11.03.08

David Gergen, I'm Cheating On You

I confess: David Gregory stole a little piece of my heart. It is, after all, election season—how could my eye not wander when there are so many fascinating and intelligent men wonking out on TV?

UPDATE: Long before David Gregory was named host of Meet the Press, The Daily Beast's Jessi Klein had her eye on him. Her post from last month is below.

I confess: David Gregory stole a little piece of my heart. It is, after all, election season—how could my eye not wander when there are so many fascinating and intelligent men wonking out on TV?

DISCLAIMER: Some of you may have read my post last month about my love for David Gergen. He is, and always will be, my No. 1. But a girl can look, can’t she? So yes, I have a crush on NBC’s chief white house correspondent, David Gregory. And yes, there will probably be other crushes. It is, after all, election season, and I don’t know how my eye could not wander when there are so many fascinating and intelligent men wonking out all across the TV dial. I’m only human.

Still, it’s fun to think of these two men in terms of the debate that rages ever passionately among us ladies: Who’s your favorite: Pitt or Clooney? I would posit that in this equation, the Gerg is the Cloon, while Gregory is more akin to Pitt. Like Clooney, Gergen posseses an old-school gravitas that Pitt/Gregory simply does not. Like Pitt, Gregory is in some ways the more obvious heartthrob. For my taste, this broadness of appeal is what takes away some of the crush’s special-ness. However, as with Pitt, I’m still capable of—how to put it?—appreciating what he has to offer.

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Like President Bush, I first crushed out on Gregory when he popped up in the White House pressroom, the unbeatable whack-a-mole of the administration’s nightmares. Bush affectionately called him Stretch, which is the most likable thing he's done in eight years. Aside from the PDA that spills over from the gay bars in my neighborhood, I've never seen a man more in love with another man. Not just regular love, but serious romantic comedy love, the chemistry of opposites that begins as antipathy and blossoms into enduring ardor. I believe Bush felt the same anticipatory excitement as I did whenever Gregory’s lanky folding ruler body would begin to unfurl. Admittedly, I was most likely a bit more turned on by the questions, but I believe we both melted a bit at Gregory's boyish, Curious George-like face, topped by that mop of gray hair glued down into a style I refer to as “Corporate Temp Warhol.”

Nothing makes my heart beat faster than his persistence in getting his questions answered—actually, his insistence on it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my version of late night Cinemax.

I love that Gregory is fun, and I love even more that he's funny. And not just by reputation, but on record. YouTube is chockablock with Gregory good times. His vaguely stoned phone interview with Don Imus from India; his hilarious appearance on Leno where he does a spot-on Bush impression; and, most famously (and already known all too well by the other Gregory lovers) his very groovy, very public boogie down to Mary J. Blige on the Today show. My favorite nerdy white man totally feeling my favorite strong black woman? Two words: mega-swoon.

But the essence of Gregory’s hawt-ness lies back in the White House pressroom. Nothing makes my heart beat faster than his persistence in getting his questions answered—actually, his insistence on it. Watch the clip on YouTube of Gregory grilling Scott McClellan in the wake of Katrina. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my version of late night Cinemax.

In conclusion, for all of you out there dating some guy who isn’t showing up for you the way he should, I suggest phasing Lame-o out of your mind and instead placing Gregory at the center of your romantic fantasies. And then think: Don’t you want to be pursued with the same single-minded focus and passion with which Gregory pursues the truth?

Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She is currently writing a screenplay for Universal Studios, as well as occasionally drawing animals for her best friend’s letterpress card company. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.