The Old Zeitgeist Vs. the New Zeitgeist
When did 401(k) statements replace waterboarding as the primary instrument of torture?
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AP
As the French saying goes, “Plus ça change, plus c’est la meme chose.” (Translation: “Is not our first lady hot?”) But is it really true that things never really change, they just stay the same? Herewith a guide to where things stand zeitgeist-wise as we usher in a new president, and with any luck, a new era. On reflection, perhaps the French have something there. They usually do.
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Old |
New | |
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Worst U.S. President |
Buchanan |
Bush (II) |
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Reassuring African-American Leader |
Colin Powell |
Obama |
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Menacing Ruskie |
Stalin |
Putin |
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GOP Clotheshorse |
Nancy Reagan |
Sarah Palin |
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Toxic Substance |
Asbestos |
Collateralized Debt Obligation |
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Three Stooges |
Moe, Larry, Curley |
Detroit Auto CEOs |
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Spurious Casus Belli |
Tonkin Gulf Incident |
WMDs |
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Supremely Self-satisfied Talk Show Host |
Bill O'Reilly |
Keith Olbermann |
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Over-The-Top Crooked Pol |
Duke Cunningham |
Gov. Blagojevich |
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Eponymous/Onomatopoeic Financial Scoundrel |
Ponzi |
Madoff (MAY-Doff) |
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Martin Luther King Wept |
Sharpton |
Wright |
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Fugitive |
Richard Kimball |
Osama bin Laden |
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Wise Man |
Greenspan |
Buffett |
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Hunky Aussie |
Russell Crowe |
Hugh Jackman |
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Downed Aviator |
Amelia Earhart |
Steve Fossett |
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Oxygen-Depleting,Single-NamedBlonde Divorcée |
Diana |
Madonna |
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Caribbean Hell Hole |
David's Island |
Guantanamo |
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Sapphic TV Personality |
Ellen de Generes |
Rachel Maddow |
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Cancer Phobia |
Cell phones |
Bottled water |
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UnfortunateSanguinaryPhoto Op |
Saddam Execution |
Sarah Palin at Turkey Slaughterhouse |
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Illegal Substance |
Meth |
Canadian Lipitor |
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Guilty Pleasure |
Downloading Napster |
Leaving Lights On |
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High-minded Catchphrase |
Compassionate Conservatism |
Audacity of Hope |
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Cool Brit |
Tony Blair |
Boris Johnson |
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Politically Incorrect Gas guzzler |
Hummer |
Gulfstream |
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Texan Wind Bag |
Ross Perot |
T. Boone Pickens |
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Weirdo Actor |
Christopher Walken |
Joaquin Phoenix |
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Scary Weather Event |
Perfect Storm |
Katrina |
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Potty-Mouthed Illinois Pol |
Rahm Emmanuel |
Gov. Blagojevich |
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Repugnant African Despot |
Idi Amin |
Robert Mugabe |
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Crown Kennedy |
Ted |
Caroline |
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Cupcake |
Sarah Jessica |
Jen |
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$6 Million Book Advance |
Colin Powell |
Tina Fey |
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Ubiquitous Historian |
Douglas Brinkley |
Niall Ferguson |
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Hyper-Adoptive Actress |
Mia Farrow |
Angelina Jolie |
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Tantalizing Opener |
Please to contact me most Very immediately re: $16 Mil Dollars (US) In Your Bank of Nigeria Acct! |
In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours... |
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Creepy Pol |
Larry Craig |
Eliot Spitzer |
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Village Atheist |
Madalyn Murray O'Hair |
Christopher Hitchens |
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Hot Wheels |
Boxster |
Tesla |
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Frigid, Cash Strapped Landmass |
Russia |
Iceland |
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Presidential Reading |
My Pet Goat |
Team of Rivals |
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F--- You VP |
Rockefeller |
Cheney |
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Cute NASA Gizmo |
Mars Rover |
Orbiting Tool Box |
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Fun Clinton |
Bill |
Hillary |
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Torture Device |
Water-board |
401(k) Statement |
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Chicago G-Man |
Eliot Ness |
Patrick Fitzgerald |
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Hot First Lady |
Carla Sarkozy |
Michelle Obama |
Christopher Buckley’s books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. His journalism, satire, and criticism has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Esquire. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and the founder and editor-in-chief of Forbes FYI.