03.10.09

Madoff Victim Alexandra Penney on His Guilty Plea

As Bernie prepares to plead guilty to a massive Ponzi scheme, his victim muses on what his refusal to cut a deal says about his insanely grandiose mind and how he might yet outwit his jail time.

So the MF (aka Madoff) is going to plead guilty to all 11 fraud charges—I was sure he’d cop the “aberrant gene” defense.

There is no plea deal.

A plea means the MF has to give something up in order to gain something. The only thing he’s given up by pleading guilty is his disgusting, loathsome, repulsive self, and something in me says that in his insanely grandiose mind, he believes he will still outsmart the prosecutors the way he gamed the SEC and the government.

Will he be in a comfy cell with his “husband” ladling out pasta, to be followed with a vintage Merlot and a prime porterhouse steak, a la Goodfellas?

By not entering into a plea bargain, he’s saved his dirty secrets and implicated none of the others who helped him scheme and steal. He’s also “saved” sweet, innocent little Ruthie and his sons, brother, grandchildren, et al.—a whole slew of his skanky relatives, many of whom, I am beyond certain, are guilty as sin. This is a magnanimous gesture, and the effing MF is given to the opposite—sociopathic selfishness to exponential extremes.

He won’t be sentenced for several months, so in the meantime, where will he be residing? In the glam penthouse? Will he still be able to smoke the cigars little innocent Ruthie buys for him with her millions?

When he finally ends up in jail, will he be in a comfy cell with his “husband” ladling out pasta, to be followed with a vintage Merlot and a prime porterhouse steak, a la Goodfellas?

One last thought: Let’s suppose he’s suffering from a terminal illness, so maybe he knows he’ll croak soon, and that’s how he’ll outwit his jail time and spend his last days not in a cell but a nice hospital prison room where innocent little Ruthie visits often and feeds him his fave Great Chefs’ dishes.

I, for one, am hoping he doesn’t pop off anytime soon.

Alexandra Penney is an artist, bestselling author, former editor-in-chief of Self Magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. She had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.