Publishing: The Sequel

The folks at Perseus Books Group crash-published Book: The Sequel in a 48-hour frenzy at Book Expo America this year. In a stunt intended to spark a dialogue about the future of publishing—during a time of handwringing in the industry—editing, printing, binding, jacket design, and sale of the book all took place at Perseus’ booth. The result? A pun-filled collection of 240 first lines from “classics of the future” solicited from people all across the globe, with an introduction by Geoffrey Nunberg. Read what speed-publishing wrought in this sampling of imaginary sequels—from Holden Caufield as an adult office worker to a Bible sequel.

From The Return of Holden Caufield
(sequel to The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger)

Holden looked down at his tired, weathered hands and then back up at the empty faces who surrounded his cubicle; they gathered to witness his breakdown, listening as he damned each and every one of them for their sputtering phoniness. —Antonio Fasciano, New York

From Richard the Third on Zoloft
(sequel to Richard III by William Shakespeare)

Now is the winter of our discontent—Oh wait, I feel much better.
—Daniel Gallant, New York

From And Ne'er the Twain Shall Meet
(sequel to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray)

On second thought, maybe you should both just shut up, get a hobby, and pretend everything is OK.
—David Young, Sapporo, Japan

From Stranger Remains
(sequel to The Stranger by Albert Camus)

I died today or yesterday maybe, I don't know.
—Robert Pigeon

From The "Generation Me" Pearl
(sequel to The Pearl by John Steinbeck)

"What, you only got me one stinkin' pearl?"
—Marilyn Peake

From Busted and Bailed Out
(sequel to Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man who has lost his fortune in a Ponzi scheme, his job in structured finance, and his retirement savings in toxic assets must be in want of a wife.
—Liz Goldenberg, New York City

From The Sound and the Fury: Dilsey's Story
(sequel to The Sound and Fury by William Faulkner)

These white people are crazy.
—Debra Ginsberg, San Diego

From The Communist Rescinding
(sequel to The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx)

Well, working men of the world, you united, and judging from what happened in China and Russia, I would say that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.
—Dena Kronfeld, New York City

From The Bible II: So Satan Won
(sequel to The Bible by God)

Well, that didn't work out.
—Anonymous

Extracted from Book: The Sequel by Clive Priddle and Geoff Nunberg © 2009. With permission from the publisher, Public Affairs Books.