Brittany and Santana: Scissor Sisters
Brittany and Santana’s ambiguous relationship has largely been played for laughs—probably because Heather Morris is freakin’ hilarious. But in this scene, there was a hint that maybe the inter-Cheerio mingling isn’t just a hookup of convenience…for one of them, anyway. Santana brushed the tryst off, saying, “I’m like a lizard, I need something warm beneath me or I can’t digest my food.” Brit, on the other hand, seemed way more ready to make, as Santana put it, “lady babies.” Does this mean Brittany is full-on bisexual rather than just sexually undiscriminating? If so, three cheers for more diversity in primetime! And kudos to the writers for slipping a “scissoring” reference past the censors.
Santana and Mercedes Go “River Deep, Mountain High” for Breadsticks
Glee’s resident soul queens, Mercedes and Santana, put aside their (many, many) differences in the name of trying to win Mr. Schuester’s duet competition, and its coveted prize—dinner for two at what is apparently the only restaurant in town, Breadsticks, where they are “legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks.” Their bid for glory came in the form of a sizzling cover of Ike & Tina Turner's “River Deep, Mountain High.”
Both Sides, Now!
Initially, Kurt wanted to do his duet with the newest gleek (and his latest crush), Sam (Chord Overstreet)—he of the faux-Bieber coif. But after some reflection, Kurt decided instead to do his duet with the most talented member of glee club—himself. Naturally. Enter Victor/Victoria and “Le Jazz Hot!” It was a turn that would make Julie Andrews proud. And, hey, the transtastic number was good practice for the Rocky Horror tribute episode, airing October 26.
Artie Trades in His V-Card for a Jerk License
After Santana ditched Brittany to duet with Mercedes, Brit decided to duet with Artie…and we’re not just talking about singing. “Am I gonna lose my virginity?” Artie asked as Brit laid him down on the bed. “Before our duet, we’re gonna do it,” she quipped. That may be her first intentionally funny line! Cut to a few days later, and Artie is feeling a bit of buyer’s remorse. He tells Brittany that she used him for his voice, and that after his accident, finding out he’d even be able to have sex was “some kind of miracle” and she just walked all over it. Er, wow. Brittany’s very specific view on sex—that it’s best enjoyed on a regular basis with a variety of partners—has been well-established on the show. Hell, she hooked up with Kurt, and he doesn’t even like girls! So Artie shouldn’t be that surprised to find out she’s not necessarily looking to get hitched, which makes his anger in the scene seem unnecessarily mean—especially when it takes two to duet. (Unless you’re Kurt.)
“This Isn’t Happening….”
In a rare (really, really rare!) moment of generosity, Rachel decided she and Finn had to throw the competition in order to let Sam and Quinn win, so that Sam would feel more a part of the club and less inclined to quit—especially since Puck is apparently in juvie, leaving them short on male vocalists. Their brilliant plan was to perform a terrible song ("With You I'm Born Again" by Billy Preston and Syreeta Wright) in the most offensive way possible (dressed as a priest and a naughty schoolgirl). So much for all the religious sensitivity they learned last week! It’s a good thing they decided to throw the competition, though, because otherwise Sam and Quinn wouldn’t have stood a chance with their bland cover of an even blander song, Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat's "Lucky."
Kurt and Rachel: So Happy Together
Once the competition was over, it was time for the real standout duet of the night: Rachel and Kurt’s mashup of "Happy Days Are Here Again" and "Get Happy" from The Judy Garland Show. As delicious as it is when Kurt and Rachel are sniping at each other in a full-on diva fit, this stunning performance handily proved that they’re far, far better together than apart.
Shannon Donnelly is a video editor at The Daily Beast. Previously, she interned at Gawker and Overlook Press, edited the 2007 edition of Inside New York, and graduated from Columbia University. You can read more of her writing here.