It's been a bad week for both the former California governor and the former presidential candidate. Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby-mama drama just keeps getting worse, while John Edwards is reportedly about to be charged in connection with his own affair. Can you tell the difference between the two philandering pols? Take The Daily Beast quiz.
A. "I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to [my wife], my children and my family. I am truly sorry."
B. "I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs. I recognized my mistake and I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness."
A. "Having money, having people around me, being able to buy a nicer shirt or whatever without having to worry about it, or going to dinner and not having to worry about it, that's all true, that has changed. But I don't think it changes anything about me as a person."
B. "Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million."
A. "I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time. While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not."
B. "If you want to beat me up—feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."
A. "You won't be shocked to hear that I don't mandate anything with [my wife], and I don't think she believes she does with me."
B. "I love her and I will always take care of her. Nobody should worry."
A. "I know a lot of athletes and models are written off as just bodies. I never felt used for my body."
B. "I'd rather be successful or unsuccessful based on who I really am, not based on some plastic Ken doll you put up in front of audiences."
A. "If you work hard and play by the rules, this country is truly open to you. You can achieve anything."
B. "We choose to be inspired because we know that we can do better, because this is America, where everything is still possible."
A. "The last thing in the world that the people of California need is to spend $70 to $100 million on a recall election that could be used for schools, hospitals, to hire police officers and firemen."
B. "I speak directly to the people, and I know that the people of California want to have better leadership. They want to have great leadership. They want to have somebody that will represent them. And it doesn't matter if you're a Democrat or a Republican, young or old."
A. "There is so much work to be done to treat gays and lesbians and gay and lesbian couples with the respect that they're entitled to. They deserve, in my judgment, partnership benefits."
B. "I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."
A. "I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life."
B. "I want to be a champion for the people I have fought for all my life—regular people."
A. "I am and have been willing to take any test necessary to establish the fact that I am not the father of any baby, and I am truly hopeful that a test will be done so this fact can be definitively established. I only know that the apparent father has said publicly that he is the father of the baby."
B. "Who is your daddy and what does he do?"
1) a. Schwarzenegger b. Edwards
2) a. Edwards b. Schwarzenegger
3) a. Schwarzenegger b. Edwards
4) a. Edwards b. Schwarzenegger
5) a. Schwarzenegger b. Edwards
6) a. Schwarzenegger b. Edwards
7) a. Edwards b. Schwarzenegger
8) a. Edwards b. Schwarzenegger
9) a. Schwarzenegger b. Edwards
10) a. Edwards b. Schwarzenegger (in Kindergarten Cop)
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS:
10/10: You're ready for a secret child of your own!
8 or 9: As Rielle would say, " You're so hot!"
6 or 7: You need a Pumping Iron refresher.
4 or 5: Buy The Politician and get Conan on Netflix, stat!
3 and under: You have been terminated. Hasta la vista, baby!
David Graham is a reporter for Newsweek covering politics, national affairs, and business. His writing has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal and The National in Abu Dhabi.