Your Kind of Place

06.29.12

I'm Moving to Burma

Actually, I'm not, but I'm finding especially hilarious some comments from conservatives on various threads I've seen that theyre moving to Canada.

@kclovesya: I'm moving to Canada. Obviously the United States doesn't know what they are doing anymore. This used to be a great country... Pretty sad.

@LucasDargis: The supreme court upheld Obama Care. That's it. I'm moving to Canada!

@WallyWeldon: I'm moving to Canada, the United States is entirely too socialist.

@angelbaby009: Individual mandate upheld, this fudging ridiculous. I'm marrying a Canadian n moving to Canada.

@JacquaFlocka: God literally fuck this. I'm moving to Canada. Jump off a cliff.

Hey, you stoopid nincompoops! Canada has socialized medicine! My God. Are people really this dumb? I guess they are.

Here's a little primer for you. When liberals joked, after the 2004 election, that we were moving to Canada, it wasn't just because it's nearby. It's because it's a paradise in some ways compared to this place. There are very few right-wing idiots. The Canadian political culture doesn't have to pretend that the views of people who think the earth is 6,000 years old have to be taken seriously. And they have single-payer heealth care.

Your search, on the other hand, might take you to Burma, say, which, in the latest WHO rankings, has the worst health-care system in the world. Whether it's public or private I don't know, but clearly, the principle is firmly in place there that the undeserving moochers don't get health care, so it must be your kind of place. Of course the country did just lose its ruling military junta, so I'm sure you'll find that a tad disappointing. And you'll have to listen to that insufferable Aung San Suu Kyi prattle on about human rights and all these other socialist conspiracies. But there probably aren't any black people or illegal immigrants. And if you buy the right real estate, you can see China from your porch, so you can become an expert on foreign policy.