Pour out a shot of Jäger for the grenades who are no more. Throw up one last fist-pump in memory of those nights at Karma, because all guido things must come to end. MTV announced Thursday that is canceling its hit reality series Jersey Shore. Its stars are growing up—as much as one can ever expect them to—and ratings are down. The show’s upcoming sixth season, premiering Oct. 4, will be its last.
When the series introduced viewers to GTL enthusiasts (that’s Gym, Tan, Laundry) Snooki, J-Woww, the Situation, Pauly D, Sami Sweetheart, Ronnie, and Deena, the look at a group of twentysomethings’ boozy nights during a summer in Seaside Heights, N.J., polarized its audience. Italian Americans blasted the show for the cast’s unflattering embodiment of ethnic stereotypes, but the series quickly grew to become the most popular program in MTV history. By its third season, almost 9 million viewerswere tuning in to see the tanned crew’s ridiculous shenanigans.
In honor of the show’s final season, we’ve rounded up those wild times—a retrospective of Jersey Shore’s raging fights, drunken tomfoolery, and crazy moments.
The Punch Heard Around the World
As its popularity skyrocketed in Season One, Jersey Shore began making major headlines. But no incident received as much attention as the moment Snooki got punched. The guidette was at a bar when a group of men started giving her unwanted attention. After Snooki lashed out at him to leave her alone, the man—later revealed to be a New York schoolteacher—sucker-punched her in the face with so much force she was thrown to the ground.
A Tricky Situation
The Situation was not only the crew’s master of hookups, but also, surprisingly, wordplay. The high point of the two came in Season Two when the boys invited two girls back to their apartment as backups in case no better options surfaced at the club. When they did, the guys suddenly had two sets of girls at the house to juggle, and neither pair knew about the other. As Sitch finagled his way through the scenario, his narration was loathsome, derogatory… and brilliant. “In this type of situation, you have to separate the two sets of girls, and then you have to separate the hippopotamus from her good-looking friend,” he explains. “I will extract the hot one, and leave the grenade to blow up in Ronnie’s room by herself.”
The Bro Beatdown
Throughout much of the first three seasons of Jersey Shore, catchphrase-coining playboy the Situation and Ronnie—the hulky, tortured paramour of Sami Sweetheart—engaged in nothing short of a bromance. That all changed during the Season Four trip to Italy, when a violent fistfight broke out between the two over something the Situation told Sami, ending with Sitch inexplicably ramming his own head into a wall and getting carted off to the ospedale.
The Lovers’ Quarrel
To call Sami and Ron’s relationship hot and cold would be an understatement as egregious as saying Snooki likes “a little color” on her skin. But the rocky relationship escalated into numerous alarmingly violent fights in Season Three. Throughout the tumultuous summer, clothes were thrown, furniture was turned over, and, in one particularly memorable altercation, Sami even punched Ronnie in the face.
J-Woww and Sami’s Girlfight
Long before Ronnie ever laid a hand on the Situation, J-Woww and and Sami got into a brawl of their own. Sami accused J-Woww of breaking the girl code—failing to inform about her boyfriend’s infidelities—and the two exchanged (bleeped-out) words before pouncing on each other. The dustup was complete with hair-pulling, punching, and, of course, loads of cursing.
‘You’re a #%&-ing Psycho!’
When Snooki arrived in Italy to film Season Four, she made it very clear to her GTL friends that she was in a committed relationship with boyfriend Jionni. So when the Situation let spill that he and Snooki smushed in L.A. just before the trip, she reared her head and laid into him, denying his claims. She screamed, “You’re a [bleep] psycho,” and called him a liar. It wasn’t the duo’s only fight in Italy. A practical joke later in the season led Snooki to chuck wine bottles—there were plenty lying around—at Sitch.
‘Where’s My Boyfriend?’
When Snooki’s at the time on-again-off-again boyfriend Jionni (they’re engaged and have a child together now) arrived in Italy for a visit, the overly excited girlfriend couldn’t keep her hands off him—or keep away from the bar. She drunkenly danced in the club, exposing her panties for all to see (and never un-see). Jionni furiously stormed out, and Snooki tried to chase after him, but, barely able to stay on her feet, the chase more closely resembled Bambi learning how to walk. The disaster ended with Snooki meandering the streets of Italy wailing, “Where’s my boyfriend?!”
‘Where’s the Beach?’
Snooki has a history of having trouble finding things while under the influence. In a memorable Season Two episode, an obviously hammered Snooki paraded up and down the Seaside Heights boardwalk, bellowing, “Where’s the beach?”—though the beach was mere feet away. The drunken antics got the attention of local police, who arrested her for disorderly conduct.
Snooki and Vinny Smush
Broken up (at least temporarily) from Jionni while in Italy, Snooki climbed into Vinny’s bed. As Pauly D astutely narrated, “There’s a lot of stuff going on in that bed right now. I see blankets going up and down. I see Snooki’s head popping up for air. We all know what’s going down.” When asked later in an interview with Wendy Williams how the night went, Vinny responded, “Um… you ever have sex with a meatball?”
The Meatballs Kiss
Snooki and Deena love each other. How couldn’t they? They’re physical doppelgängers and spiritual twins. The lovefest got out of control in a Season Three episode when the overly tanned, diminutive divas began making out a bar, as if acting out a sordid piece of Willy Wonka/Oompa Loompa fan fiction.
‘Cabs Are Here!’
Pauly D, bless his heart, never got into a fistfight with a roommate or drunkenly hooked up with Snooki. But he was still beloved by fans for his near-constant grin and unyielding allegiance to his fellow guidos. Never was he more delightful than when bellowing, “The cabs are here!” to the housemates—something he did so often, so obnoxiously, and so famously that it was even turned into a ringtone.