Government Microchips

Britain's Dog Truthers

02.08.13 1:22 PM ET

Is your pet next? (Mario Tama/Getty Images)

Britain will require all dogs to be implanted with microchips by 2016. Ostensibly, the measure is intended to prevent theft and straying, but the Daily Mash reveals a more sinister agenda:

Three-year-old Cairn terrier Rocky said: “Cameron is using the whole ‘dangerous dogs’ thing as a smokescreen. He just wants to know which dogs are members of subversive political groups. … Rottweiler and conspiracy theorist Chunky said: “They don’t care about us biting people or making poodles pregnant, this is really about the risk that we might stray onto secret government bases where they’ve got UFOs.