Fringe Factor

Fringe Factor: The U.N. Is Coming for Your Kids

Biracial couples are gross, the United Nations will sexually radicalize your children, and anti-abortionists plot to kidnap pregnant women in Texas. Another week in fun from the fringe.

11.17.13 11:45 AM ET

The U.N. Is Coming to Radicalize Your Children

Hide your kids, the “sexual radicals” of the United Nations are coming! The U.N. released a report this week addressing the link between teen pregnancy and “an underlying failure to fulfill young women’s human rights,” offering suggestions for fighting teen pregnancy, such as clamping down on child marriage and providing access to birth control options. This sent the Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute into a tailspin, it sent out a panicked email to their supporters declaring that “The sexual radicals have your children, MY CHILDREN, in their crosshairs.” The organization’s president, Austin Ruse, warned, “This new report, by one of the most powerful U.N. agencies in the world, tells governments that your children must have U.N.-style family planning. That means pills, injections, IUDs, and the whole panoply of evil devices that will ruin their bodies and take their souls. And if these evil devices fail? Well, there is abortion, always abortion, everywhere abortion.” It’s already started in New Hampshire, where former Republican State Chairman Jack Kimball’s family members have reportedly seen 60 white unmarked military vehicles—likely belonging to the U.N.—descending on the Granite State, obviously proof of Kimball’s claim that the U.N. is preparing to invade.

No, You’re Not Racist. Biracial Couples Are Nauseating

Do you feel like vomiting whenever you see a biracial couple? Don’t worry, Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen insists that’s a totally normal reaction, it doesn’t mean you’re a racist. The GOP isn’t racist either, he wrote in a column this week, they’re just distraught over “the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde,” he says. “People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering that the mayor-elect of New York—a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children.” And don’t even get him started on the fact that Bill de Blasio’s black wife “used to be a lesbian.”

Anti-Abortionists Infiltrate Reproductive-Rights Group, Encourage Kidnapping Pregnant Women

Undercover anti-abortionists seem to have infiltrated a North Texas “reproductive justice” organization called the Cicada Collective. The Collective was seeking volunteers to “shuttle TX women around for their abortion appointments,” and an email posted to Facebook reveals that someone within the organization was calling on pro-life advocates to volunteer and use the opportunity to “minister an abortion-minded woman for an hour while you DON’T take her to the clinic,” the email read. “And hey if you can’t change her mind by the time she gets out of your car and realizes she is at church and not the clinic, she missed her appointment anyway.”

Gays and Women Weaken the U.S. Military, Invite War

Good old Sandy Rios, who this year said the U.S. military was far too gay to strike Syria, is at it again. This time it was a guest on her show, Frank Gaffney of the Center for Security Policy, who made a similarly offensive statement—accusing the gay and female members of the U.S. military of inviting war. “God help us if we have to go to war again,” Gaffney said during a special Veterans Day segment. “Especially if we invite war by this kind of behavior and weakness as we have in the past.” By engineering what Gaffney called “the Obama wrecking operation,” filling the military with women and homosexuals and putting “every Christian in uniform on notice for the practice of their faith and possibly a career-threatening activity,” he said, “you really have, I’m afraid, put us in the position where we are breaking the only military we have.”