The Best of the Beast, Aug 3-4

Our favorite stories for your weekend reading list.

08.02.14 10:45 AM ET

Is FedEx America’s No. 1 Drug Dealer?
By Abby Haglage

The shipping company heads to court Tuesday to face $1.6 billion in charges of conspiring to traffic illegal meds. A former courier, allegedly told to ‘protect drug dealers,’ isn’t surprised.

Your ‘Craft’ Rye Whiskey Is Probably From a Factory Distillery in Indiana
By Eric Felton

The artisan whiskey industry has a big secret—many of the ‘small-batch’ distillers are actually buying their product from a large factory in Indiana.

Rand Paul’s Daddy Issues
By Olivia Nuzzi

The man that led the Kentucky senator to Washington could prevent him from entering the White House.

Even Left-Wing Politicians Can’t Quit Israel
By Tim Mack

Despite grassroots outrage at Operation Protective Edge, left-wing members of the House and Senate won’t criticize Israel’s ongoing incursion into Gaza.

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Pricks
by Marlow Stern

In the wake of NFL star Ray Rice’s measly two-game suspension for assaulting his fiancée, embarrassing ESPN personality Stephen A. Smith went nuts, warning about the dangers of women ‘provoking’ men. But this behavior is nothing new for the network’s commentators.

Inside the Gaza Schoolyard Massacre
By Jesse Rosenfeld

There are reasons the U.N. agency charged with caring for Palestinian refugees is the focus of Israeli suspicion, but in Gaza it may also be in Israel’s sights.

I Tried Cosmo’s Lesbian Sex Tips and They Were Terrible
By Samantha Allen

Cosmopolitan is bringing its hilariously bad sex tips to lesbians now. They’re just as laughable as the straight version, and prove the mag knows little to nothing about real life lesbian sex.

Beware the Designer Vagina
By Lizzie Crocker

If the designer vagina generation is nipping and folding now, what will they do when gravity, childbirth, and decades of vigorous sex take their toll?

Iraq’s Long-Lost Mythical Temple Has Been Found…and Is In Danger of Disappearing Again
By Nina Strochlic

For centuries, scientists have been searching for an ancient temple dedicated to a winged warrior. Now, one archaeologist thinks he may have found it. Only problem: It’s in the middle of a war zone.

The Pill Is More Than Birth Control
By Kelli Goff

We need to a better job of explaining that women use birth control for much more than delaying or avoiding motherhood.

James Lee Burke Talks About His Fiction, History, and the American Dream
By David Masciotra

Abandoning the badasses in his usual Louisiana haunts, the Edgar-winning author crafts his first historical novel about oil, movies, and the American Dream.