Ben Quayle Wins Primary

A new ego could soon be landing in Washington D.C.: Ben Quayle, the son of former vice president Dan Quayle, unexpectedly won his Republican primary for a House seat in Arizona on Tuesday despite a slate of bad press. Controversy enveloped Quayle after he was accused of writing for the site TheDirty.com under the pseudonym Brock Landers, which is the name of a porn star from Boogie Nights. Quayle allegedly compared his own physique to the Sistine Chapel and wrote things like, “Long story short, on a scale of 1-to-10, I'm awesome,” and, "My moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot." He also cut a campaign ad in which he called President Obama “the worst president in history.”