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The Week in Apologies
A collection of regrets from around the world. Today: tainted milk, bawdy Palin jokes, and compensation for Lehman execs.
Welcome to The Daily Beast’s inaugural edition of the Week in Apologies. Far from sorry being the hardest word, we at the Beast regularly observe guilty parties tripping over each other to express their profoundest regrets. All of these examples are plucked from media sources and in some cases edited for clarity.
Please be advised that launching this feature the day after Yom Kippur is not coincidental, but divine timing. We apologize in advance if there is anything here that doesn’t meet with your approval.
Al Sharpton seemed to welcome the verdict (he was found guilty of disorderly conduct). He stood before Judge Stephen and thanked him for acknowledging that his protests were peaceful. He also apologized to anyone whom his protests might have inconvenienced.
Referring to the vice presidential debate, Rep. Anthony Weiner said, "Undeniably, we saw a vice presidential candidate who had nice legs. I won’t dispute that...” Weiner's spokesman later emailed the Observer, "It was a misguided attempt at humor and Anthony apologizes for it."
Lehman executive George H. Walker, a cousin of President Bush’s, apologized for circulating a memo in the company’s “chaotic final hours.” The memo was itself apologetic about passing along a recommendation that senior executives forgo their bonuses. Rep. Henry Waxman quoted from the memo, which included this gem: “Sorry team. I’m not sure what’s in the water at 605 Third Avenue today... I’m embarrassed and I apologize.”
The chaplain for London's stock exchange apologized for writing on his blog that it should be "obligatory for homosexuals" to be tattooed with a health warning like those found on cigarettes.
In an emotional meeting with the parents of children who had fallen sick after imbibing tainted milk, Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao said he felt "very guilty" about the poisoned milk, adding "I sincerely apologize to all of you."
Japan's new Prime Minister Taro Aso on Thursday vowed to watch his language and apologized for making unguarded remarks in the past in an apparent reference to previous controversial comments on wartime history.
A Falcon jet that violated Iranian airspace and was forced to land in one of Iran's airports belonged to the NATO forces. According to Press TV, a number of governments, including Hungry, have apologized to Iran's government for the incident.
Chicago Bears’ defensive tackle Tommie Harris, who was suspended for last week’s game against Detroit for undisclosed reasons, apologized to teammates and fans.
Canadian tax officials have apologized to a Manitoba couple the agency accused of fabricating the existence of their two young daughters and say the money owed to Tanya and Rob Chateauneuf will be in their bank account by Oct. 20.
Taiwan's top intelligence officer apologized yesterday for telling lawmakers China had developed the SARS virus into a biochemical weapon.
University of Nebraska football coach Bo Pelini apologized to the entire state of Nebraska and vowed total redemption for a poor showing against Missouri.
Seoul's top educator apologized Tuesday for borrowing election campaign money from operators of private cram schools.
Economic and Fiscal Policy Minister Kaoru Yosano and Finance Minister Shoichi Nakagawa have apologized to leaders of the Diet, Japan’s legislature, for watching TV on a cell phone during a House of Councilors plenary session.
The Nacogdoches (Texas) ISD administration apologized Wednesday for a cheerleader pep rally skit in September which simulated the execution-style slaying of the opposing team.
New York’s Ravena-Coeymans-Selkirk Central School District has apologized to a high school history teacher for falsely accusing him of inappropriate contact with a female student.
A group that supports foster children has apologized for a fundraiser at which the mayor of Arkansas City, Kansas, wore dark makeup that some people considered blackface.
Bob and Joanne Breiner returned home after dinner at a Chinese buffet. Bob Breiner went upstairs and found the man sound asleep in the couple's bed, his pants and shoes on the floor. Police say the man had been drinking and accidentally went to the wrong house. The man apologized profusely and complimented the Breiners on their comfortable bed.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jeff Madrick is a contributor to the New York Review of Books and a former economics columnist for the New York Times. He is editor of Challenge Magazine, visiting professor of humanities at Cooper Union, and senior fellow at the New School's Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. He is the author of Taking America, The End of Affluence (Random House) and The Case for Big Government.
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Adam Hanft is a decoder of the consumer culture and our branded planet. He blogs for The Huffington Post and FastCompany.com. He is also the co-author of Dictionary of the Future and is founder and CEO of the marketing and branding firm Hanft Raboy. Follow him at Twitter.com/hanft.
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Adam Hanft is a decoder of the consumer culture and our branded planet. He blogs for The Huffington Post and FastCompany.com. He is also the co-author of Dictionary of the Future and is founder and CEO of the marketing and branding firm Hanft Raboy. Follow him at Twitter.com/hanft.
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Adam Hanft is a decoder of the consumer culture and our branded planet. He blogs for The Huffington Post and FastCompany.com. He is also the co-author of Dictionary of the Future and is founder and CEO of the marketing and branding firm Hanft Raboy. Follow him at Twitter.com/hanft.
Adam, Nice Feature, but Harry Shearer has been doing his "apologies of the week" for decades on Le Show. Just wanted you to know...that isn't anything new.
"According to Press TV, a number of governments, including Hungry"
Hungary.
New or not, I like it. Keep it up.
Males of american are only fascinated by Sarah's legs. She is otherwise an ruthless idiot.
I think they protest to much. Palin uses her looks to get were she has gotten. When I see her I see her looking like a witch. She wears glasses and the way she closes her mouth and she sorta has a long nose. Just put a black long cone hat and outfit and she looks like a witch. Really she does. She is good looking on the outside but is ugly on the inside.
I don't see what is so great about anybody's legs. But guys are turn on by the dumbest things. Hell they would screw a key hold if they could get away with it.
Gee, Adam, you slam Sarah Silverman for stealing old jokes, and yet, my "copyrighted feature", the Apologies of the Week, 7 years old last September, becomes something shiny and new in your hands. Alchemy lives.
Neat stuff. When will McCain apology for his whole campaign
He insulted the intelligence off the American people bring up fluff when the stock market implodes.
Sandman
Thank you.
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