With a black family moving into the White House for the first time in history, the comedian offers his thoughts on what’s likely to change. Expect Jay-Z on the sound system, a "Pink Room" for the girls, and Oprah’s decorating touch.
1. A beauty salon stocked with black hair care products will be built for Michelle and the two girls. The humidity will kill a sister in D.C.
2. Country music will be banned and replaced with rap, preferably Jay-Z.....the clean version. And hopefully some Earth, Wind & Fire.
3. The staff around the White House will be wearing smiles, getting to work on time and proud to be in the HOUSE.
4. While this change will not happen in the White House per say, it will be a direct result of who is in the White house: More people will be checking "other" when they fill out forms asking them to describe their race.
5. Because President Obama has such beautiful daughters, he will soon be building a secure wing where he will hide them so he will not have to "hurt a brother," "deport a brother," or have a brother "disappeared.”
6. There will be a Pink Room at the White House because his daughter has asked for it, and they are daddy’s girls.
7. Although this brother is an educated Harvard grad and his wife is from Princeton, there will be occasions when CP time will rule the schedule and folks will have to wait.
8. Oprah Winfrey will redecorate the guest room at the White House, and Gayle will help.
9. The president will never use the "back door" at the White House, even if he has to go the bathroom and can not hold it. ‘Nuff said.
10. Occasionally security will have to deal with random brothers and sisters coming to the guard gate and saying, "Tell Barack I need to speak to him...he knows my people."
Sinbad has starred in hit movies like Jingle All the Way, playing opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger; Houseguest, co-starring the late Phil Hartman; and Necessary Roughness, where he did none of his own stunts. He has starred in the television sitcom A Different World as well as his own series, The Sinbad Show.
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Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. She had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
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Steve Emerson is Executive Director of the Investigative Project on Terrorism and author of 5 books and countless articles on terrorism. His most recent book is Jihad Incorporated: A Guide to Militant Islam in the U.S.
Eric Dezenhall co-founded the high-stakes communications firm Dezenhall Resources, Ltd., and serves as its CEO. Eric's first book, Nail 'em!: Confronting High-Profile Attacks on Celebrities and Business, pioneered techniques for understanding and defusing crises.
Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She is currently writing a screenplay for Universal Studios, as well as occasionally drawing animals for her best friend’s letterpress card company. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
Max Blumenthal is a senior writer for The Daily Beast and writing fellow at The Nation Institute, whose book, Republican Gomorrah (Basic/Nation Books), is forthcoming in Spring 2009. Contact him at maxblumenthal3000@yahoo.com.
by Sinbad
Sinbad has starred in hit movies like Jingle All the Way, playing opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger; Houseguest, co-starring the late Phil Hartman; and Necessary Roughness, where he did none of his own stunts. He has starred in the television sitcom A Different World as well as his own series, The Sinbad Show.
No. 1 Reason Sinbad really doesn't have much of a career :
Stuff like this.
One always appreciates a good Sinbad routine; however, I think comedians and satirists are going to have to work harder. After all, Obama is half white, and that half shouldn't be discounted when coming up with comedic concepts and punch lines. Bach will have to meet Jay-Z.
Wow, this is quite spectacularly unfunny.
I mean, I'm not saying comedians necessarily shouldn't test the boundaries on racial issues, but they should at least try to be actually funny when doing so.
Sinbad,
The year 1985 called.. it wants it's top 10 list back
Way to take Black comedy back 20 years. None of this is funny whatsoever. This is morbidly boring and worse unoriginal.
Oh and Sinbad - it's "per se" not "per say." It's Latin.
I expect this from Sinbad, but from The Daily Beast I expect a lot more.
Hilarious in a recent "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" episode.
You had "First Black President moving into the White house" to work with and this is the best you could come up with? Really?
This is so unfunny it offends me.
Ummm...what?
It's comments like these that perpetuate the myth...He wasn't funny in the 80's and I see nothing's changed. Let's reject this nonsense at every turn and move forward in getting our country back on track. The world is watching and waiting for us to return to our place of prominence
To the Daily Beast:
Please reject this nonsense in all forms. Move forward with this country. Stuff like this only wieghs us down.
di toe ... and apparently this is the first example of "No, we can't"
Boo, and double boo.
boring