Blogs and Stories
Foodies Give Me Indigestion
Why fussy eaters for whom the opening of a new Mario Batali restaurant spurs the same excited panting as a dose of Viagra drive me nuts.
The other day I passed a fancy new restaurant in the West Village from whose windows camera bulbs were popping with lightning intensity. I assumed there was a fancy-pants magazine photo shoot in progress and peeked to see who was posing. A model? An actress? SJP? Wrong. It was a chicken dish, bathed in professional lights, the center of attention for a team of attendants who were hovering off to the side, waiting to attend to the chicken’s every whim. A surreptitious little piece of tinfoil was propping up the chicken into a sexier, more angled pose, the poultry equivalent of a girl on the cover of Maxim arching her back and spreading her legs. Which is when it hit me—I’m really sick of foodies.
You know who I’m talking about: people who take pride in fetishizing food. Fussy eaters who glorify the transformation of nutrition into fashion. Foodie culture. Foodie bloggers. People for whom the opening of a new Mario Batali restaurant spurs the same excited panting as a dose of Viagra.
I remember the first time I heard a co-worker refer to himself as a foodie. It immediately irritated me. Was he implying that he appreciated food more than other people? That his love of eating was somehow more evolved than mine? Don’t all people love the thing we can’t live without? The word strikes me as absurd. It’s as if I called myself an “Airie.” Because I’m simply nuts for air.
Let me be clear: I really love eating and I love food. I think anyone who knows how to cook anything is a genius, and I always appreciate the time and love that goes into a home-made meal. And I love going to restaurants. I love menus and forks and appetizers and the anticipation of desserts. But I hate that foodies feel like every meal has to have the same wow-factor as their birthday blowjob. I once tried to make dining plans with a foodie friend and it took over ninety minutes to agree on a place that met all of her qualifications for ambiance, cuisine, and service. You would have thought we were negotiating Israeli borders.
I’m sick of the foodies who need every morsel that goes into their mouth to be a Picasso painting, a Giacometti sculpture, a Proust novel, evoking the world with each crumb. Foodies who need everything to be caramelized, sauteed in a blabla reduction, nested in a bed of shredded whatevers, served with a mushroom top hat and a julienne of leeks that have been knitted into a sequined scarf. It’s not that wonderful food doesn’t make me drool—I’m a bit of a St Bernard when I start thinking about cheese—it’s just the foodie chatter I can’t stand, the circle jerking in print and on an ever growing number of websites over this new place and that revamped old place, the obsessive fawning over such and such amuse-bouche, the kerfuffle over truffles.
The chicken in the restaurant window was treated like a celebrity rather than a meal, a potential threat to Kate Hudson in a “Who Wore it Better” face-off (although I acknowledge that this would be a fun face-off). But Food doesn’t need paparazzi. If stars are just like us, so are foodies. There isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t love to eat, and most likely those who are most enthusiastic about it are the ones for whom food is always a humble and scarce affair. In a few weeks, we’ll gather around the Thanksgiving table to be grateful as we chow down. I’m sure that, as usual, I will end up stuffing myself. There’s a fine line between loving your dinner because it tastes super awesome, and worshipping it à la the Golden Calf.
Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She is currently writing a screenplay for Universal Studios, as well as occasionally drawing animals for her best friend’s letterpress card company. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
Stars Celebrate the Super Bowl
The Daily Beast is dedicated to news and commentary, culture, and entertainment. We carefully curate the web’s most essential stories and bring you original must-reads from our talented contributors.
How Rich People Smoke Pot
Paul Schrodt is a writer living in New York City. He has contributed to New York magazine, Radar, and Esquire.com.
Moving Out of Cougar Town
Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
TV's Funniest Frenemies
Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
The World's Most Dangerous Comedian
Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
HarlDelos
Don't all people love the thing we can't live without?
The necessities of life come from companies like Archer-Daniels-Midland and Sara Lee. No wonder you're only grateful on Thanksgiving.
Great food is a gift from God. I'm grateful every day. I don't want to have someone "take it up a notch", I don't think that every meal should start out by sweating onions, garlic and celery in a saute pan, and I don't think every recipe ought to contain habenero peppers. On the other hand, I appreciate good food, prepared simply, by someone who understand the chemistry of the Maillard Reaction. I don't say grace before every meal; I say it with every bite.
Orobas
I was once a cook. I too enjoy good food and all the things that Foodies enjoy. But that kind of cooking is a kin to the Dark Side. Mango chutney, truffle infused grapeseed oil, etc. All of these things are to be appreciated within the context of the rest of life. One thing I learned is that the vast majority of Foodies are dilettantes, and that they aren't hapy with a meal unless they paid too much for it. Which was fine with my paycheck, but it made it harder everyday to make them happy.
This user is no longer registered.
n--Y--dsmntlrroomypantleg
Yes, finally, yes! I was also immediately irritated by a very good friend of mine who also declared he and his wife as "foodies." Somehow, it is a distinction that makes us regular folks who simply like to eat seem sub-standard. Its not irritating when someone has an ethical choice in terms of food, like vegetarianism or veganism, or a health requirement, or allergy issue. Foodies are generally finanically well-off enough to be foodies. There's no ethic involved--its purely snobbery and purely pleasure. Annoying! Thanks for writing this lovely rant!
breezie1
I don't understand why you have to refer to a birthday blowjob and a circle jerk in your article. Couldn't you find more intelligent references? I'm sick of lazy writers who can't write an article without a penis reference.
skunkworks
Great piece. Foodies are lonely douchebags. Can you imagine respecting someone who calls themselves an "art lover"? Be cook or be an artist; if you have nothing to offer but your connoisseurship then go work in an office park and then die, you insipid do-nothing.
fnht451
This article is silly. Everyone knows that you can't saute something in a reduction!
This user is no longer registered.
n--Y--tavallaiflatsix
What's wrong with being passionate about something you love? With this article, Ms. Klein is like the"too cool" girl in high school with dyed black hair who ridiculed the kids who collected stamps, played sports, or otherwise had interests outside of being a miserly teen.
In a cynical world full of passionless drones, I cherish those individuals who are genuinely excited about something...anything! They stay out of trouble and are generally much more interesting at a dinner party, for they have something other to talk about than themselves.
God bless foodies!
joshinia
Yes, yes, I agree that all the strained food metaphor and prandial prattle are annoying, but you've erected a straw man. Foodies don't necessarily crave food at the height of complexity, as any Italian will tell you simplicity is paramount. This is just how these people choose to use their spare time and discretionary income (real or credit-based). It's called a hobby. Of course it can be a very expensive avocation that drives a lot of consumption and therefore there is an escalation in coverage and language, over-reaching creativity, a clamor to join the feeding frenzy, and all the trappings of a capitalist and media driven culture shared by all endeavors: politics, business, sport, music, television, movies, and comedic rhetoric, etc., ad nauseum.
Jeanius
I think that there is a difference between the appriciation of food, that has a clear spectrum of bad (i.e. McDonalds) to Great (i.e. Mario Batali), and air which has no discernable difference to anyone at all. Foodies are annoying and should be called out as such, but so are bad writers who create poor analogies to fit their designed outcome. The birthday blowjob thing was pretty funny though!!!
acidandamnesty
Yes, skunk, connoisseurship be damned, whether it's art or food. Put Ferran Adria in a dark closet with a sterno can and put Richard Serra to work making quonset huts in the Yukon.
z911empire
...and since we're generalizing, you must be an insufferable egomaniac like anyone who "would like to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry." Barf.
You wrote the piece, you used the phrase birthday blowjob (quite well!), you're hot shit enough, don't worry.
I just wish you would've acknowledged that you can be really enthusiastic about food without being a power tool. You can read food blogs and be a huge fan of a famous chef because you treat cooking and dining out as a hobby, just like other people get wet about music, gossip, film, or like birdwatching or whatever.
bghnow
Funny, smart and right on target. Points up the difference between enjoying something and the enjoyment of the enjoyment of it.
Catch22
I find foodies excessively annoying too, but the same can be said for anyone else who happens to have a particular hobby/passion and takes to the level of elitism and snobbery. This happens to be something I have been accused so I can see how easy a trap it is to fall into, but my bigger problem with foodies and their elitism, really comes from one of the many annoying things Rachael Ray has to utter constantly: "we eat first with our eyes". Yes I know other people say but RR is annoying and inane to a level I didn't think possible. But no I cannot eat with my eyes and think it would be messy and dangerous to try. I eat with my mouth and I don't want to run up a $100 dinner bill because you can make food look pretty.
Thank you.
As a first time user, your comment has been submitted for review. It can take anywhere from a few hours to a day or two for your comment to be reviewed, depending on the time of week and the volume of comments we receive.