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My Sugar Daddy
Some might call it prostitution. I call it a "mutually beneficial arrangement" that pays for my killer wardrobe.
Mutually Beneficial Arrangement. That is the polite term that popular culture has coined for the type of relationship I’m in. Had one asked me if this was the sort of relationship I could see myself being involved in a few years ago, the answer would have been absolutely not.
I am a college student in suburban Pennsylvania. I grew up here, in an area called the Main Line. For those of you who have seen the movie The Philadelphia Story, you’re familiar with this nook of the country, where the blood is as blue as the sky, and the wealth as abundant. My family is composed of traditional Irish Catholic Republicans, a family in which sex and money are taboo topics that need not be discussed. But one thing my background has provided me is an invaluable tool for success: I was blessed to have been raised with class, sent to the best schools, and taught to be well-read, well-spoken, and well-traveled.
From the outside, a mutually beneficial, or sugar daddy, relationship seems immoral. Maybe even the distant cousin of—dare I say it?—prostitution.
But when I got to college, I spent the first two years straining for financial independence. I tried working, but in retail, surrounded by temptation all day, I spent more than I made. Waiting tables was exhausting. I went on several job interviews, but all of the internships were unpaid. As my years in college wore on, it was evident that the job market was sliding into decline. When the economic climate grew worse, my friends panicked that their resumes and high GPAs wouldn’t be enough to give them a leg up on the competition, and my goal became getting my foot in the door before everyone else.
And then, just such an opportunity presented itself. During my job hunt, I met a potential employer. He was in his early 30s, single, and successful. He didn’t hire me, but he did suggest a position that seemed perfectly suited to my attributes and skills: He proposed that he become my benefactor.
From the outside, a mutually beneficial, or sugar daddy, relationship seems immoral. Maybe even the distant cousin of—dare I say it?—prostitution. But truth be told, women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years.
There’s even a social networking website that connects sugar daddies and their beneficiaries. This man told me about it: SeekingArrangement.com. He had been referred to it by a close friend who was a hedge fund manager. At his urging, I logged onto the site and looked at his profile. It didn’t have a picture, for privacy reasons. But it did contain information: his marital status (single), the industry he worked in (media and communications), and—a key element—his salary (seven figures). I was encouraged by the fact that the website vets its clients and offers only Certified Sugar Daddies, whose tax returns have been carefully examined so you know what you’re getting. I also learned that he was attracted to bright, smart women—he wasn’t in the market for the dumb bombshell. His profile said he wanted more of “a Jackie Kennedy than a Marilyn Monroe.” I fit the type.
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The Sugar Daddy Replies
The writer is a college senior in Philadelphia majoring in journalism and economics, and is an intern at a public-relations firm. She hopes to work in broadcast journalism after completing a graduate degree. Melissa Beech is a pseudonym.
I've been there done this and used this site.
After leaving a career in broadcast news as a journalist, out of work, I was referred to the same site.
I have to say... it's a scary place to be, and the guys that use this site, a good majority of them are married even though they usually hide it from you very well.... not to mention... yes, I made the excuse that this was all fine and dandy and everyone should be doing it... but these guys have a certain disconnect from emotion..... that's really quite scary (although they always know how to say the right things - and at least make you feel like you're loved).
All I have to say is.. tread carefully... Dior and trips to Paris sound great (my mutually beneficial arrangement rented me an apartment next to Jacques Chirac in Paris for 4 months complete with chef, maid and expense account), but when he decides to throw you out.... and he will.... be ready to fall hard and almost feel as if you have to turn back to the extreme seediness of SeekingArrangement.com.
It's a scary place to be and one I don't ever want to go back to...
All I have to say is... AKA Melissa Beech... Beware.... for a hard and fast fall..... it will come... and have your family close at hand.
In this time of family togetherness it is important to remember how close you and your distant cousin (prostitution) really are.
Yeah its like pretty women only you start out thinking your classy. The part where you mention that the credentials are harder and harder to come by, well at least it didn't go completely unnoticed but I guess the whole attaining merit only applies if you are a complete sucker, I mean stooge my fault I'm trying to invoke the negative. By the by the whole foot in the door thing, everyone knows that a dudes loves to work with the 21 year old that cost them their marriage.
The author of this segment spent his college days a satisfying older cliental in a very dignified and loving matter; until the end of course, when he was told to get the F%^k out, in a loving manner.
P.S. Tell Bill O'Riely he's full of shit
gag.
5,000 a month is a pretty small amount of money, given the time you're spending in a relationship that demands so much of your time, and has no promise of becoming serious. And you've banked 12,000? Hello? This is all very low market--not that you should sell yourself to anyone for any amount of money. You need to figure out what your true value is. If you want to make money, there are thousands of legitimate ways to do it yourself. And think how great you would feel, if you were the one making that money.
Yeah, Yeah,yeah........But, can she Cook??
Dont hit your head, honey, you are in the shallow end
News flash: You're a prostitute.
$5,000 a month? Heck, Ashley Dupre makes that in one night.
Melissa, you're not just a prostitue, but a cheap prostitute.
Nice rationalization, though.
What a shame! while millions of women are working hard to get some respect, equality, etc, Sugar Babies like this one has a place in the news..wow!
I guess all those reality shows like The Bachelor and My Super Sweet Sixteen have paid off! We now have a generation of completely awful women who will prostitute themselves for the "it bag" rather than pay their dues and know what it is like to earn their own success. Hope you're real pretty, honey, because seems like you've got no sense, dignity, or class.
The very fact that you feel the need to use a pseudonym to publish your story says everything that needs to be said, and belies all the rationalization you offer in this article.
Yes, it is hard to go to school and hard to work at a "regular" job, but at least when you do that, you have learned how to work for what you get and be able to be proud of how you got there, instead of having to pretend it's something other than what it is. Personally, I'll take self-respect and dignity over all the Christian Louboutins and Chanel bags in the world.
I have to wonder if the people who've given you internships and opportunities are aware of what type of "relationship" you have with your benefactor. If they do, don't be surpised if all those opportunities dry up the instant you are no longer his employee.
Ah, it is so nice to see that there are still whores out there with the delusions of love! Makes you think back to the days of Pretty Woman, when a whore makes good. Cheers! Oh, by the way, my guy friends are looking for a good stripper. Know anyone?
"I spent more than I made.... waiting tables was exhausting...all of the internships were unpaid...the job market was sliding into decline..."
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Intelligent and hard working people find ways to overcome life's obstacles. It's called being a grown up. Whatever connections this "benefactor" can offer will be wasted on you until you learn the value of hard work.
I love the part about this not being prostitution because "women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years." Evidently the idiom "the oldest profession" is lost on her. While this certainly should be your choice, one can only imagine the implosion that occurs when it is over. After living in the middle east for several years, I recognize the "killer wardrobe" as the same self justification of the Chanel Hajab-ed girls who are willing to give up freedom for baubles. Maybe he will exchange your driver's license for a chauffeur?
It's unfortunate, but I expect to see "Melissa" in a future episode of any of the "Real Wives of..." shows, as she sounds addicted to the arrangement, and the financial benefit she reaps. It's nice to be a "kept woman", but at the price of your dignity?
Sounds like she has the makings of a perfect PR flack. At least she's picked the right career paths for her talents.
So... rich men have found streamlined ways to pay attractive college girls for sex while simultaneously preparing them for them for inappropriate sexual relationships with their supervisors down the road. Way to go Melissa! Good use of your natural talents and ingenuity to beat out more qualified, but less attractive, competition. You're really charting new territory for women trying to legitimately climb the career ladder. I imagine you will be taken seriously in your endeavors.
You're young, you'll get your degree, then a fine job. All this will be in your past. You'll get married, hopefully to someone you'll feel comfortable to talk openly about your past with. Don't worry about the hissing from the other posters. You'll be fine.
A job is a job is a job. It is still a "job" even when your married at times. Some trade their "wares" for money and some trade it for a ring.
BUT the majority of women who stop "sharing" as often as they did while they were on the hunt HATE woman willing to give men (their men) what they don't want to have to give any longer. Like a friend told a woman whose husband had left her for someone else....you have to deal with your part of the problem because the majority of men? don't stray if the wife is willing to be an active participant in a good sex life...and that means more than pulling up the old t shirt and laying there.
I say good for you! You took something of value that YOU own and used it to your advantage. If you can advoid the emotional pit falls and handle it when it is over? Good for you!
The people on here that are ugly about it? Are the same ones trying to ban books, tell you if you can have an abortion and want to tell you why your going to hell in their opinion....nut jobs to be avoided.
Why can't we create a civilization where people can get educations and opportunities without having to F your way to the top (of what, really..). And yes, what zampano said - women who work their a$$es off - like me - often get passed over for daddies little hottie. Just to let you know, though, Melissa, sometimes WE do win the position or the raise through something you will never have. Work Ethic and 100 other skills your sugar daddy can't teach you. Some things can only be learned by waiting tables and hating every minute of it.
Wow, look at all the haters who have left catty comments. It's amazing how many people in our supposedly advanced & modern society still look down upon prostitution. How is it that a natural bodily function that we all perform regularly is for some reason still taboo to be paid for? You've no problem paying someone to clean your teeth or perform a colonoscopy, both of which have them going into your body for something less natural than sex, but you still object to paying for sex?? Honestly--if you look at it objectively, it truly makes no sense that what "Melissa" is doing should be shunned. If anything, I admire her. One of you posted "Intelligent and hard working people find ways to overcome life's obstacles", but that's *exactly* what she's doing. The job she's performing requires intelligence or her benefactor would not have hired her. And while what she does sure sounds like a lot of fun, remember that she put limits on it when it would interfere with her schoolwork or career, both of which she's still working towards. In fact, Melissa would have had to be stupid to *not* accept the rare opportunity that life presented her with. Methinks all the "holier than thou" responses she's getting here are unwarranted and undeserved.
Miss Beech is a mistress.
Melissa, I feel sorry for you. I was educated on the Main Line, and with my liberal arts degree sloged through many underpaid jobs in world capitals, living behind KFC restaurants with no phone or clothes dryer, sharing a bathroom with 6 people, but refreshingly not feeling compelled to screw anyone in particular. Socializing on a budget makes you realize that you can have a great time with great people regardless of cash flow. Now I make a lot more money, but I really appreciate what I can buy with it (because I once could not buy much), plus I don't have to panic as my looks fade and the 'arrangement' I am able to reach with some random man is less and less favorable to me. You will never have my stories about scrounging to share at cocktail parties, and you will never have the confidence that you CAN make it with little or nothing because you will never have done it. BTW the unhappiest period of my life was being married to a very controlling very successful man, who I did not hesitate to dump because I knew I could do without the beach house, the bling, and the seven figures in the bank. You will never know whether you can do without it until much later in life, and hard lessons are much harder to learn after 30, my chickadee. I hope your looks last as long as possible because when they are gone, you will be very bitter about how you are going to have to live.
Ktappe--how do you know that this job "requires intelligence"? Nowhere in this article is that aspect mentioned, other than in the author's own subjective claims that she has been "sent to the best schools, and taught to be well read, well spoken and well traveled".
This girl is trash, but in a way, we should all be thankful for girls like her, as they make the true WOMEN in the world--hard-working, decent women who gain success thanks to their intellectual merits as opposed to selling their bodies--look even more beautiful in comparison.
magicmary,
I agree with you! Those of us who have to work our asses off to pay for college (and a lifetime of paying off the difference in loans) have learned and grown from those experiences. In many ways that is the tougher and more rewarding learning experience, and I like to think that we eventually outpace people, like Ms. Beech, who rely on the (symbolic or literal) bosom with which the were arbitrarily blessed.
Thank you.
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