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Old Is the New Sexy
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The Daily Beast's Susan Cheever talks to Last Chance Harvey's Emma Thompson about sexuality, her biological clock, and why being in love is like being dead.
When Dustin Hoffman first makes Emma Thompson laugh in the romantic comedy Last Chance Harvey, it’s as sweet and passionate as any Romeo and Juliet moment…except for one thing. Hoffman (Harvey), 71, and Thompson (Kate), 49, are old enough to be Juliet’s grandparents.
Stuck in an airport bar—he’s missed his plane, she’s missed her life—they connect like the last two people on earth: fearlessly, freely, flirtatiously. They’re too tired to pretend. Hunched over her sad glass of single-girl Chablis, she’s alluring to him in her aging state, if only because she doesn’t have much to lose.
There’s a freedom to even the loneliest old age that can be more romantic than the driven, find-me-a-life-partner focus of the young.
So…is old the new sexy? This was my first question to Emma Thompson when we sat down to chat for The Daily Beast. “I think it’s very sexy because of course you know so much more when you’re older,” she says. “There’s a myth that young people go around saying ‘La la la! These are the best days of my life.’ I think that’s bollocks. I think young high-achievers are particularly miserable. We’ve been told that it’s all somehow over at 30.”
Thompson told me she took on the role of Kate in part to help expand our definition of erotic. “We’re very childish and primitive in our sexual relations with one another,” she explains. “I think we’re very underdeveloped. [I hope] this stretches people’s imaginations a little bit or invites them into not the usual paths, not the usual emotional paths.”
Last Chance is the tale of two of self-pities—Harvey’s daughter has asked her stepfather to replace him at her wedding; Kate is on her way to spinsterhood and caring for a hysterical mother—and it shows that there’s a freedom to even the loneliest old age that can be more romantic than the driven, find-me-a-life-partner focus of the young.
If the movie is to be believed, 40-something has suddenly become the most attractive age a woman can be.
The theory is this: Women in their 20s are looking for a financial help to allow them to afford a comfortable life, and women in their 30s are searching for someone to impregnate them before it’s too late. Only a woman in her late 40s can actually, at last, be interested in what turns her on. And she can be funny about it, too—especially if, like Thompson’s Kate Walker, she’s just been on a blind date that forcefully reminds her of the heedlessness and connection of the young. Especially if the part of the aging old bat is played by Thompson, an actress so irreverent that she keeps her two Oscars in the bathroom, and who brings wit and force to a role that many actresses might have turned down.
Perhaps Thompson took the part because she knows the mathematics of aging and biology firsthand. Married to fellow actor and director Kenneth Branagh at 30 and part of a famous, golden couple, she found herself running out of time. “When I started to suspect that I couldn’t have children,” she says, “my first marriage was already in trouble. I couldn’t start thinking about it until I was 35; and that was already pretty late. So the result of that meant I had my first child when I was 40.” (She and her second husband, actor Greg Wise, had their daughter in 1999, four years after her divorce from Branagh.)
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Susan Cheever is the author of numerous works of fiction and nonfiction including American Bloomsbury, My Name is Bill, Note Found in a Bottle, As Good as I Could Be, Home Before Dark, and Treetops. She is a Guggenheim Fellow, a director of the Corporation of Yaddo, and a member of the Author’s Guild. Cheever teaches at the Bennington Writing Seminars and at the New School.
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Susan Cheever is the author of numerous works of fiction and nonfiction including American Bloomsbury, My Name is Bill, Note Found in a Bottle, As Good as I Could Be, Home Before Dark, and Treetops. She is a Guggenheim Fellow, a director of the Corporation of Yaddo, and a member of the Author’s Guild. Cheever teaches at the Bennington Writing Seminars and at the New School.
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Susan Cheever is the author of numerous works of fiction and nonfiction including American Bloomsbury, My Name is Bill, Note Found in a Bottle, As Good as I Could Be, Home Before Dark, and Treetops. She is a Guggenheim Fellow, a director of the Corporation of Yaddo, and a member of the Author’s Guild. Cheever teaches at the Bennington Writing Seminars and at the New School.
Let's see - she is 49 and is "old" and he is 71. Looks like the same old hollywood story to me. Couldn't they find an "old" 49 year old male actor she could fall in love with? Or was he too busy with the 21 year old daughter? Nothing new here.
"Aging old bat"?! Please. Was that supposed to be a wry commentary on the way the world sees women around 50?
Not only is such a character plenty capable of delicious romance (including lust), but a man 22 years OLDER than her would see her as a hot young chick.
I just remarried at 53, and it was stunningly easy to find dates -- even with younger men. I want to see Hollywood make the movie about the 50-year-old woman who has to fend off the advances of guys in their 30's because they're just too young and boring.
First it was "never trust anyone over 30", then it was "30 is the new 20", then "40 is the new 20", and now "old is sexy". I can't wait until "dead is the new sexy", then maybe we can finally rid ourselves of this most-selfish of all generations.
Ditto and bravo to sandrac. Hoffman is actually old enough to be Thompson's father - why should she get involved with a man whose life expectancy is decades shorter than hers? How about a sequel in which she ends up nursing him during her golden years? Give romantic heroes women partners their own age.
I had a friend who married for the fourth time (no kids yet) at 66 to a 26-yr-old hottie, and proceeded to father two girls. Unforunately he died a few months before the second baby was born but he really was happy about the babies.
I'm with sandrac and olgafavreau. Why isn't Helen Mirren or Jane Fonda or Meryl Streep playing the love interest of Dustin's character instead of an actress 22 years younger? And as jblum8156 points out, the failure of older men to acknowledge their mortality leaves children they have in their 60s, or even 50s, at a significant risk of having a childhood without a father - very selfish (and delusional) of these men indeed and why are we as a society indulging them?
sandrac, you are right on! This is an astounding bit of nonsense applauding the same old story from Hollywood. I don't know how old you are Susan Cheever, but you've got a lot to learn about how to support women of all ages. At 49, I would never have dated a man in his seventies--creak, creak. I would barely date a man in his fifties as I was actively involved with men 10-12-15 years younger. And I'm no great beauty, not am I an exception to what is going on in the world, but I love men who are actively engaged in the world mentally and physically and whose minds are not closed to new ways of thinking about age, love, and sex. The absurd view espoused in this blog must have been meant to provoke discussion. Personally I think women need to boycott films that continue Hollywood business as usual and show support instead for women-produced and directed films that show the full breadth of women's capabilities.
How old are you that 49 is 'aging'? And since when is a 22-year age difference romantic? I am sure that the film, with the glorious Thompson and the charming Hoffman, is poignant and sweet, but I would really like to see more stories about people over thirty who are reasonably close in age. Let's face it - the much older man getting the younger 'hottie', whatever their respective ages, is largely a male fantasy. When was the last time you saw a popular movie about a woman over 50 being rewarded with perfect romance for getting involved with a 22-year old man? When was the last time you had lunch with women over fifty who were actually hoping to get involved with a twenty-year old boy? Younger, why not? Thirty years younger? Why in the world? Maturity is an advantage, and it's a shame that we haven't got more films out there that celebrate mature people managing to find love, romance and sex, and to avoid the most stupid gaffes inexperience and youthful selfishness cause, with partners about the same age. Any takers?
Too tired to pretend? Because she's "old" at 49? Because she's "missed her life" as you describe? I can only hope Ms. Cheever that when you reach the "ripe old age" of 49, and having become an even more beautiful, accomplished and intelligent woman than you are at your present age, you will not only be too tired but too dignified to countenance a romance with a wizened 71 year old man who will have no business looking in your direction. That should have been the long and short of this review.
If you want to see old guys with young women, drive to Lake Tahoe... and, in Hollywood, even if you are "old", you don't LOOK old, due to cosmetic surgery!
I think Emma Thompson has two Oscars...not five.
Emma Thomas is a doll and sexy,I am 61 and like to dream.
SPINSTER? I haven't heard THAT word in ages. And here I was, hoping it had just gone out of style...
MS. Cheever: using a word like this is DISGUSTING.
According to Wikipedia, Susan Cheever was born in 1943, thus making her 65 -- considerably older than Emma Thompson or the character she plays in this movie.
I can only imagine that Cheever was trying to be provocative. Maybe she should date Dustin.
I love the story in this movie.I can not wait to see it,i think,sexiness is for adults.
Most annoying article ever. For all the reasons mentioned. Lucky for Emma Thompson, she goes home to her equally sexy, slightly younger partner, Greg Wise. The two of them are hotter than ten Kenneth Branaghs (or Dustin Hoffmans for that matter).
I think everyone is taking this MUCH too seriously. I'm 62 and romantically very in love with my husband. I LIKE that Emma Thompson represents older women in this movie, and I think that Dustin Hoffman is spunky and clever. Watch the preview. Then please lighten up. There are serious issues out here that are much more important to fight for. This one is extremely minor by comparison.
I turned to this article because I admire some of the work of Thompson. The film's premise is well recycled in Hollyweird. Several permutations and plotlines or plotless .... the city just keeps churning them out. As to perceptions of who or what is sexy/lusty in any age demographic .... is a very subjective thing.
I by no means think 49 is the end of your life. I do find it beyond obnoxious that whatever age a woman is, her mate in a movie is automatically allowed to be 20 years older and not be considered too old for her, but the opposite NEVER works in Hollywood unless it's part of the storyline. However, I take offense to countless "older" people trying to extend some kind of a faux golden time by even saying "fifty is the new forty" and the like. Sorry. That's not the case and we women know it. When I was in my twenties NOT ONCE did I look to a man for support. In fact, to my own discredit, I supported more than one man trying to live his Peter Pan music or artist dreams while I made ten times the money whilst living my own writing dreams out. I wasn't happy with my personal life, but my professional life soared. In my thirties now, all of a sudden I am supposed to be the target market for wrinkle fillers? Are you kidding me? I realize the gold standard is the IDEA of youth, which is why all these "older" women are trying to LOOK and even absurdly change the very fact of their actual ages by saying it's the new whatever is younger. Madonna has morphed into the most unsavory cat-like being now, with a face that shows no character, no emotion, not even the hint of life. She is a mannequin. And by dancing onstage like some poor imitation of a superhero robot, we are supposed to believe she is forever young, sexy, relevent and the ideal. Yuck! Please! I believe there is a grace to accepting certain things in life. There is no need to make a spectacle of oneself simply because you're in denial over a number or because you want to appease Hollywood. I no longer wear toe rings, I no longer put bleach in my hair to try to out-blonde the next girl, I know my body flaws and work with them and do the best I can with nutrition and healthy living instead of either going under the knife or spending four hours a day trying to outsmart them, I no longer frequent bars and pose for pictures with ridiculous expressions of somehow "living it up" because that's not where I am at. I have MATURED. I don't need to be the new twenty. I know where I am headed is a mystery, but that's okay with me. I'm not going to fight it by simply trying to look like a doe-eyed ingenue. And, thank God, I do not walk around begging for anyone and everyone to "impregnate me", thank you very much. This whole article, including the fact the author actually USED THE WORD "SPINSTER" IN IT makes me happy I didn't live up to the cliches people like this created for me when I was a supposed apathetic twenty-something with no direction (while i was in fact supporting myself and those around me) and even happier that I refuse to live up to them now.
Writinglife, the length of your post and it's self obsessed tone could be very good indications of why your personal life is in shambles. I can understand why you would have to support your men to get them to stick around. You would definately have to give me lots of money to put up with your bitterness.
As far as this article, it is a joke. It is about a movie about old people doing it written by an old lady trying to convince herself that people think old is sexy. Gross!!! This sounds worse than that disgusting Jack Nicholson / Diane Keaton movie about old people doing it. Yeah Keanu Reeves doctors can't help themselves but to lust after Diane Keaton!!!! Sorry to hurt your feelings, but as previously mentioned, the male lead is 20 years older than her (which is common in Hollywood) and the fact that it is never the other way around confirms that old women aren't hot. Sexy? Maybe in an old cougar creepy kind of way.
I guess that is just payback for all the beautiful women that can skate through life on nothing but their looks when they are 20 allowing themselves to be treated as an object and getting whatever they want. Then when the object isn't shiny and new and they have nothing left to offer they get dropped like a bad habit at 30.
Now, the gentlemen like me who hit 30, are still in good shape, actually look better than we did at 20 and date a young beautiful object just like we did at 20 get a little payback. Please support my call to ban viagara and save the world from all these 'old people doing it' movies!!!!
HA!!! I just watched that clip and Dustin Hoffman actually looks younger than her!!! She looks way too old for him.
I'm 48 and I would never go out with a man as old as my dad who is 72. There are tons of actresses in their late sixties and seventies who could have played that role, much as I adore Emma Thompson.
It's like that ridiculous movie with Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson and Keanu Reeves. And Diane Keaton gives up Keanu for Jack Nicholson. Yeah right. (Ok, I know Keanu is a bit boring but still).
It's not in my interest to go out with a man much older than me, for the likelyhood is that he will die before me. Then I will spend the end part of my life as a widow.
I have nothing original to comment here except to note how many comments this article has already received. Fascinating. Maybe Hollywood should listen. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who was truly annoyed with Diane Keaton ending up with Jack Nicholson in Something's Gotta Give.
Based on the comments so far, it seems like the film makers may have a marketing problem. This film is likely targetted to a female audience 35 , but the combination of a vital 49 year-old paired with a senior citizen aged 71 doesn't sound too appealing to most of us.
I agree that this could have been more interesting with actors closer in generation - Jane Fonda & Hoffman perhaps.
I'm new to the Daily Beast and am impressed at the level -- and type -- of commentary here. I'm used to the agism and sexism of sites like Salon and HuffingtonPost -- in spite of the fact that both are headed by women over 40. What a nice change to see that this is the default mode, at least in this letters thread, not a cry in the dark.
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