How to Wreck a Home

Your email has been sent.

Thanks for recommending The Daily Beast!

X Close

Perez Hilton on how celebrities should cheat, and what happens if they get it wrong. Plus, read a Q&A with Hilton.

If you steal a mate, do it right! Angelina Jolie appears to be a real-life home wrecker. She’s a total beyotch who has a thing for married men, and I still love her. We all still love her. We probably love her more now than before, even though she and Brad were allegedly having an affair during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She pulled it off in true hilton style. On the other hand, Claire Danes wrecked both a home and her reputation. She started going out with Billy Crudup while he was with Mary-Louise Parker, who was seven months pregnant, and I instantly started hating her. Claire got hers—they broke up soon after, and what has happened to her life and career since?

Obviously, it helped in Angelina’s case that Jennifer Maniston wasn’t pregnant. It also helped that Angelina had recently adopted a child from a third-world country. So if you’re going to steal someone’s man, you’d better be the hottest woman on the planet, and you’d better save the world and all its children while you’re doing it.

Read Hilton’s Daily Beast interview: “My motto is, you’ve got to give head to get ahead.”

Britney Spears snatched Kevin Federline from a pregnant Shar Jackson and married him in September 2004. Jackson says the truth came out only after he flew abroad for a commercial—which became an extended trip with Spears. For some reason, Shar doesn’t get the sympathy I would expect. People should like her more; it's not her fault she got screwed over by Britney. But you know what? Look what happened to both Britney and K-Fed since then. Karma can be a real bitch.

Julia Roberts snatched Danny Moder from his wife, and she married him just two months after he got the divorce! Of course, she got her little twins out of the whole deal, so you can't hate her too much. I don't know what Danny's ex-wife looks like, but how can you compete with Julia Roberts? Julia sweearrss Danny's marriage to his ex was already over when she got involved with him. Okay, well, that settles it!

In May of 2007, Criss Angel and Cameron Diaz spent a random few weeks together. Unfortunately, Criss Angel had an estranged "secret" wife, Joanne Sarantakos. Joanna claimed in court that a romance between the Mindfreak and Cameron occurred during their five-year marriage/fifteen-year relationship. "We're naming Cameron Diaz as his lover," attorney Dominic Barbara said on behalf of Sarantakos. Diaz's rep issued a statement that stated she and Angel first met more than a year after he split with his wife, and went on four dates, and had no current relationship. This guy is star fucking the whole way. It was smart for his career he did it again later with Britney Spears. Getting with Cameron Diaz really put this guy on the map. After that, he was able to leverage a $75 million Cirque du Soleil deal at Luxor in Las Vegas.

Jude Law cheated on fiancée Sienna Miller with his nanny, Daisy Wright. After Law proposed on Christmas 2004, Sienna told reporters, "I'm the happiest girl alive." But in reality, they were off and on after the infidelity, and they split for good in November 2006. The weird thing, the scandal was the best thing to happen to Sienna. Instead of being Jude Law's girlfriend, she became Jude Law's ex, Sienna Miller, whom he cheated on. It took her up a notch. Next thing you know she's spotted with Orlando Bloom frolicking around the enchanted wood.

Perez Hilton is a blogger, author, and media personality. The above is excerpted from his new book, Red Carpet Suicide.

December 19, 2008 | 6:22am