Admitting I'm a Christmas crackhead is the first step on my road to recovery. Just don't tell my dad—the rabbi.
Most likely, I’m going to hell. Not just to the heated nether regions where rank and file thieves, crooks, and Republicans hang out. If only I was so lucky. Instead, I’ll be bypassing the guest entrance to the devil’s playground and be sent, first-class, through the VIP ropes to where Beelzebub and his sidekick Andy Dick hang out.
The story of my sin is riddled with guilt, regret, and the occasional Communion wafer. But I feel a confession is in order.
I went Episcopalian, tried out Catholicism, and spoke in tongues with the Pentecostals. I broke from the tradition of my biblical ancestors —Abraham, Isaac, Joe Lieberman.
I’m an addict and they say the first step on the road to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. So here goes: For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Christmas crackhead. I’ve got a Santa fetish that is bordering dangerously close to Fatal Attraction levels. But, alas, I come with a little extra baggage.
You see, I’m a rabbi’s son. Not just any rabbi’s son, but the rabbi’s son. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I took everything you taught me, flushed it down the toilet, and bought a pine fir hoping it would bring me spiritual nourishment. Wait, it gets better. I married the daughter of a former Methodist minister and spent the past year gallivanting through 52 different churches. Move over, Andy Dick.
I had become the proverbial apathetic man of faith. I went through the ritual motions of an Orthodox Jew, but was lacking one key ingredient: spirituality. I’m not alone. Most American Jews do not even attend synagogue on a regular basis. But church parking lots, especially where I live in the Bible Belt, are packed each Sunday. What were they doing in there that was so much fun? Maybe I could go – just once – and tap into that spirituality. Be inspired, get jazzed about my Judaism, and then hightail it out of there. Maybe hanging out with Jesus would make me a better Jew.
For years I had looked longingly at the church across the street from my childhood home, its pristine landscape looming just outside my bedroom window -- my snake, my apple, my Garden of Eden, all wrapped into one. While I was tied down by the myriad restrictions delivered by God and my almighty father (keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath, the whole megillah), I assumed my Christian counterparts led an easier life, one not choked by the yoke of faith. What’s more, Judaism’s deed over creed theology and dirge-like prayer services were blocking that ray of sunshine from the religion across the street.
That festering jealousy and religious bi-curiosity brought me to the door of my first church last year. I figured I could handle it. Just once, I justified. And besides, I could stop whenever I wanted to. (You know, like Obama and his smoking habit.) The first temptation, a large Baptist megachurch with 15,000 members, certainly lived up to the hype in my head. Like an addict getting his first whiff of a potent new drug, I needed more. And so I went Episcopalian, tried out Catholicism, and spoke in tongues with the Pentecostals. I broke from the tradition of my biblical ancestors – Abraham, Isaac, Joe Lieberman.
A full-blown addict, last December arrived and I was knee-deep in Jesus. I gave in to my primal impulses and went to a showing of The Nutcracker. I don’t even like ballet, but I was hooked from the first pirouette. The pageantry continued when I attended the tree-lighting service at a nearby Presbyterian church. After a few opening songs, we broke up into small groups and hung wreaths and garlands and tinsel (oh my).
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Benyamin Cohen is the author of My Jesus Year: A Rabbi’s Son Wanders the Bible Belt in Search of His Own Faith (HarperOne). He can be found at www.myjesusyear.com.
Is spirituality going to synagogue or going to church and praying to a figurehead whether once alive or just conceived. Or is spirituality understanding we are all humans, treating each other fairly, honestly, and with respect,and true concern, whatever their economic scale, or their intellectual level,race, gender or background. I'll take the later.
When Thomas Merton, who later became a Trappist monk and wrote dozens of books, including "The Seven Story Mountain" was a Columbia undergraduate and dabbling in Buddhism he asked a Buddhist monk for spiritual reading. The monk gave him a copy of a medieval Christian text and explained that he would need to find the deeper meaning of his own cultural tradition, not look in a different one. You have done that and it brought you to the place where you started (to paraphrase T.S. Eliot) and know it for the first time.
Peace to those of good will.
Eva Arnott
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I recall that the hierarchy of the Italian Church long had an inspirational adage to the effect that from the perspective of Christ like generosity, care for the poor, self restraint, sober moderate living and devotion to family, the best Catholics in Italy were the Italian Jews.
Ben you and your readers may wish to check out Pope Benedict's long response to Rabbi Jacob Neusner's book "Rabbi Talks with Jesus". Pope Benedict's response included in his own recent book " Jesus of Nazareth" move Rabbi Neusner to suggest they collaborate on a book on this topic. I think Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict) might have taken Rabbi Neusner up on that offer 10 or 20 years ago...
Anyway, next time you light your Chanukah candles Ben remember that the only Bible that includes that story of e Chanukah is the Catholic Bible. And see John 10:22-23 because Jesus celebrated Chanukah too. ;-)
A lot of Christians believe that since God is compassionate, he wouldn't deny heaven to Muslims or Hindus who grew up in different cultures where Christianity wasn't the norm.
However, just to be clear; that is absolutely not what the Bible says. According the Bible, if you haven't embraced Christ as your personal savior, you don't go to heaven -- and just to be clear, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, etc, etc, have most certainly not embraced Christ as their personal savior.
Now, does that mean I'm saying all those people go to Hell? No, I'm not. Deciding who goes to heaven and hell is above the pay grade of mere mortals -- and that includes me, and everyone else who's a Christian.
So, just to be clear, if you're a Christian, you can certainly "hope" that God allows people into heaven who don't share your beliefs, but you should be very aware that isn't what the Bible says. Your Salvation depends on you personally studYing the Bible and comming to the conclusion of what you must do to be saved.
Any person on the face of this earth can be saved and spend eternity in Heaven by:
1.Hearing or studying the word of God.
2.Beleiving with true faith that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God.
3.Repent for the remission of your sins.
4.Confess that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God.
5.Be baptized (submerged in water) in the name of Jesus Christ for forgiveness
of your sins.
6.Keep the commandments with Love in your heart.
7.By the Grace of God you will be saved.
WHO GOES TO HEAVEN; Is a topic that Christians ought to search for themselves and decide what the Bible teaches as you would on any other subject. Each person is responsible for their salvation and will be judged as an individal no matter which organization or religious affiliation you had before your death.
I love the nusach, the rituals, and the mitzvot, especially tzedakah, and the notion of evil not as a free-floating force but as a very human impulse it is in our power to resist and correct.
The problem for me is believing in the supernatural, the bottom line below which there is no bottomer. And the various secular Judaisms are no help, lacking as they do the kind of passion, pathos and urgency of the real thing, the God-centered thing.
Similarly, the organized Yiddisher kultur of community centers, which offer a diet pretty much limited to latke fry-offs, uncritical support for Israel and a determination to keep the memory of the Shoah alive in books, films and conferences as a substitute for the kinds of discussions of morality, ethics and history that are commonplace at Torah study sessions in synagogues every Shabbat morning.
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Bah, humbug.
Sounds entirely predictable.
There are diverse riches to be found in Judaism, including spiritual ones, if one moves beyond the Sunday school level. Would that more synagogues did so. There is a vast array of books available at every level, as well as spiritually satisfying havurah/independent minyan groups in many communities.
Most--perhaps all-- great religious traditions offer paths to spiritual meaning (and to communities of fellow seekers), if one probes beneath the surface. Sometimes exploring an alternative tradition will provide a new and liberating vantage on one's own, but it is hardly necessary (for most). While the paths (and nuances) may differ, there are some fundamental common truths. Not sure that applies to true believers in Ayn Rand, though. --The Wise Bard
Nice job. I think you hit the nail nicely with your observations that spirituality and religion are not ncessarily the same thing. Christmas in America is an opportunity to observe both the best and the worst about the season. I work in a middle-sized city in the poor minority neighborhood in a non-profit that helps kids. This city is known for the number of its churces and the high attendance there on Sundays. One of the middle-sized churces, not a mega church by any means, adopted my organization for the holidays. They provided Christmas gifts for each of the over two hundred kids we work with. They did it anonymously and for no return. The church folk find that this is one sort of Christmas consumption that doesn't leave them with indigestion.
I believe that one can believe 'in' a lot of things, but believing - simple believing God (higher power) - is a lot harder. People who put feet under their beliefs and try to make the world a better place have a lot more insight into spiritual growth than folks who show up for services and then go home and argue theology without pausing to recognize their own spiritual needs.
Nice to see another intellectual out there who gets it...
When I was a child, Christmas was all about getting what I wanted, i.e., the bike, the electronics, the game. Somewhere along the line, Christmas started to become more about giving others what they need and want. I suspect maybe that is the real key to true spirituality - giving and service to others. Now, if I can only expand that to the other 364 days in the year....
What I'm getting is that you are looking for truth and looking for it in ritual. Ritual will never satisfy the soul's longing for a personal, vital, joyful connection with the Creator, which is why Judaism is so unfulfilling for so many. What is truth? is Jesus Christ the Messiah foretold by the prophets?
Of course, truth not to be found in Santa or at the Nutcracker. There are so many worthy books out there for intellectuals looking for a deeper meaning of life. C.S. Lewis's books come to mind("Mere Christianity" is one suggestion) although there are so many others.
The worst thing to do is to stop seeking and to settle for a stale, arid ritual.
Regarding lightenup's comment: Most folks who go to synagogues or churches to pray are the ones who treat others fairly and honestly and with respect. (you may have to make an exception in California, where fakers are everywhere.) Beware of people whose only belief is in science and the almighty dollar!
@Benyamin,
Good for you for having the drive to dig a little deeper for meaning -- and doesn't that actually prove you an acorn from the oak above?
So you took a tour, you're now a lot smarter about the world around you. The prodigal son has returned and I'm sure your parents are thrilled you found your way back home. I am too because if you can find God and stay in your fold you'll derive additional strength from that continuity.
Human identity is so dependent upon being part of a group, and here is the source of so much human pain and misery: that group must be special, more blessed and apart from others who are viewed as a source of potential annihilation. Religion, economics, politics, nations. I don't know why, but this tribalism seems to be is as ingrained as any other major drive.
I hope the journey helped you to be more inclusive in your compassion and empathy.
Thank you.
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