Blogs and Stories
The Bag Lady Papers, Part IV
The news that Bernie Madoff remains free on bail is frustrating some Madoff victims—including The Daily Beast’s Alexandra Penney who is popping tranquilizers to cope. Here’s the latest entry of her ongoing blog for The Daily Beast.
J'Absolutely Refuse to let this afternoon's decision faze me. I'm sitting at my computer using Photoshop to work on images for a gallery show. They’re over-the-top pictures of blow-up dolls drowning in the azure pools of Palm Beach mansions. I'm doing what I love best for a few short hours—so eff Madoff right now.
I admit that sometimes it really pisses me off that he's not in chains in solitary, a single bare low-wattage light bulb hanging from a grimy cord, with a dirty toilet as his only companion. But I know I don't have the energy or the time to waste hating him or planning revenge scenarios. Still I'm sure I'll wake up at 4:46 tomorrow morning, and have to take an elephant tranquilizer to fend off bag-lady fears and get a few hours of sleep.
Why was I at the Four Seasons, some might ask, when I should be humbly trying to earn more money by writing a blog?
Last Monday, at around eight o’clock, I was visualizing the MF (aka the motherfucker) eating his personal chef’s gourmet dinner in his dandy penthouse. I, at that very time, was at the Four Seasons restaurant in New York dining on black truffles in a tuxedo jacket (vintage Armani) and white (of course) camisole.
Why was I at the Four Seasons, some might ask, when I should be humbly trying to earn more money by writing a blog, and madly typing out a proposal for a book deal? Well, my friend RP had emailed me, "do you want a FREE dinner that will help save the earth?" RP is a really good pal, and so, having nothing to do, and if I do nothing I get really anxious and need extra medication, I say, "Sure. It sounds like a good cause at a classy place."
During the cocktail hour, I notice, among the ladies, a conspicuous lack of large stones which glittered with such delicious abandon in those old pre-meltdown days. By the way, I got a phone message the other day from one of the big auction houses with a polished voice asking if I would like a "complimentary consultation on how to discreetly dispose of your jewels." This is the second such call. Puhleese. Excuse me, where did anyone get the idea I have such wonderful gems? EBay has always been my souk of choice, but I haven't really had time to sell stuff there. The call gives me pause however. Maybe, as one friend merrily suggested, I should try to “marry up.” Now if you think this is all narcissistic and delectably open to viciousness, please read on.
RP and I meet at the venerable Grill Room, where I'd had so many business lunches when I was a high-flying Chanel-clad editor—and where it costs nothing at all to be in awe of the superb Seagram building and the inimitable dining room with Richard Lippold's gravity-defying sculpture.
How Rich People Smoke Pot
Paul Schrodt is a writer living in New York City. He has contributed to New York magazine, Radar, and Esquire.com.
Justice Clinton?
As vice chairman of Public Strategies and president of Maverick Media, Mark McKinnon has helped meet strategic challenges for candidates, corporations and causes, including George W. Bush, John McCain, Governor Ann Richards, Charlie Wilson, Lance Armstrong, and Bono. McKinnon is co-chair of Arts & Labs, a collaboration between technology and creative communities that have embraced today's rich Internet environment to deliver innovative and creative digital products to consumers.
Fantasy Shopper
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
The Bag Lady Papers, Part VIII
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
The Bag Lady Papers, Part VII
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
perkins
God, this woman's writing sucks.
It sucks as much as her "art" requires blowing.
exploora
Hooray :)
dominus
Pardon my ignorance about matters like this but I can't help but wonder if there is any sort of class action suit that is being directed at the SEC. If not, why not? Best of luck and in the immortal words of John Wayne "Don't let those bastards get to you."
notafan
Perkins, I LOVE YOU!!!
notafan
Perkins, I LOVE YOU!
shariyn3
Don't let them get you down, Alexandra. If you have a library card, most libraries will send you the book through the mail. Do NYC subways have elevators? Anyway, good luck.
Seriously11
Perkins, god bless you!!!
audience
I like all kinds of writing and this is fun reading. It's the first
thing I go to when I see there is a new installment.
notafan
bitter almond should do the trick, Penney.
politicalpam
Your writing still sucks but you do seem more cheerful. I want to remind EVERYONE that the purpose of bail is to prevent someone from fleeing. It is not supposed to be a punishment. That will be dealt at the appropriate time.
exploora
I have a question, where are the account statements the fund I would assume sent, were they representative of the actual situation or misrepresentative of it.
What kind of statements were being issued? I am not saying to answer the question out loud, but answer the question to yourself.
If it were me, and I had statements which misrepresented the actual situation in the fund, I would use that as evidence that I was being misled. That is what you do in auditing assignments, look for evidence. The best cases have lots. You vouch, validate and reconcile. Of course I am simplifying it, and people can tear anything apart.
If it was me, I would start at the latest statement, and go backward, will be much easier possibly much more relevant than starting at the beginning and going forward. At the end you will probably want every piece of paper you have.
Have a system to organize that paper, and hang on to the paper, if it was me, I would do that. Don't lose your evidence. Your evidence is your case.
I would Start making piles if it was me. Maybe I would put my evidence in a brown envelope that I want to duplicate, then I would put that evidence in a binder, after it was duplicated.'
I would not give away original copies, if it was me I would make sure I duplicated all evidence, and if I did give any evidence to anyone I would want to make sure I had proof I did that.
This is not advice, this just what I would do if it was me, thank god it isn't.
I am going to starbuks :). I like Starbucks, I think MF was a good example of a rip off, Starbucks has a menu, you know what you are paying for and what you are getting for what you pay.
jainthorne
I had some sympathy for you with your first article. In fact, I still do, as I know this must be hard for you. But...I will no longer read anything written by you due to your use of "J'Absolutely" and "J'refuse". It's such bad writing and affected and pretentious. I have a french degree and have lived in Paris but would never use this silly form. It reminds me of the famous Miss Piggy quote--"Pretentious?!? Moi??" Thanks for the final laugh.
exploora
I meant to see I think MF was a good example of an ALLEGED rip off.
GAAS is supposed to be followed, and if it wasn't, I predict heads will be rolling.
Banjo1
I think it might be of some comfort to think about Bernie's "husband" in prison. Bernie won't have a choice in the matter, and when his looks go he will be passed on to another man with carnal needs.
exploora
I meant to say not see, I think MF was a good example of an ALLEGED rip off.
Thank you.
As a first time user, your comment has been submitted for review. It can take anywhere from a few hours to a day or two for your comment to be reviewed, depending on the time of week and the volume of comments we receive.