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The Wall Street Journal's Trillion-Dollar Error
Another way of looking at it: How many Bernard Madoffs would it take to swindle the US taxpayer out of $1.2 trillion? Let’s see… $1.2 tril divided by $50 billion is: 24 Bernard Madoffs. That’s a lot of Madoffs. The New York paparazzi would be hard-pressed to man that many stakeouts outside that 200 Upper East Side coops.
In stock-market terms? Well, last September 29, the stock market did a historic three-and-half-gainer-swan-dive of 777 points, for a loss of $1.2 trillion. (Total loss in 2008 was $6.9 trillion.) Do you remember September 29? Sure you do. Remember calling your broker and hearing how much you’d lost? That’s what $1.2 trillion feels like, physically. (Galvanic skin response + shallow respiration divided by the square root of the number of hot flashes.)
Another metric (how Alan Greenspan likes to put it) is as a percentage of GDP, or gross domestic product (the value of all goods and services that we produce in a year, not counting the illegal nanny and gardener). $1.2 trillion is about 8 percent of GDP—hmm, nearly 10 percent of the entire US economy. I’m not Paul Krugman, but that can’t be good.
You say you don’t want to hear any more? I’m a Deficit-Debbie Downer? I don’t blame you. I’ve been heavily sedated myself since October 9. That was the day the National Deficit Clock ran out of digits. Don’t worry—two more are being added! They’ll help the new clock keep up as we add $5.7 million to the national debt every minute of every day.
Mr. Obama—peace and blessings be upon his name—wants a “stimulus package” (trans: "spending bill”) of $800 billion. Well, heck, what’s a few more zeros? And if that doesn’t work, and the Chinese decide they don’t want to go on financing the national credit card anymore, we’ll just, I dunno, print some more money.
But not to fear. Our new president is bringing in some extremely smart people to deal with all this, like our new Treasury secretary, Timothy Geithner. How weird is it that on the same day The Wall Street Journal corrected its little error, we learned that Mr. Geithner owed $34,000 in back federal taxes. But it’s not such a lot of money, really. You might even call it chump change we can believe in.
Christopher Buckley’s books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. His journalism, satire, and criticism has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Esquire. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and the founder and editor-in-chief of Forbes FYI.
Correction: This article originally stated $1.2 trillion equals 200 Bernie Madoffs. It has since been updated to 24.
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Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
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Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
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Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
Two corrections:
First, I believe Dirksen used "Billion", not "Million" in his immortal quote.
Second 1000/50 = 20, so only 20 Bernies, not 200, are needed for a trillion.
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Spot on as usual. So, could you please explain to me why it is that we allow these bank folks to make soooo much money in the first place? They don't have to be technically bright, they use spreadsheets, software with apparently complete disregard for fundamental accounting and economics and etc., which others created. It irritates the snot out of me when they talk about their 'products' which are really just bundling of someone else's company, mortgage, retirement money or what have you into some investment 'vehicle' or let's just call it for want of a better name: ponzi scheme. BFD!
It is getting really annoying to hear that we want to go back to growing the economy when, as it turns out, we were NEVER really growing it in the first place. We were ponzi-ing it, as it were. We got these Wall Streeters getting money from us and people who actually really do sell a product or create something like, car manufacturers do, for example, have to beg and squeal like pigs for money.
It is really wrong to give the banks all this power; they can screw up the wazoo and then have absolutely nothing bad happen to them. The bunch of ponzers!! We have to pay them to hold our money in their bank, take our money out or pay a bill, pay for their glamour lifestyles and pay when they completely screw up everything while they say, we neeeeed to keep the good people. A snail without a brain could do a better job handling our economy or at least the same job but withouth the gigantic salaries, bonuses and egos!
I'm sorry, but is Chris Buckley a comic? He certainly is as ill-informed and uncomplicated as one. Based on this thing.
Math check: 1.2 trillion divided by 50 billion = 24. That's 24, not 200. Love your work, though.
Math check: 1.2 trillion divided by 50 billion = 24. Love your work though. Math SAT scores mean nothing.
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Keep it going, we all need to understand what has occurred and through your humor can digest how debilitating this will be.
Sure many can understand it terms of Madoff but maybe you need to add an anology for those who really will be repaying this like in the number of Xboxes, Uggs, Twin tips or Burton boards.... Truth in lending to a new level.
Small correction: that's 'rithmetic, not '...matic...easy to remember (4th grade nun): 'rat in Tom's house might eat Tom's ice cream'
Hmmm ... did we detect a teeny-tiny criticism of "Mr. Obama?" Careful...a little criticism here, a little there and pretty soon you'll have your groove back! (hope springs eternal)
Ummm, wasn't Dirksen's apocryphal remark supposed to be "a billion here, a billion there..."?
Guess the Journal isn't the only one confused about orders of magnitude.
Very funny, Mr. Buckley. Verrrry, werry funny.... 'rithmatic indeed. All this spending is completely unnecessary. Nothing less than a full metal Pork-A-Thon is going on in Washington. We know that's the case, especially now that Andrew Cuomo, America's Most Entitled, has recently lost interest in being NYS Attorney General. His achievements are the stuff of Legend, the plain text being already well beyond disappointment. Another Entitled Former Clinton Guy, who ran HUD straight into the ground.
How did Bernie Madoff slip beneath Cuomo's Radar? Don't tell me A.C. was asleep at the switch again. I guess we'll have to go with the proven unproven instead of the unproven proven. There may yet be a NYS Republican Senatorial Future ... for anyone willing to run in 2010. It shouldn't be too hard to beat the man that 'never knew'. He reminds me of the two year old child, his hands covering his eyes, while declaring ''tant see me'. Cuomo is from New York isn't he? It is astonishing how little he knows of his own State. Fresh Hell abounds and he's off tilting at Windmills in the Insurance Business, collecting chump change, while the multi trillion dollar fastball flys by undetected. Nice coup there Andrew. A multi trillion dollar fastball has been thrown right under the NYS Attorney General's chin and he seems completely unaware. Truly amazing. Yea, Andrew Cuomo in the U.S. Senate. There's change I can believe in ... I need a New Country.
Alan Greenspan WAS the smartest man in the room - too bad when they said it he was the ONLY man in the room.
Ask not what you can lose for your country; ask what your country can lose for you.
The economic slowdown (cough, cough) should solve the problem of building aircraft carriers we can't really afford. You see, because aviation companies won't get credit lines to build more aircraft, it will be harder for a Pentagon spokesperson to ready an explanation of the need for new aircraft carriers.
That doesn't mean we can trust the government not to build any more aircraft carriers. But, we can trust it to take its sweet time about providing effective and reasonable regulation of the financial industry.
What would constitute effective and reasonable regulation? We can't waterboard Bernie Madoff to learn all the ruses he used to fool the SEC -- heck, we can't even be sure he won't succeed with some fraudulent plea in a plea bargain.
Change I can believe in? Please leave twenty billion dollars in unmarked quarters for me with my obliging doorman.
DEPORT ALL ILLEGALS!
WHY ARE WE BANKRUPT
Thisis astounding and infuriating. Why isn't this in the papers?
Youthink the war in Iraq iscosting us too much?Read this:
Boy,was I confused. I have been hammered with the propaganda that itis the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us. I now find that to beRIDICULOUS.
I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that thereader gets sick of reading them.I also have included the URL's for verification of all the followingfacts.
1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments.
Verifyat: http://tinyurl.com/zob77
2.$2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegalaliens.
Verifyat: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html;
3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.
Verifyat: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word ofEnglish!
Verifyat: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html
5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchorbabies.
Verify at http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
6.$3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegalaliens.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
7.30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.
Verifyat: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
8.$90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the Americantaxpayers.
Verifyat: http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html
9.$200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegalaliens.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
10.The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, theirchildren, are going to make a hugeadditional crime problem in the US .
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html &nbs p;
11.During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds ofdrugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S fromthe Southern border.
Verify at: Homeland Security Report:http://tinyurl.com/t9sht
12.The National policy Institute, estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and$230 billion or an average cost ofbetween $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.'
Verifyat: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf
13.In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances to their countriesof origin.
Verifyat: http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm>
14.'The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One million sex crimes are Committed by IllegalImmigrants In The United States.'
Verifyat: http: // www.drdsk.com/articleshtml
Thetotal cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.
Are we THAT stupid?
Great humor...at a time we could use some. Debt? It seems that there were only a few lone voices of reason out there telling us how bad it was, but (wink, wink) we all surely knew what we were getting into, if not how far we were getting into it. It _seems_ that most economists and financial experts are telling us that we must spend our way out of this recession...these are the same people whose sage advice brought us to this point, so I'm not sure we should be listening to them. By raising your hands, if you oppose Obama's stimulus package, indicate if you refused to cash your the stimulus package checks of 2008? None refused. I thought so. I can't claim the high ground here since I received no such check, but would have cashed it if I had. But for those of you who oppose the upcoming stimulus package, if money is offered to you somehow, you'll still take it and you'll like it! We call this hypocrisy.
As for ScottRose, I doubt that the building of military hardware that we can't afford will be slowed by the economic slowdown. We couldn't afford these things before, yet we continued to spend on the military like drunken sailors. Virtually all states have an interest in building submarines, aircraft carriers, fighter jets or bombers, sending their children off to some country to kill and be killed, and you know how that goes. It appears that our economy is military based now. Trabant or Yugo, anyone? I don't see any move to reasonable regulation of our financial institutions. For his part, Bush, on his way out the door, seems to be willing hand these scoundrels more Federal money--it's not taxpayer money because (it's understood, by me at least, that) we cannot pay off and never will pay off the current national debt. Well, Bush can have his "legacy"; the problem is that the country is stuck with it as well.
I still have hope that Obama can get this country back on some reasonable course but, after 28 years of conservative-dominated economics and government, eight years (maximum) will not be enough. I believe it was Jack Germond who said, back in the 1990s, something to the effect, "we've always had nutcases in Washington, but at least they were nutcases who knew what they were doing". I'll settle for nutcases who know what they are doing.
JD92840: Go ahead and deport all the illegal aliens. Then get ready to pick your fruits and vegetables, muck out your own toilets, clean your your own workplace, do your own housekeeping and landscaping at home. The URL you provided is run by a bunch of xenophobic, white-nationalist, morons. Not a word is said about the economic benefits of hard-working and exploited immigrants. They live they way they do (poorly) so you live the way you do (comfortably). The negatives of illegal immigrants are exaggerated. Indeed, many negatives are positive...drug importation is a good thing. People in this country want (illegal) drugs and immigrants provide some of the drugs demanded by Americans. Furthermore, I'm really confused by your linking immigration issues with Iraq/Afghanistan war issues. These wars cannot be justified by saying "we can afford them". Boy, you're still confused!
Mr. Buckley, you always nudge a little insight into your humor. Love it.
As for JD####, you gave us only the debit side of the illegal alien equation. Many of the websites you reference badly overstate their cases; in most instances there's something there, but not that much.
Without immigration, legal or otherwise, our country will decline economically. We need immigrants for the labor force and for the market. The birthrate for U.S. caucasians is well under two; any growth we experience over the next two decades will come from immigrants, not from the locally grown. You can read Mike McConnell's (Bush's director of intelligence or some such) on the CIA's website.
Japan is practically shutting down because they have no immigration to speak of, and the birthrate is 1.6 for every two people. They're closing schools because there are no children to attend them. Without immigration, we will shortly be in the same situation.
A recent study demonstrated that Bounty does a better job than Brawny of mopping up foam around the mouths of hysterical xenophobes, even though the Brawny factory employs fewer undocumented workers.
First, have to say love Buckley...great article as usual
that being said all we hear about now is the deficit....funny how this subject has largely been ignored in the last 8 years (prior to GWB the US budget had a surplus for a couple of years) republicans told us: cut taxes, don't tax for the war (fund it -- or you are unpatriotic -- someone else will pick up the bill) etc, etc, etc...I love that all we hear about now is how much we are spending and how can that Obama character be thinking to spend more!!!!
I don't agree with the blank checks written to the financial companies (brilliant idea -- if you screw up we'll give you cash...money well spent) and I agree that in normal times we should not indiscriminately but things just starting to are get bad (I hate to remind that unemployed people do NOT pay taxes...so pretending that we can just put our head in the sand is ludicrous )
It is NOT a valid response in lieu of the number of people losing their homes, jobs etc to say: 'Ya, we are going to do NOTHING'
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Have to read Chris Buckley once or twice a week to keep a perspective - hilarious!
If you want to be truly "terafied", go to http://www.treasurydirect.gov/NP/BPDLogin?application=np where you'll see that the TOTAL public debt is over $10 terabucks. You can also enter dates to see how much the government's debt increased for any given time period.
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There is always good news. :)
17,575,150.000 Zimbabwean dollar = 1 US dollar
So if we went to Zimbabwe we could all be billionaires, and have lots of time to count our doodles :).
When I was growing up a millionaire was a big deal. Now, you must be a billionaire to really count. Question: Will the first trillionaire arise in my lifetime?
Thank you.
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