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Can't We All Be Friends?

by Isabel Wilkinson Info

Isabel Wilkinson
 
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Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston L to R: Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images; Mario Anzuoni / Reuters Who started the brutal online war between Anistonites and Angelinans? And why do they care so much?

A battle has been raging on Internet message boards, celebrity gossip sites, and Facebook forums and it’s getting ugly.

JENNIFER ANISTON—GET OVER IT!!!!!!! YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! STOP DWELLING IN THE PAST!!!

ANGELINA = ADULTERER, FREAK, BROTHER KISSER. KARMA'S A BIATCH!!!!”

“Next thing I know, I am literally lying on a bed as a teenager, closing my eyes, visualizing her, and you guessed it! I climax.”

This ancient struggle between devotees of Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is not about a piece of Holy Land, but it is no less passionate. After all, its roots lie in the breaking of one and possibly two commandments—the coveting another woman’s husband, Brad Pitt, and alleged adultery. And as with all great global conflicts, there are always new wounds. The most recent escalation came in October, when Jolie, referring to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the film she made with Pitt, told the New York Times: “…not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.” The comment spurred worldwide headlines: “Angelina Stabs Jen in the Heart,” and “Angelina Jolie: I Fell in Love with Brad When He Was Still With Jen.”

Then last month, in a brutal episode that had been anticipated for some time, Aniston’s latest film, Marley & Me opened opposite Pitt’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and earned the top spot in the box office for two consecutive weeks.

That same month, Aniston broke her silence over L’Affaire Jolie, telling Vogue that what Jolie had done was “really uncool” and admitting to Oprah Winfrey that she had expressed her rage for Angelina “as honestly as I could.” Then she appeared in GQ (in a piece called “Lordy, Lordy, This Woman is 40,” where she posed triumphantly, in nothing but a necktie.

It was on.

But who are these warriors so willing to deploy their Caps Lock keys in the name of their chosen people? And why do they feel such a need to commit Jen-icide or declare Angie-had on behalf of celebrities they will never meet? The Daily Beast contacted a few of the more fervent Anistonites and Angelinans to understand the motives behind the brutal and unnecessary conflict.

One passionate Anistonite is Rachel, a 21-year-old student in Orange County, California. When she wakes up, Rachel immediately checks her various e-mail addresses, MySpace and Facebook accounts, all dedicated to you-know-who. She responds to messages from different fans, and then checks all Aniston-related news. By 9 a.m., Rachel is in her college psychology class, but she’s not paying attention. “I average a ‘B’ in school,” she says. “I am totally focused on Jen.”

January 16, 2009 | 6:04am
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Comments ()

susumar

This is what they're teaching you to write about at the Columbia School of Journalism? Ask for your money back!

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10:39 am, Jan 16, 2009

RYNRGSDL

I can't believe I just read that.

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10:45 am, Jan 16, 2009

steff47

in till aniston moves on and growsup we will continue to hear how she was done worng. the marriage is over now get a life and some acting classes cause you stink

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10:49 am, Jan 16, 2009

Bulldoglover100

Gosh the gross stuff regarding Jen yet nothing even close for Angie....guess it tells us that perhaps the author is playing the same sick game these onliners play.....
Tell me Isabel..do you too climax when thinking of your idol Angie?

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11:23 am, Jan 16, 2009

Annabella7

That was so dumb.

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11:48 am, Jan 16, 2009

megnmac

This actually could have interested me. It didn't. There was no substance, no point, and definitely an absence of even handedness in coverage.

I guess I'm one of the annoyed people that wants everyone to move on - let Aniston be a grown woman not defined by one breakup, and let Angelina be the mother and actress who shouldn't be defined by bad timing... MOVE ON.

And why isn't Brad even a part of anyone's discussion?

We don't know even how the marriages of people in our real worlds are behind closed doors, so I don't even begin to question what was or wasn't going on in the Pitt world in this transition.

It is old news, it doesn't matter, we need to stop creating a triangle where there hasn't been one in YEARS.

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12:39 pm, Jan 16, 2009

Bulldoglover100

Perhaps we can't move on with serious stories because the Daily Beast chooses to hire people like this author, who apparently wanted a chance to slam Jennifer Anniston, and Isabel who wrote regarding her own climax at the thought that Karl Rove likes her!
Come on Daily Beast if you really want to draw followers? You need some writers who deal in reality and not their own petty issues regarding their sex life (or lack thereof) or their really outlandish attention needs.

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1:45 pm, Jan 16, 2009

traderpsyches

because from the moment those pictures of Jen and Brad on the beach at Cap Ja Luca hit the press, I hated Angelina... good god, it didn't take a detective to know what had happened and Jen really got the short end of the stick.... by a woman who is nuts... I mean who has dozens of kids. Who is she kidding?

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2:43 pm, Jan 16, 2009

rbfishman

My feelings : this article :: Rachel's bodily reaction : visualization of Jennifer.

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3:12 pm, Jan 16, 2009

ChickenStrut

hmm. what a stupid article. thanks for that.

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3:58 pm, Jan 16, 2009

LoStizzar

such a witty and clever article. definitely an interesting way of looking at this ongoing, superficial battle that really does seem to consume so many peoples' lives. way to go Isabel! by the way, you're beautiful!!!

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4:14 pm, Jan 16, 2009

JD92840

Actors/Actresses are no different than politicians. None stay married, monogamous or faithful for very long.

They're who they're with until the next, younger, tighter, prettier thing comes along. Then bam their off to the races trying to snag that person and dump their current.

Get a grip on reality, it's only publicity for them!

What ever grabs the most positive reactions and comments is what they're going to do!

Is there "real" love between any couple in Hollywood? I seriously doubt it!

Grow up people, if you're tired of seeing their woes on TV, that's what God made the clicker for change the damn channel and move on!

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5:08 pm, Jan 16, 2009

Bulldoglover100

Oh Oh Oh I just noticed that the author is like a washed out....milky immitation of Jen!! LOL Don't hate her because you come up so short sweetheart!

Bottom line? Angie acted like a tramp and someday? will pay a karma debt.

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5:20 pm, Jan 16, 2009

jlpagan

oh god......who cares ?

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5:23 pm, Jan 16, 2009

This user is no longer registered.

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5:58 pm, Jan 16, 2009
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