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Cindy Speaks
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In a conversation with her daughter (and blogger) Meghan, Cindy McCain opens up about subjects she couldn’t discuss before: anger at The New York Times, wardrobe malfunctions, and Obama’s inauguration.
While we were on the campaign trail, a lot was said about my mom, Cindy McCain. The media called her a Stepford wife and a Barbie doll. But because my dad was the Republican presidential nominee, she had to be careful about responding to the things being written about her. Today, all that has changed. I blogged during my dad’s campaign (sometimes to the consternation of his staff), and witnessed my mom’s interactions with the public and press firsthand. Now, as she heads to Washington for the inauguration, she opens up to me about that infamous New York Times profile (and the other media battles), being portrayed as a Stepford wife, and how her skin has thickened since the run in 2000.
We want President-elect Obama to succeed because it's what is best for the country. But for me it is a very bittersweet moment.
What is the best part about not being first lady?
Well, I guess the best part would be that I can drive my own car and I am back to my normal everyday life. I can make choices and I have the ability to spend as much time as I want with all of you, which is most important to me. I am back to doing what I love—being a mom, taking care of my family, taking care of needs that are met, and with a family that is our size, that can get complicated.
I mean, you must be relieved in some sense not to have all the people around anymore.
Yes, and although the Secret Service were amazing, dedicated people, it is nice to be able to go out if I want to go out and not plan it ahead of time. Just everything about that, I am enjoying being spontaneous right now.
We had long discussions during the campaign about both of us feeling like D.C. outsiders. Why do you think we both felt that way? Do you think it’s because our family lives in Arizona and you elected to live here instead of D.C.?
First of all, the obvious answer is yes because we have not lived in Washington, D.C., and I personally have always thought that it was a good thing. Remember, I am not being critical of those who chose to live and work in Washington, D.C. However, for us, I grew up a Westerner and I was most comfortable in the West and therefore raised you in the West. Your father and I decided early on to raise you all outside the Beltway so you would not grow up being affected, thinking you were important because your father is a senator. I also think that in some cases the way we were approached because we are not from D.C. seemed threatening to a lot of people. Because we were seen as outside the Beltway, in some cases both of us ended up being misunderstood by the press.
What was the hardest day on the campaign trail?
Election night I stood there looking down the line at everyone as your father was making his concession speech and I looked at all of you realizing there we were doing probably the hardest thing ever—watching your dad concede something he had wanted for a long time, and all of you were all so dignified. I've never been more proud of my family than that evening.
Another hard day was the day The New York Times published their profile on me. I had never spoken with the reporter who wrote the article. She contacted the kids that went to high school with my youngest daughter over the Internet, and as a parent, that was scary. I think it was so hard because I had to look at all of you and say we were doing the right thing by running again, and yet it was incredibly difficult, it was incredibly heart-wrenching.









Everyone gives media bias too much credit. Really we are much smarter than that. I will agree that youth with inadequate parenting and too much media spells trouble but media bias isn't what made the long term party members determine that they can no longer tolerate each other. Media bias isn't what has drained the party of members to independent status. Finally media bias has not made the youth recruiting results a failure - it's the inflexible agenda that members not in total agreement have difficulty selling. What about the media voices of our party that harshly determine that you're not a real Republican if you do not see issues in their rigid way.
Main stream media doesn't manufacture material, they sense controversy and exploit, exploit, exploit.
But with that said I wouldn't want to be the target of exploitation so I thank your family for your efforts. John McCain 2008 will be the catalyst for a new party direction and there is hero in that.
Finally, this article is definately all about making us feel good about unbiased reporting. I mean, it must have been very easy for Ms. McCain to open up to this reporter to give us a reality check about herself. I'm sure that's why she was so candid in her remarks.
from a screaming liberal who supported Hillary then Obama... just wanted to say, Ms. McCain sounds very positive and someone who has chosen to move on in constructive and giving ways...Brava.
Could never understand why Cindy always said "my husband" and would not use John's name when giving a speech.
Why be so mean when you spoke Cindy? More like a high school bully then a future first lady with all the nasty remarks.
Would have been better to talk about "your husbands" strong points.
I too, was a strong Hillary backer who transfered my allegiance to Obama after he won the nomination and I, too, am impressed with these insights into Mrs. McCain.
Nice job, Meghan of letting readers see what is going on behind those lovely clothes and that perfectly made-up face. Cindy sounds like a woman who would be nice to know.
"Did I ever embarrass you?" Great self-awareness in that question. I never thought you did anything to embarrass yourself in front of the public, but I can easily see how you can worry that you did so in front of your parents.
Great to read how normal you and your family seems to be.
I didn't read the NYT article, but I did read the one in the New Yorker, and I felt like I understood, respected, and sympathized a bit more with Cindy after reading it. On the other side of the aisle perhaps, and imperfect as we all are, but a strong woman nonetheless. Best of luck to you.
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Media bias boils down to "the press wouldn't spin it my way." In other words, you failed to make the sale. Every time I hear whining about media bias, I am reminded of Ronald Reagan, who got the best press in the world, even though he was extremely conservative. He simply knew how to make the sale.
I think the media swings both ways and if you want an accurate picture you never rely on one source. Fanatics are just looking for more kool-aid, after all. Most people are reading multiple sources to get a balanced feed.
I will say that the body language differences between the McCains and the Obamas had a big impact on how I saw the candidates as people, and that for me it was something that rose above the clatter of the press.
Calling anything you do not like "media bias" is getting very old. I realize that the Republican party considers any report that is not Fox News glowing and approved by the party to be "media bias", but they need to understand that the days of assuming they have the media in their back pocket is over.
An unfettered media will dig into any story, find anything new they can. You and your husband used the media to tar Obama many times and did not think that was bias. They dutifully dug into his past associations and the like. The problem for you there was that this caused your lies to be exposed (except for Fox, which just repeated your assertions).
The New York Times article on Cindy covered a lot of ground that her carefully groomed image tries to hide - that is not bias. They did the same to Michelle after all. Cindy should be glad that she did not have the Fix attack dogs on her. They trashed Michelle many times (from calling her fist bump a terrorist fist bump to calling her fat to repeating claims that she gave speeches about "whitey").
Once you hauled out your 300K designer dress at the RNC, I realized you were not the my First Lady. Gosh, half of that would pay off my mortgage that I struggle to pay each month.
As a Citizen,
I've always wanted to say this.....All that stuff about the "Media".....It's bullshit. Just depends on what particular side of the fence you're on. You can find what you want to "find." Just ask Sarah (Pals around with Terrorists) Palin.....
As a Soldier,
I've deployed two times and have left friends on that Battlefield. Things I'll never forget. I respect it.....That said....I thought that the Right's hijacking of the War in General and The McCain's use of it when it was politically expedient was irresponsible.
As a Black Man,
Probably because of the two Reasons I listed above....the entire campaign just hurt a little bit. The Hypocrisy of it all. I can't feel bad for Cindy McCain right now. I just can't. She made out alright. Good luck to the McCain's going forward though.
I was a passionate Hillary supporter, and was very upset when Obama did not name her as VP. I wondered why until I watched Michele's face as Hillary spoke at the convention- she really hates HC, it was so easy to see.
Anyhow, I was going to switch to McCain- until he chose Palin- what a mistake that was. Cudos to Cindy McCain for the article, it is plain she is still holding back her true feelings, but I guess that is to be expected from a politician's wife.
Anyhow,. my question is, Why do so many people start non-profits? I mean, come on, do we really need hundreds of non-profits all doing the same thing? Why not combine into just a few- wouldn't that cut down on the famous "administrative costs?" I'm not wording this very clearly, but I don't think we need 50 different NP raising money for Breast Cancer research, for example.
Cindy's new NP sounds a lot like The United Way to me.
Dear Cindy, Meghan, and the rest of the McCain family - count yourself fortunate to have lost the election. While you have lost the opportunity to help millions, you have retained the ability to remain a normal, healthy family. I pity the Obama girls who will now spend the rest of their lives growing up under media scrutiny and secret service protection as targets for any idiot with an axe to grind - or insanely trying to impress Jodi Foster. When will the media begin calling them homely as they did Chelsea Clinton? When will comedians begin calling those two young girls the family dog as they did to Chelsea? How could any responsible, loving parent wish that for their children? It shows the Obamas value power over family. Count your blessings every day that your family is spared the abuse of growing up in the media spotlight.
I agree with several commenters here, blaming the media is a cop out. We're smart enough to search through the countless sources of information to get a balanced look. There are conservative leaning sources and liberal leaning sources. Michelle Obama was attacked just as much as Cindy McCain - perhaps more depending on your vantage point. In the end, character speaks louder than any media source.
The sexism in the media was something that even Howard Dean finally admitted was the untold story behind this campaign. Being a women turns out to be one of the biggest handicaps whether you are the candidate or the spouse- forget about skin color- being black is uber cool now- But a female? Anything she does or wears is fair game for ridicule- Sadly the woman in the press were some of the worst offenders - Maureen Dowd, Gail Collins, Peggy Noonan- pathetic ladies all- Now MS Magazine has joined the pile-on proclaiming on their new cover Barack Obama is what a feminist really looks like? Really? What has he done for women lately? 25% of his cabinet? Breast groping head speech writer? Rick "women should obey their husbands and abortion is like the holocaust" Warren? "Sweetie"? "Hillary only had tea with ambassadors"? Guess when he signs the equal pay act (that Hillary Clinton sponsored and worked hard to get passed while Obama was MIA) that signature will be enough to prove what Naomi Wolf et al believe about THE ONE- He will be the superman savior for all us weak kneed Lois Lanes.We come a long way baby?
Awesome interview, Meghan! Too bad your interview didn't come out during the election... not that it would have mattered: your mom is right-- most "news" is just gossip. Although I voted for Obama, I felt that your dad and mom were treated unfairly and with consistent negative bias by the press. For me, the greatest joy is hearing that the Obama folks are reaching out to your dad. Sorry you mom was treated so shabbily-- the news folks are all a bunch of SOB's and NEVER report without putting their personal, unfair slant on a story ( which I, and my friends, have experienced, being union members--CCPOA-- since the Sacramento Bee is blatantly anti-union). Good luck to you, and your mom is wonderful.
This article and all the commentary that takes it at face value will look very silly if we ever learn that, say, the McCains haven't lived together for at least a year....
Nicely done. It's nice that you took the time to give a voice to you and your mother. Kudos.
PS I always find it humorous how some liberals believe the press is "unbiased" and that there is "no spin"... these are usually folks who have NEVER run for local office, or had their group attacked unfairly by their newspaper or local TV station! If you believe that there is no bias in the news, then please read the novel "1984" by George Orwell: all "news" is "newspeak"!
Meghan you are yummy...I could spend hours just......oh nevermind.
I feel like the media was definitely biased sometimes when dealing with Cindy McCain, she is involved in a lot of charities, and we never heard much about this side of her on the news. However, a consensus I've reached with other Obama voters (I am one) is that unlike the Obamas, the McCains seemed to be holding back their true feelings and thoughts, and personalities, which most people wouldn't even really find offensive, except for the extremely far right conservatives. I felt like their entire campaign was based on not saying the wrong things...like "I respect gay rights" "Bill Ayers isn't a terrorist" or "We're not actually going to make overturning Roe v. Wade our first priority." Those of us who knew John McCain before the campaign started know he's a very smart, level headed man, but this was not the man campaigning for the presidency. The article is about Cindy...and she seemed to have a rigidity that Michelle Obama did not have...she just didn't come across as someone I could easily have a normal conversation with.
She is undoubtedly a great woman...I just did not see this woman during the campaign.
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
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