Gossip Girl Deathwatch

Creator Josh Schwartz’s last teen sensation, The O.C., flamed out after three-and-a-half short seasons (excuse us, we mean three seasons plus one we prefer to forget). Will history repeat itself? Ten symptoms of impending death we saw on The O.C.—and are now seeing on Gossip Girl.

Within the span of an hour, this Monday’s Gossip Girl managed to feature a student losing her shot at Yale (and then getting it back), a student-teacher friendship mistaken as forbidden romance (but by the end—PSYCH!—it was romance), and said teacher being fired (only to be rehired moments later). The big twists are coming at a dizzying pace and it leaves one to wonder, is the show’s creator, Josh Schwartz, blowing his load too soon? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time. Schwartz’s first venture, The O.C., fizzled before the end of its fourth season, partially due to the haphazard introduction of storylines and dissatisfying resolutions that became characteristic of the show. In fact, when Gossip Girl premiered last September, New York magazine asked Schwartz how he would avoid a second flameout, he replied: "We were blowing through story fast as can be [on The O.C.]…By the time the third season rolled around, I definitely was not as focused or inspired as one needs to be."

So, is history repeating? The following are ten symptoms of impending death we saw on The O.C. and their reincarnation on Gossip Girl.

Andrew Eccles / The CW Network

1. Speeding through story arcs.

The O.C.: Once season three hit, the stories became more absurd and their telling too hasty. Hey, anyone remember the time Ryan decided to quit school his senior year and become a fisherman? Only to change his mind before the end of the episode?

Gossip Girl: This week, Blair was expelled from school (also in her senior year), but was readmitted before the end of the hour.

2. Student-teacher romance.

The O.C: In season three, the annoyingly perky Taylor Townsend hooked up with the dreamy “Dean of Discipline.”

Gossip Girl: On Monday night, Dan hooked up with Rachel, a teacher at his school.

While in real life it’s kind of hot to hook up with a teacher (especially if they look like Ugly Betty’s Eric Mabius), on TV it represents a desperate and cliché attempt at scandal on behalf of the writers.

3. An aggravating central couple and the endless break-up make-up cycle.

The O.C: It seemed like Ryan and Marissa broke up every other episode, leaving you to not know or care whether or not they were together.

Gossip Girl: Dan and Serena just broke up again! That’s number four for anyone who’s counting. I stopped caring at  No. 2.5.

What makes it even more painful is that these couples have explicitly acknowledged that they keep having the same fights. Do the writers read their own work?

Here’s a tip for TV, love, and life: If you’re going to keep having the same argument over and over again, you should probably just end the relationship. It gets boring. What makes it even more painful is that these couples have explicitly acknowledged that they keep having the same fights. Do the writers read their own work?

4. Interim love interests poorly executed.

The O.C.: In season one, non-primary love interests, such as Anna, were fully fleshed-out characters that were carefully integrated into the plot. By season three, these characters had few endearing qualities and were poorly depicted. Really? Volchok took Marissa to her senior prom?

Gossip Girl: If Amanda and Aaron are any indication, interim relationships are going to be as annoying as Dan and Serena themselves.

If we are to believe, at least temporarily, that our protagonists should date these people, they should not come off as complete douchebags with nothing to offer.