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Remembering William F. Buckley, a Year Later
Jews observe a formal period of one year’s mourning for a parent, called an avelut. We aren’t Jewish, but I get, and like, the idea, even though I don’t suppose the mourning ever really ends, until one’s own time comes. In the meantime, ave atque vale.The eulogy I gave at St. Pat’s I reproduced here, below.
We talked about this day, he and I, a few years ago. He said to me, “If I’m still famous, try to convince the Cardinal to do the service at St. Patrick’s. If I’m not, just tuck me away in Stamford.”
Well, Pup, I guess you’re still famous.
Pope Benedict will be saying Mass here in two weeks. I was told that the music at this mass for my father would in effect be the dress rehearsal for the Pope’s. I think that would have pleased him, though doubtless he’d have preferred it to be the other way around.
On the day he retired from Firing Line after a 33-year long run, Nightline (no relation) did a show to mark the occasion. At the end, Ted Koppel said, “Bill, we have one minute left. Would you care to sum up your 33 years in television?” To which my father replied, “No.”
Taking his cue, I won’t attempt to sum him up in my few minutes here. A great deal has been written and said about him in the month since he died, at his desk, in his study in Stamford. After I’d absorbed the news, I sat down to compose an email. My inner English major asserted itself and I found myself quoting (misquoting, slightly) a line from Hamlet,
He was a man, Horatio, take him for all in all,
I shall not look upon his like again.
One of my first memories of him was of driving up to Sharon, Connecticut for Thanksgiving. It would have been about 1957. He had on the seat between us an enormous reel-to-reel tape recorder. For a conservative, my old man was always on the cutting edge of the latest gadgetry—despite the fact that at his death, he was almost certainly the only human being left on the planet who still used Word Star.
It was a recording of MacBeth. My five-year old brain couldn’t make much sense of it. I asked him finally, “What’s eating the queen?” He explained about the out-out-damned spot business. I replied, “Why doesn’t she try Palmolive?” So began my tutelage with the world coolest mentor.
I placed inside his casket a few items to see him across the River Styx: his favorite rosary, the TV remote control—private joke—a jar of peanut butter, and my mother’s ashes. I can hear her saying, “Bill—what is that dis-gusting substance leaking all over me?” No pharaoh went off to the afterlife better equipped than he does.
The last time I was with him in Sharon was last October. It was a fundraiser for the local library, billed as “A Bevy of Buckleys”—my father, Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Pitts, Aunt Carol, me—reading from the aggregate Buckley oeuvre—a word I first heard from his lips many years ago, along with other exotic, multi-lingual bon mots: mutatis mutandis; pari passu; quod licet Jove, non licet bovi.
An article had appeared in the local paper a few days before, alerting the community to this gala event. As I perused the clipping, my eyes alighted on the sentence: “The Buckleys are a well-known American family, William F. Buckley being arguably the best known.”
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
Amateur Hour at the White House
Leslie H. Gelb, a former New York Times columnist and senior government official, is author of Power Rules: How Common Sense Can Rescue American Foreign Policy (HarperCollins 2009), a book that shows how to think about and use power in the 21st century. He is president emeritus of the Council on Foreign Relations.
Going Rogue: The Index
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
Going Rogue: The Index
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
Lessons from Another War
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
It's Time for Us to Go
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
I was in awe of your father.
Whenever he wrote or spoke, I had writers envy. Is that a sin?
WFBj. is in a far better place but not forgotten. Christopher, you are a great writer with a wicked wit as well. My sin continues.
May his memory continue to comfort you this coming week. And, I hope you find your misplaced faith again.
Save for the unfortunate but forgivable needling of our Sarah (in no particular order), this column was enjoyable in a weird way--and interesting as well.
Thanks for the memories, Mr. Buckley. Fathers are giants and your father towered over many. R.I.P.
Heartwarming. Bless you for being a loving son.
What happened to the conservatives of today? Why are they totally unemotional, to the point of being cruelly inhuman?
Excellent article, Christopher. You did well.
You seem a thoughtful, principled and caring man. Your father must have been so proud of you. And how you must miss him.
Venezia: I don't know, myself. I know someone who used to know Dick Cheney rather well about 15-20 years ago and said that back then, he was a really nice guy, liked by virtually everybody. "What happened to him?" I said. "I have ~no~ idea," my friend said.
The (unsuccessful) attempts to rebrand as "compassionate convervatism" never addressed the implied differentiator of "as opposed to the regular, kick-you-in-the-teeth-when-you're-down conservativism you're used to seeing from us." Conservatives used to be the ones who cared about the environment 100 years ago, for example. That seems to have completely gone by the wayside.
Militant Christianity, maybe? I'm honestly not sure. It's quite upsetting. I cannot imagine Barry Goldwater being as much of a jerk. Even Nixon, for his myriad failings as a human being, actually was in favor of universal health care and a guaranteed basic wage. (Who would have thought we'd come to a day where we'd miss Nixon?)
Too bad there wasn't a bit more osmosis between you (aka Obama fan) and the old man.
For those wondering "what happened to conservatives?" it's worth noting that no intellectual leaders in the conservative camp, much less the libertarian conservatives like WFB ever considered W. Bush or VP Cheney to be conservative. Likewise Richard Nixon. The extent to which Goldwater was villified and hated by democrats in the 60s was not exceeded until Reagan won the election of 1980. People have forgotten the hateful impugning that was heaped upon Ronald Reagan throughout his Presidency. But, all that pales in comparison to the hatred for the House Republicans for impeaching Clinton, which itself pales in comparison to the hatred by democrats for George W Bush for the 2000 election.
It seems there are two things going on here: 1) people like conservatives who lose elections, and 2) there is nearly a complete ignorance of what it means to be a conservative. We can't help you with No.1, but for No.2, Russell Kirk's Ten Conservative Principles is a very good place to start. And, it's guaranteed to surprise you, as well. Google it.
Enjoy.
Wonderful, warm article, Mr. Buckley. For what it's worth, I also miss your father's wit and wisdom.
Having lost my own father just under 8 years ago, I can certainly attest that, for me, the first year without him was certainly the worst. No, the pain of his loss will never go away, it just becomes a little bit easier to live with over time.
My father was just shy of 81 years of age at the time. With the exception of his emphysema, he was in otherwise good health, both physically and, most certainly, mentally. Still played golf two to three times per week. Well, that emphysema triggered a heart-attack once evening and he died five days later. I got the phone call about the heart attack, and I was present when he died though Dad, himself, was in a coma.
Even adult children have unresolved issues and complicated feelings where their deceased fathers are concerned. While my father wasn't famous, as Mr. William F. Buckley was, I have both the honor and emotional burden of being my father's namesake. Dad wasn't a perfect father (or a perfect man), but he was honorable and beloved, and I try to live up to his fine example.
Like yourself, Mr. Buckley, I, too, want to pick up the phone and call Dad often, and for many of the same reasons that you cited above. Dad was a Republican, so I'm certain that he would have voted for McCain, especially being a fellow Navy veteran, but I think that he would have shaken his head at the Palin selection and prayed for McCain's good health.
I think of all of the things that I've seen since Dad's passing and how I'd love to have discussed these with him, things that some of us never imagined seeing in our entire lifetimes - wonderful things such as a black man elected president, the Red Sox winning not one but two World Series, and the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl, but also the sadness and horror of 9/11. I'm glad that Dad was spared that experience.
Be grateful that you father got to see you married and enjoying a successful career, Mr. Buckley. Also be proud that you gave your father the greatest gift that a son can possibly give to his own dad - grandchildren.
Christopher, this is beautifully written and deeply felt by those who read it. I never agreed with one thing your father said, but I so loved the way he said it. I'd say this: If God has made us in His own image, then He made your dad as His finest match with one exception -- God's a Democrat.
I, too, would love to hear the discussion going on between them on the "other side." Happily, one day we will.
Dear Mr. Buckley,
I too lost my parents in a very short space of time a few years ago. I know the pain and loss you feel missing that unconditional love. Please know that your parents are gone, but I believe they see your loving heart. In any event, whether you believe this or not, love never dies.
I had wanted to write when your Dad died so thanks for providing an opportunity to do so now. I am a bleeding heart liberal raised in Texas amidst conservatives and eccentrics. Even though he said some things I didn't like WFB was so utterly cool. So in love with life and so above the fray in such a marvelous way. He had grace in his demeanor that shone out from him and was magnified by his humour. What a great guy just to be delighted by. I wish there were another around as I watched all his appearances just to soak up the whole deal. Thanks again for sharing on this anniversary.
I disagreed profoundly with WFB's views, but always enjoyed his presentation of them anyway.
And, by the way, it's "Ave atque vale."
I sat in St. Patrick's Cathedral that April morning at marveled at your poise and eloquence in a so noble, yet so difficult duty. Amid all the French and Latin, what I thought belonged was a word from Hebrew, for this was a true mitzvah.
Be well, Christopher. Anniversaries of this kind are difficult, to say the least. I particularly liked the references to family and the cajoling between Father and Son. I remember the same with my own Dad who passed last April; different in detail, but very much the same in both spirit and content. It does beg the question "where have all of the great men gone?" Sadly, there is no evidence of any left in these days, the starkness of this dissimilarity can be seen in the Trillions. "We'll have a brisk sail" might equally apply in other areas of life, as we go tilting at Keynesian Windmills.
Peace, brother. I am quite sure your Dad is safely beside the Almighty, mesmerized at the detail of that man's inventions, having finally met his match...and being rejoined with a lifelong one. Namaste!
Thank you.
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