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10 Thoughts About the Oscars
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I’m going to list my thoughts about this years Oscars in no particular order, although I’d like to start by saying something about order.
1) It is ridiculous that the departed people in the “In Memoriam” section are not simply listed in alphabetical order. Are we really still allowing this to be an applause-meter popularity contest that ends with the favorite? Is Hollywood still ranking people as A-listers and B-listers post death? Queen Latifah singing over the whole affair doesn’t make it any less high school. (although I thought she did a good job.)
2) Most gasp worthy moment of the night: seeing Jennifer Grey on the red carpet. Oh, Jennifer. I miss your nose so much. So much.
3) Most cringe-worthy moment of the night: Jennifer Aniston having a total panic attack when presenting the animation awards ten feet away from Brad and Angelina. I suppose it would be tough for anyone not to feel “less than” when your ex and his new lady are both nominated for Oscars while you’re giving away the talking panda awards. That said, the stage, like John Mayer, should have been further away from the audience.
4) There were actually some lovely speeches this year. Penelope Cruz, Dustin Lance Black, and Sean Penn all gave me le shivers.
5) Dear Seth Rogen: Please get chubby again. Love, Jessi.
6) Dear Ben Stiller: You really thought it was funny to make fun of Joaquin Phoenix? Even though everyone already did it a week and a half ago? And even though there’s a possibility he has a drug problem? Like the one that killed his brother, River? Okay, then.
7) I guess we’ve known for awhile that Ryan Seacrest is a total automaton, but I kind of could not believe he couldn’t put his douche-switch in the off position when interviewing the adorable little kids from Slumdog Millionaire. You’re seriously asking an eight-year-old from India the same questions you’d ask Teri Hatcher?
8) Do Natalie Portman and Freida Pinto drink water from some special secret well that makes you the prettiest person on earth? I want to go to there.
Which reminds me:
9) Steve Martin and Tina Fey should host the Oscars together every year.
10) Dear Oscars producers: I want my acting clips back in my acting categories. I don’t need five actors telling five other actors how much they personally enjoyed their performances. Especially when it creates the awkward situation of Adrien Brody, who was in one good movie and a soda campaign, telling Richard Jenkins, who is amazing and has been in everything, that he approved of his performance.
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Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
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Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
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Jessi Klein is a writer and comedian who has frequently appeared on Comedy Central, CNN, VH1, and the Today show. She also likes to think she has value as a human being aside from her numerous credits in the entertainment industry.
Jessi: You nailed it on every point. Stiller's "comedy skit???"was really cringe worthy. too bad the lovely Natalie Portman had to play along.
I agree with you that having Adrian Brody "approve of" Jenkins performance was a bit much, but I thought having past winners congratulate the current nominees was a very nice touch. The nominees seemed genuinely moved. I hope the Academy does this again.
I'm also with you on having Tina Fey and Steve Martin host next year. What fun that would be!
And you really nailed it when you called out Seacrest's trying to interview the little, non-English speaking kids from "Slumdog." Even if they had been native English speakers, what kind of questions were those for little kids! Please save us from him in the future.
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While I agree with many of your comments, don't tell Seth Rogen to get fat again. He looks so much healthier and I think we need to end the tradition of thinking that funny fat men have to stay fat. Let's not endanger his health so he'll look like more of a character.
Dear Jessi: You really thought it was up to you to chastize Ben Stiller for being hilarious? It is widely known that Joaquin Pheonix is pulling an Andy Kaufman on all of us. He does not have a drug problem, he is making a mockumentary. Casey Affleck has been following him around with camera's everytime he makes one of these appearances where he is "out of it". Why don't you do a little research before you humiliate yourself and the site you "write" for.
I'm sick of reading about alleged open conflict between Jennifer Aniston & Angelina Jolie. Have either of these women
ever commented about it on the record? If so, where and when?
While I fully understand the situation, I seriously doubt that either spends a lot of time thinking about the other at this point in time except when the press continues to ponder same.
I wish the two would just pose for a photo together. That would end it.
After all, in time even Debbie Reynolds and Elizavbeth Taylor moved on.
Time for a quick business lesson folks, and why they blew it. The Oscars are there to drive additional ticket sales and pump DVD sales when the movies that won get showered with attention and fanfare. That is their #1 job or the ceremony would be closed to the public and left for the industry alone to share privately.
We know that most of these movies were not seen. So what does the telecast do? Kill off the clips. How could we not have seen a really good Heath Ledger clip just before his name was announced?? (And that was the one movie most people did see.) How could we not have seen something from movies like Frozen River that apparently had good performances and yet will go out of our minds yet again without a sample to make us take notice?
I applaud trying to come up with a faster pace or to make the telecast more exciting. The five previous winners concept was innovative, but not at the expense of the movies and the stars that should have been showcased far more than in some rambly speech they probably didn't hear anyway because of nerves. Loved the closer stage, and the grouping of awards and on and on, but I sure wish I could have sampled some of the those performances and really learned what I was missing.
First off Ryan Seacrest is an embarrassment to our society and even though it's only E get rid of him for next time...Jackman is talented and everything but i really miss the Bruce Vallanche back stage and smart American comedian onstage combo...Steve Martin was perfect when he hosted and would be great again although I hear the heavy pre show workload kills the deal for a lot of contenders...Nice job Jessi.
11) Swarovski crystals? Really, Oscar producers? Really? Is that your interpretation of a more "subdued" decor? Sure it looked great, but you HAD to choose the paradigm of uselessly expensive tackiness to adorn your stage amidst economic turmoil?
12) Miley Cyrus. Yikes! We're those Swarovski, too?
13) Dear Sofia Loren: Matching skin tone to dress color is not the same as, say, matching handbag to shoes... not the same at all.
14) I rather enjoyed Kate Winslet's speech as well. It was endearing. (though, her dad did looked like Bilbo Baggins)
15) A.R. Rahman vs. John Legend Battle of the Bands? Unclear. Unimpressive.
Where was Daniel Day-Lewis? Isn't it traditional for the previous year's winner to be (one of) the presenters for the following year?
Jennifer was acutely aware of the world's laser beam on her last night. Under the circumstances, I think she handled herself with grace, poise and humor and she looked bloody marvelous.
The producers should be ashamed for pandering by cutting away for a shot of Angelina during her presentation. Pretty crass from people in the business.
Tho this is a great commentary by Ms. Klein, the Oscars are still an overblown publicity/popularity/hollywood display of blah-blah.
And yes, what could be more boring/highschool/predictable than this "red carpet" routine.
Nothing is revealed.
Jessi - you are so on target!! Everyone I know who watched this show agrees! What idiot put Jennifer up there in front of "those two" - and to present that category?? No Oscars for Brangelina - Karma, maybe. And how could we mourn for the poor departed when we couldn't even see them with the camera focused on the Queen? (Who I love, by the way.) Maybe they should do an Oscar Idol show because I am positive someone out there has more creativity, taste and better judgement than the producers of this one. Okay everyone, name the winners of the 2008 Show !! It's like a trainwreck we can't stop looking at.
Ryan Seacrest's career cannot end fast enough. How that talentless little troll ever got a job in front of a camera is beyond me.
The audience applause during "in memoriam" section has always been Seriously Tasteless. Next year the presenter should just say, "With respect for our dearly departed, we ask that you please hold your applause till the end of the presentation."
Tina Fey Steve Martin = the ONLY reason to watch the Oscars this year. What a true find and a genuine delight!
Natalie Portman is a Lolipop. Someone needs to feed her - your water or anything else.
Frieda Pinto IS da bomb! But she's the West's vision of a pretty Indian woman, not India's - they all wanna look like Aishwarya Rai over there. So she'll have more success in Hollywood, Europe, or the Indie circuit than she'll ever have in Bollywood.
Finally, you & the rest of the media need to get a life WRT Jen & Brangelina. This was news back in 2003/2004. 5-6 years later, you still get all uncomfortable when the 3 of them are in a room together, and you can't help reading "panic attack" into the tiniest of gestures. Seems like they've moved on but you haven't...
Thank you.
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