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Wives Gone Wild!
Without any sense of irony, Ramona and Kelly, like nearly all of the other Orange County, Atlanta and New York City housewives, never offer a wink-wink to the audience to convey an understanding that their notoriety is nothing but reality-TV dross (one exception: the comparatively unpretentious New York natural-foods chef, Bethenny, who, though not a housewife but a divorcée with a spine of steel, said of reality TV, “Either go big, or go home!”) Despite their self-delusions, none of the women are remarkably talented or creative, though some are philanthropically inclined and all are opportunistic. So why on Earth aren’t we simply flipping the channel?
“It’s a female outlet for aggression, with the viewer achieving vicarious pleasure,” reasons Dr. Cirillo. “You can identify with the aggressor or you can identify with the victim. In the happy ending, the victim wins and you can vicariously enjoy her retaliation against the other woman. She gets back at the biggest bitch.”
Similarly, Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler, authors of Friend or Frenemy: A Guide to Friends You Need and the Ones You Don’t, point out that Bravo’s "bitchy jackals," as the authors call them, are an extreme version of real personages and that watching them enables the viewer to glory in self-superiority.
“This makes people feel better about their own lives,” confirmed Lavinthal. “The women have all this money and you think if you were that rich, you’d never act like this. Or maybe these shows make you feel better because you’ve been in a similar situation where you have a friend who you’re a little bit afraid of.”
OK. I'm ready to reveal my secret now, make my confession. Three years ago, I almost had my 15 seconds of fame on a Bravo pilot. It was intended as a reality-TV equivalent to Sex and the City and was the brainchild of a downtown, female writer who would play the Carrie Bradshaw character, with three sidekick friends, a gay guy who did something like party planning, a cute, late-20s, hipster chick from Brooklyn who made T-shirts and yours truly, who—in real life separated from her husband, newly single mother of a teenage son, the author of a tell-all, erotically graphic memoir and a short-lived sex columnist for the New York Post—would play the role of Samantha.
After my screen test, when I was picked, I won’t lie, I did feel as if I’d been discovered—found and filtered out of the amorphousness and namelessness of all humanity, thanks to the right people finally realizing I emanated a special sparkle, making me more luminous than ordinary mortals. If my stars remained in alignment and I also played my cards right, I could create a future that extended far beyond the 900 square feet of my apartment.
The episode of the pilot in which I made my first and only appearance took place on the "set" of a Tribeca restaurant that had closed for the afternoon of our shooting. The gay guy, the T-shirt girl, and I were seated at a table where, before the taping, we made our introductions, though we were supposedly gathering as BFFs of the downtown writer who had some really huge news to share. Making a delayed entrance, she breathlessly took her seat, nearly self-detonating with excitement as she launched into a riff:
“He-proposed-last-night-and-now-I’m-engaged-but-OHMIGOD!-can-I-ever-be-faithful-to-one-man-for-the-rest-of-my-life?-Everyone-tell-me-what-you-think-because-I’m-hysterical!!!!!
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
Why America Must Learn to Bow
Martin Jacques is the cofounder of the UK think tank Demos, writes a regular column for The Guardian, and is a visiting research fellow at the London School of Economics Asia Research Centre. His new book, When China Rules the World, is available now.
Going Rogue: The Index
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
My Odyssey Into Extreme Dermatology
Elizabeth Hayt is a freelance writer in Manhattan and the author of I'm No Saint: Memoir of a Wayward Wife. (Warner Books, 2006)
Your likening it to professional wrestling seems correct. It is 90 percent fake.
Yeah, I never understood how a man could beat his wife until I watched that show. Now, I still don't condone it but I understand.
I have watched the one with the women of New York. I just can't get into the others. I don't understand why I watch because these people seem kinda shallow to me. Why don't they do a show with middle class women who are bookkeepers, teachers, clerks now that would be interesting to the average woman to see how they are coping with this economy. These women seem to busy patting themselves on their backs.
it's voyeurism baby in it's higher form. now we know how they went to hell in a golden hand basket. it all for the money,it always for the money
I am horrified by my addiction to this series. I just can't look away. And I even read the message boards! Yikes! It's like people who go on the Dr. Phil show, exposing themselves to a bazillion viewers - who on Earth wants this type of exposure? Well, I can answer that myself: the women who agree to be in these series. The faux reality of it doesn't even compare to the willingness of these women to be humiliated, criticized, analyzed, become objects of scorn for being on these shows. And, the horror, the horror of it - I am an enabler!
So is this how The Beast makes its money? Not-so-subtle "product placements" in the form of touting something in a blog?
I'm not buying. If you say it's shallow, I believe you. Thanks.
This "article" has 4 pages? I couldnt even get past the first page. Uggh, 'real housewives'... No wonder I will NEVER get married; Im keeping my $$$ and sanity (if I get lonely there's always a huge market of Asian hookers!)
ack, elizabeth! i went to your site and was bombarded w/ autoplay. why? i'm already listening to music and i can assure you it's way better than whatever you can throw at me. however, you're super hot. like younger guys?
Wives!?
Calling these women "wives" is an insult to all married women....
They are hookers who happen to be married to their clients.
I am a well educated , mature European male living in the US for the last 20 years and I suppose I should turn up my nose to this type of television as being shallow .....but I find it riveting to watch how these beautiful women go through their daily grind ....However, I would not want to be married to any of them ....I expect they would chew up and spit out my 401K in a nano second .......what can I say ....its America warts and all !!!
I hate to say it, southernyankee, but no one wants to see a show about middle class housewives. To get a dose of that, most of us just need to ring up a few friends and go out for dinner...or invade a friend's place with a few bottles of wine and the makings of dinner -- given the new economic "realities" and all. Unfortunately, these would be gatherings of women who actually LIKE each other and provide little, if any dramatic catfights between frenemies. So, no drama and not a producer in the world is going to take that on. Think of it this way, though: the purpose of these women is to provide entertainment for the rest of us.
P.S. I completely agree that the only part of this franchise that interests me is NY.
"We wanted to see if there was a modern Peyton Place where women were redefining the dream of what it means to be a modern housewife." Andy Cohen should be smacked around by his wife a little - assuming he has one. I suppose I understand the fascination with these pathetic human train wrecks, but after watching an episode for 3 minutes I just wanted to gouge out my eyes and run head first into the tv. But I guess it's better than having to know them in real life...
And I can see why you have a nagging interest in being a part of such perversely inane tripe - fake breasts, self aggrandizing 'erotic' memoir, restylane lips, won't leave home w/out makeup, and an award for Journalistic Achievement from the American Society for Plastic Surgeons (now THAT'S comedy!!)...You and Andy Cohen are made for each other...
I don't know why this article reminds me of the anti sex league.
What not mentioned in this article are the offspring of these prima donnas. Some seemingly well adjusted, others disturbingly without ambition living off the family largesse.
These shows are very funny, but for those of you looking for something with a little more pizzaz try one of those wife-swapping shows. I especially enjoyed one episode where a type A family from the NY suburbs traded moms with a family of traveling carnies.
I also recommend the Nanny 911 type shows where a professional nanny fixes a family of crazy parents and spoiled children. I liked the one where the young mother let her pet goat eat food from the table and her kids eat food from the floor. Awesome!
C'mon, the RHOC are a mess, nasty and cheap-NYC, not so bad. However, it is disturbing that BravoTV, Andy Cohen being openly gay and all, lets the gay bigotry in, or out, as it were- Listening to this kind of talk ,I tuned out for good on the OC women; I even teared up, I was so upset. They should be off the air, period. I like the NYC and Atlanta groups, I find them entertaining, but OC, ignorant, offensive, and vulgar beyond words.
And by the way, Elizabeth, good piece, very funny and enjoyable.
They are a guilty pleasure for me. The New York dames are great fun to watch, especially Bethanny Frankel, so bright and funny. I love that the Countess is writing a book on etiquette, yet showed rudeness in a couple episodes. And Jill's mother is a star in her own right! May it run for years.
Thank god I'm not the only TDB reader who watches these awful shows. The OC version was so horrible and disturbing this year that I kept waiting for Flave-O-Flave to show up and claim Tamra for himself. Ugh. The NYC wives seem like a sophisticated breath of fresh air: college degrees, clear skin, summer homes, and NO SPLIT ENDS! Also, they speak in clear sentences and use the word "classy" much less.
The housewives are interesting to watch because these are real women, most of them living privileged lives, making fools of themselves on cable.
I'm hooked on the three Housewives series - to the point that I also read the message boards. The show gives access to three subcultures, and especially, to women I would never know in my own life. I think the series show the corrupting effect of wealth when there is little education, substance, and spirituality. Money for money's sake isn't enough, and certainly, money doesn't buy values or substance. When a person lacks substance, there aren't enough designer shoes to fill the emptiness. The same (human) story gets played out in three different cities, with different races and stories. Money with little or no education gets you the OC: vacuous, adolescent, insecure women with vacuous, insecure adolescents. Money with no education gets you Atlanta: adolescent, insecure women with vacuous, insecure adolescents. And money with education and no values gets you NYC: adolescent, insecure women with vacuous, insecure adolescents. What separates us from other animals is our ability to form values, to aspire to greater good, to create and appreciate beauty, and our sense of awe at the God-created beauty around us. Without humility and values, humans of any city are just monkeys with golden purses.
Thank you.
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