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An Old-Fashioned Wedding?
PA Wire / AP Photo
As rumors swirl about William and Kate, Andrew Morton says the whole thing feels like a time warp. She only exists to please him; and he and his fellow royals are clueless about the changing times.
This week, Prince Charles was in the land that time forgot, the Galapagos Islands, the archipelago that inspired Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. He was warning about species facing extinction, though curiously he failed to mention himself or the other rare breeds that roost under the eaves of the House of Windsor. Perhaps he knows something we don’t.
He named a baby giant tortoise after his eldest son, Prince William, as speculation hared through the European media that he was intending to wed his longtime, on-off, on-again girlfriend Kate Middleton this summer. No less an authority than Point de Vue, a French magazine that once intimated that Princess Anne had been, shall we say, “overly familiar” with an entire soccer team, announced that European royals had been told to clear their diaries for the big event.
We have of course been down this road before. In 2006, long before the receivers were called in, the forward-thinking management of Woolworths unveiled designs for mugs, thimbles, mouse mats, and sweets to commemorate the expected engagement of the heir to the throne. At the same time, Britain’s major commercial station, ITN, filmed a showpiece documentary about the couple, their confirmation of a royal marriage based on “impeccable sources.” Or should that be “sauces.” A few months later, in April 2007, the couple confirmed that they had split. Woolworths is now defunct and ITN on the endangered list, shedding jobs and programs—both victims of the laws of economic natural selection.
Whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows. If Michelle Obama seems the acme of social modernity and progress, the romance of Kate and William harks back to another arcane era.
Meanwhile the House of Windsor plods on, its 1,000-year-old shell seemingly impervious to the shock of the new. Other European royal families have faced extinction because they have continued to paddle in the shallow end of the gene pool, insisting that royalty marries other royalty or high nobility. When the Windsors played the aristocrat card, their search for a white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant virgin yielded Lady Diana Spencer, and look what a fine mess that got them into. William’s long, slow courtship of a privately educated, perfectly pleasant, middle-class girl owes much to the disastrous union of his parents. Adapt and survive is the Windsor motto.
Yet there is an unmistakeable “back to the future” vibe about their relationship. For a start, William is beginning to look like his dad. He’s lost those boyish good looks along with his hair and, just like when his father was in the Navy, has decided to grow a beard.
At the same time, with no career to speak of, his girlfriend is a lady in waiting, spending her days grooming and hanging around waiting for her prince to come calling. Dubbed “Waitie Katie” by the tabs, she confided to novelist Kathy Lette during a polo match that she had to concentrate on every play so that she could discuss it with the heir later. Even in her salad days, Diana was never that enthusiastic about the game. Thus in this off-the-cuff comment was revealed a young woman whose self-defined role in life was accommodating her man. Her mission is to blend in and to conform, to choose the correct wardrobe—demure but flattering—for the three costume changes a day required at Balmoral or Sandringham. Is this then the ultimate ambition for the best and the brightest of her generation—to find and snare a man?
On this calculated throw of the dice she has gambled her entire future. If she fails to win her prince, no matter what she does in her future life—find a cure for cancer, rid the world of landmines—she will always be defined as the girl who tried and failed to get her man.
While comparisons are odious, the life of America’s new first lady serves as a telling counterpoint to the 27-year-old possibly-one-day-queen of England. Michelle Obama has it all because she has had to do it all: raise children, hold down an executive job, feed the family, and support her husband. Her achievements mean that a generation of women swell a little with pride when they see how far one of the sisterhood has come.
By contrast, whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows. If Michelle Obama seems the acme of social modernity and progress, the romance of Kate and William harks back to another arcane era.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Jeff Madrick is a contributor to the New York Review of Books and a former economics columnist for the New York Times. He is editor of Challenge Magazine, visiting professor of humanities at Cooper Union, and senior fellow at the New School's Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. He is the author of Taking America, The End of Affluence (Random House) and The Case for Big Government.
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Andrew Morton is one of the world's best-known biographers. His groundbreaking biography of Diana, Princess of Wales, is a modern classic. while his latest bestseller, on Tom Cruise, has made headlines around the world. Morton’s portrait of Monica Lewinsky revealed the young woman behind the blue dress, while his biography of Madonna nailed the myths and legends surrounding her controversial life.
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Andrew Morton is one of the world's best-known biographers. His groundbreaking biography of Diana, Princess of Wales, is a modern classic. while his latest bestseller, on Tom Cruise, has made headlines around the world. Morton’s portrait of Monica Lewinsky revealed the young woman behind the blue dress, while his biography of Madonna nailed the myths and legends surrounding her controversial life.
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Andrew Morton is one of the world's best-known biographers. His groundbreaking biography of Diana, Princess of Wales, is a modern classic. while his latest bestseller, on Tom Cruise, has made headlines around the world. Morton’s portrait of Monica Lewinsky revealed the young woman behind the blue dress, while his biography of Madonna nailed the myths and legends surrounding her controversial life.
This is wildy amusing given how smitten Morton was when he wrote Diana's biography... and made a fortune. What a change in tone! He sounds peeved about something!?! Has he suddenly become anti-monarchist? Please - Kate Middleton cannot be compared (period) to Michelle Obama.
What a nasty little article.
What a creepy "biographer". I suppose his writing counts as beastly, but certainly not in a good way.
The monarchy is irrelevant and overrated.
Andrew Morton is the threadbare cuff of an otherwise excellent pair of trousers. Please cut him off.
Heh. Cute article. Here's hoping it's completely false and these two well-educated, well-travelled. gen-x'ers aspire to even half the accomplishments of The Obamas. Class will out...
I agree: Morton seems a tad peeved. What, did Miss Middleton put the kibosh on Kate: Her True Story?
As for the following:
"...whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows."
As opposed to Michelle Robinson, who was, of course, well-known to all for her amazing accomplishments long before she met Barack Obama and he was elected president.
As for the young couple, it seems as if Miss Middleton is exactly what the House of Windsor needs; an attractive, emotionally mature woman who understands that it's not all about her. That was something seriously lacking in the preceding generation.
We have it all? Is he kidding? Wouldn't it be a better world if we didn't have to work, didn't have to have babies and husbands supported US? What's this "supporting" crap? Morton you are living in your little dreamworld and must be bitter that the Royal gravy train finally stopped rolling for you. 1) Royals ain't the same as us and really don't live by the same rules. 2) If you wanted Kate to shop at Wal-Mart, you wouldn't have anything to write about you blood sucking leech (you and Paul Burrell btw, bam!). 3) If they weren't royal, they'd still be horribly rich and what do you think non-royal people do? They take $70,000 skiing vacations! Jesus. And finally, SISTERHOOD??? What the h*** do you know about sisterhood? I am white and American and I will tell you all American women are proud of Michelle, but I have to tell you 95% of black women do not think of us as sisters. They are looking at Michelle (doing a terrific job btw) and going, "In your face, Whitey!" If I were Black, I would be sitting there going "Huh" because the the last president was white and now we are circling the drain because of him! Okay, too many co-mingled rantings, but thanks, it felt great to get that off my chest! And leave Kate alone! You're just trying to do a Diana on her and they are two completely different people. Andrew MORON.
Just a minute here - are you saying that there is no room in today's world for a person of either gender to choose to be old-fashioned? Not everybody is cut out for the contemporary female role model of I-have-it-all-because-I-can-do-and-have-done-it-all, and some who could don't want to. Are you saying that a twenty-first century woman does not have the right to choose to be a nineteenth-century wife?
And let's take one more thing into consideration: Prince WIlliam will be king. Period. It is not a job he asked for, it is not a job he seems to particularly want, but it is a job he has been admirably well-trained for. He has little or no choice. He will be king. It is not a day-job, or a career. It is a lifetime position that can never, ever be hidden from. It is not a partnership operation. Kings do not have equal partners in anything. It matters not if that is his desire, it cannot be. The King of England has a Queen Consort, not an equal partner.
If Prince WIlliam chooses to marry, the woman must clearly, and to her very bones, understand that this is no marriage between equals, even in the privacy of their thoughts. The kingdom must come first, even in this day of constitutional monarchy. A true king must be willing to sacrifice everything, absolutely everything for his people, including the opportunity for a marriage between equals.
Sound silly? Romance novel? Yep. But a king who is not willing to be that is at best a figurehead, and a woman who cannot accept it does not deserve marriage with a man of that calibre.
Morton is a bloodsucking tick.
Your whole premise is that because Middleton cares enough about her boyfriend to take an interest in what he's interested in, she's small, old-fashioned and irrelevant? Were more couples willing to take an interest in each others' interests, for the sake of building closeness and having something to discuss at the end of the day, the divorce rate might be drastically reduced. The implication that there is no Kate in their relationship--that William doesn't pay attention to the things that Kate finds interesting or that their marrying hinges entirely on William's saying the word--paints a narrow little chauvinist portrait. So much judgment, so little substance.
To finderj
"But a king who is not willing to be that is at best a figurehead"
newsflah for you thats exactly what the king or queen of England is a figurehead-its a constitutional monarchy-they have no actual power., they are just rich people in big houses.
Egads, Morton. The comparison of Middleton to Obama is so silly. Compare her to your Diana not an American First Lady.
It's apples and oranges, you silly twit.
Wow, I must say, this is one of the most impressive articles I have read on the Daily Beast. Bravo Morton. I commend how you addressed equality amongst all humans and the correlation between Michelle Obama's personal achievements versus Miss Middelton's. I dont belive the comparison is apples to oranges( like the commenter above me). They are both human and female. One is black. One is white. The difference one sees is based on upbringing, focus on personal achievement and equality between both genders. In order for the Monarchy to stay alive, I concur with Morton that it would be in the best interest of the royals to choose modern wifes.
Finderj-
Are you kidding, or are you a Dinosaur? I suppose you believe the kingdom should acquire slaves and the king should have several concubines to pleasure him while his precious Queen awaits. News Flash! The royals are all figure heads with self imposed superior blood lines.
If evolution really worked, these people would all have real jobs.
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
IMHO, Kate Middleton needs to get a job. Other than holding down a part-time job as an "accessories buyer" which BTW was procured for her via her parents' connection, the woman has not worked. Personally, she comes across as spoilt and silly. The smug smile doesn't help either.
"Andrew Morton is one of the world's best-known biographers. His groundbreaking biography of Diana, Princess of Wales, is a modern classic, while his latest bestseller, on Tom Cruise, has made headlines around the world. Morton's portrait of Monica Lewinsky revealed the young woman behind the blue dress, while his biography of Madonna nailed the myths and legends surrounding her controversial life". OMG who wrote this crap? Morton writes trashy quasi-biographies of totally irrelevant people. DB, why do you let people like Morton write for your publication?
They seem happy with each other and are doing what everyone expects them to do. Leave it at that. No one expects them to be the Obamas. The British monarchy and the American presidency - very different things.
TDB has become a weird hybrid -- Vanity Fair meets TMZ. Yuck.
What an awful article. If Michelle Obama and Kate Middleton are different kinds of people, bravo. Let each one be exactly who they are. Implying that Kate is a lesser human because she is not in the mold of Michelle is a really cheap, nasty shot. Let them both be exactly who they are, free from your cruel remarks.
Kate Middleton will enter a life of misery as she learns she can never satisfy an archaic and irrelevant system.
Snide little hypocrite...Andrew Morton would be sleeping on a sidewalk if it wasn't for the House of Windsor.If you want to trade Michelle Messiah for Kate Middleton,you have a f**king deal!
Here's a thought: perhaps Prince William wants to avoid the trap that snared his father and killed his mother.
Prince Charles had to suffer through a loveless marriage, embarrassing revelations, a nasty divorce and an all too public death and funeral before he could marry the woman he loved, the one he should have wed in the first place.
Diana was an unhappy mother as her son knows all too well.
William, one hopes, wants his future wife to enter the royal life with her eyes wide open.
So why is Morton Implying Kate is insincere in her devotion to William? Because she is a so called commoner?
Perhaps what Morton doesn't see is Kate learning the ropes of being in the British Royal Family.
Unlike Williams mother, Kate has had plenty of time to know what she's in for if she weds William. Learning how to be part of a modern monarchy in a tabloid society is, I suspect, hard work.
Everyone knows how unhappy Diana was most of her life, especially her children.
William would have to be a complete blockhead to replicate another generation of a miserable woman in the palace, one who can't cope with the enormity of being married o the monarch.
The only tragedy for Kate now - and William- would be if , for whatever reason, William dumps her for a sweet young know nothing. It could happen, I suppose. Yet would Charles actually let his legacy be foisted upon his son? It doesn't seem likely.
Thank you.
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