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Hollywood's New Hot Diet
How did this all begin?
In January, the New York Times Style section grabbed my attention with a cover story on the merits of cleansing. But again there were no real conclusions. Some doctors say it can do more harm than good, other say we can’t reach optimum health without it. The jury was out, but everyone was doing it. Americans spend millions of dollars a year on “cleansing and detoxification” products. The organic revolution reminds us each day that we are poisoning our selves. I am sure the sale of lemons has never been so good.
It is a fad. No one denies this. But does it really work? I spoke with cleansing expert Dr. Alejandro Junger, whose book Clean: The Revolutionary Program to Restore the Body's Natural Ability to Heal Itself comes out in May. Junger says absolutely we need to cleanse; that our natural detoxification systems can’t handle the amount of chemicals, pesticides, antibiotics, dyes and preservatives that we put into our bodies each day—it’s the reason we get sick, depressed, and lethargic. Juice cleanses alkalinize the system, removing the toxins and depositing them in the colon for elimination (a word I would get to know quite well).
It turns out coconut-milk powder helps removes bad bacteria from your system and feeds the good bacteria in your intestines. So now I’m convinced. I need this. How did I ever manage to get out of bed last week with all these toxins in my body? I finish my salad and have my third glass of fresh-squeezed juice. I want a coffee. A dull headache begins to form in the base of my cranium.
It’s a Saturday night and I am off to my friend’s apartment in the Dakota for a slumber party. The evening was meant to be filled with wine and pedicures and home-cooked meals. Instead we are knocking back Patron on ice and ordering Thai while I have another heap of MetaCleanser with some more homemade apple/carrot/ginger juice. I am hungry and trying really hard not to be grumpy or bitter. They laugh at me as they pass the pad thai and green curry. My stomach is doing somersaults and not because it’s hungry. I think the LaxElixir is kicking in. Aren’t I the perfect houseguest?
DAY 2. SUNDAY.
From this point on, the cleanse starts to go downhill. I awoke to more green coconut juice this morning. The rich Italian roast filled my nostrils as organic sludge filled my throat. It was so unfair. The MetaCleanse and Skin Renewal Elixir followed, each tasting like tree bark and hemp. I haven’t visited the restroom since Friday. I feel bloated and hungry.
I try distracting myself. I go shopping and find my waist has expanded threefold. This is worse than any PMS I have ever experienced. I am moody, crampy, and fat—and the worst part is I can’t even compensate with ice cream. No, I have to have another unsatisfying green juice. I go to the movies and watch Nicolas Cage get ravaged by aliens. Massive headache. Caffeine withdrawal? Could it be those four to six cups of coffee a day really do affect me? My skin does looks better. Could it be working? Can I really survive for another two days?
I return home and crawl into bed defeated, feeling miserable and still bloated. Bonnie was a liar. There was no fountain of rejuvenation. This is hell.
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
An old fashioned enema would have cleaned you out without going through days of starvation and pain. Sometimes there is some validity to the old ways.
Yes, you lost weight, because you didn't eat much! Amazing!
LOL I agree Picachu..I was going to post the same thing but you beat me to it.
So many have to have some "thing" that they use as entrance to a world they think exist without them..LOL Poor things. Take and exlax and find new friends that are healthy in mind and body without extreme needs to please and belong.
There's so many different kinds of cleanses. It's confusing. Wasn't there an article recently about the whole detox craze? We take it for granted that it is what it says it is, BUT THERE IS NO PROOF that toxins (whatever they really are) are expelled.
Fasting has a long history. Why not just call it that?
as someone who lost 100 lbs in the last year (the healthy way, by eating better and exercising), reading stuff like this is almost infuriating. starving yourself so you lose five pounds in four days is not healthy. it should be pretty obvious that if you're in that much pain and discomfort you're doing your body harm.
i still can't figure out why people think that just because someone has a recognizable name and got paid a lot of money to be in a movie or on tv, suddenly they're a reliable source for health tips. get real.
As a scientist I am amazed how readily people allow themselves to be fooled. "Cleansing", "detoxing" - all a bunch of centuries old lies.
Who says that my organs are damaged? What science is the need for cleansing based on?
Using less salt and applying sun screen also makes your skin radiant.
No thanks, I'd rather chew three meals a day.
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If you don't eat junk in the first place there's nothing to "cleanse". Just eat plenty of organic vegetables and lay off the junk.
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Two words: Italian sausage!
I use MetaCleanse all the time and have never had the bloating problem, but I don't fast or take the other things the author took. It sounds like if she got that constipated that she wasn't drinking enough water. The "Metamucil for the Soul" is actually a good description - MetaCleanse is ground flaxseed, fiber and bentonite clay. Native Americans and other cultures around the world have used bentonite for centuries as a natural medicine. http://www.metacleanse.com
My God.... 7 of the "Best of the Beast" are fluff entertainment pieces. I can't believe this site anymore.
Oh, for the love of reason: it's called 'the liver,' doofuses.
Try eating good, healthy, raw food as the bulk of your diet. Plenty of fiber to "cleanse" you and you get to EAT.
I rather go with a balanced diet than detoxing, which is more logical and safe than denying your stomach from solid food.
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http://alexius-locker.blogspot.com/
Such misinformation. All this organic, exotic crap is only enriching those who peddle it. Do a clinical trial and get it FDA approved if you think it's so awesome. Show me some real data on its effectiveness and then we'll talk.
At the end of the day, eating balanced and healthy is what wins. It's cool if you eat pad thai once a week, just not seven times a week. Balance!
blah-de-fucking-blah...what is this BS doing on the beast? here's the simplest, cheapest, healthiest, and most effective way to lose weight and stay in shape - eat good foods in small amounts throughout the day and exercise. enjoy your life and don't give a damn about what gwynneth and oprah are doing (because oprah is OBVIOUSLY the person one should look to for diet info...ahem...).
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
As a 10-year veteran of the natural foods industry, it disturbs me how readily otherwise intelligent individuals will purchase and consume cleanses and supplements off the internet. Would you be just as willing to purchase the same products out of the trunk of a car from a stranger in an abandoned parking lot? Supplement manufacturing in the US receive very little oversight and you would be surprised how few companies can provide content analysis (proving what they claim is in their product, is ACTUALLY in the product) let alone microbial assays and other measures which demonstrate the safety of the product. When you buy a product off the internet, like the cleanse you reference, you are essentially doing one of these technologically advanced shady back alley purchases. It takes very little to put up a website and get credit card processing service.
After navigating to the website you linked to, the first big red flag that went up was the absence of a Supplement Facts box. Any reputable supplement manufacturer has to submit a Supplement Facts box to the FDA for approval for every product they produce. They offer to give you instructions/ingredients, but they do not actually give you the ingredients and instead give you long convoluted instructions to distract you. This is classic misdirection in marketing.
Products available for retail usually undergo much more scrutiny before they even hit the shelves at your local supplements store. Take yourself to one of these stores and talk to one of the buyers. Ask them what they require from the companies they vend for assurance in purity, potency and quality.
Most importantly, for you own safety, don't buy any supplements off the internet until you have better educated yourself about where the product is coming from, what it actually contains, and what measures has the manufacturer taken to assure it's safety.
I have done a few colon detox's in the past and they really do work, check out "Blessed herbs.com".
You will not believe it but its 100% true what they say about Colon Mucous!! Once the thick rubbery lining came out of my colon I felt clean, was regular and about 5kg lighter.
For me it worked!
Thank you.
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