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A Sex Worker’s Guide to Craigslist
Mark Garfinkel, pool / AP Photo
Even since the murder that led to Philip Markoff’s arrest, Craigslist has been public enemy No. 1. Former escort Tracy Quan offers a guided tour of the Internet flesh industry.
In 19th-century London, a serial killer preyed on women who used the local streets and pubs to meet their customers. In the Internet age, we’ve gone from “Jack the Ripper” to “The Craigslist Killer.”
Philip Markoff’s arrest for murder, kidnapping, and robbery has put Craigslist in the spotlight, but it may be the wrong spotlight. People have gotten killed doing sex work for a long time, but let’s not sensationalize. Many jobs are dangerous, and the risk of being killed working through Craigslist, though terrifying, is thankfully rare. Online, sex workers deal with the industry’s standard risks of being arrested or cheated—or running short of work when you need the cash. “A lot of people are failing to listen to their instincts and their intuition because now it’s all about making the money and making it quickly,” says Lisa, an independent escort who advertises on Eros Guide, an adult Web site.
“If one of your regular clients isn’t around because of some recession drama, you might revisit Craigslist. People are using it when they need a quick financial fix.”
I know firsthand about hasty decisions. As a novice sex worker, I picked up my customers in the hotel bars of central London. A terrifying session, during which I thought I might be killed, made me appreciate that I needed to work for a madam—not just to upgrade my image, but to have a professional network to protect me.
But many young women still go the solo route, and though that’s always been an option, Craigslist has made it easier than ever to work when you’re in a financial pinch. Melissa Gira Grant, a reporter and former escort who covers the Internet sex industry, put her finger on an ambivalence that seems widespread. Even professional escorts who might not use Craigslist routinely will sometimes resort to it. “Nobody admits that they advertise on Craigslist, but everybody has at some point, no matter how upscale the rest of their marketing might be,” says Melissa. “If one of your regular clients isn’t around because of some recession drama, you might revisit Craigslist. People are using it when they need a quick financial fix.”
Lisa, for her part, prefers “cream of the crop” clients—men “who have more to lose, who are hesitant or cautious about meeting me”—and she is willing to wait the weeks or longer that it takes to screen them. But that is a luxury not all can afford. And, as Melissa says, “you’re more likely to make snap decisions using Craigslist, which increases your chance of being robbed or abused.”
Sex workers who do work solo try to at least maintain an informal communication network for safety purposes. Aaron Lawrence, a retired escort, quickly spread the word about a customer who assaulted him while he was working alone during the industry’s online transition period. “I can’t remember whether I met him online because half of my business still came from print ads in gay weeklies,” says Aaron of the violent customer. “I couldn’t breathe and I was choking.” When incidents like this occur, blacklisting is standard practice. Aaron warned other escorts about the client, but didn’t report him to the police: “He was a professional hockey player and I didn’t want to end up in the tabloids or be arrested myself.” But having a network of sex workers doesn’t always shield you from violent, abusive, or financially unreliable customers. There’s false security in thinking that a man who rips off a Craigslist escort won’t also target an escort on a high-end Web site.
In any case, Craigslist is no more to blame for a homicidal attack on a working woman than is the Marriott hotel where Julissa Brisman was killed, or the BlackBerry her accused killer probably would have used to establish contact with her. Questions arise about whether Markoff’s alleged violence is linked to a gambling problem—he was arrested while en route to Foxwoods in Connecticut—but it would be impolitic and irrational to call him “the Foxwoods Killer.” Why are we applying a different logic to Craigslist?
Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal scored some cheap political points this week, using Brisman’s death to revive a campaign against Craigslist that got him a lot of airtime last November. Exploiting the public’s naïvete about the Internet—with some gratuitous fear-mongering about child prostitution thrown in—he proposed a new crackdown on erotic ads. Melissa isn’t surprised by these tactics. “Blumenthal thinks all social-networking sites are full of child predators,” she says, “even though it’s been shown that online bullying by other children is the biggest risk. My question since November has been, ‘What public office does this guy have his sights on?’ A lot of people are hearing about Craigslist for the first time.” She continues, “They’re being told this is a dangerous place. If anything, Craigslist led us back to Markoff’s identity because they were able to connect the IP address with his home address.”
In other words, anything done through a computer can help track down a suspect afterward. Jack the Ripper is still incognito after more than a century, while Markoff was arrested in less than a month.
At best, though, Craigslist’s reputation in the business is mixed. “It’s more accessible to the masses than a chat room,” says Aaron, but it’s often described as “the No. 1 way to meet an undercover police officer.” Many escorts find the typical Craigslist guy “gross” or “sleazy”—looking for a half-hour of instant gratification rather than an ongoing business relationship. Diane, now a public-school teacher, told me about some of the types she encountered in her five-month stint as a Craigslist escort: “Once, a guy gave me the ‘I don’t have it’ routine. I marched him down to his bank and got paid.”
Melissa points out that there are ways to make any encounter safer: “Just because it’s Craigslist doesn’t mean you can’t ask him to meet you in public first. There will always be another Craigslist customer—it’s a revolving door.” Diane describes another strategy: “I thought it was safer to pretend I’d never done it before, and I asked for pictures,” she said. “Having his picture on my computer, he’s making a sacrifice as much as I am, and it’s almost like it disempowers the dude.”
One flaw in Diane’s system is that she became too concerned with “whether or not they were attractive.” Experienced prostitutes rarely allow a man’s looks to affect their business decisions. If Diane had seen Markoff’s picture? “I totally would have taken that job,” she says. “On the Craigslist scale of good-looking, he was all right.” On the other hand, a violent predator might not comply. “I don’t think someone with something to hide would send a picture.”
Lisa worries about the temptation to ignore preset rules: “You should err on the side of being cautious, even if it means turning down something lucrative. Before technology, it was all relationship-based, it was about who you knew. If you were a courtesan in Venice or Florence, everybody in the town knew the courtesan and her family. It’s very different now.” And, in some respects, more dangerous. Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis is urging sex workers to come forward if they were robbed after using Craigslist. His message—“we want to help you”—sounds more responsible than the Connecticut attorney general’s prohibitionist grandstanding. But I know, from my own experience, how a working prostitute can put a bad experience in the past and move on. Talking to the police is often risky, and we know that doing so can’t bring Julissa Brisman back to life.
Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
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Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
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Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
Bernie Made Off With My Wife
Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." Tracy's debut, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, and the sequel, Diary of a Married Call Girl, are international bestsellers. A regular columnist for The Guardian, she has written for many publications including Cosmopolitan, The Financial Times, and The New York Times.
I know many, many writers, artists, creative types who turn to sex work because "making it" as an artist or a writer or a poet or just about anything creative in this culture is usually just a brick wall built by the middlemen. Even the tokens are finding it difficult to be heard these days. As a whore, one learns the ropes with one's eyes and ears open. One trick is to get paid upfront. In cash. No pay? No play. I work with at-risk teenage boys. Every one of whom is an ex-whore. And every one of whom has HIV. Is this a job that can kill you. You bet. But it will put food on the table. Where creativity often only gets you sc***ed. "They (prostitutes) deserve what they get" is the typical Yank attitude. But then Yanks believe that about everything and everybody. Prostitution here in Amsterdam is regulated by the State although there are plenty of free-lancers around. Off-hand I can't personally recall instances of violence although I'm not saying it can't happen here. It can happen anywhere. But it seems to happen in America a lot. I don't know how you could walk away from "the life" without being aware that there is a connection between the violence and males who are definitely conflicted about sex and sexuality. For a male hustling, the best way to get educated is by the females. There are a lot of nuts and bolts they can tell you about that they aren't going to communicate to anyone in the media. Tim Barrus -- http://le-too.blogspot.com -- Amsterdam
The Yanks who liberated Europe-- and not incidentally The Netherlands-- with their blood, apparently didn't believe you deserved what you were getting from the Germans.
But, Europe forgets quickly. Unwilling as she has been for six decades to even defend herself.
"They (prostitutes) deserve what they get" is the typical Yank attitude. But then Yanks believe that about everything and everybody."
Except for all those 'yanks' who don't. Grow up.
"Sex workers"? Peel away the politically correct euphemism and you have whores, prostitutes, strumpets, harlots and the other serviceable words used over the centuries. Left-wing secularists would like to see a value-neutral phrase substituted, but why let 'em get away with it? Prostitution is a dirty business. Even the atheists will agree to that. Won't they?
ever see mike rowe's dirty jobs?
so, mr righteous and pompous, by your logic and to employ a universal convention:
would military whores, political whores, investment banking whores, literary whores, boxing whores, proctologist whores, fast food whores, plumbing whores, police whores, flight attendant whores, roofing whores, refuse service whores, crab fishing whores, hospital attendant and shudder the thought-" mama' ***** be appropriate and preffered?
thanks for getting to the core of the issue, -name calling.
don't forget those who we used to call slaves..they invented the banjo!
what kind of work do you do?
Let's be honest for a moment. There are two major factors that contribute to a person choosing never to prostitute him- or herself: having options and having self-worth. Most people, when they actually have options, will choose not to prostitute themselves. Most people would easily choose to make much less money at a "legitimate" career or job rather than make more money prostituting him- or herself.
Most prostitutes have no other option. The rest have no self-worth. Some have been dehumanized at some point in their lives (by some abusive person), so the choice to trade sex for money has been made a whole lot easier, because they see that trade as their only value. (And yes, you CAN apply that concept to anyone who treats their job as if they're whoring for it. However, even though some dude on Wall Street feels like he's a "whore", he would much rather be whoring it up on Wall Street that sucking d*ck in an alley OR in a 5-star hotel. Point is, trading sex for money, low rent or high end, is the bottom rung of the ladder.)
The myth of the "I love sex and I'm great at it!" sex worker is bullsh*t. It's basically a marketing tool to pump more money out of clients and the system in general. Healthy people with options want to have a real connection to their sexual partners, be that emotional and/or physical. Healthy people with options want to be attracted to the people they have sex with. People who have options don't accept money to have someone stick some body part into one of their orifices. You might as well see if you could also make money eating old gum from under tables, like the Jackass "whores."
That being said, I think prostitution should be decriminalized because it's the prostitutes who are the victims of society, not the other way around. Let's decriminalize it so we can protect these vulnerable and weak members of our society and make the issue public so we CAN help them develop more options in their lives.
And let's put the criminal emphasis on the buyers, not the sellers, after all it is the sellers that are the exploiters of the weak and vulnerable. Why does everyone accept so easily that it's somehow in men's "nature" to want to pay for sex? (Saying "men's" because they comprise the vast majority of clients.) Why doesn't anyone study how the johns have become people who want to pay for sex? Why are there such low societal expectations for how men will conduct themselves sexually? If I were a man, I would be offended by those low expectations.
Whoops! I mean it is the BUYERS who are the exploiters not the sellers.
Too right. By the way, my butthole hurts.
You're either a Christian or a f***in' troll. Either way, I hope your family abandons you on your deathbed and nobody prays for your soul.
Okay, but seriously, why the hate for your fellow human beings? Jesus hung out with prostitutes.
Banjo1, who seems to be a Right-wing Sectarian, puzzles me as do so many on the right who think Jesus and religion are their strength and us lefties are atheists on the way to hell. I recall Jesus' message as one of selflessness, tolerance and acceptance not selfishness, intolerance and prejudice.
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Wow, Banjo1, not even Jesus would agree with your nasty, disgusting little rant, never mind the atheists. Remember who His friends were.
"strumpets"???
1910 called - it wants it's slang back!
I think this alleged creepy guy, could have hurt anyone, it just happened he picked these people, he could have picked anyone from the list, that is what is scary.
Everyone is advertising on that list, and some adverts are advertising good jobs for people. And there is nothing answering an advert like that. It is perfectly legal. And what protects people from creeps who are using the list to trap them.
It is the same thing with walking. Anyone could be stopped by someone and asked for this or that, and of course ordinary people continue to walk, knowing how dangerous it is to talk to strangers especially 6ft 3 ones.
And that is the issue, in my opinion. This guy could have pretended to be any customer of any service, I guess he chose certain people, he thought would have money on them to rob and possibly might not report the crime, since most people would have their money in the bank or under their mattress and would report the crime, if they were still living after it.
I guess that is why there are calls to de-criminalize it, so people are treated with the same rights, and could put their money in the bank without fear of losing it or being charged with money laundering or whatever, and also could feel confident in phoning the police after being victimized by a criminal, preventing another person from getting victimized by the same creep.
The world has gone nuts, more people are desperate, and maybe that is why they should criminalize it. Anyone could have been "tricked" by this guy who was available to discuss whatever they were advertising.
OOPs I meant of course: ...and maybe that is why they should DECRIMINALIZE it. Anyone could have been "tricked" by this alleged creep, who was available to discuss or respond to whatever they were legally advertising. Which these girls were doing too. What they were advertising was perfectly legal, and that is why the alleged victims did report her loss and the crime committed against her. Because this alleged creep did hurt someone else after her. And she did the public a service by reporting it, and being a witness. And the other alleged stuff is a non issue right now.
And that is exactly what usually happens when anyone is a victim of crime, and why they should report crimes against them. The other stuff is another issue.
It sounds like Ms. Quan ends on a note where she suggests prostitutes shouldn't call the police after a trick has gone violently wrong. "Talking to the police is often risky," she says, but why should the next sex worker hazard that same risk?
Ultimately, Quan endorses the anonymity and secrecy that has shielded predators for so long. I prefer the advice of the Boston Police Commissioner: come forward after your life has been threatened or if there was a violent assault. The life you save may be your own.
Well, if they would legalize prostitution, like many countries have all over the world, prostitutes could come forward in these situations. But, our society has chosen to deny sex workers the right to police protection, although they are one of the most vulnerable sectors in our society. I think that's a horrible shame, a symptom of our selfishness and irrational self-righteousness. And as you point out, denying prostitutes the civil rights enjoyed by others in morally ambiguous professions-tobacco growers, weapons manufacturers, hedge fund managers-this irrational breach of the social contract endangers all of us.
Until we, as a society, see fit to extend basic civil rights to sex workers, they will remain second-class citizens who can be thrown in jail by any police officer. Their families abandoned, their income compromised, their freedom taken away. (For what, sex? Don't housewives and pornography actors also exchange sex for money?) Think about it. If we took your civil rights away, if we could throw you in jail on a whim, would you risk going to our police? I doubt it.
It never fails, no sooner does something like happen, a woman comes out of the wood work, and strips another women of their dignity, by not respecting her own discretionary power.
Anyone on that list could have been called. And that is what worries the owner of Craiglist. Because he is a smart guy and knows legitimate employers, I beleive are actually paying to be on that list, advertising for good workers, and this other stuff is degrading the quality of his site and also is destroying the reason why people would advertise through this site, to protect themselves.
At least people know what is possibly being advertised in the erotic part of the list. But noone knows which respondent is a potential killer, because he doesn't advertise that he is, that is why any person advertising on the list, is supposed to be careful. But the real creeps often look and act normal and a person isn't going to really be able to tell how bad a respondent might be.
Maybe the answer is the other way around. Maybe the customers should be advertising, and the servants could then respond.
Another solution could be advertising for participants in a porno movie which is legal on craiglist, with lots of wink winks. Right. I assume the participants in porno movies have sex, but are not being paid to have sex, no, they are being paid to make a movie while they are having sex.
Of course there are complications to every brilliant solution.
If killers, were sane, and didn't want to get caught, they may not apply if they thought they were going to be filmed, which of course this creep was filmed, in a round about way, on the surveillance security system of the hotel. That is partly how he was identified.
What is wrong with freeing up police time so they can look for evidence to bring torturers and other real criminals to court.
"Prostitution is a dirty business," as Banjo 1 puts it, because religious types (and the politicians who pander to them) would have us dedicate valuable resources and manpower to fighting an unwinnable war against an illegal sex trade rather than creating a standardized legal sex trade with enhanced protections against disease, violence, and, worst of all, human trafficking.
Legalizing prostitution not only makes the enterprise safer, it hurts the criminal organizations that feed and grow from it. With all due respect Banjo 1, what I suspect people like yourself really despise isn't the "value-neutral phrase," it's the value itself: You don't like the fact that people are willing to pay for sex and that other people are willing to provide it for payment.
"The Oldest Profession" is another value-neutral phrase concerning prostitution, this one suggests prostitution's been here a long while and probably isn't going anywhere anytime soon. We can't keep paying for wars we can't win just because there are those who aren't comfortable with the realities of the human condition (even though those realities are evident every time a preacher gets busted with a WHORE!). The failure to legalize prostitution due to this hypocrisy is what makes a "dirty business" a dangerous one. Even a religious person would agree to that. Won't they?
It should also be noted that he assaulted and robbed a woman in Rhode Island, where prostitution is legal. Moralist crazies here thought it would be a good time to rally in front of the state house to ban prostitution, as though that was the issue (or an appropriate time for victim-blaming.)
Legalizing prostitution would remove the stigma that serves to keep it in check, and using a term like "sex worker" is a step toward that left wing goal. The same people make the same argument for legalizing drugs. People want to do bad things, man -- if they ARE bad -- so why not let them? Nihilism is just a short step beyond that. "We can't keep paying for wars we can't win just because there are those who aren't comfortable with the realities of the human condition . . ." I don't know what this statement means. Are "religious types" the only people who find women selling their bodies and the men who rent them objectionable? I rather doubt that. Even rabid feminists seem uneasy with the practice, much as they'd like to regulate it. Prostitution degrades everyone involved. Is there anyone even here who disputes that? ibisko, you'll make more sense if you don't do drugs before you venture a comment on something.
But Banjo, prostitution and drug-selling/buying/taking ARE NOT being kept in check. They are, far and away, the two most common "crimes" in the world. And if you think about it (and I'm not sure you will think about it -- just jerk your knee around as usual), you will recognize that all of the evils prostitution and drugs bring to the society are a result of their illegality, and are not inherent to their existence, unlike real crimes like murder, theft, rape...and torture.
Yes, I dispute that. I've a number of friends who've been sex workers of one kind or another and they've actually all enjoyed it. They're not "damaged people," they weren't trying to fill blank spots in their lives, they hadn't succumbed to some life of drugs and money and blah-de-blah-de-blah; they all did it because they made a conscious choice and they were good at it and they happened to be attractive enough to do so. They've all retired from this, but they all made a bundle and were able to go on to something else. One of them was a high-priced escort in NYC who lived a life style and hung out with people I can only dream of. She's now working on her Ph.D., I think, but she always said that if the clientele hadn't started getting really weird long about the start of the Reagan Administration (no connection that I know of, just timing), she'd probably still be doing it. One was a stripper and pole dancer; she now owns a bookstore, and one was a glass-booth girl, who owns a successful business in Vancouver, B.C., where she moved when she got married. And so on. They enjoyed it, they're still healthy people, and they are comfortable with the choices they made.
But I agree that prostitution degrades every televangelist it touches because they're Not Supposed To Do It. So there's some truth to what you're saying.
To be fair to Ms Quain, I don't think she is suggesting that they don't call the police when victimized, I think she is just assuming they won't call.
And possibly Markoff did too. The alleged video of him would probably not be strong enough evidence on its own, and a witness will be needed and other supporting evidence, to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. And possibly Markoff was not counting on that.
It will be degrading and embarrassing for the witness, I am sure the defense will make sure of that.
People use that list for all kinds of things, I think there should be a separate list for this other stuff. That is just my opinion, and I guess I should add, an unsolicited one at that.
In smaller communities, Craig list is much more useful, than small local classifed sites or papers. I can't see people feeling the same way now about using the list.
But they are Yankintex. Much as I might want to some nights, I can't stroll to the corner or the downtown and buy a bag of heroin or the use of a woman. If you can, it's time to move to another neighborhood. Unless, of course, you write to defend your lifestyle and its choices.
So if sex worker is to value-neutral a phrase for harlots, strumpets etc then what about the men who utilize these services? What do we call them? Clients, customers, johns...seems like we could come up with better terms than that. I didn't realize that it was only the stigma of illegality that kept a greater majority of the population out of this profession. To think that if the left wing has its way I could be proudly declaring here is my son the lawyer and my daughter the sex worker.
"I didn't realize that it was only the stigma of illegality that kept a greater majority of the population out of this profession."
Still a tiny minority, carriel, unless you live in a really bad neighborhood like Yankintex. If you want an all-encompassing name for the men who use prostitutes, how about losers? Seems to say it all.
I think what you said was that it kept it in check. I can live with the term losers. I agree with Alice that options or a lack there of is a big contributer to this career path for many. I also don't think you have to live in a bad neighborhood to buy
drugs probably much easier to obtain them in fancy suburbs.
Banjo, if this war were winnable we could have a debate, but prostitution, with few exceptions, has always been illegal in this country, and that doesn't seem to have prevented it any (all it has done is lined the pockets of criminals, corrupt cops, and pols with dirty money), and now that it is only a mouse click away the problem will be less containable not more, and the side-effects will only get worse not better. To be practical, and it's just my opinion, but I think legalizing a "sin" has little effect on the number of sinners at large. Not to seem like a conspiracy theorist, but it seems like the wealthy and the powerful tend to legislate laws that maintain order among the rank and file, while the rich and powerful do whatever they please.
Why is there no call to ban handguns? Markoff used one to kill Julissa Brisman. Why is there no call to ban medical students? How many more, Mr. Speaker?
exactly. lets blame a harmless website for the crime, not a gun which was built to kill. what next? blame the phones? shut down at&t, verizon etc.? good point.
". . . while the rich and powerful do whatever they please."
I think you'd get an argument there from former Governor Spitzer, Larry Craig, most of the Kennedys, Bill Clinton and any number of other formerly high-flying politicians and corporate pajandrums. Legalizing prostitution will make it more common, just like legalizing drugs drew swarms of drug users to Holland (which, by the way, realized it went too far in making it easier for a woman to spread her legs for money and for drug tourists to get high, and is cutting back on both).
Decriminalizing or even making legal does not create a big glut of such workers, or has not in other places where it has been used (e.g. New Zealand). One of the reasons this is done is to stop the sex-slave trade (which thrives in the US and other places where prostitution is illegal), to ensure that victims of violence will come forward, to protect health, and if legal (vs. decriminalized), to get tax money.
Holland is cutting back a bit because the have been accused by the European Union of not doing enough to control sexual slavery (mostly Eastern European women tricked into coming West and then held in indentured servitude). They are only stopping "coffee shops" that were being setup outside the zone that has existed for years - they were not enforcing it well enough and are again.
The reality is that prostitution exists in every country and every area whether we like it or not. When criminalized, it is controlled by gangs and thugs, it is dangerous to buyer and seller, and it wastes a lot of policing time. When at least decriminalized (not the same as legal), it allows for more sane management.
Prostitution became illegal in 1800 in Amsterdam, so I think that the decision to change things >now< is not reflecting anything long-standing. As PKimelman says, it's far more about sex slavery--an odious thing, I agree--than prostitution as such.
The Kennedys and Bill Clinton are not predominantly known for consorting with women for pay. They just consort with women. There is a difference there. As for Larry Craig, I don't believe there was ever a contention that he was offering to >pay< for sex (correct me if I'm wrong); it's just lewd conduct that's against the law. So it sounds like you're against the sex part more than the paying for it part.
Wow, that's just great. This male escort warns "other excorts" but doesn't go to the police for fear of himself getting arrested. What a coward! Selfish, coward! So, let this sex attacker, professional hockey play or not, to possibly attack someone else. Maybe kill the next person! You are a weak, coward and hope karma comes back to bit you in the arse!
Actually, what Aaron did was more helpful than you realize. He did not have faith in the police because he is a gay sex worker. The cops have a poor track record when it comes to protecting sex workers from assault - especially gay men. But Aaron did more than the police would ever do to reach out to people who could come into contact with this man. He took responsibility for protecting his own community. And for that he gets a lot of respect from other sex workers. We do not regard him as a coward. You need to learn more about these issues before you pass judgment.
Common sense dictates that a person who assaults one person is going to assault another, or maybe even worse, and at least he could have reported it anonymously to crime stoppers.
No one in the mainstream world will know what is going on otherwise, and typically police are the ones who carry the guns and can legally shoot the creeps if necessary.
Thank God the woman who was murdered in this case had a friend who did call the police, and exercised her right to access the legal system. I won't call it a justice system.
The woman in this case was advertising masseuse services. I think someone is being a hypocrite when judging others to be judgmental, She wasn't advertising escort services so why are we judging her as if she was?
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I have a huge problem with the article. I have no problem with prostitutes trying to protect themselves, but the tone of the article is seemingly advocating prostitution. It is like, "Hey, short of cash, just take these precautions and you can be a prostitute."
Most prostitutes and strippers have been documented in many different studies to have been sexually traumatized at some point in their lives. I am sure there exists the economic hooker, but I would argue just by surveying their literature output they seem to be exceedingly materialistic and won't submit to a more modest lifestyle. This is not an admirable lifestyle and I believe Ms Quan and others should maybe have some shame regarding their choices. Call me a prig!
Oh please. I'm no hooker but I have had sex, and if someone was going to give me a couple hundred bucks to give 'em hand job and I was starving....not a tough choice. Get off your high horse...I think Ms. Quan is just pointing out that it's more common than one might think.
I think the point here is this: WHY DO SEX WORKERS EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE? I have been crushingly poor during my lifetime--I was dirt poor and raising 3 kids. I never once thought of sex work as a solution. Not because of moral or religious issues--I am primarily a Buddhist, but of issues concerning boundaries--mine and theirs, and deep issues concerning the sacredness of my sexuality and my sexual organs. They and me are not for sale! And yes, I have heard the old ditty about marriage being legalized prostitution, but I was married briefly and have been single (as a parent and now as an older woman) almost my entire adult life, so I don't think I sold myself down the river for a partner! NO, I did what most women do--I worked my ass off for low wages and quite a bit of abuse, but I kept my self respect, my boundaries, my sacred sexual energy and my integrity intact.
prostitutes put themselves in a very vulunerable position, and many get beat up or killed.
It is interesting how the most popular news stories are the ones that are most dramatic. Panic ensues from stories like this, although murders are rare compared to the big picture. Crime through keyword sources such as Craigslist are even more rare. It's really sad how when the lay reads, hears, watches the news, judgement is quick upon the crime source. It really doesn't make any sense, just ignorant paranoia.
I personally think that Craigslist is a great tool to connect with members of our society, whom we wouldn't have otherwise. I have used Craigslist ride share traveling up and down California and have met learned from the most progressive, intellectual, interesting people. One criticism I receive from sheltered, naive friends and family is, "aren't you afraid that the person you pick up is a psycho killer?" The probability of this happening would be the same as walking down the street.
As for the prostitution thing, you get what you ask for. I have posted erotic ads many times, because I find my social experiments intriguing. I post ads that will attract men who are looking for an intimate connection. At the end of the day, I am selling my body, but it's deeper and not as simple as that. People need to have that intimate connection. During most of my meetings, I do feel like I am doing more with the client than the physical. I make a mental and emotional connection. It really almost is like therapy at $400 an hour ;) I have a gift that I honestly love to share. These connections created friendships that I wouldn't have otherwise. It is the social stigma that makes me feel trapped.
I'm sure if I posted ads using only suggestive photos and misspelled words, the quality of my responders would be definitely different. We have to change the way society thinks about money. One should never do something just for the money. That is simply whorish! Call me idealistic, but I honestly would rather be broke than to do something just for the money. Perhaps the negative social stigma of prostitution would be removed if more of these women were more educated, and emotionally and psychologically more stable. Unfortunately, since sex is such an easy act with a large payback, it draws many women who think they have no other options. The saddest thing about this is that physical sexual beauty is age limiting. What do these women do when they age? How do we go about educating and implanting a thirst for knowledge rather than a thirst for cash?
Thank you.
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