Blogs and Stories
The Bag Lady Papers, Part VII
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Louis Lanzano / AP Photo
Madoff victim Alexandra Penney, who lost her life savings in the ponzi scheme, on Bernie's dirty fantasies, living the frugal life, and some post-Ponzi schadenfreude—like seeing Ruthie's roots. Here’s the latest entry of her ongoing blog for The Daily Beast.
Bernie Madoff’s longtime secretary blabbed big time on Good Morning America yesterday morning. Innocent little Ruthie may have a few issues with Bernie’s nefarious massages and dirty fantasies, but she is still flouncing around with the many millions she withdrew just days before the MF confessed. She still has the colossal cojones to say all that dough is what she personally earned. Hah! Will somebody please tell me when the feds are gonna close in on her?
Much has happened since the loathsome caviar-coddled MF was caged and forced to wear an adorable orange prison costume.
Bag lady fears and visions haunt me at my usual 4 o’clock waking hour, when the world is a monotone gray and bleak, and I am stone-cold terrified of what will become of me. I compulsively add up every dollar I could make from selling everything I have. But occasionally a new fantasy surges through my beleaguered brain, and it helps to declaw the demons.
I am in a shadowy, but elegant, opium den straight out of Colette. I’m lying on a pale-blue silken chaise, taking long, languorous drags on a hookah, which numbs the angst and transports me far away from reality. Sadly, such a spot would be quite difficult to track down—and in any case, it wouldn’t comport with my new budget.
Last week, the bill for brakes on my dented white ’95 Mercedes wagon came to a whopping $671.41, which prompted me to write—again—to the trustee of the Madoff bankruptcy, Irving Picard, Esq., inquiring, as a personage in dire financial straits, when the Securities Investor Protection Corp. money would be distributed. Madoff investors are allegedly eligible for up to $500,000 in life-saving SIPC insurance. (Madoff claimed to be a member of SIPC, which means cash and securities held by the brokerage firm may be protected up to $500,000.) I’ve just finished the first draft of my book and am surviving thanks to the first installment of a book advance the publisher has paid me.
It’s the unforeseen bills like brakes for the wagon that can stop me in my tracks. I’m now quite adept at polishing my own nails, ironing my weekly supply of white shirts and Frette and Deborah Sharpe linens, and living a Most Frugal Life. The small amount of Madoff money I withdrew every quarter has, of course, disappeared. And the art market, which I depended on for the bulk of my income, has almost completely succumbed to rigor mortis, but luckily I’ve just sold a few photographs.
I was a big shopper in my day, but since the MF debacle the urge has, thank God, vanished. I confess to paying $16 for a perfect-fit Bill Blass pleated skirt that I spotted in a Palm Beach thrift shop. That’s been my one and only purchase since Dec. 11.
Florida, especially Palm Beach, was the prime feeding ground for the MF, and the stories I heard down there were appalling. I recently met one of West Palm Beach’s finest, a man more gorgeous than Denzel Washington and the possessor of a master’s degree in sociology. After a few minutes of chatting, the subject of distressed sales of homes across the bridge came up.
“That’s all part of this Madoff thing,” the gorgeous one said. “The guy is on everyone’s mind here. You wouldn’t believe the number of my friends, firemen and cops, whose pensions and retirement he robbed. I’m one of the lucky ones who wasn’t affected.”
Once again, I am stunned at how the lack of government oversight has damaged so many human beings throughout our society.
So many have troubles far worse than mine. Elderly people have been forced to sell their homes with no way to earn an income and no one to turn to. What are they going to do? Where’s the SIPC money? Their daily lives are hell. As of a few weeks ago, only 12 checks had been issued—and not one more has landed in needy hands. What the f—k is going on here?
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The Bag Lady Writes a Book
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
The Bag Lady Photos
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
Fantasy Shopper
Alexandra Penney is an artist, best-selling author, former editor-in-chief of Self magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Her new book, The Bag Lady Papers, comes out in February from Hyperion. She also had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami’s Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
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reader1977
Ma'am, your outrage is tiresome and crass. I'd like to point out that, the fact that you were one of the "elite" Madoff investors in the first place indicates that your previous net worth was significantly higher than, say, the poor Enron employees who lost their entire life savings to others' greed and corruption. Given that fact, you should have known better than to give someone - anyone - every dime you ever had. With money to invest in the first place, you weren't savy enough to learn from other people's very high profile mistakes? You point to everyone's lack of due diligence but your own. Do you not feel even the least bit ashamed at your own foolishness? Please spare us your righteous indignation. It is insensitive and insulting to real victims. And bag ladies.
willow30
Wow. You are cruel. If you read all of Ms. Penney's installments, you'd know that she did double check Mr.Madoff's, let's say, 'reliability.' Regardless, the amount of money she had was just as hard-earned as Enron investors and employees (who you must obviously also blame for not doing their due diligence, or would you call it their foolishness?) The investors are not experts, which is why the criminal chose them in the first place. You're the one who should be ashamed for attacking a victim of a crime, instead of giving the perpetrator a pass. Please spare us YOUR righteous indignation.
flyoverland
You are so right. The bill for my Lexus 460L's oil change and tire rotation was $495 yesterday. Life is a bitch.
Banjo1
I feel for this woman, but her story is getting a wee repetitious.
frankregan
I read AP's first posting a week or so after this first broke and she was still the floaty, genial, sort-of-rich woman who's been slapped in the face and is still breathless and in shock. This posting is rougher and cruder. The anger is manifest and she's getting vulgar. This woman is not going to live in genteel penury. She's going to be a ranting Valkyrie all the way to a geriatric facility paid for by Medicaid. This might not be a bad thing; the pride she took in her 42 white shirts was a waste of time. I'm looking forward to a posting a year from now when she's really raging and all of her graciousness has been trashed. It will be most amusing.
willow30
Hey frankregan... You come across as an abuser in your posting. Who the hell are you to criticize someone who is venting about having been cheated out of everything she's worked for. She has every right to express herself and relay her true feelings to the reader. If you are so puritanical perhaps you should have stopped reading after the first 'vulgarity.' The words Ms. Penney uses to describe the criminal are perfect, even necessary in order to relay her emotion. What would you call him if this was done to you? Or is it that you are so bothered by Ms. Penney's story because she's a woman who's made it in a man's world (and now you're reveling in her loss)? Someone needs to continue fighting for the victims' rights, both men and women, and she's courageous enough to stand up for them, as well as to numerous callous individuals like you. Oh... and don't get your hopes up too high about Ms. Penney ending up on Medicaid (what a cruel thing for you to say), because she will rebound from this stronger than ever.
As you sound so abusive, I guess it should be no surprise that you would attack a female victim of the crime instead of the criminal himself. In some peoples' minds, that is vulgar.
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satyricaldude
If you're serious about saving money, get a cheaper car, sweetheart. Insurance on that Mercedes has got to be a bitch. Don't you live in Manhattan anyway? I don't even own a car.
oddie303
you really must be poor, if you think a 95 benze wagon is nice. haha
Youwot
Seriously - 10 year old BMW and Mercedes are great purchases. I have just bought one for about $4000 - and it should get another 100,000 miles. Insurance is great as well you only need 3rd party on $4000 car.
Or have I missed the point - and you were just wanting to be mean???
rwbuck
I can't believe she actually has to iron her own shirts...my God, what are we coming too!!!
puke...gag....barf....
southred8
Excuse me! Ladies go buy a Toyota Camry.Apparently you think people totally judge you on the make of your car.If they do then they are just as shallow as you are!This is nonsense.Obviously very few of any investors will receive any money back.You wanted to have your money with Madoff because of the perceived as a mamber of "the golden group".You lost.Go to work, buy a Toyota and be glad you have your health .I am in my 60's and have worked over 46 years and are now working 2 jobs, so don't cry on my shoulder.
sophia5
You're asking Barney Frank to take a leadership role?
Wasn't Barney Frank one of the architects of the current economic mess?
Isn't that asking the fox to guard the hen house?
willow30
Why would you bring up partisan politics? You pick out one name in the blog to criticize, instead of giving the author credit for being pro-active. She's not only fighting for herself, she's trying to move the process along for everyone. Since you bring it up, foxes have guarded the various 'henhouses' (government departments) for the last eight years.
carouzer
"Bag lady fears and visions haunt me at my usual 4 o'clock waking hour, when the world is a monotone gray and bleak, and I am stone-cold terrified of what will become of me. I compulsively add up every dollar I could make from selling everything I have."
Oh, please. Isn't this the silly bitch who recently signed a book contract to chronicle her pathetic plunge into the realm of the middle class? Oh, the pain. Apparently Mommy and Daddy never took the silver spoons out of their mouths long enough to tell their darling daughter that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Why don't you ask some of your rich friends who were smart enough to beware of Bernie to lend you a little money so you can keep the Mercedes on the street. You are amazingly tedious--enough, already!
TER137
If she'd made use of some artistic license and replaced "Mercedes" with "Toyota," I could relate.
sophia5
Are you a Fendi Bag Lady,
a Coach Bag Lady,
or Loius Vuitton Bag Lady?
Or just an old Bitter Bag?
Siouxie921
I question some of the comments in this article. Firemen and cops' pensions invested with Madoff? I find that really hard to believe.
dcbooknurse
Not the individual firemen or cops. The people running the pension funds invested with Madoff. So did people running scholarship funds and other charities. It's not just the upper classes who were affected by this.
cutmetothequick
I'm amazed that a person with the credential's below, and with all those amazing friends, could get herself involved in a "get rich to good to be true" scheme. Welcome to our world, get a cheaper car.
Alexandra Penney is an artist, bestselling author, former editor-in-chief of Self Magazine, and originator, with Evelyn Lauder, of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness. She had a one-person show at Galerie in Berlin in April and her work was shown at Miami's Art Basel. She lives in New York, has one treasured son in Los Angeles, and more amazing friends than could ever be imagined.
tomgtv
Yes this same old story is getting old. Once SPIC pays
off $500K to each of these bird brains complements of me
the taxpayer what will they bitch about then? $500K is way
more than most Americans have in liquid wealth. That plus
SS will tide you over til the next life.......so go get on with
your current life.....you seem to be doing much better than most.......pardon me I've run out of pity pills.
ArielAZ
Yes, dear, it's all about you, isn't it? But, then, you only have to think about selling your things, you've kept your car, your shirts, your NY and FL properties (and Long Island too I'm sure), etc. Your only real suffering appears to be budgeting. Boo hoo. I would even go further than a Camry--check out the Scion, what a fabulous little car the xD is and tres au current. And try buying on the internet, especially after doing a comparison search. The savings are stupendous and you don't have to dress up for the sales people. Just a tip from a fellow middle-classer. You can do it if you get your mind out of the gutter and off of Bernie. One suspects you fantasize about him in more ways than revenge. Oh, and get a sense of humor, please, not to mention charm.
Thank you.
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