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The Last Erotic Massage
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As Craigslist begins monitoring its adult-services classifieds, The Daily Beast sent one intrepid reporter on a final booty call.
The Kilted Massage Man is here to make those of you born with a Yoni a very special offer. If you have never had a Yoni Massage I will teach you the art of slow, deep-breathing. Be prepared to take some time.
The ad went on like that for a full page, in perfect grammar, explaining the basics of tantra, the verbiage obviously tweaked to perfection over years on Craigslist. I skimmed quickly and fired off a response. Dear Yoni. Your Craigslist ad caught my eye.
He responded immediately. No, YOU have a Yoni. I have the tools to satisfy the Yoni.
Right. “Yoni” is the Sanskrit equivalent of vajayjay. Of course.
Having had this experience, I can tell you that it changes everything. I had no idea you could arrange and enjoy a tantric massage with such ease.
I was on assignment for The Daily Beast, looking for a fling on Craigslist’s “Erotic Services,” a section of the online classifieds which, as of last week, is being monitored to prevent transactions precisely like this one from happening. The monitoring is part of Craigslist’s public-relations offensive to counteract negative media coverage around Philip Markoff, the Boston medical student deemed the “Cragislist Killer”; Craigslist wants to show that it’s trying to prevent the prostitution that it has up until now facilitated. To wit: I found hundreds of ads to choose from, offering all manner of sexual exploits, some directly asking for cash, some making clear that “donations and roses” (read: cash) would be accepted.
Kilt Man and I emailed back and forth. Would I like to meet for coffee in a public place? Why was I interested? He attached a picture. He looked like a jolly masseuse. In a kilt.
As a matter of personal preference, I was much more comfortable with Kilt Man than, say, “Bishop,” one of many advertisers of indeterminate age, employment, and location, who listed his phone number four times and offered a nice sensitive massage WITH EXTRA.
My safety logic was the following: Kilt Man had been successfully advertising on Craigslist long enough to have a schtick (the kilt), a perfect ad (complete with illustrations) and no complaints anywhere on Craigslist (rants and raves had not a single mention of Kilt Man). And he used his real name in his email to me, which I background checked. Chances are that his customers weren’t disappearing.
We agreed on a daylight meeting. And I asked about protection: Would you be comfortable wearing gloves?
He responded. The Kilted Massage Man had a latex allergy. Of course. I spent an hour sprinting to four drug stores, three of which were sold out of the blue non-latex Nitrile gloves I sought.
When I arrived, he led me to his living room, and we sat on his couch and gabbed for 40 minutes. He reminded me of the fathers of my friends—50ish, slightly chubby, a bit dorky, friendly eyes, and inviting cheeks. Probably 210, with notably muscular hands, the sort you want to immediately plant on your shoulders.
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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That was what I was saying on that other blog, that masseuse was possibly really a masseuse, and until there is evidence of anything else, that is in my mind what she was, and her killer was a creep. He looked like a creep, that is why I think the internet can be dangerous, cause normally people's lives wouldn't cross the way they do now. The personal ads, as far I can see are still on there, they don't even seem real.
in the day people's lives crossed in the street which was where most all the sex business got done.. it was an environment sometimes over real and back then i don't think girls got a fair shake.. i think the rules are that you don't do much on the first date and the first time is always free.. but to be a styling momma arianne you shoulda thrown some money at him.. "buy yourself some new shoes baby.." is what you shoulda said
The way you put it the whole thing grosses me out. the way she writes it doesn't sound so bad. She could have given him the receipt for the gloves, so he could possibly exchange them from money. The world has gone nuts.
Well written peace. But as I man, I am surprised on how often women find a way in differently what constitute sex. Will you be ok if you boyfriend or husband come home and inform you that he just got Erotic massage? Well I know for sure mine will not go well at.
Going to get erotic massage is as sexual as it can be hence it is sex. At this age we don't need a "penis entering a vagina" to call it sex
I think it's too bad that Craigslist is giving in to pressure and shutting these listings down. As if that's going to stop people from hooking up with dangerous strangers. They'll just move to the regular dating section of the site instead.
I have a friend whose family member was murdered by a woman he met on the list. The interesting thing to me has been the total lack of publicity about it. Is it only news when women are murdered? The thing is it would have never occurred to us to put the blame on the listing service. He engaged in some very risky behavior, and paid the ultimate price for it. The responsible parties are in jail, presumably for life.
Even the most uninhibited woman has so many distractions wrapped up in a typical partner romp: the status of the relationship, who's reciprocating what, how she's performing, whether her hair has crossed from "sexily tossled" to "2 a.m. drunk."
Like guys don't know this!
I find this sort of thing very weird. Is the author a woman completely devoid of morals? What sort of loose slut takes up an assignment to check out sex ads on craigslist and then write about it? More to the point, who thought this would be a good article for an established news website?
Your narrow view of the world is the problem, not the author's or this site's.
You're either a troll or an idiot. Probably both.
What evidence do you have that the author is "completely devoid of morals"?
Seems to me she did absolutely nothing immoral - the encounter was safe and consensual, and, furthermore, likely perfectly legal (I do not know the exact location of this encounter, so I cannot presume absolute legality).
Your willingness to call the author a "loose slut" only reveals you to be close-minded and deeply prejudicial, if you can't see merit in anything that you find "very weird".
The author states that she was "on assignment... looking for a fling on Craigslist's "Erotic Services..." I find that statement to be indicative of a lack of morals.
Oh, she did nothing immoral to be sure, but only, it seems, because the situation did not present itself. Certainly she was looking for, and her writing indicates was expecting, some kind of sexual encounter. If she was not, then her article was disingenuous at best, given what I have already quoted.
Safe, consensual and legal do not constitute morals.
Your accusations of 'close-minded' and 'deeply prejudicial' are of course foolish, as it is an entirely subjective opinion. I make no excuses about my opinion.
I find merit in weird things, but this was not one of them.
This is a great idea for an article, because most of us would never find out what Mr. Kilt does otherwise, and it is interesting and fun reading.
Grow up. Adults are allowed to do things like this. Further, adults DO do things like this. All the time. And it is the job of journalists to report on all aspects of the human condition. Anything less is censorship, which is what it sounds like you're advocating.
Well, the funny thing about 'growing up', as you so limply put it, is that you also have to act like an adult, which means allowing others to express opinions that differ from yours.
The fact that adults do 'things like this' has no bearing on the argument of whether it is lascivious or not. It is a terrible argument.
I prefer my journalism to be about important issues, and occasionally frivolous issues, not trawling for sex on the internet. That may be your kind of journalism and you're welcome to it, but it's not mine.
"As Craigslist begins monitoring its adult-services classifieds, The Daily Beast sent one intrepid reporter on a final booty call."
1.These are the first two sentences of this article. I finally it highly improbable that you were unable to figure out the direction the article. Why did you continue reading?
2 Google, Facebook, Twitter, Daily Beast, Ebay, and CRAIGSLIST are part of the cultural zeitgeist and are covered by the media constantly. This subject is entirely newsworthy. NYtimes racily covered it as well
3. You should be concerned that the erotic market has been curtailed. I bet it has been a long while since anyone has shared a bed with you. Now the only choice is back the corner ladies.
Kudus to this courageous reporter and DirtyBeast for bring us the story
Am I reading this correctly-- she didn't pay the guy or even tip him after her nice "massage"? I'm confused.
ok, she gets paid for doing the article and the guy gets nothing.
if this is his work, why did she not pay??
because she's such a "cute young thing" that the old guy should just be happy to have had the experience?
the morality here is off. why was there a question in her mind about payment? OF COURSE SHE NEEDED TO PAY.
i'm not confused, she's a cheat.
I think the idea is if she paid for an erotic message then it was the same as paying for sex, which is illegal. So she gave him a box of gloves instead. What a horrible way to earn a living. Of course she is cute and everything, but money pays the bills.
Thank you.
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