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My Address—and Apology—to Yale
Life used to imitate John le Carré novels. Now it imitates Tom Clancy novels. As an English major, I’m not sure this represents progress.
As for China, it’s no longer a commie dictatorship. Its rulers just don’t think that the people should be able to access Google. Today, Americans love China. In fact, we’re indebted to China.
But perhaps most amazing—most cool of all—America finally elected its first African-American president.
A Harvard man.
OK. But remember—it might not have happened if it hadn’t been for a Yale man. George W. Bush.
So the future is hard to call. If you’re lucky, and you all look lucky to me, in addition to being darned smart and really good-looking…if you’re lucky, your futures will be hard to predict.
I say “lucky” because I think one of the most exciting things about life is its unpredictability.
As Dorothy Parker put it, “What fresh hell is this?”
Whatever you think lies in store for you, there’s a pretty good chance it’s going to turn out differently.
As the Yiddish proverb goes, “Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.”
Today I’d revise that to: “Want to make God laugh? Show him your 401(k).”
Now I don’t know exactly how to advise you, here. To be honest, I’m still trying to figure it all out myself.
They used to screen late-night movies in Linsley Chit. Maybe they still do. Almost every night, in those happy, bygone days, you could catch an Ingmar Bergman movie, for a buck. What better way to unwind after a long night at the library than sitting in hard upright wooden seats, watching incomprehensible black-and-white Swedish art movies?
And every night, it always happened: Right at the climactic moment when Death was playing chess with Max von Sydow and the eerie music was swelling and you didn’t have the foggiest idea what the heck these brooding Swedish persons were talking about, someone at the back of the room would shout out, “What does it mean?”
Your generation, being more sophisticated than ours, came up with an all-purpose answer to that pressing existential question—Whatever.
We didn’t have that word in our day. It was your generation that came up with the whole concept of “whatever.” And on behalf of my generation, I want to say, Thank you. It’s just brilliant and philosophically airtight.
There is no proposition, no argument, dogma, asseveration, boast, or claim that can’t be stopped dead in its tracks by an American teenager with an iPod in his or her ears saying, “Whatever.”
Try it.
To be or not to be. Whatever.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Whatever.
Mission Accomplished. Whatever.
But whatever life holds in store for you, remember the words of that most quotable of American philosophers, Yogi Berra: “When I come to a fork in the road, I take it.”
Your first fork is right there on the other side of Phelps Gate. And my advice to you is—take it.
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Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
BeastofBourbon
Very nice address, Mr. Buckley. I'll bet the class of ought-nine was grateful to have you speak to them. Hope they laughed at hearing this address as much as I did reading it and gave you a proper standing ovation.
jzerbey4
Mr. Buckley, just read Losing Mum and Pup. Great story. I am President & GM of The Blade in Toledo, OH and we did a book review. I would like to send it to you but have no clue for an address. Would you mind sending instructions. Love all the books, they make me laugh at night when the days in this buisiness make me throw up! Joe Zerbey at jzerbey@toledoblade.com
amsanvel
Mr. Bucley. Thank you. It`s so refreshing to read something that is clever and at the same time funny... 'Whatever-proof', that was brilliant.
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xbainx
pricklypear didn't go to college.
Ritarita
Oooh prickly-
You got scrubbed.
Bad bad girl.
I read it though-
Hahahahaha.
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Ritarita
I do think
The censorship
Here is getting
A little heavy-handed.
And unnecessarily so.
EricLightborn
"This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors"
I don't dig it. If your going to remove comments you might as well just remove the whole comment section. What's the point?
scough
It's because they (the editors) have that toxic combination of self-importance and no sense of humor. Most of the comments are so glowing, I have to assume they are planted.
AIDSRiddenActivist
@Eric - Good call. Tina Brown flubs another one.
Sempronia
what on earth did you smoke while writing that?
whatever.
btw, we penn people would like to thank you yale people for screwing up the government so spectacularly, as it distracts from what our people did to the economy...;-)
sarakaplan
See! You done good!
photoshock
In the words of my eighteen year old son, 'it's all good Dad!"
This was just the laugh and words to hear at a graduation, they make sense and give sound theological advice.
'Whatever,' sounds best when applied to the situations in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Tajikistan, wherever the hell that is.
No more of this Yale/harvard application of foreign policy, we need real foreign policy wonks, who can see the light of day and work the martini circuit. This of course leaves out the Far
Right Wing Nut section of the Grand Orgy Party, for they would never use alcohol. G-d Forbid, they should indulge in one of life's pleasures.
Thank you Mr. Buckley, for the commentary on today's society and the honesty to admit when you have made a mistake. Whatever and it's all good Dad!
Tahoe58
Excellent. its all good in the end, and if it is not good, then its not the end, yet. Reminds me of a rather funny story from my own school days.
reulejr
the best of all graduation speeches i have heard or read this year!
middlesex43
I left Yale with George Bush's father just as Buckley's father was beginning his tirade against left-wing faculty. Christopher is the best gift Bill Buckley ever gave to his alma mater or to the rest of us for that matter.
nodrama
Very funny. Buckley has mastered the genre of high falutin' trash talk.
RuthAnn
Having read "Losing Mum and Pup" this week (a highly recommended read for anyone who enjoyed this address), it is interesting that Buckley neglected to include the four-letter-incident and the subsequent gift. Because he included the fact that Dad gathered the relatives and split early, leaving Christopher wondering where they were. Dad explained later that he thought Christopher must surely have had other plans.
skorpeo
well said, mr. buckley.
whatever.....
lawrted
Nice speech, Mr. Buckley. But Mr. Rumsfeld didn't go to Andover-- he is a proud Trevian, having graduated from New Trier, in Winnetka, IL. So perhaps there is still hope for Andover yet.
magicman
Hahahahahahahaa ... I'm sorry Buck, but it is funny. Much better than Mr. Kendall ... fer sure!
No Nietzsche on your bathroom wall?
hockeydog
Some assert that young Buckley was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, from an incomprehensible, intellectual snob of a sire. But every time I read, or see him speak, he simply exudes lightness and joy. This speech was no exception.
Thank you.
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