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Why We Love to Hate Kate
Heidi Gutman, ABC / Retna Ltd.
From Kate Gosselin to the housewives of New Jersey, loathsome suburban moms are having a moment. Diane Clehane talks to her friends and neighbors about our national addiction.
From Kate Gosselin to Bravo’s newest Housewives from New Jersey, I’m obsessed with the entire spray-tanned, French-manicured sorority that has managed to turn suburban motherhood into compulsively watchable—albeit train wreck—television.
In this age of living with less of everything, from money to expectations, even our celebrities have gotten smaller. A lot smaller.
I’ve never been a regular watcher of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise. But for some inexplicable reason, I just knew I had to watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey—and I can’t stop watching. These five women, who clearly shop at the same places Carmela Soprano did, make the screeching strivers from New York look tame.
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And then there’s Gosselin, TLC’s new cash cow and one half of the formerly wholesome, bickering twosome of Jon & Kate Plus 8, about as prototypical a suburban couple (with eight children) as you’d ever find on television. The pair has been transformed into the recession era’s Brangelina, with a record-breaking number of tabloid covers to prove it.
When I see photos of Kate in her red leather (or is it pleather?) jacket and denim miniskirt striding through the airport with her bodyguard, or read stories of a Jersey housewife’s plans to launch a children’s accessory line, I am struck by the thought that in this age of living with less of everything, from money to expectations, even our celebrities have gotten smaller. A lot smaller.
And yet I find myself equally repulsed and fascinated by these women. In an effort to find out why, I decided to ask some of my friends, the “real” housewives of Westchester, to weigh in on the phenomenon. Not surprisingly, no one who copped to watching these domestic divas in action wanted their names used.
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Jeff Madrick is a contributor to the New York Review of Books and a former economics columnist for the New York Times. He is editor of Challenge Magazine, visiting professor of humanities at Cooper Union, and senior fellow at the New School's Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. He is the author of Taking America, The End of Affluence (Random House) and The Case for Big Government.
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Diane Clehane is a contributing editor at mediabistro.com where she writes the 'Lunch' column. She is at work on a memoir and lives in Westchester County, New York.
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This is just a great article. So much in-depth analysis and critical commentary. Thanks for really digging into the "why" of these cultural phenomenons.
Thanks, Beast, for giving me 0% more than US magazine. Actually, far less. At least US has lots of pictures.
I love the beast, but I agree - not much here!
Not sure I agree that Jon is "clueless". I think he appears clueless as to why Kate has to be such a constant total bitch.
HA! Excellent summary!
the should put an EXTRA link to the narcissism piece at the end of this one.
this is because TV love a clueless, powerless, pushover as a white male.
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....EWWWWWWWW.....just yech.
sorry, but 1) not news, 2) not insightful and 3) not even written well.
Reality shows are cast and edited to confirm our stereotypes, particularly of women. Many shows feature a screeching harpy like Kate. I don't understand why the author gleefully buys into this nonsense.
So you and your buddies live vicariously through shows about vapid women. /twirls finger
I have to agree with clarityinthedefaultworld - this was poorly written and not remotely news. This should have been a personal blog entry not something on The Daily Beast.
God that's sad in itself. It'd be one thing to live vicariously through someone who actually has an exciting, productive life, but these women? So you're basically emulating overly-made up clown whores?
Amen harlowe & clarity...
As the child of divorce,I wish my parents couldn't of afforded the divorce.Kate and Jon will ruin eight childrens chance at a somewhat normal life.Nobody really understands what it all does to a child.Pain,anxiety,sadness and wishing Mom and Dad would fall in love again.And,I would bet we will all get the chance to see it evolve on tv.Sad,very sad.
Awful article -just awful. Yes, we really need more empty-headed materialistic people out there. Poorly written as well. The "woman at Starbucks" source? It is possible to write about mindless fluff without being mindless fluff. Look into it lady.
I've seen these shows as my daughter watches them when she's home from college. I think college girls are a big part of the audience and theres an angle that might be interesting: Why do young women just starting in life, wondering how their lives will go over the next few years, wondering if they will meet someone and get married, etc. - why do they like the Real Housewives, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, Jon & Kate? I wonder if its a comfort to see people a bit older than they are having messy situations and doing stupid things.
I saw the "Jon & Kate" where they talked about their problems. I found Jon's situation very sad. He's only 30 and he has no job outside the home; he's gained 30 pounds; his hair is thinning; he wears sloppy clothes; his family has turned into a "business." Meanwhile, his wife is having a blast traveling the country with her book and speaking tours (and possibly being involved with the bodyguard). She didn't have a good explanation for why she "has to" be away from home so much or AT ALL. Eight children and a home and a husband - she shouldn't ever be away from them for a night but apparently, she does it all the time.
Real Housewives of New Jersey is a bit of a mystery. I saw Teresa's husband pay out $100,000 in cash the other day - they are trying to make these people look like organized crime connectees. I live in New Jersey and I wonder if it will impact the governor's race. The Republican candidate, Christie, comes off as that thug-family-connected type. That may not be fair to him and he might be a real prince but thats how he looks on TV. And the image is out there, first with the Sopranos and now resonating with these Real Housewives. The rest of us are wondering how much of this mob-connected stuff there is in this state and how much they walk among us.
Your analysis was better than the entirety of this article. I'd rather read your thoughts on the deeper social impact of these shows than the crap I just wasted four minute of my life on.
I love Kate (who is Kate again?)
She is the dumb one with half of her hair covering an eye thinking that the look is cool. That in my opinion is the dumbest look that the so-called fashion hair people ever came up with _ NOTE _ the most attractive female is the one with no hair covering ANY part of the eyes!
yeah, thanks (you're always the one who's last to get the joke, aren't you?)
This article sucks and is quite shallow. I read it because I am curious what will happen to Kate, Jon and the kids. I would love to see them leave television and focus on their family.
And I, too, live in Westchester County like the author. It's a beautiful place to live but it does have it's share of shallow, dim-witted folks like the NJ housewives and this articles author, too.
Actually, what we'd all like to do is forget about this tedious woman and her bad manners and her pathetic obsession with celebrity. Yet you shovel this tedious garbage at your readers day after day after day as Page 1 news. She's news because you insist on treating her as news. Why?
I did not watch the show but heard the latest garbage story. Husband was not much to look at! All those kids.
WHY? And a "reality show" -- most UN REAL. Who gives
a **** about these idiotic people?
People watch because NOBODY can resist a TRAIN WRECK, Nadya Suleman getting a reality show deal PROVES this point.
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Maybe Kate and her family are not doing the right thing by putting their lives on television, but I don't think we should be judging her for her 'bitchiness' towards her kids or her husband. I don't know who could ever have their lives broadcast for America to see and not come off as a bitch, whether they're dealing with just one kid or eight of them.
I was shocked by the way she tourtured her poor child, telling him that she was throwing out his 'buddy' the teddy bear just because he got gum on it and she's too impatient to get it out. This women is a royal bitch who is so self-absorbed she not only has no time for her husband, now she's taking it out on her kids as well....perhaps she should remember, they're the only reason she's on this gravy train.
I'd like to cite the way she treats the production crew around her house.
In one episode, she's making a sound guy and a camera man put up blinds in the house she didn't have to pay for (while warning them of the consequences should they 1: screw up the job or 2: damage anything in the house). That isn't their job. She and her husband (whose eyes have dimmed to a shade above death) she take care of that.
Then about a month later, she fired 40 members of the crew because she didn't like have so many people around the house.
I'm not judging her as a person, just her actions. And what I see, I don't like.
the final chapter in this saga will be all four women will appear as Cougars. replete with nude picture layouts for Playboy. But not before Kate is seen in Hustler.
This 'man driven' society is on the way out and some of the last outrages of class will have its way with us.
In a word: Pathetic. It seems to me that the modern definition of Housewife is lazy bi%$h. If your children are babies and your staying home to care for them, that's one thing. But when your kids are in school all day and your not out there working or at least doing something worth while, then you're a lazy piss poor excuse of a human being and so is anyone that's pathetic enough to watch you on TV.
I agree with Karennf444 on her view of John.The first episode I ever saw of this show, I new he was going to leave Kate. They had all these children at a very young age and she treated him so badly. I think it was a given that it wouldn't work out,so I don't see why anyone else was surprised.
I no longer watch the show because I think Kate is such a unlikable person.
I only have twins and sometimes find it hard to manage all the chaos through the exhaustion. My kids are such a joy and a blessing. And, it's difficult to describe how hard it is to make sure everyone's needs are met especially if you really care about your family. The first three years were like one long day of non-stop catch-up. Kate's doing an amazing job taking care of those children! You have no idea.
Never before this year and the whole "scandal" have I watched this show. Friends did. Raved about it. Talked about how Kate was so cute and got a tummy tuck and now her tummy is "flat as a pancake" and blah blah blah.
So this year, I take a peek. Think "hey, Jon really is cute. A good Dad". So I keep watching. Watch Kate berate Jon. Watch Kate berate the kids. Watch Kate berate the crew. Watch Kate berate EMERIL LAGASSE. About COOKING!Start to think "hey, this Kate is really a b1tch."
Keep watching. Notice the striped hair, which Kate describes as a look "not many people can carry off, because my hair is super thick" (and lustrous, is what I think she really wants to say). Think "Kate, that's a look no one should WANT to carry off".
Keep watching. It's getting a little uncomfortable watching Kate now. She's obviously there for the fame. Treating Emeril like he's an old buddy. Kate, he's not your buddy. He's there because you're on tv. One would think you could catch a clue in your lustrous, thick hair!
Watch Jon make Asian dinner. Again thinking "hey, Jon's pretty cute, a good Dad". Kate mocks him once again, and that's enough for me. I cringe. Shut one eye. Shut the other eye. Think about Jon being cute, making dinner for those little kids, putting up with Kate's SHITE. Decide I'll watch. Because of him. Because of the kids.
So I'll watch. Once in awhile I'll close an eye, or leave the room, because I can't stand the belittling. But I'll watch. As I'm sure most people will.
We've grown to love the plight of the unlovable b1tches. And if their husbands are pretty cute, even better!
Knew
The shortcomings of Kate's personality aside, Jon chose the messiest, most humiliating way to announce his unhappiness with the marriage. He put his immediate needs before those of his eight children and exposed them to a great deal more of negative publicity and hurt than had he approached things with a bit of rational and unselfish thought.
ok folks....I'm weighing in on this one....we don't have TV at home but I've seen this show when it 1st came on the air. I'd catch it while traveling especially when I couldn't sleep. I admit I was fasinated by it but now it strikes me as bad art.
At the time when I saw this show I recognised something very familiar. Its a typical behaviour that RNs have for perfectionism around how only they can take care of individuals that they are in charge of. In this case, Kate is obsessed with her dependents. And yes, she's been demasculating her husband for a long, long time. Should we pass judgment on how/why they chose each other to work out whatever issues they have. I don't think so. But they're doing this 'work' on national TV has long passed common sense, borders on bad taste and is most likely detrimental to the children.
And why can see this so clearly? Because I used to be one of those obsessive nurses who couldn't trust her husband to look after their child. He didn't know how to look after a baby and I wasn't willing to let go of the control to show him how to succeed. By choice we only had one child ---- this couple has 8. Not sure I could do what she's doing. Including being in a fishbowl.
Hey Tina!
With this column by Diane Clehane, are you initiating a new column, The Stupid Female?
Your visiting authors could be your Paris Hilton, your Britney Spears, your Octomom . . .
Thank you.
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