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Megan Hustad

Gloria Vanderbilt Gets Kinky

The letters and Pris' fevered reaction are the sole story until the second half, when Obsession devolves into fevered snippets of ever-shifting points of view, and all that's clear is that Pris and Bee have gone mad with jealousy—Talbot in memoriam losing some but not all of his potency. Ever the designer, Vanderbilt quickly dispenses with coherence and focuses instead on fabrics—before they can get to the bed, her characters must wade through hanging gardens of chiffon, taffeta, velvet, silk, and "saffron gauze curtains." She repeatedly shifts her eye from erect nipples to note approvingly the gold streamers flapping overhead, the grosgrain ribbons and tinkling bells, and when reading about all the pretty girls in jeweled thongs proves too much, Pris goes downstairs and fixes herself a bowl of cottage cheese because she'd read in The New York Times about how it settled the stomach.

One ultimately gets the impression that Vanderbilt's sincerest admiration is reserved for boardroom—not bedroom—skills. That Maja's Janus Club is a smoothly run, efficient operation is a point dwelled on longer than the size of Talbot's manhood. We're also informed that Pris would have been "capable of managing IBM." Kinky.

Even Bee was chosen not for her looks per se but for her organizational skills. Bee, Talbot confides in Maja, has "smarts and though appears diffident with a gentle reticence—occasionally an unexpected take-charge attitude breaks through (absolutely!), which I found a charming combination not found in others I've been auditioning." He determines her controlling streak will come in handy in managing the fun at Akeru so he can concentrate on his career.

Did he administer some sort of Myers-Briggs test, one wonders? Obsession is a jumble of competing impulses, only a fraction of which seem erotic. "Magenta" is used as descriptor no fewer than 14 times. Orgies are followed by scrambled eggs and hot chocolate for breakfast. Mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot is namedropped on page 49 in a hiccupped discussion of chaos theory. Then we’re off to the spa at Canyon Ranch. As for Bee, her mincing voice can be plotted somewhere on the continuum between male fantasies of Singapore Airlines and the "special VIP room"-speak typically found in marketing brochures for investment opportunities in the former Soviet Bloc. Indeed, the sexuality Vanderbilt peddles is as product-centered and anodyne as the TBS version of Sex and the City. In one scene, an unnamed housekeeper recommends shopping in Montecito as a salve for acute sexual jealousy.

No matter. Pris isn't so much worried about her husband having shtupped Bee, Dominique, Nadine, Rowena, and what's-her-name—no, what really sticks in her silk-lined craw is that Talbot built Bee a more magnificent house.

Eventually, this short, louche novel that began with warmth and zest and cheekiness, wanders around aimlessly in magenta caftans. Even the main characters can't quite keep it up till the end. When Bee and Pris finally meet—whether in a dream sequence or not is hard to discern—their conversation is tense but cordial. Then Pris starts to cough, and Bee digs in her purse to hand her a sucking candy. (A Werther's Original perhaps?) It's a considerate and sisterly gesture, and not the kind of gasping, hair-pulling climax one expects in a story of aching passionate rivalry. In fact, it teasingly suggests that Vanderbilt's a real softie. Obsession is erotica even your grandmother can love.

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Megan Hustad is the author of How to Be Useful. She has written for The New York Times, Salon, Slate, and American Public Media's Marketplace.

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June 23, 2009 | 7:00am
Comments ()
keepakeeper43

Pass.

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8:45 am, Jun 24, 2009
guiltybystander

poor little rich girl, now being referred to as "anderson cooper's mother"-- she needs the attention she never got from her parents

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11:59 am, Jun 24, 2009
yeshprabhu

I liked your review very much. You have a wonderful sense of humor. But I am surprised that you did not consider the novel as very funny. I think the novel is hilarious. This is what I wish to say:
The novel is highly erotic. It's not pornographic. It is also witty and very humorous. Reading some of the passages I laughed so hysterically that I had tears in my eyes. Some of the words and phrases I encountered were so unexpected that I was startled and completely stupefied. I enjoyed reading it. Written in elegant and lyrical prose, the novel is bewitching and highly readable. Yes, some prudes will be shocked; but those who are sane and broad-minded will enjoy this novel thoroughly.
And as startling and lively as this novel is, it is even more startling that the highly erotic passages sprouted in the mind and gushed through the pen of the eighty-five year old author. Read this novel to feel the thrill of the most unexpected kind.
Yesh Prabhu, Plainsboro, NJ

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12:51 pm, Jun 24, 2009
finderj

Anais Nin, where are you?

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1:28 pm, Jun 24, 2009
gustav

ick

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4:11 pm, Jun 24, 2009
nickels1

ick ick

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5:38 pm, Jun 24, 2009
morris1030

While erotica doesn't interest me, Vanderbilt has every right to create a story of any kind. She's braver than I thought, and armchair analysis is silly as Gloria has led quite a life, and at 86 hs more guts and energy than most 40 year olds I know.

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5:46 pm, Jun 24, 2009
shariyn3

You define her for the audience as Anderson Cooper's mom?? She has been famous and infamous all her life. At 86 if she does more than get off a comfy couch she deserves our admiration--but to write a book? Kudos to her!

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6:30 pm, Jun 24, 2009
QueenCeleste

I can't help thinking if someone else, someone not a socialite, had written this book the reviews might be a tad more appreciative. Ms. Vanderbilt is a fascinating person, and has been all of her life. She is engaged and active and very much with it when she could very well be eating bonbons. Very inspiring! And I agree with shariyn3, she should not solely be identified as Anderson Cooper's mother!

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7:20 pm, Jun 24, 2009
RebJam

or alternatively...if it had been ANYONE else .. it would not have been published. ?

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10:06 pm, Jun 24, 2009
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Gloria Vanderbilt Gets Kinky

by Megan Hustad

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