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Sanford May Have to Take a Hike, After All
Davis Turner / Getty Images
Anyone with a heartbeat felt for the South Carolina governor during his awkward, drawn-out press conference. But his lying to the public and going AWOL might add up to a quick exit from office.
Plus, read more Daily Beast contributors' reactions to Mark Sanford's flameout.
Life was so much more fun when we didn’t know where Mark Sanford was.
The possibilities were endless. Of all the speculation the past few days, nude hiking on the Appalachian Trail was my favorite. His disappearance happened to coincide with Naked Hiking Day, in case you want to mark your calendar for next year.
I rather relished the thought that the straitlaced, boyish South Carolina governor got his private kicks walking buck naked through the woods wearing only a backpack and hiking boots.
I get no kick from fallen men (or women). It must be my age, but Schadenfreude ain’t what it used to be.
As layers of deceit gradually were peeled away, we learned that Sanford, rather than hiking, was actually in Argentina, possibly dove-shooting. Suddenly, and oddly, the story became both stranger and... less interesting.
You can trust me on this: Finding out a South Carolina boy is shooting birds in Argentina is about as scintillating as finding out that Barack Obama sneaks a smoke now and then.
South Carolinians mark time according to dove season, meaning that the calendar year begins on Labor Day. A governor who doesn't zip down to Argentina for a little feathered sport isn't worth his waders.
The real truth, finally revealed during one of history’s strangest news conferences, was, alas, even less interesting. Anti-climactic, if you will. He had an affair. Oh, Jehovah, Allah, and Damien, wake me when they get to the good part, will ya?
Is there anything more banal than a Republican affair? Can we just all become Democrats so no one cares?
I get no kick from fallen men (or women). It must be my age, but Schadenfreude ain’t what it used to be. Sanford’s pain was palpable as he described his relationship with another woman and apologized to everyone on the planet. His suffering—and that of his family—is too real and raw for snarky remarks. Anyone with a heartbeat felt for the man in his unbearable moment of public humiliation.
But could we chat for just a moment about the governor’s utter weirdness? What was this man thinking? What was he talking about the first several minutes of the news conference, during which he regaled a watching world with his love of hiking and adventure? Get on with it, man, will you?
TMI was made for moments like this. Mark, Mark, Mark. Just say: “I had an affair; my wife has known about it for five months and we’re working on it; I paid my own way. Gotta go.”
Instead, he told us how many times they’d gotten together “during that whole sparking thing.” Thrice! Please tell me your sons weren’t watching. It all started very innocently with email, he said. It always does, pal. Then about a year ago, boom. Big Guy Upstairs nodded off and Little Friend Downstairs took over the controls.
The chief executive of the nation’s most embarrassed state doesn’t know when to turn it off. We didn’t need to know all that. And did he really say he’d spent that past five days crying in Argentina? What is it about that country? Does anyone ever go to Buenos Aires just for the laughs?
What love/lust/whatever does to sane men and women has kept poets in business for centuries. We all get it; we’ve all been there. Love is nothing but temporary insanity from which one, unfortunately, can and does recover. Americans aren’t quite French, but they’ll usually forgive a fellow human being for frailty.
The sin of betrayal is Sanford’s to work out with his wife and, since he brought him into the discussion, his God. But his sin of deceit, of outright lying to the public about his whereabouts and leaving his state without arrangements for governance, is another matter.
He may end up having to take a hike after all.
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group and author of Save the Males.
John Talks Joe
Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
Why America Must Learn to Bow
Martin Jacques is the cofounder of the UK think tank Demos, writes a regular column for The Guardian, and is a visiting research fellow at the London School of Economics Asia Research Centre. His new book, When China Rules the World, is available now.
Going Rogue: The Index
Christopher Buckley's books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and is editor-at-large of ForbesLife magazine. His new book is Losing Mum and Pup, a memoir. Buckley's Daily Beast column is the winner of an Online Journalism Award in the category of Online Commentary.
'Mom, Dad—I Need $96K'
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group and author of Save the Males.
The Passion of Mark Sanford
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group and author of Save the Males.
Runaway Governor: The Sequel
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group and author of Save the Males.
He needs to feel a bit comfortable before he says what happens and that's why he started telling the entire story at first.
I think it's because no one was there to cheer him up and he didn't get a chance to tell it to someone at all.
Well, he must have done that crying in the sun. Take a look at his tan.
funny.
it's actually the beginning of winter in Argentina
Mark Sanford is a number 8~PRICK in the book ThePrickIndex.
I suggest if people are interested in true human behavior they read this little jewel.
It's a very painful and unfortunate position that Mr. Sanford has placed his wife and family in.
Sorry Ms Parker. I don't feel sympathy for hypocrites.
I just wish they go away.
So I never ever have to hear about there Zeus and there moral high ground.
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
Pleasse these soap operas every week,on tv. have to stop. If you are a politician,supposed to be running our country,spending our money,fixing our problems,how are you doing it by hiking with your mistress.?And this man,is madly in love with his Argentinian girl)and in Argenitna these big farms,are called Chakras.He is going to be on one of those.I think his crying comes from being caught and maybe loosing his friend.This is not a sex addict,like spitzer or Clinton.He looks very in love, so Im not sure the wife can save her homeHe should Resign,that would have made him a class Act.
For those who rediscover love,sex,desire,lust,unfortunately that burns out in marriage,( Most of them and other things replace it,)Do become Crazy,Intoxicated,Beyond Reason,for a a year of lunacy to two years,they are irrational,and until it wears out.gamble it all.This love affair is not over.What I find selfish,(besides the affair) is wanting to stay in powere fixing our countries problems,he is not thinking or caring,about it.
I only listened to part of his news conference, but if his detailed story is as bad as I am hearing (too much information), that combined with the emails, will be his real political downfall, and not the mere fact of his infidelity.
Hmm... close correlation between people in power, intense pressure, close scrutiny, a desire for focused attention and occasional (sometimes permanent) stupidity.
That said, IF, and it is a big one, he isn't completely trashed by his foes and he manages to repair, his inability to not be human could actually work in his favor. An obviously rough climb for a lame duck gov already in the doghouse at home and now with hordes of hounds and hunters at his heels. And a sticky tale to boot(y)!.
He has the hangdog part down....if he is contrite enough and Jenny takes him back, this may fade in time and his warts won't loom as large. Reality nonTVTV?
"Hypocrisy...Thy name is Republican"
I think this is God's will to enlighten the middle-age, white, conservative male politicians to be humble and not judgmental about human frail and sins. It's just too bad that innocent wives have to also get clobbered at the same time, but alas, they choose to marry these men and learn to practice their docile political wives' stoic smile (including Elizabeth Edward). Humiliated political wives, please united and make a public declaration to free yourselves of these jerks.
Am I the only one who thinks those emails are got kinda hot....
I think it's a latina thing....
Amazing. A whole column with no mention of Sarah Palin.
Well, I *didn't* watch the melodrama and I say hogwash! Why would anyone feel sorry for this pathetic excuse for a man who was completely irresponsible.. He has demonstrated nothing but a total lack of judgment since the stimulus show he staged. This is the kind of second act I would expect from him.
I felt absolutley no sympathy for him during the news conference.
He was seemingly contrite because that was the thing to do, not because it came from the heart. It was just an act!
He seemed to be still in love with his mistress as he reminisced about the affair. He suggested he went to B-A
to end the affair, but why did it take 5 days to say goodbye. Must be he was after the "goodbye sex". Otherwise a phone call or email would have served the purpose.
Did anyone else notice that the mistress was first on the list of people he apologized to? His wife and kids were around number 3 or 4 on the list.
A scumbag politician to the very end.
I noticed that he mentioned his children and wife way down on the list. He cried when he appologized to his friend but not when he mentioned his family. What a guy!
Why, oh why couldn't it have been Mario, not Maria?....
Wait a minute, how do we know that Maria isn't really Mario?
I agree that an affair is pretty banal and really only the business of Sanford and his wife. The irony is how the Republicans railed against Bill Clinton in their righteous indignation at his affair. Then, they go on the campaign as the party of "moral value."
A simple solution would be for ALL GOP leaders, congressmen and senators to sign a document declaring they have NOT cheated on their spouses, had homosexual liasons, used illegal drugs, or had children with women other than their spouses. That would give them the moral authority to continue to condemn others for those acts.
"TMI was made for moments like this. Mark, Mark, Mark. Just say: 'I had an affair . . .'"
Repeating Sanford's name three times might have been cute usage if it hadn't already been done thousands of times.
Kathleen's too unoriginal, however, to dress her hack pieces up with more fashionable clothes. Her most remarkable feature is that she steals from the witty and gives to the dull.
To use another hackneyed expression, I'd say Kathleen's a poor man's Maureen Dowd -- a trailer park pundit . . . journalism's version of a gum-chewing waitress at Waffle House who should never have been let out of her swamp.
Ms. Brown: You were among the first-- if not the first-- to call out the Governor earlier this week on MSNBC's 'Morning Joe' when you very wisely suggested there was more to the story. With the very apt cue to your news colleagues- en francais- you suggested to all: "Cherchez La Femme".
Your readers appreciate your wise female intuition, political instinct, and great sources. Dare I add that your female readership can also identify with a world-weary kind of cyncicism about mens' alternate power and weakness, and all of these unfortunate falls from grace. That said, now let's all really try to learn something.
C'mon Katherine, why leave out the biggest sin of all: the raw HYPOCRISY ... he has pontificated against gay marriage, against Bill Clinton, his campaigns have been built on his christianness and his family-man-ness. I feel for his kids but I haven't a shred of sympathy for the evil hypocrite.
Any photos of the tart from Tierra del Fuego? G Patton
As to the remark "Can we just all become Democrats so no one cares?" people do care about what Democrats do. Just listen to all the references to Clinton, Kennedy and Edwards. What you seem to be forgetting is the hypocrisy of Republicans who preach the "sanctity of marriage" and how gays are not worthy of it but then somehow forget about sanctity immediately.
"I rather relished the thought that the straitlaced, boyish South Carolina governor got his private kicks walking buck naked through the woods wearing only a backpack and hiking boots."
TMI-TMI-TMI!
Hiking the Appalachian Trail?
Pursuing the Argentinian Tail?
You make the call.
Vaya te gobinator a fuera & a Argentina a su mujer. SC no necesitiran ud, su esposa y sus hijas. No vaya C Calle. Vaya Argentia or Antartica, imedimente. No necisitara ud in las Americas. Vaya. Quiete su boca: por favor; tienemos basta mentiras y cabrones in las Americas. Se diece ud tiene huevos. No lo conoczo, seguro. Si ud tiene huevos, toma su huevos a Argentina. En Argentina hay bien comida; come huevos ranchero y biestek. ?Es la vierdad que ud tiene huevos, si o no?
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