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News Shrink: The Lovesick Statesman
Mary Ann Chastain / AP Photo
The release of Gov. Mark Sanford’s emails to his mistress prove he’s not a Spitzer, a Clinton, or an Edwards—he’s a lovesick adolescent. The Daily Beast gets a psychologist to shrink America’s latest love guv from afar.
Plus, read more Daily Beast contributors' reactions to Mark Sanford's flameout.
The release of Gov. Mark Sanford’s emails to his mistress prove he’s not a Spitzer, a Clinton, or an Edwards—he’s just a lovesick adolescent.
Sanford is “the functional equivalent of a misguided seventh-grader,” said Renana Brooks, a psychologist and director of The National Institute for the Study of the American Unconscious. She based the comparison on newspaper accounts of Sanford, not personal knowledge. In other words, he’s not the typical high-profile philanderer.
Can you imagine Spitzer sending his favorite prostitute an email from work that praises her “magnificent gentle kisses”?
Can you imagine Spitzer sending his favorite prostitute an email from work that praises her “magnificent gentle kisses” and told her he loved “the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light”? As Brooks put it, the language is “very seventh-grade” because Sanford’s completely at sea and “doesn’t know what to do with this experience because it’s in violation of his deep religious beliefs.”
When most politicians have affairs, Brooks said, “it’s not about love, it’s about power or lust.” Apologies for the affair are delivered in monotone. But Sanford actually teared up during his rambling confession. “You’ve never seen an apology with that much emotion,” Brooks said. “This is a man who looks broken and distraught, completely torn up by what he’s doing. That comment, [from his apology] about how ‘I spent five days crying with her before I came back here to cry some more.’ It’s just not something that politicians say.”
In other words, Sanford has revolutionized the way we think of philanderers. As Brooks explained, “We only have one model in our culture of the high-profile politician that has to be brought down from their arrogant ways and we have zero models for this.”
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fk4711
Sanford is in love, and still is. But most of all with himself. It is as if he is so proud of himself being able to bask in this supreme love (despite his apology, there was a trace of defiance in his voice and body language). He is superior than most of us because he found, tasted, and cable of true love. It strike me as odd that in the press conference he thought of nothing but himself and the woman and not his wife. Notice how he apologized to "that person" first for putting her in this situation before he apologized to his wife and children. I was not moved by his tears. If he has not got caught, he would have carried on with the affair any way, so I don't thing the tears he shed was tear of remorse, more like tears of being caught.
Of course, nothing would have mattered if Sanford was so intolerant and sanctimonious about other people's "affair of the heart." He opposed gay marriage, even the civil union for gay couples. Now he probably realized that love is love no matter what your sexual orientation is and once it swept over you, there is nothing you can do about it, gay or heterosexual. Alas, it's too late. He's toasted. I hope as a repentance he will dedicated the rest of his career to promote gay marriage. I don't think it will happens but at lest this will shut him up of his gay bashing. SWEET!
AlwaysOptimistic
Sanford seems to be love sick narcissist comparing his love affair to the characters in the sappy "Thornbirds". Give me a break. Meanwhile, the woman who devoted herself to him and their four boys gets to "mop up" after his adolescent antics.
Annie57
I had the same impression. I think he really loves this woman Maria.
valkyra
Mr. New Shrink. You obviously have no experience with people who have Destructive Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The governor is a classic case. Kudos to the others posters who noticed!
Autopilot
It is a classic case. It's all there in the textbooks. The speculation is that it affects 1% of the population; but people with NPD only see mental health professionals when dragged there by devastated family members, so it's impossible to know for sure. It's probably safe to assume it's at least 2% by now since it's a learned behavior, and our social mores have been encouraging the spread of NPD for close to two generations. It's a behavior learned from a parent under circumstances still unclear. Read the books people...... Kernberg and Kohut. Kohut is an easier read and shows more compassion for the afflicted, but he's clear that they must still be held accountable for damages inflicted, obliviousness notwithstanding.
Only the most reckless mental-health professional would presume, publicly, to diagnose someone they haven't seen in the flesh multiple times. But in the case of NPD, you'd have to be brain dead not to spot the obvious. Which brings us to our dear friend Tina - who, in all her wisdom, would like us to broaden our understanding of life and love; but next time she might consider enlisting the services of a Psychiatrist - one with a sense of humor - preferably a woman - preferably over the age of 60, with at least 30 years of practice, about whom her clients say "She is my best friend". That's what your looking for.
Because it's hard to say this in a manner that's less-than-inflammatory it would probably be wise to give credit first to Mr. Freud. His biggest contribution was to help mankind understand that it's a better idea to try to understand the mentally ill than torture them or burn them to death. But some of the specifics of his analyses and prescriptions are by now....well....discredited. It's not to say that Psychology is to Psychiatry what chiropractic is to Orthopedics; but it's not far off. You pay a slightly higher price for the extra years of education; but you get a lot more value.
And thanks again, Tina, for the sandbox - but did you have to make the sides so high. I really need to scramble out of here and get back to work.
acsmith
Lovesick, yes. Destructive Narcissistic Personality Disorder, yes as well. With a dose of big fat jerk on the side - look at the full e-mails; in addition to the sappy praise for Maria is interwoven criticism of his wife for criticizing his mother to whom he compares Maria (hmm, maybe some Oedipal stuff mixed in?) AND a persistent attempt to distance himself from Maria because he doesn't want to stand in the way of her future happiness with another man (translation: bad for his political aspirations, but he won't be straightforward and say so, even though she knows this and mentions it in her reply).
valkyra
The refusal to resign fits in too, despite his cries for others in his same position to resign. People with DNPD never take responsibility for their actions. They don't know how. Leaving his children on Father's Day - it never even crossed his mind as a terrible thing to do. He only cried about it at the press conference because of the thought of his children not adoring him. He was not crying for their feelings but for his. His needs and desires trump everyone else's in every situation. People with DNPD also have no ability to see their own hypocrisy. People with DNPD also start crying when they are cornered and have to admit any wrongdoing. But the fault always belongs elsewhere in the mind of the person with DNPD.
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