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What the Sanfords Didn't Say
Pablo Martinez Monsivais / AP Photo
Tina Brown decodes the governor and first lady’s statements about his sexual escapade.
Plus, read more Daily Beast contributors' reactions to Mark Sanford's flameout.
When the news first broke about Mark Sanford, the South Carolina governor whom MSNBC’S Keith Olbermann now calls the Wild Bull of the Pampas, I thought for a hopeful moment his wife, esteemed first lady Jenny Sanford, might rip off her burqa and revolt on behalf of all the other downtrodden political wives called to genuflect before their husbands’ outsize egos.
Wasn’t there something deliciously passive-aggressive about Mrs. Sanford’s first trailing of trouble with that deadly clue in her statement to the AP two days ago? No, she hadn’t heard from her husband the governor on his mysterious three-day trip—not even on father’s day. “I am being a mom today,” she told CNN’s David Mattingly. “I am taking care of the children.” Deft touch that. A sharp, small kick in the groin.
The first lady of South Carolina blew it. She chose instead a pious manifesto that lets the governor off the hook.
Then the missing father surfaced. And told the world his disappearance was not a bracing trek in the Appalachian Trail after a trying legislative session, but a hot tamale interlude in Argentina, swiftly fleshed out by embarrassingly erotic sentiments that should have been found 50 years hence tied up in blue ribbon in the Sanford family attic, instead of surfacing as they did in leaked emails to a South Carolina newspaper, The State.
One could have felt sorry for the guy—at least James Carville on CNN could—but why have admissions of guilt become so suicidally wordy? Sanford needed only three sentences at that press conference to come out ahead. “I was a damn fool. I apologize. I resign.” Instead, there was that bizarre, free associating ramble about his love of hiking; his eight-year friendship with a woman in Argentina that became a “spark” (translation: it was hot and heavy from the get-go, “hiking” is no doubt a Craig’s List euphemism for long-distance sex); his need (translation: his right ) to get out of the “bubble.” (Correction: The bubble’s where you’re s’posed to be, Mark. That’s what all the rubber-chicken fundraisers you put her through were for.)
Watch Highlights of Notorious Political Apologies
And, again, briefly when I read her statement, I thought the first lady was slyly going to keep up the marital pressure. “I personally believe,” it said, “that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street (translation “I had a big career, asshole, before you came along”) “ or the campaigns I managed for Mark” (memo: I was the brains, you’d be nowhere without me) “or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged” (more of those frikkin chicken dinners).
But oh no! Just when she set the table for a big-ticket matrimonial lawyer to have a payday on behalf of all the humiliated political wives—ashen Mrs. Eliot Spitzer; pulverized Dina Matos McGreevey; quietly imploding Mrs. Larry Craig; fuming deity Elizabeth Edwards—the first lady of South Carolina blew it. She chose instead a pious manifesto that lets the governor off the hook. “I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.” God is great. Roll on the book deal about Resilience, and the date with Oprah.
Tina Brown is the founder and editor in chief of The Daily Beast. She is the author of the 2007 New York Times best seller The Diana Chronicles. Brown is the former editor of Tatler, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Talk magazines and host of CNBC's Topic A with Tina Brown.
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Tina Brown is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Daily Beast. She is the author of the 2007 New York Times best seller The Diana Chronicles. Brown is the former editor of Tatler, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Talk magazines and host of CNBC's Topic A with Tina Brown.
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Duff McDonald is a contributing editor at New York magazine and a former contributing editor at Condé Nast Portfolio. His book, Last Man Standing, about Jamie Dimon, chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, was published by Simon & Schuster in October.
Sarah Drops the Act
Tina Brown is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Daily Beast. She is the author of the 2007 New York Times best seller The Diana Chronicles. Brown is the former editor of Tatler, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Talk magazines and host of CNBC's Topic A with Tina Brown.
Sarah Palin, the Musical
Tina Brown is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Daily Beast. She is the author of the 2007 New York Times best seller The Diana Chronicles. Brown is the former editor of Tatler, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Talk magazines and host of CNBC's Topic A with Tina Brown.
Hillary Finally Doffs Her Burqa
Tina Brown is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Daily Beast. She is the author of the 2007 New York Times best seller The Diana Chronicles. Brown is the former editor of Tatler, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Talk magazines and host of CNBC's Topic A with Tina Brown.
Tina Brown please remove Mark McKinnon his useless.
June 23: Sanford for President
June 24: Sanford Should Resign
Facts are meaningless at TDB; as long as a hopeful story about Republicans can be printed.
Tina Brown: South Carolina has more than one newspaper. And the Adirondacks are much farther north, indeed several states north, of where Sanford originally said he was hiking. But he would never have driven to GA to get on the Appalachian Trail anyway.
Embers whats the bug up your ass? You assholes think you have the golden rule for everything except keeping an economy in tact. You screw that up very well and use FOX as your tissue to wipe your ass by having them tell lies and lies every day about the Dems until it looks true.
YOU MAKE DEMS OUT TO BE WHAT YOU ARE. JUST LOOK WHAT'S GOING ON NOW..A GOVERNOR WAS BANGIN' AWAY IN ARGENTINA FOR 4 DAYS AND NONE OF THE "LEFT WING" NETWORKS ARE PAYING ANY MIND. BUT LAST WEEK ALL THE "LEFT WING" MEDIA WAS ALL ON TOP OF LETTERMAN BEING A RAPIST TO A 14 YR OLD. YOU MAY THINK YOU GOT AWAY WITH THAT CRAP, BUT REMEMBER THERE'S 300 MILLION IN THIS COUNTRY AND FOR THE MOST PART WE'RE NOT IDIOTS. WE KNOW THE JOKE WAS ON BRISTOL. AND WHO WANTS TO VOTE FOR A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO DOESNT KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY NEWSPAPERS, WHO THINKS THAT THE REASON WHY WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS BECAUSE OF THE TROOPS PUTTING THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE IN F**KING AFGHANISTAN. WHAT THE F**K KIND OF THINKING IS THAT?? I DIDNT KNOW AFGHANISTAN TOOK OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH AWAY. SEE, WHEN SHE DID THAT WONDERFUL PATRIOTIC STATEMENT, MILLIONS AROUND THE COUNTRY KNEW WHAT HER BIG FIASCO WAS ABOUT. BUT SHE'S ANOTHER STORY. THE POINT IS YOU RIGHTNUTS EVERY GODDAMN DAY USE "THE LEFT WING MEDIA" EXCUSE TO MAKE YOURSELVES VICTIMIZED. AND LOOK WHO "THE LEFT WING MEDIA" WAS TALKING ABOUT FOR 10 DAYS STRAIGHT. SARAH PALIN.WHEN GOVERNOR SPITZER GOT BUSTED ON HIS AFFAIR, U PUKES HOGGED UP ALL THE MEDIA ESPECIALLY-->James Tedisco, Republican leader in the NY Assembly,said:"If he doesn't resign within 24 hrs, we will prepare articles of impeachment".**DO U SEE US DEMS ACTING LIKE BABIES TELLING SANFORD OVER LIVE NATIONWIDE MEDIA THAT HE GOT 24 HOURS TO RESIGN?? AND BOY DO WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO. BUT DEMS ARE TOO CLASSY FOR THAT GARBAGE.
innovations, where's the bug that's nested in your BRAIN? I'm not a Republican. Lose the caps.
innovations - "BUT DEMS ARE TOO CLASSY FOR THAT GARBAGE."
There is nothing classy about your writing, I can agree with many topics, but not the way you present them!
Dial it back and regain some class.
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!!!
Mark Sanford is a number 8~PRICK in the book ThePrickIndex.
I suggest if people are interested in true human behavior they read this little jewel.
It's a very painful and unfortunate position that Mr. Sanford has placed his wife and family in.
Interesting that the press hasn't commented on how the first person Sanford confesses to "hurting" is his pickle-warming Samba Mama. Classic NPD? TDB should have someone have a look at that who's familiar with the DSM-iV.
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mark Sanford is a man in love and if he thinks that I am going to buy a 3x visit to a woman that he apologized to before his family, then he is trying to sell a bridge in San Francisco. The nerve of this man to call himself trying to reconcile and keep his marriage while he runs to the woman who is named in the problem of his marriage is just not stupid but almost an admission that he still wants to be with this woman. I think that he is going to resign and be with this woman. I will be greatly surprised if he doesn't return to this woman. The old rule is that familiarity breeds contempt. Maybe with all the strength of his wife and her command of his career, since she was so instrumental in its making is what drove him to the arms of someone he thinks admires him because she thinks he is the brillance behind his own career. If that makes sense as I say it.
I'll second that. He did not even let the facts play out before he put his spin on it.
Autopilot,
Are you kidding? They are probably laughing at us as usual. They see things different oversea than we see it here in the states. A mistress on the side is sorta admired overseas.
I guess for me what makes it terrible is the republican party run on moral and family values. They make it a point to run those kind of candidates. The democrats have the same values but they don't make it a point to run on those values. They separate church and state. That is why people get so angry at the republicans. They are such fakes.
I won't (second that), 'the samba' won't want him back- disgraced and powerless. Samba's are not stupid- straight white men are!
If you had watched Rachel's show last you would have seen McKinnon say he was very disappointed in the governor and he said he should resign.
Could not agree more with Tina Brown. At the heart of this, however, is a politician- a risk-taking narcissist with an incredible ability to compartmentalize. So what else would you expect? True to form, he is entitled. Entitled to privacy, a mistress, the need for HIS space. This guy has always shown his colors. He is combative and pissy when he loses. He seems to believe that he knows what's best for you and me and when we disagree, he is vindictive and punishing. Ask his political opponents. Again, a classic narcissist. Unfortunately, his wife, despite her resentments, is willing to take another chance with him. Narcisssists are never wrong, however. Lying is one of their strengths. And he will never take full responsibility for his actions. He can sound contrite, but not really. He is a politician. He needs the applause and approval as do they all.
Good God, this sounds just like Sarah Palin with her narcissistic personality disorder:
- entitled
- combative
- pissy when she loses
- believe she knows what's best for others
- vindictive
- punishing
- never wrong
- never take full responsibility for her actions
- needs applause and approval
Classic enough for the textbooks. How about this in the NYT:
"...she learned of her husband's affair early this year when she found a letter he had written. She told him to end the relationship, but he repeatedly asked permission to visit the woman in Argentina in the months that followed..."
Asked her repeatedly. How's that for inability to feel empathy - perhaps the most crippling of all the NPD symptoms - and most damaging to others. He is absolutely incapable of understanding why everyone is upset. He has no idea what his boys are feeling right now. It's not that he doesn't care. He would care if he could put himself in their shoes. But that's not possible.
His wife is making a big mistake inviting him back. She needs to read some Kohut and Kernberg and then have a long, deep think about her boys before subjecting them to more betrayal and depreciation by a man who can't change, even if he wanted to - and with his sense of specialness and infallibility that will never happen.
And yes, the samba is more readily identified as Brazilian, though African in origin, but "Tango Mama" lacked that certain je ne sais quoi. And, frankly, I didn't think anyone would notice. So hats off to Charles 116.
Ms. Brown, I thank you for tellin' it like it T-I-Z, 'tis! Sanford had a chance to turn that hurt, shame and humiliation back on the source. Instead, she read the dutiful Republican wife playbook, choked it all down, and flung the door wide open in welcome. She needs psycho-therapy!
@Shockacon
"she (Mrs. Sanford) read the dutiful Republican wife playbook"
Really Shockacon ?
What did Hillary Clinton read from, the dutiful DEMOCRAT wife playbook ?
It was no playbook.
Considering all of Bill's women, it must have been as thick as the BIBLE.
There is no doubt, in certain cases the media exhibits such a
double standard when it comes to Republican womanizing
dirt bags versus Democrat womanizing dirt bags.
Case in point, many in the media adore Bill Clinton,
a multiple offender, the poster boy for womanizing.
The difference, Sophia5, is the Reps put themselves forward as religious and faithful men, teaching Sunday school, promoting family values, etc., while the Dems don't. That is the reason why Dems continued to support Bill Clinton. While we were embarassed by his behavior in the White House, the Reps who were condemning him and trying to IMPEACH him for his infidelity, all the while having illicit affairs themselves. (Newt Gingrich admitted he was having an affair at the time he was condemning Clinton)!
"The media exhibits such a double standard...."
I remember much media coverage and derision of both Bill Clinton, Elliott Spitzer, and John Edwards.
I still hear David Letterman making fun of Bill Clinton and his White House escapades, 10 years after the fact.
Just these past 2 weeks, I've heard Letterman make a couple of jokes about Elliott Spitzer.
It's bad when either Democrats or Republicans womanize. This is not an issue unique to either party. It's unfortunately a human condition, not a Republican or Democratic one.
However, the problem with Republicans is the extreme hypocrisy they show. Republicans, in general, are guilty of preaching their high moral authority when it comes to "values"; some of these Republicans in particular are quite hypocritical in their preaching.
Ensign was/is a Promise Keeper. He strongly condemned Bill Clinton, saying that "he has no credibility left." He was a big supporter of the Federal Marriage Amendment. If he wants to protect marriage from "the gays," why not protect it from philanderers like himself who has damaged his own marriage?
Sanford also was a strong critic of Bill Clinton's affairs.
Again, infidelity is not a uniquely Republican or Democratic phenomenon. And, yes, it is good if people have strong guidelines to try to live their lives by. But don't go preaching to others and attempt to get votes if you cannot yourself live up to your own guidelines, especially if you espouse that you and your party have the monopoly on moral values.
Hypocrisy runs in both parties,
and the Clinton apologists usually
rationalize his behavior by using some
lame moral equivalency argument
pertaining to Republicans.
Dems, and some media,
can stop pretending this is
about hypocrisy, and more about
agreeing with Clinton's political
policies. That's why he gets a pass.
Sophia
If the Dems are apologists, where was the support for John Edwards and Spitzer, the hypocrites? There was and is none from the Dems. You don't seem to get it Clinton was not a hypocrite.
It is about the hypocrisy Sophia, sorry
Bill Clinton the womanizer is a fiction created by the Arkansas Project and Richard Mellon Scaife.
You all have completely missed the point. It's ok for Republicans to have sexual relations outside of marriage and condemn the Dems for the same behavior because God spoke to Pat Robertson and told him so....Oprah needs to start having some Divine conversations so the Dems have a way out.
Sophia5, I hate to tell you but the public new what they were getting when they voted for Clinton in the first place. The same people that were telling Clinton to resign because he lied are some of the same people that did the very same thing. Lets just look Ensign, Craig, Sanford when he was a congressman and Vetters ran on moral values critizing Clinton. All these guys ran on the republican platform of Moral and Family Values. That is the stick. That what makes them look so bad when you run on those high values. Democats have the same values as republicans but they don't push those values on everyone else. That is the difference. Now don't get me wrong. The democrats that do it to their wives are no better. But again they don't run on a family platform. I think the republicans need to stop that stick because they are no better than the democrats.
I voted for Clinton and really don't care if he was having affairs.
It didn't affect his ability to govern.
However, liberal organizations, excluding comedians,
gave him a pass, so let's cut the jive.
There's no shortage of dirt bags in both parties.
Clinton is a dirt bag for what he did to Hillary,
and so is Mark Sanford for what he did to his wife.
No one of any party is perfect. Democrats are also religious and faithful. I am very sad and concerned for the Sanford family.
Why? How does it effect you personally? I don't feel sorry for him. I feel bad for the children. Yet I feel bad for all the children that have parents that are cheaters. I don't care if they are in public office or private citizens.
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Good article, Tina. Two things, though - it wasn't the Adirondacks - it was the Appalachian Trail. And second, it's not
Craigs List - it's craigslist (see the website) - some times spelled with lower case.
And yes, I, took, think the wife blew it. As I commented here the other day, I guess the wives of these "powerful" men love the lifestyle, and will do anything (or allow anything) to keep it.
sorry for my own typos here. mea culpa.
DBFan must be, auditioning, blowing it, for an editorial job at TDB.
Love Tina Brown's spicy take on the Wounded Political Wife/Wives. I'm always wondering why these women just don't file papers for divorce.
Does that include Hillary?
Hillary didn't stand beside him when he 'confessed' on TV. Also she had political ambitions and she new she'd need his expertise. After all, I don't think they had a very sexual relationship at that time (my own impression) so it was easier to 'forgive' him. It worked out well for her, don't you think?
I agree newswoman, I think Bill and Hilary had a close intellectual relationship that genuinely kept them together, and did not end up destroying either of them.
Of course it includes Hillary, especially so given the hardness of her edges, and her radical leftist agenda ("I'm gonna take those profits"). Bill was the far more adept politician who sounded plausible when he told hoi polloi "I feel your pain."
Hillary has always had her own agenda and Bill owed her big time. My questions is how do you define together? From what I can tell, Bill and Hillary retained a business partnership until she realized he was a liability not an asset. I assume that she considers winding down the entanglement to be more costly than trying to keep him on ice or in an undisclosed location. If Cheney is an example, it is not wise to remove the muzzle from the beast.
Funny, The Clintons are still married. The love might have left them but they seem to have a deep respect for each other. She is a person in her own right. I bet Bill Clinton has had a good laugh or 2 at the republicans. All those that told him to resign, now are having to eat crow. Paybacks are ugly. God doesn't like ugly. Yep those guys are getting their just desserts.
DBFan2009- Jenny Sanford is a powerful woman in her own right; she has family money and doesn't "need" Mark Sanford for the lifestyle. Everything I've read about her points to the fact that Mark Sanford is governor because of her familial ties, family money and support.
I personally went through a very painful divorce after 15 years of marriage (with 13 & 12 year old children). I applaud Mrs. Sanford for how she has handled his indiscretion. When you've got so many years of your lives intertwined and multiple children together- trying to reconcile is the right thing to do. I also applaud the end result of Mr. Sanford's conduct as well. Yes, he royally screwed up but instead of doing the ultimately most selfish thing- leaving his family for his mistress- he also seems to be humbled and wants to do the right thing- reconcile. The pain and impact that divorce causes for children is far reaching beyond just the here and now.
Divorce in this day is not nearly as hard on children as living in a home with parents who are "doing the right thing" and making unhappy fools of themselves. This is extra true when the world knows that your father is a specialist in foreign affairs.
Tina, I like your interpretation of what Mrs. Sanford was saying:
"I personally believe," it said, "that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street (translation "I had a big career, asshole, before you came along") " or the campaigns I managed for Mark" (memo: I was the brains, you'd be nowhere without me) "or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged" (more of those frikkin chicken dinners)."
What I am having a difficult time understanding is why are these attractive, accomplished women standing by their lying cheating spouses? and don't tell me its because of the children....those situations never seem to work.
My own opinion is the women are seduced by the lifestyle - and the fact that to have entry into any high level social circle (even at a local level) requires a man on their arm, and often, not just "any" man.
Not every divorcee is Ivana Trump or Ariana Huffington. Often if these couples divorce, the wife loses not only her very nice lifestyle, but also her entire social circle - most times "their" friends are really "his" friends, and they go with him, not her.
And yes, I'm thinking of someone locally that I know who I've wondered why she stays with her (locally) powerful, but chronic philanderer of a husband. What I want to know is, does she (and they) know how people laugh behind her back for being such a fool? Or is having a big house with a pool, nice cars, and being in the visible "in" crowd enough to make that not matter?
Sad to say, for many middle-aged women, their social life changes for the worse, when they divorce. There's something about couples wanting to be with other couples, that often leaves a divorced woman off the invitation list.
It seems to be true of most people, although it is probably more pronounced among the rich. Without a man to accompany her, a single woman is often viewed as excess baggage, figuratively and literally.
In this case, she was his ticket to the life style. I hardly think she would be the one dropped from the social calendar.
Hey Llplo99, Ms. Sanford's comment that struck me is: "I remain willing to forgive Mark". She doesn't get any power back because she is offering her forgiveness and since he has chosen to humiliate her and his family, not sure he really is asking for it (no matter what he says). In fact, she looks like a loser in the face of her comments. Yes, once she was strong and vital, now she is simply an employee making him look good.
It is the same thing as a person calling someone to break up with him.I think she should simply say that they will talk, privately. End of story.
I don't read the wife's statement at all the way everyone here did.
"I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, [yeah, like a cold day in hell time you piece of sh*t - after all of the public humiliation you're putting me through] if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility [you're going to be saying sorry on your knees for months, and I'll still tell you you're a lying bastard at the end] and repentance [I want you flogging your own back like monks do, until it draws blood that streams down your sorry ass, and I want very large quantities of very quality jewelry]."
Shazzbot, I too see it the way you do. Tina was correct in that the wife was dropping MAJOR hints to the media. (WHAT married mother of 4 children doesn't either know nor care to know where her husband is on FATHER'S DAY? I also believe that SHE was the one who tipped off The State newspaper about the e-mails and the trip to Argentina.). I think she WANTED this affair to come out.
What Tina fails to see is that Jenny Sanford wants to STAY married but she also wants to PUNISH her husband for falling in love with someone else. It's not just that he cheated, but according to the e-mails, he appears to be honestly in love with this woman. OUCH!
Having the press and the good people of S.C. feeling sorry for you and treating your cheating husband like a dog is sweet revenge. Elizabeth Edwards is the prefect example.
I agree completely!
Who could have know about the emails but someone very close to Sanford? Who else is more likely to out him than his wife? Ditto the flight from Argentina.
Her words - "if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance" I'll take him back - are key.
How can she punish him if he's never around?
I don't understand these political wives who choose to stay in these rotten marriages. They must get something out of it. Elizabeth Edwards got a book and Hillary Clinton parlayed her silence into a political career but the other women? I don't see any advantage at all unless they've lost their identities after playing devoted political wife for so long. Sometimes the known is preferable to the unknown even if the known stinks.
A cynical side of me is thinking prenup, with the husband getting the money and maybe custody of the kids. Threatening a woman with the loss of her children could be a powerful incentive to stay with a lying, cheating bastard.
bingo, crymeariver. i, too, think she is behind the leaks and emails. he was also hate by both sides of the statehouse and think they were tipping off the paper.
crymeariver, I agree with everything you say, but I wanted to add that Gov. Sanford's truly bizarre behavior may be a result of him wanting to "out" the affair. Who knows what the Gov. was going through while this affair was going on. I have no sympathy for him, but his behavior, given that he occupies a high public office, has been very strange.
wow....I the timeline is spot on.Jenny Sanford should still dump his horney ass..He still loves his lil'ta-ta ,he's not to be trusted
I agree. Notice Mrs. Sanford has broken the tradition of the wives of the cheating politician husbands standing by them at press conferences (Mrs. Spitzer, Mrs. McGreevey, Mrs. Paterson, etc). Obviously she is angry enough to think that playing the part of the forgiving, supportive wife is not worth it.
Maybe she will find herself again and decide to move on with her life? She certainly did sound like an accomplished person before.
Genni, I too would think that an accomplished woman can move on with her life. Her children are young, yet old enough where she can leave them part of the time to re-establish her career and rebuild her life. Her husband, especially in light of the emails, is obviously quite taken with someone else. Given that I would find it hard to forgive and to continue a one-sided relationship. Loss of dignity seems worse than a loss in lifestyle, especially if you are capable of finding your own wealth.
They have to work on reconcilement before they are back together again. They need time.
I think some of us are definitely on the same page here. If Mr. Sanford does indeed desire reconciliation- it will be a long, tough road.
I agree- she's handled this issue like a true superstar. The rest of us should take lessons from Mrs. Sanford on how to get your errant spouse/partner/significant other back on the bus.
LOL!!! Yeah girl! Get the guilt diamonds!!! Diamonds never cheat!!!!
Really! All you of you happy people should lay off of Mrs Sanford and let her decide what's important to her and her family. If she wants to work it out, let her. Playing the shrieking virago might delight the depressed media and masses, but she's got standards and her own plans for living. For his part, Senator Sanford's frankness and genuine commitment to addressing the scandal was refreshing and respectable. Think of Elliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton and Barney Frank and their truculent and deceitful performances when they screwed up. I don't want Senator Sanford to fun for president, and I never have. But I sure respect his frankness and genuine sorrow since he got off that plane. He should not resign, and he should listen to his wife.
SmirkinJudas, I'm tired of these people being sorry 'after the fact'. He's a grown man, not a teenaged boy. He was totally selfish. He didn't care about his wife or his sons or even the state of S.C. He will regret his actions but who cares?
newswoman
"For his part, Senator Sanford's frankness and genuine commitment to addressing the scandal was refreshing and respectable."
"Respectable" is the last word I would apply to any of GOVERNOR Sanford's actions. Yes, the guy is the executive in charge of South Carolina but he took off without telling anyone and without letting the Lt. Governor know (plus, Sanford's office refused to transfer power - no one was in charge!). Sanford not only took off, he lied to everyone regarding his whereabouts. Then he owns up to going to South America to do the horizontal tango with his long-time mistress, ignoring his 4 children over Father's Day weekend. What is respectable about any of that?
BTW, he wasn't crying because he was repentent; he was crying because he got caught and his political career was swirling down the toilet.
You betcha! He reminded me of the pedophile who finally realizes when the guilty verdict in handed down that there are going to be consequences for the behavior. They dissolve in tears, too. That was probably the most self-indulgent, self-pitying performance I have ever seen from a politician which is a profound statement since politician's are known for their self-indulgent, self pitying performances. It was definitely a Jimmy Swaggart moment.
There's nothing respectable about a man who's off screwing his mistress on Father's day. He aplogized because he got caught not because he's a moral person. He is obviously void of morals. And I think it's great that the day after everyone's toating him to be a presidental candidate he was found out to be a philandering jerk! Sometimes karma does come through.
It is not even about forgiving. Many marriages become partnerships, comfortable,sharing assets, being parents and grandparents, and some people do not want to rock the Boat.They do not want to change their lives.AND WHY SHOULD THEY Have to ,its their lies. Many marriages,are sexless, are for convenience,are for whatever,it is their bussiness.>woman of today with education,jobs, status,they still choose to stay with their husbands.So it is really a private matter, and the man chooses to stay with the wife.and My G-all day ,all night. of news 24 hours,We really are a country, that has Plenty.In other countries,People Are Dying.WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO STOP THE SOAP Opera.Every week. BUT IF YOU ARE IN POLITICS,then say, I need to Resign.....Just like you had the affair and did what you felt like doing,.then have the strenght to pay the price,...You cannot have it all. Do they keep their healthcare,retirements,etc,when they resign??The truth is,if you are a public servant,this will come out.But he came out in the open,because he was caught, and this man is one of those who really is in love with his mistress.He might move to Argentina.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The problem is all those who are not wealthy working hard,it discusting to have to see these live stories of the people having a ball,(because he is crying,doesnt mean he did not have great sex)Their politicians,who are supposed to be doing decisions in their state wellfare,and spending their money.....
And gay marriage is still an issue- hypocrisy is a national pastime.
i make no defense of the governor's reckless & irresponsible behavior; but at least it shows that all men are not the lazy clods--whose only passion is drinking beer and watching football on giant TV screens--portrayed by the media. of course, gov. sanford's south american fling was inappropriate and his attempted cover-up nothing short of bizarre, but the poor bastard's yearning for unconditional love and a non-judgmental relationship make him all too human.
Also,the reason Democrats, can come out of the affairs easier than the Republicans, is that the party is seen as immoral,free,looser,so when they have an affair, it is expected..right??The republicans have to stop throwing stones, and talk about politics,and stop putting up ideals they cannot meet.and ALL POLITICIANS
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7:35 am, Jun 25, 2009
If the wife, forgives him or not, it is her business. He might want that.Alot of the divorcee,husbands,when you are WEALTHY,show up with a new hot tomato.and She might not want to loose him and this is her man. But this is not Hillary and BIll who was a sex addict,and loves only Hillary,this man seems very in love with Miss Argentina. But they SHOULD RESIGN,then we could forgie him.There is no way under all this mess anyone can be doing the political job correctly.right?
Sure, you can do your Job just fine, as long as the media loves you and is willing to cover for you. You know, let you plant questions, ignore "little" mistakes. No problem.
akcita
Sure, you can do your Job just fine, as long as the media loves you and is willing to cover for you.
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You mean like sitting on steamy e-mail messages between Sanford and his mistress since DECEMBER 2008? Your "media-bias" stick has been around since the invention of television and continues to be just as old!
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Tina...you are such a bitter hypocrite. You demanded no such action by Hillary Clinton in the late 1990's when Bill spent more than a year disgracing our country. Mrs. Sanford's statement is right on target in a world where forgiveness is possible.
Fortunately, unlike the empty-headed wife of former Governor Spitzer...she did not make herself a fool by showing up at the press conference. It seems Mrs. Sanford has it just right...forgiveness yes, but not without some concrete act of contrition by her husband.
I know you enjoy being an elitist snob Tina...what's a shame is that you really know very little about life, politics or marriage...and yet you continue to write about each with alarming ignorance.
It was silly of La Tina to comment seriously on this topic....
Word!
Silda Spitzer is a Harvard Law alumnus. The tragedy (from a distance) is not remotely that she's empty-headed, but that she's been willing to apply all her talents to support one of the least appealing public figures of our time.
I think the recent political history of our nation has shown that Harvard Law Graduates have done far more harm than good in this nation. Mrs. Spitzer is, no doubt, an educated woman. But, as we know, not all elitist educated women (or men) seem to covet common sense. Thank goodness Mrs. Sanford stands tall with this particular character trait.
She is an alumna, not an alumnus. She gave up NOTHING by marrying this wealthy man, leaving the all-consuming, draining, work-all-night-and-weekend life of a law firm associate for the comfortable, privileged existence of a Park Avenue wife.
Just an observation here... that was 20 years ago and the Clinton's handled their situation very differently. I don't believe for an instant that Mr. Clinton experienced either remorse or regret. His statement was in fact (if I remember right) "I did not have sex with that woman"... mincing words at best. Maybe I have too much of a black and white definition but I think that engaging in ANY kind of sexual activity with someone other than your spouse fits the definition of "having sex".
I will say that (from personal experience) we all handle these situations differently depending on our capacity for strength, our desire for reconciliation (driven by our own values, sense of whats right for the family) and our own interpretations of our significant others actions, remorse (or in my case -not!) and desires.
Gee, jpelhamtn, I wonder what your political affiliation is? (See the above and the comment below about how "the recent political history of our nation has shown that Harvard Law Graduates (sic) have done far more harm than good in this nation.") What about the Yale Law School graduates, such as George W. Bush?
Tina,
Love watching you on Morning Joe. However...You and Jenny Sanford must be really really close friends. Surely only a long-time confidant would feel justified in telling the rest of us just how their friend feels about being put under the public spotlight.
His pants are down, his cover's blown.... G Patton
I'm sorry, but I'm through playing this game. The leak. The scandal. The apology tour. The wife on Oprah. The Mistress gets a book deal and reality show. Political affairs have become our equivelent of gladiators in the coliseum. I've seen enough. The guy is a disgrace. He's not toast, he's the burnt crumbs in the bottom of a toaster at a sleazy diner and he has plenty of company down there. We need to collectively turn our toaster upside down and shake it over the trash can. There are good people in the country and we need to start electing a few of them. I hope this guy gets his life back together. I just don't want his rehab process clogging up our political process. Get lost Mark. Move to Argentina. Raise cattle on the pampas. Celebrate winter at the wrong time of the year. Strum love songs on your classical Spanish guitar. But do it somewhere else.
THANK YOU!
Sanford's been a terrible governor and he deserves what he gets. Ditching his kids on Father's Day and using taxpayer money to fly to another hemisphere to see his mistres. He's been on these junkets before, he only apologized now because he got caught.
Now hang on, it was *Father's* Day - why the moral opprobrium? If it had been Children's Day, then you could be critical, but seeing as he was a father, why shouldn't he celebrate his day in whatever way he likes?
I love how Tina has the "best" approach for this woman to act.
It's funny, how the hell would you know Tina? Did you have someone rip apart something that you helped build and publicly leave you and your children in the dust?
No, I'm sure you have a very smug, self-assured, imagination. The better to lampoon people with, you cold blooded carp.
Call me cynical, but I think that most marriages go through this over time - and it is not only the husbands stepping out (I'm guilty). It was his wife's choice to take on the role of wife/mother sans a professional career - we all make our choices and have to live with the consequences. The problem here is that the Republicans are the first to stand on the moral soap box and espouse moral indignation when these things happen to democrats. Also, his conduct as a governor is what is shocking here. You can't disappear for four days! I just don't think women should put so much stock in being a wife - it's only one part of who we are.
Tina,
You've been in the US long enought to know the difference between the Adirondacks and Appalachia. Written in haste. There's a HUGE difference. Bone up on your geography.
All in all I agree. I can't wait for the first woman to stand up and tell her husband to go to hell.
good piece Tina
doesn't anyone, including you, think maybe she actually still loves him and wishes to continue with him and their sons as a family?
Should she settle for his "pretending" to love her. The only offer he has made is to get his heart straight which probably means that the best he could do is stay with her to offer homage to his moral superiority. Who wants that?
How can they reconcile, though, when Mark has just spent a week with his mistress?
Hmm... close correlation between people in power, intense pressure, a willingness to live under a microscope and occasional (sometimes permanent) stupidity.
That said, IF, and it is a big one, he isn't completely trashed by his foes and he manages to repair, his inability to not be human could actually work in his favor. An obviously rough climb for a lame duck gov already in the doghouse at home and now with hordes of hounds and hunters at his heels. And a sticky tale to boot(y)!.
He has the hangdog part down....if he is contrite enough and Jenny takes him back, this may fade in time and his warts won't loom as large. Reality nonTVTV?
These are real folks who truly believe in their service. They and their kids deserve to sort things out on their own.
wasabi, all you said is true. But he is not doing his job (punlic duty)????going to Argentina a few times.....while being sexually intoxicated. Come on his mind is 24 hours thinking about his mistress. he is in lust Resign that is not public service.,people have really big problems and headaches in our country.this is a joke.Resign and there should be a law,they do not keep the healthcare,retirement, insurance, we all do not get these fringe benefits.
Why is it so difficult to understand that anyone who is steeped in Christian tradition cannot just cut and run?
The belief system demands that the Christian "forgive those who trespass against us," forgive "seventy times seven," and "turn the other cheek."
It doesn't mean a carte blanche doormat stance - it means an open heart and a willingness to do the work of forgiveness and reconciliation if the transgressor has a contrite heart.
Christian faith and doctrine are supposed to be the guidelines when the going gets tough - you cannot just get going.
The husband professes to be a Christian, and the wife appears to be doing a better job of adhering to the principles they claim to espouse.
Add to your list of women who have done likewise Mrs. Frank (Kathie Lee) Gifford, whose Christian faith is well-known and who lived up to her belief system, thought of her children, and forgave their father when he made an anal aperture of himself with an affair that became tabloid fodder.
This is the drill when you sign up for the Christian life, and you actually believe in the principles.
It doesn't make for very snarky copy, but this wife is attempting to live up the the Christian principles the couple was famous for espousing.
Even though I'm not a member of the Jesus club, I know the clubhouse rules, and she's doing a pretty good job of obeying them.
This is a sad situation for everyone but far be it from me to determine what Jenny Sanford is thinking. When you have four children it becomes a whole lot more complicated. I don't think Tina Brown has a clue as to what's going on with her and Mrs. Sanford is under no obligation to fill us in. If "the First Lady of South Carolina blew it", in her opinion, what exactly should she have done to get Ms. Brown's approval?
Finally, someone who knows what they are talking about.
It is difficult for many people to understand Mrs. Sanford's statement because our population has become woefully uneducated about Christianity and its teachings. The author's smugness is typical of the treatment given to someone who is open about their faith.
Oh please wouldn't the entire nation, indeed the entire world, love to see christian teachings actually practiced! Instead, we had years of Clinton baiting by such great christians as Newt, Sanford, Diaper Dave Vitter, bathroom man Craig and born again Ensign and too many more to bother to mention. That holier than thou smugness is so over. We see through it.
and we're tired of it. Try to practice it instead of talking about it or shoving it in someone's face.
Would these Christian principles be the same ones espoused by Newt Gingrich, especially when he went to the hospital to talk to his then wife about divorce just as she was recovering from cancer surgery?
Stop esposing Christian principles and TRY LIVING CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES.
Sanford may just as well have come out and said he was gay. The point that struck me is when he said he was going to work to set his heart straight (read -I am going to work to return to an empty arrangement to score a point for a certain moral superiority which I still fully embrace). Just like the claims of the religious right that gays can become straight if they just work at setting their hearts straight. Felt like I was attending a revival meeting/political rally. A truly pathetic display condoned by his party (by the outpouring of "sympathy" for a family that had long ago ceased to exist), and enabled by his wife per her sappy statement. They never give up on their hypocritical ways.
PS The state of South Carolina still has morality and decency laws on their books.
The sheer hypocricy is appaling. Feel sorry for him?? A puplic figure that campaigned on family values who travels on Father's Day to South America to nail his girl friend?? Hmmmmmmmmmmm....no, I don't think so!!!
He should resign today if he has a thread of respect for his family.
I'm not sure who we are to judge Mrs. Sanford and these other wives if we have not ourselves been in their position. Why is it that as women, our anger over the situation is being directed at the women who did NOT commit the offense? Ms. Brown, your comments would be more productive if they had been reflective on the larger phenomenon of women staying with cheating men, instead of berating a woman who is still in the midst of what must be an awful personal experience.
Thank you.
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