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What Bernie Should Read in Jail
As the Ponzi king heads to prison, he suddenly has a lot of time on his hands. Andy Borowitz recommends five books that should keep him busy for the next 150 years.
The Count of Monte Cristo. By Alexander Dumas. 1312 pages. Penguin Classics. $15.
The Count of Monte Cristo
by Alexandre Dumas
There’s a lot for Bernie to savor in this classic of French literature: Edmond Dantès is arrested and sentenced to a lengthy term at an unforgiving island prison, the Chateau D’If, only to escape and re-invent himself as a French aristocrat. While I’m not sure if Bernie possesses the derring-do to emulate Dantès, this book should give him something to fantasize about as he makes license plates, breaks rocks, and devises a cigarette-driven Ponzi scheme.
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Make him join Mary Kay.
Muhahahaa!
He should read the Bible.
Thank you.
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