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What does and doesn’t "work” on asexuals, emotionally and psychologically, was the focus of Dr. Nicole Prause and Dr. Cynthia Graham’s 2007 study, Asexuality: Classification and Characterization. Prause, assistant professor of clinical psychology at Idaho State University, examined asexuals and found many had engaged in masturbation at some point. A similar 2008 study conducted by Dr. Lori Botto et. al. found that the frequency of masturbation among the study’s sample of asexuals was not far from the rest of the population.
But in both studies, the language asexuals used to describe masturbation and sex was clinical, even mechanical. One patient quoted in Dr. Botto’s study described sex with her partner as trying “to see what our body parts do to each other.” Botto posits that maybe asexuals engage in sex and masturbation for purely physiological reasons, to release tension or keep their partners satisfied.
Look at this way, it might sound like asexuals aren’t uninterested in sex as much as they’re uninterested in people. But Dr. Prause is emphatic that her research finds no evidence of psychopathology in asexuals. Instead, she says, “I honestly think it’s just part of normal human variability.”
Sara Beth Brooks, a high-energy San Diego community organizer, can testify to the medical community’s struggle with asexuality. Brooks has had several boyfriends throughout her life and isn’t a virgin. “I turned 18 and I started having sex with the guy I was dating,” she says. “And it was my choice, but I didn’t start doing it because I wanted to.”
At 21, Sara Beth was engaged (to a different man) and still not interested in sex. She underwent hormone treatments with progesterone and testosterone, and participated in talk therapy. It wasn’t until she learned about asexuality that things made sense. Now she identifies as asexual and feels that throughout her various attempts to feel sexual desire, “There was nothing wrong with me. It was just the way I was made.”
It seems asexuality would be a natural add-on to the ever-growing LGBT acronym. But Carrie Davis, the director of adult services at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center in New York, expresses some uncertainty about asexuality as orientation. “We’re an institution that deals with sexual orientation. So if someone was lesbian, gay, or bisexual, that would be a sexual orientation.” Davis is quick to say she doesn’t feel asexuality can’t be an orientation, but where exactly it warrants intellectual and societal space is less clear.
One place asexuals don’t want to be included is in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, the new version of which may include asexuality. Jay says that, through AVEN, asexuals have been documenting their opinions and the opinions of “friendly” professionals on asexuality, and submitting these testimonials to the APA in the hopes that their input will keep asexuality out of the manual. They point in part to the fact that homosexuality, now considered normal, was classified as a disorder as recently as 1973.
But it might not be enough. As Carrie Davis from the LGBT Community Center points out, “Our culture is OK talking about straight and talking about gay. They have trouble with everything else in between.”
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centralnjbill
Asexuality, for those without physiological problems, is merely a way for people to remain in the closet about their sexuality. To say you have no interest in sex means you have no reproductive instinct and, therefore, are to be combed out by Evolution so that your defect does not get sent to the next generation. Physically healthy people who claim they are asexual just don't want you to notice their same-sex couplings--or haven't yet admitted it to themselves. Been there, done that...
MusicFan
I am asexual. Though I occasionally wish that it were a cover for same-sex attraction because at least then I would be something that society believes exists and has a category for, I can assure that it is not. It is, as someone quoted in the article states, like living in a country and not speaking the language. In any setting with sexual undertones, I have to consciously figure and and mimic the "normal" response so as to fit in with those around me. If it were a matter of repressed sexuality, wouldn't at least some aspects of sexual identification strike a commond chord in my mind?
And incidentally, though I personally do not want children and do not think I would be well-suited to raising them (apparently I really don't have a reproductive instinct) there are asexuals who wish to become parents.
Cymatic
Well stated. Even as a five year old, I knew I liked women. My gay friends tell me of knowing the same thing very strongly as children as well. While Centrainjbill's assertion could be possible, I don't buy it. I dated an asexual when I was 18 and she told me that she just didn't have any sex drive. I assumed that she 'hadn't had the right experience yet' and tried everything. She was interested in cuddling and romance but I couldn't get anything going in bed with her at all - it was totally unlike anything I had ever experienced. Later at age 30 we dated again, and I kind of expected her to have "worked through" her "sexual block" but nothing had changed.
My mom has a couple of friends who are married and have children who have confided in her that they are Asexual. They basically just fake it, but after they have kids they often put their husbands on a once a month program kind of as a favor or a chore that needs to be done. So I don't think your genetic argument works - and genetics is very complicated - two very competitive and successful gene sequences can in combination be uncompetitive. If it were so simple all genetic diseases and infirmaties would have been weeded out thousands or millions of years ago. Centrainjbill - I suggest you read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins to get a greater understanding.
Music Fan - thanks for sharing your personal experiences, I hope society will come to accept your status.
OldHeathen
Cymatic
My mom has a couple of friends who are married and have children who have confided in her that they are Asexual. They basically just fake it, but after they have kids they often put their husbands on a once a month program kind of as a favor or a chore that needs to be done."
See what men have to put up with! Once per month! :O And thought waiting till the weekend was Tourcher. This is why America NEEDS legalized prostitution.
mredder4
Your experiences are your own, and no one else's. Concurrently, someone else's experiences are their own, and not yours. Whatever did or didn't happen with/to you doesn't preclude the existence of something.
Human culture has also moved far beyond the sex-only-for-procreation phase too, FYI. According to your logic, people who use condoms might as well stop having sex all together, right? No kids, no point, after all, isn't that what you're saying?
Sexuality, like all things, is measured on a bell curve. For every million heterosexuals, there might be 5,000 gays (or something like that, I don't know the exact percentage), and relative to those 5,000 are the 10 that are asexual. They exist because they have to exist. You can't measure sexuality (or anything for that matter) against nothing. For every person you've met who's one of those bubbling personalities that's always in a good mood, there's someone who's always depressed. It's the way the universe works, so I think it's a little uneducated to assume that because you don't believe in it that it doesn't exist.
lmktacwa
That may be your opinion, your personal truth. However, it isn't everyone's opinion or personal truth.
To point at someone different and say it is somehow "defective" is immature and downright ignorant.
joymars
Really harsh. And sloppy evolution theory and pop psychology, I might add.
djanimaequeen
If that were true centralnjbill, asexuality would have been combed out ages ago. In a sex obesessed society such as ours, I can see why people can be turned off by it. People are raped and killed everyday because of perverts who think they have a right relieve their urges and violate others. You have a lot of nerve to judge just because you were in the closet. Asexual does not mean homosexual. They could have been abused or are simply turned off by sex. Just because you can't imagine a life without sex doesn't mean that others can't either. Try respecting the lifestyles of others before you go demanding that society respect yours.
lx-Isaac
Your ignorance shows...
1) There is many different ways genes for asexuality (presuming such a genetic factor exists) could be passed down, the genes could offer some other benefit (disease resistance, more attractive looks etc )that outweighs its negative effects on the small number of people whom it kills the libidos of. Having the gene might only make u asexual in a very small number of cases, while providing u with extra benefits (read: evolutionary advantage) in others.
i'm not saying thats the case, just that its entirely possible.
2) If the evolutionary biology confuses you, then we can look at this using pure logical reasoning. By ur reasoning asexual isnt possible, because they would have died out. By the same logic, there would be no homosexuals. The fact that there ARE homosexuals disproves of your argument.
learn to think
miami0
This is a response to this article and to all the comments. Watch this video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOUGpKjEcgo
Pause at :56 to :58 and look at Michael's package. Let me know what you think.
baptox
"As he grew older and the more he started to change physically, the more asexual he became to me" says everything about Brooke Shields projections and sexual development and nothing about that of Michael Jackson. That Mr.Jackson repeatedly had children in his bed, despite lawsuits and accusations of child molestation, says something very clear about Jackson's lack of judgement, arrested emotional development and probable sexual preference for children, rather than adults. Perhaps Brooke Shields was picking up on this disturbing vibe and chose to interpret Jackson's childlike manner, increasingly feminine appearance and affinity for children as "asexuality."
If hypersexuality, sexual addiction and fluctuations in people's sexual drive throughout their life occur, why shouldn't asexuality be accepted as a norm for some people? Afterall, what we're really discussing here is the brain and how it functions, not sexual organs and their ability to function.
Too bad more people aren't asexual. The world's population would decrease, sexually transmitted diseases, sexual assaults would decrease and fewer women and children would be forced into sexual slavery.
emarejay
As a heterosexual male, I find asexuality more comprehensible than homosexuality. If one believes that sexual preference is genetic and that the vastly dominant expression of this gene is heterosexuality, it would make sense that any minority of sexuality is possible and the ones closer to the dominant expression would be more likely to occur than the extreme opposite. I guess this depends on whether there is a single gene or a series of them. A single gene for heterosexuality and the lack of that gene for homosexuality would make asexuality a more complicated area. It's interesting and very complicated stuff. I don't know what I believe anymore. All I know for sure is that "flamboyant" gay males unequivocally annoy the hell out of me. I have no problem with their personal lives and orientations, but I rank that type of social behavior as more repugnant than arrogance or other commonly pejorative personality traits.
Cleanerman
Yes, if there were a loving G-d, he would instantly make all humans asexual. Then, within a short time, true nature could rule the earth again! Humans would become history.
I have a lot of regrets in my life (I have wasted much of it) but I do not regret that I did not bring a child into this world.
keemia
1- michael jackson was gay according to this article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1196009/Im-better-dead-Im-How-Micha el-Jackson-predicted-death-months-ago.html Just because brook shields, who hadn't seen him since 1991, claimed that MJ was asexual, doesn't make him so.
2- I'm surprised that such a long article on sex and sexuality doesn't have a single mention of hormonal sampling. maybe all these people have a hormone disorder??
weak article at best.
tsylechka
Speaking of Michael Jackson - there is an interesting theory that his asexuality has a very materialistic explanation - castration by his father before puberty.
http://www.itwaslost.org/2009/06/comments-from-michael-jackson_28.html
Joe Jackson was (and still is) a greedy bastard with no morals whatsoever and Michael often spoke of horrible abuse from his father. I very much hope that the autopsy will address that issue. Liza Minnelli has recently said that after the autopsy all hell would break loose...
getoffofmylawn
well, i'm asexual, and i've been checked for hormonal issues before and my tests came back perfect.
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
mothnflame
Excuse me, but is there a MODERATOR IN THE HOUSE?
Can we get this l_o_v_i_n_g_r_i_c_h whore out of here?
Thanks...
spinozareader
Here, here!
The loving rich troll has already visited this site, as something called "doipyi" or some such nonsense. I e-mailed the Beast to complain, and to its credit; "doi" was removed.
They just need us to give 'em a heads up about these head cases.
(and p.s. "diks" in the screen name oughtta be a BIG RED FLAG!!--along with that weird, jarring "punctuation." Right out of a Thai sex slave ring, if you ask me.)
joymars
Thank you. This has been going on for many months. I flag it every time, to no avail.
exploora
What was Michael thinking? He should have joined this.
jonjon66
We all know Michael Jackson never actually had sex with anyone.
MeanDean
Several years back, cartoonist Keith Knight ('The K Chronicles') stated he was convinced M. Jackson was innocent of all charges of pedophilia. Why? Because M. Jackson was the only real-life person to have an action figure made that was anatomically correct.
Banjo1
The Daily Beast will absolutely the last to leave the Michael Jackson story.
joymars
No, CNN had it all over the place tonight, July 19. I turned the tube off altogether.
opedanderson
Michael Jackson and Sarah Palin......
Everything on Earth is influenced by or because of either one of these two........according to the TDB.........
Cleanerman
Too much said here. It shouldn't matter whether one is asexual, bi, straight, gay. A lot of people, like me for sure, chose to live a false asexual life because it is easy, simple, uncomplicated and there is no one to cheat! I have my friendships. It seems friends are more apt to remain friends than lovers are to remain lovers. It is so easy just not to get involved romantically. And, I know for a fact, of couples who are married but, there is no sex--they are bonded as friends. Aging makes a difference, too, of course.
lmktacwa
Here, Here! Well said... asexuality as a life choice is just as valid, and results in a whole lot less drama in life!!!
Why is it such a big deal to some people that others don't have sex? I think many people are intimidated by those who are blissfully happy alone and comfortable with their own company and personal lifestyle.
Alone does not mean lonely. If you are in touch with your soul and have a healthy sense of humor, life can be lived with a different perspective. It can be full of a deep sense of joy that others who are a slave to their sexual desires may never experience.
Peace Out!
stephschiff
I imagine many of the people who can't believe that people are asexual just can't wrap their brain around the fact that not everyone is like them. Having lived in quite a few places it always amuses me how different people really are based on where they were raised, in what religion (or lack there-of), and the sociopolitical leanings of their parents.
When you throw biological differences into the mix, it adds another layer of disconnect for people that have lived in a more monolithic culture. This seems like a similar reaction to the one my Grandmother's generation had when the word Gay stopped being pejorative and started to be used in the media and popular culture as just another aspect of someone's life.
We do have over-population on this planet - could this be nature's attempt to reign things in?
stephschiff
As a "life choice"? I'm sure there are some people that choose to live this way, but this clearly is not the case with the woman in the article. I remember being 15 - and nothing about it involved a lack of interest in the opposite sex and making out!
djanimaequeen
lmktacwa
Well said to you too!
joymars
Sure Jacko was asexual. Right. That's why he grabbed his crotch and made insinuating gestures. That's why once during the taping of a music video he grabbed it and actually masturbated in front of everyone and the cameras until the director yelled "cut!"
lmktacwa
Wow, did you dream that one up yourself?
joymars
It will come out in the many bios on him. Stay tuned.
Cymatic
Sounds like an urban legend, like the about Frank Zappa eating shit on stage. He was asked if this true. He said, "I have never in my life knowingly eaten shit; although, I did come very close at the Ramada in buffet in 1973!"
If you have any credible sources for your story please post them.
Personally I am quite suspicious of Michael Jackson as he was quite passionate about sleeping naked with young boys. Even after the first time he was forced to endure public humiliation, reprisals from his family, financial payouts, etc., he still insisted on continuing this practice. I trust that Brooke is telling the truth that he had no sexual response towards her or other women, but that doesn't mean he didn't have a response (either repressed or not) towards young boys. I don't think we will know the real answer, but his behavior was irresponsible in this regard and deserves to be met with suspicion.
This comment has been removed by The Daily Beast's editors.
joymars
WILL THE BEAST TAKE THESE SPAMMERS OUT PLEASE?
aspiecelia
Narcotics decrease sex drive, especially large amounts and especially over a long period of time.
Genni2002
Good points and interesting article. In fact, there is no doubt that religious leaders or the creators probably brought their own opinion (desires) into the organization, style, development and rules of their religion. If you can have pedos, deviants, gays, heteros, etc.. why wouldn't you also have a part of the spectrum that includes not interested ins?
Personally, am quite sick of the media's incessant portraying of women as sex pots and objects. Maybe they could back off?
Demeralda
I have known several people who are asexual. That part of life just doesn't concern them, there are plenty of other distractions.
museweaver
yep, i've known them too--married one---we did have sex and had kids however, he had no interest ever----as a single man now, he dates an asexual woman whose husband left her for a woman who wanted sex---they exist---don't know the psychopathology of it all but they exist----
Levonsky
Asexual?
Sounds like something to aspire to.
After fifty years as a hetero male - at times its like being chained to a madman.
Thank you.
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