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My Advice to Kanye
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Jackass, meet Major League. The Daily Beast’s Adam Clymer, whom George W. Bush called a “major league asshole,” offers words of wisdom for Obama cuss victim Kanye West.
Dear Mr. West,
On behalf of myself and Senator Patrick Leahy, I congratulate you on being chosen for our club, The Cussed Out by Higher Authority Who Didn’t Believe Microphones Work Club.
Should we ever meet, I will show you the secret handshake, but I can tell you it involves an extended middle finger.
Senator Leahy and I agree you have an exalted position in our club, not because we believe the presidential description was apt—after all, there were a few critics who thought Cheney was right about Leahy and Bush and Cheney were right about me. Accuracy has nothing to do with standards for club membership.
Change your email address immediately. If you don’t, the wingnuts will fill up your incoming files instantly. In your case, unlike ours, their message will probably be supportive.
But even though the president’s language toward you was relatively mild (calling you a “jackass” is hardly obscene; vulgar perhaps, but not on the level of “major league asshole” or “go fuck yourself”), you were honored by being denounced by the president himself.
• Choire Sicha: Leave Kanye Alone After all, when George W. Bush denounced me—I’ve always been a little bit hurt that I didn’t make “world class,” but only “major league”—he was only the governor of Texas. His echo chamber, “Big Time,” as Dick Cheney became known in the campaign, was only an out-of-work Texas oilman who had not yet seized control of the White House. Remember, Al Gore and Joe Lieberman might have gotten more votes and won the 2000 election, and then how memorable would my episode have been? Fellow club member Leahy was told to perform an anatomically impossible act by a sitting, though unarmed, vice president, so we believe he outranks me, too.
So you outrank us on that standard, and we pay appropriate homage.
• Watch the 5 Best Late-Night Mea Culpas
• Watch 6 Classic Kanye Freakouts A few words of warning. Change your email address immediately. If you don’t, the wingnuts will fill up your incoming files instantly, probably crashing your computer in the process. In your case, unlike ours, their message will probably be supportive, hailing you as the first line of defense against foreign-born socialism. Anyone Obama calls a jackass will probably emerge as a hero to Joe Wilson and Sarah Palin. You may even find yourself invited to speak to Republican dinners, or even find yourself mentioned as a presidential candidate.
Then you can pass on the honor to someone else. Taylor Swift, maybe? And remember, say you didn’t think the microphone was live.
Adam Clymer is a former chief Washington correspondent of the New York Times and author of Edward M. Kennedy: A Biography.
For inquiries, please contact The Daily Beast at editorial@thedailybeast.com.
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sophia5
Kanye should use a little self deprecating sarcasm
on his apology tour, instead of the heavy pity party display on Jay Leno's show.
"Sorry, it's so unlike me to jump onstage in the
middle of an acceptance speech and steal someone's thunder." Then maybe the audience would laugh it off.
His mother dying would be a weak excuse because he was
doing the same shit long before his mom passed.
glenndale
You bet he was:
Kanye West crashing stage at EMA's after losing to Justice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTJxj7a9-DA
GM2009
I suspect that you are assuming Kanye West is nuanced enough to make such a distinction.
Oh, and Mr. Klymer, 'jackass' is vulgar? Maybe in church.
pricklypear
An A??hole by any other name
is still an A??sshole.
ktblack
Thanks for reminding me how much I missed W.
BasPos
Not!
;-)
BullMoose
You know what i'm sayin'?
CommonSensePleeze
BTW this is All off the Record...
Q: Were your Girls as hacked off as mine were that Kanye gave Taylor Swift the Joe Wilson treatment?
Obama: I thought that was really Inappropriate. You know it was like she's getting an award -- why are you butting in?
Obama: The young lady seems like a Perfectly Nice Person. She's getting her award. What's he doing up there?
Q: Why did he do that?
Obama: He's a jackass.
Where's the pool?
Come on guys. Cut the President some Slack. I got a lot of other Stuff on My Plate. Yeah. Cause I remember last time it was the "Fly" thing. Now that was the highlight of interview (Talking about the "Fly Swat" Obama did in Harwood's last interview)
Well, All in All he (the president) is still a gracious guy even when he's calling a rapper a Jack'ss!
CateyK
This is one very truthful hilarious piece Mr. Clymer. Kudos to you! I started to hate Mr. West until he showed remorse. But don't let me stop the secret handshakes.
Persefunny
Nice try, Major League.
pricklypear
Big time.
borntoraisehogs
Kanye West likes fishsticks . He likes fishsticks in his mouth . He is a gay fish .
overdue
It's true. I saw him say it on TV. He's a clueless fishdicks lover.
bryanlevi
Was this written by a retarded person?
I kinda think maybe Bush Jr was right about you man.
marleyh
uhhh... Jackass is another word for DONKEY. It is not a A-hole. soooo....
bcaldwell
Awwww Clymer, don't sell yourself short, you're an incredible a-hole. So is Leahy and Kanye West....well let's just say he took it to new heights. In his defense, at least he can blame it on the cognac, what's your excuse?
naomaf
I am not condoning the West action, but I have no IDEA how this gal won the award. I saw her on THE VIEW and she has such a wispy voice and sits there strumming the guitar with a few people behind her who can obviously play some instrument. The song she sang about "15" was dumb also. What is this person's talent? Pretty, yes -- but so what?
pricklypear
We saw your comment elsewhere on the DB. It is not relevant here. Apparently you are the dummy.
judyjetson
The award was for her VIDEO, not for her song. Regardless of your opinion, a lot of people really like her. They also really like Kanye West, for reasons that are totally unfathomable to me.
amanda07070
I don't get it Judy. Because regardless of YOUR opinion, I don't care that the reasons people like Kanye west are "totally unfathomable" to you!
In one breath you're saying no one cares about anothers opinion and in the next breath your GIVING your opinion ??
BTW - My opinion is that they BOTH stink.
BullMoose
naomaf is just another black racist like West, trash scum resenting the fact he is ugly,bucktoothed, and dumb as a rock.
magicman
We live in a Country of Jackasses. Isn't that all so clear now that David Stockman's Trojan Horse has been strip-teased in Public and opened to full view for all voyeurs? Only Ms. Chablis herself would be a more horrid sight.
BullMoose
West is just a racist, who must have some crush on Beyonce, but she already knows he is as dumb as a rock.
so the idiot takes his frustrations out on a little girl. like punk rap wannabes do.
Like a said, he is nothing but a racist rapper, and a better racist than rapper.
flavor13
I don't quite understand this article -- I'm not sure what you did, and I am pretty sure what Leahy did, but only West got up on stage completely drunk and made a Jackass of himself on live television. I don't really see the connection -- is there something about you we should know?
aaronsirbaihu
Adam Clymer, did it take you over ten minutes to write and revise this entire piece? I hope not?
Thank you.
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