Hotels that Help You Cheat

Specifically, Greenlee says, “The whole strata of Gotham was designed around keeping the premium spots—meaning those with the most space, the best waiters, and so forth—a little less exposed.” One trick used at the restaurant was to position a few very inviting tables against a far wall facing outward. That way, both customer and date can get the full effect of the action and, indeed, feel like they’re presiding over it. The “action,” meanwhile, is none the wiser.

It’s a popular approach. Joey Allaham, managing partner at the Oak Room in New York’s landmark Plaza Hotel, says they’ve also used design in this way, employing dim lighting and “a few cozy tables very much tucked to the sides.”

At All Times, Ignore and Deny

“Interestingly, when I was first learning the bar trade at the LAB Bar in London, one of the first tenets we were taught was to never, under any circumstances whatsoever, greet a patron with even a hint of familiarity unless you were first acknowledged in said fashion,” says Jamie Gordon, now a brand manager for Plymouth Gin. “The extended explanation I received—and to this day pass on—is that bars are seen as a refuge from whatever ails elsewhere, so protection of the interests and privacy of paying clientele was paramount to a successful establishment.”

It’s not just your friendly bartender who’s keeping mum. Codes of silence extend to restaurants and hotels, such as Wynn Las Vegas, where one advertising brand coordinator confirmed that employees are told to give out no information whatsoever about guests—from how many people may be in a room, to whether an individual is even there at all. And it goes without saying that at places like these, a forgotten item will never, ever just show up on your doorstep—you’ll have to call yourself to retrieve it.

The sealed-lips strategy becomes useful more often than you might think. At One If by Land, “we frequently get calls from wives, asking if their husbands are here," says Martino. "It can be awful; some will really open up, or pose specific questions about the women they think might be with them. Others will beg. We have to just keep explaining that we’re not in a position to say anything either way. It’s hard to do, but believe me, this isn’t news you want to get from a concierge.”

Turning the Tables: What Makes a Place Good for Cheating?

Pulling together all these pointers, it seems the key to keeping a love affair off the grid doesn't necessarily lie in the most anonymous, unrecognized choice. Like your high thread count linens, discretion is a premium amenity, and the higher you travel up the price-point ladder, the better off you are. For example, practical as choosing a low-cost hotel within a large chain may seem, it appears unlikely the person behind the desk at, say, the Days Inn would spend much time thinking about how much or little to reveal about your whereabouts on a given afternoon. Likewise, it's tough to imagine a scenario where all the staffers at just about any large conference hotel would remember to do something like consistently list and refer to you by a name other than what's on your credit card.

By contrast, not too long ago, a gentleman checked into an exclusive Bora Bora resort with his mistress. He found himself having such a delightful time that he decided to not only extend his own stay past the girlfriend's, but to also get his wife in on the fun. On her arrival, he'd have to pretend, of course, he'd never seen the property before. All in a day's work, the manager said, and proceeded to send out memos outlining a watertight plan for reintroducing him to the resort. Not exactly a service feature you'd find in the brochure. But, for a certain type of client, it's all part of the package.

Sara Reistad-Long is a New York-based writer. Her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Esquire, and O, The Oprah Magazine, among others. She can also be found blogging at www.sveltegourmand.com, where she explores the intersection of health and delicious food.

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