An Ode to Shaggy Men

British comedienne Lucy Porter has penned a sweet tribute to hirsute men in her new book, Hairy Hunks. She speaks with Marisa Meltzer about ’staches, beards, and her crush on Stalin.

Was your first crush on Luke Perry from Beverly Hills, 90210—just for his elegant sideburns? Do you love Tom Jones for his extravagant chest hair alone, or bemoan the day that Brad Pitt or Jake Gyllenhaal reverted from stubbly chins to clean-shaven faces? Finally, there comes a book that understands your aesthetic.

Hairy Hunks: A Celebration of Shaggy Stallions released by Abrams this month, honors the hirsute male in all his many splendors, from moustaches to body hair to beards. Writer Lucy Porter isn’t afraid to be a teeny bit highbrow with her shaggy heartthrobs either, quoting, “He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man.” (Much Ado About Nothing).

Porter came of age during the Miami Vice-led stubble fad of the ‘80s, and an affection for the furry man never really faded for the British standup comedian. Porter says she has held strong to the preference for its unexpected rewards. “I enjoy dating beardy blokes because you get to kiss and exfoliate at the same time,” she quips to The Daily Beast. She goes on to tell a story about how she saw a man on a poster who she found incredibly attractive—and it turned out to be an ad for the biography of Young Stalin. “Essentially what I discovered is that Stalin is my type,” she laughs. “I have also been tempted by Osama bin Laden and Charles Manson. Apparently I have a thing for evil mass murderers as long as they're hairy.”

Universal / Everett “As Wolverine, Hugh Jackman obviously appeals to the kind of woman or man who likes a guy with generous sideburns—and retractable claws,” Porter jokes.

Gary Leonard / Corbis Of course, the book covers the hair metal era, though Porter admits that the giant ‘80s manes were never her favorites. “The Crüe have been through artistic difficulties, addictions, and woman trouble, but the one habit they couldn't kick was hairspray,” Porter says. “If I'm honest, I think they look slightly terrifying, but Pam Anderson and Heather Locklear can't be wrong, can they?”

Musicians have always held a special place in the shaggy pantheon, but Porter notes in the book that she prefers them a bit more grunge than glam. “I guess my major adolescent crush was on Kurt Cobain,” she says. “I used to be something of an indie kid, and the guys I liked wore beanie hats over greasy hair, and let their facial hair grow unchecked. This is probably why I now prefer men who look a bit homeless.” Dave Grohl, another former member of Nirvana, has become Porter’s shaggy icon. “He has probably single-handedly done more to make the beard cool than anyone else.”

She loves that modern-day indie bands like Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, and The Magic Numbers have adopted a longhaired, bearded look reminiscent of 1960s California. “It's a good time to be a beard lover right now.”