Blogs and Stories
How to Write a Winning Ivy League Essay
Hannah Edwards
UC-Berkeley
Class of 2013
“Beautiful. B to the back, b to the back. So b first. beautiful. Next, it’s that French thing. Gosh ... Uea, no e … a … u. Eau. So beau. Beautiful. Ti. That’s easy. Beauti. Beautiful. Full. No not full: ful. They chop that l off, so b-eau-ti-ful.”
I’ve just spent 30 seconds agonizing over how to spell one of the more basic words in the English language and a good part of that time trying to remember how to write the letter b. That sequence is partially a flash back to a fourth grade spelling test, but honestly, it’s a thought process I will have to go through about a hundred times this year with equally basic words because I am, and always will be, dyslexic.
I have never been able to spell, but it wasn’t until 4th grade that I found out the, ironically hard to spell, word for my condition. When everyone did realize what was going on and why it was that I got Cs in spelling, I was packed off to resource room (i.e. Special Ed) to learn how to write pretty.
At first I liked it. Resource room gave me an excuse not to do well in spelling, and it let me spend class time doing silly spelling exercises. It let me avoid my problem and at the same time pretend I was doing something to correct it, but in all honesty it was just a waste of time. I didn’t want to recognize its futility at first, but eventually I couldn’t ignore it and had to come to terms with the fact that resource room was aspirin for a broken arm: It made things seem a bit better, but it did nothing to fix the problem. When I came to terms with this I convinced my mother to take me out of resource room and that I could take responsibility for my own problem, and that is exactly what I did, and have done ever since.
I was freed from resource room on the condition that I get A's on every other spelling test that year, which I did. Since then I have realized that I can never allow myself to live life in a metaphorical resource room. I must take accountability and responsibility for myself, and not accept special treatment where there is anyway I can avoid it. This philosophy was tested last year when I was signing up for the SAT.
My mother was handing over her credit card when she asked me if I thought extra time would be useful on the SAT.
“Well, yeah,” I said smiling as I took her credit card, “that essay is insane, 25 minutes makes for some nasty results.”
“Why don’t you apply to get some extra time? If it will help you should,” she suggested, “you’re eligible.”
“No. It’s an artificial compensation that would only last as long as schools are forced to provide it; the real world can’t make those kind of concessions so I can’t take that crutch.”
My mother offered no resistance to my stance and I typed in her AmEx number while I reflected on the implications of my denial. I have spent a lot of time agonizing over how to spell the simplest words, and I doubt anyone has quite attained my level of red underlines in a word document, but that just means checking the dictionary and an age spent poring over SpellCheck. I have never taken extra time or other benefits on standardized tests and I never will, because that is not how I want to succeed. I want to sink or swim on my own and not use water wings to get through the world. I don’t want to do well for someone with dyslexia; I want to do well period. At this point my inability to spell is more of a punchline to my friends’ jokes than a disability and I am determined to keep it that way, because I have worked too hard to let something so trivial in the grand scheme define me.







pianofortepazza
Great essays and original ideas. But the essays always have to respond to a prompt--can you possibly add the prompts so we can see what the essay is in response to? That can show us even more how these writers were creative in their responses.
flyoverland
So, talk about all your non-white friends, criticize anything traditional, mock religion, mention anything that remotely sounds Bohemian and if possible, send it in a folder with an Obama sticker on the front. I don't blame these students. They seem smart and smart guys will feed them what they think they want. These college admissions officers, however, seem to be very one-dimensional. This is why I predict the leaders of tomorrow will come from State universities where they are less concerned about painting a social picture and more about personal achievement and responsibility. These exclusive schools are becoming a parody. One can only look forward to the next decade when most of the sixties hippies who never grew up and became squatters in our system of higher education will be gone to commune with whatever they have been seeking all these years.
loloo33
it's true! does it call trustafarian???? you know the fake young hippie with rich parents.
aaronsirbaihu
Nice jab at "these college admissions officers." Maybe you can share some of your superior orientation with them and the rest of us by suggesting proper essay prompts! I'm looking forward to your reply.
(I went to a state university. Sorry: it was the top-twenty kind, which I'm sure you look down on. But thank you for appreciating my "personal achievement and responsibility." I keep them next to my Obama shrine. I love our president!)
flyoverland
I have nothing against top-twenty kids. I used to have many of them working for me before I sold the company I started using my third-rate, "at" state school education that I paid for by working 40 hours a week while graduating in four years. Its like the Chancellor of my school told me when he asked me to give the commencement address some years back and I mentioned my grades were not that great. He said, "The A students end up working for the C students and the B Students teach. I'm guessing the B- students become admissions clerks and the A- students worship politicians.
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judgeinmillvalley
i don't know why you assume that classes in "private" schools are always small. Check out lectures in the Ivy League. A class on "justice" at Harvard, for example, consists of lectures to a thousand students at a time. Hands held up have to be very sure of themselves.
semolinapilchard
Ummm Ivy League schools don't have any smaller classes than your average state school. I go to a big state school and my elective classes have 20-50 while the cores can have up to a thousand. Just like the Ivys.
goldgoose
Ivy League? America's idiot President George W. Bush had degrees from Yale and a graduate degree from Harvard; so that is what Ivy League means? Believe it, there are no American intellectuals! America has an Afghanistqan/Iraq mentality. After Hiroshima and Nagasaki America succumbed to toxic nuclear reasoning. George Washington, you're American democratic Republic is brain dead.
MaCaCa
You miserable sot, where the hell are you from to say such a thing like America has no intellectuals? I think about 300 Nobel laureates will disagree with you.
kdzndgz
Generalizations are of no help. BTW President Obama went to Columbia, that's Ivy league is it not?
amantell
I do wonder about how scenarios like this play out. After all, your typical student's family isn't going to have the means to undertake a lot of the exotic types of adventures that supposedly distinguish an applicant. I suspect that for many teenagers, a big adventure is taking a trip to Hawaii.
Since grades are the primary determinant in whether a student is able to handle a school's curriculum, the student essay is probably an easier way for a kid to eliminate himself from consideration than gain acceptance. Most of the essays are likely to be quite banal, given that their authors are children. An unusual essay may stick out for the wrong reasons as well as the right ones.
The one upside to the student essay I can think of has to do with the students from poorer backgrounds; not because they can tell stories of their trials and tribulations, but because their families can't afford the heavy coaching that many wealthier kids can. The latter are more likely to produce a cookie-cutter essay that may be technically correct but is devoid of individuating features. The poorer student is more likely to use his own imagination because he doesn't have the paid guidance to do otherwise.
flyoverland
While grades are important, a story here several months ago quoted a Harvard Admissions clerk who said they could have easily filled three freshmen classes of kids with the same grades. It seems schools have some "liberal social quotas" that are actually more important than grades. My daughter attends a very rigorous private high school where the college admission counselors have told us bluntly that some "elite" schools now view the traditional, private prep school experience as a negative. They say while test scores have gone up, the number of Ivy bound students has declined. In the past, admission to an Ivy was based on grades and money. Today, it seems it is based on grades and a liberal viewpoint.
semolinapilchard
Better that than money.
flyoverland
You should try money, you might like it.
isabella
It would be fairer to put the names of all student with top grades into a hat. What is the point of a university education if students already "know" the answers before doing the work? Closed minds entering. Closed minds leaving. It explains the pedestrian intellects that dominate media and politics these days.
It isn't liberal to exclude people who don't agree with you. It is what liberals have become these days: fascist/stalinist. Pick one, doesn't much matter which.
aaronsirbaihu
Isabella, why should fairness be the first criterion in admissions? Do the students choose a college based on fairness? Do you choose a spouse, a home, or a job based on fairness?
I think we all know why you don't get the point of a university education. . . .
Are you saying the Ivy League schools are not being liberal ("It isn't liberal . . .") and you're upset about that?
Stalin killed ten million of his own people (and took his country's economy from #5 in the world to #2). Care to explain how liberals are Stalinist?
Did you know that the fascists (Italians) and the Communists (Russians) actually fought against each other in WWII? And Hitler sent Communists to concentration camps. How are stalinism and fascism so similar in your mind?
slobone
"I was through with pain, through with foot surgeries and obsessions and disappointments, and saying goodbye to a lifelong pursuit of ballet would be no exception."
That's not even acceptable English -- "would be no exception" makes no sense. Have these kids been taught to think before they write, or do they just spout whatever cliché comes to mind?
rclare
My early decision application is due in 5 days. Cumulatively my essays have gone through over 15 drafts. The effort put into these essays is unimaginable and I find it incredibly insensitive to attack the first weak sentence you see. We are all 18 years old and not perfect writers yet. Please rethink your initial reactions to these essays. There is so much more depth to them than one "cliche" sentence.
olive007
Oftentimes, academic success doesn't lead to career or life success. Admission officers should try to ferret out students with the most potential to lead productive lives. The ability to master schoolwork is a somewhat limited indicator. I know plenty of highly educated losers.
flyoverland
Exactly. Unfortunately, too many of them wind up in government.
Derida
The secret is this- ENTERTAIN the "C" students who hold these jobs as gatekeepers to the best schools. Think about it- even if you have top credentials coming from an Ivy League institution why would you take a job in an admissions office - there isnt another job on the planet better than reading rank essays and putting thumbs up or down on kids lives?? Like I said- "C" students opening the gates or slamming them shut on brilliant kids- I have not been terribly impressed by the Ivy League process. Entertain them and don't be too highbrown- they are not as bright as the students they are rejecting or accepting lol.
Thank you.
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