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The murder of a 20-year-old Muslim girl by her father in an Arizona parking lot is a reminder that, even in America, some women pay the ultimate price for Western freedoms. Asra Q. Nomani on the hateful strain of Islam that's thriving.
When I heard the tragic news this week that a beautiful young Muslim woman, Noor Almaleki, 20, had died after allegedly being run over by her Iraqi-American father, Faleh Hassan Almaleki, for being too “Westernized,” I returned to a moment five years ago when I sat on the carpeted floor of my hometown mosque in Morgantown, West Virginia, just a block from the McDonald’s.
As I listened in horror, an Egyptian-American professor of engineering railed against the “dark path” of the West.
“The suspect was very mad at his daughter as she had become too Westernized and was failing to comply with their traditional Iraqi values.”
“O servants of Allah!” he declared. “Imitating polytheists and atheists in their clothing, customs, rules, politics, and economics has become widespread among many Muslims to a very large extent, so much so that the one who blindly imitates and tries to Westernize might even be respected by the foolish masses and the youth, including the rich, intellectuals and even the poor, who are attracted to such a person. Woe to imitation and subordination! What weighty and oppressive constraints they have! What a dark path theirs is! What a great loss for whoever follows them!”
Lest we miss any subtleties, he blasted the “disgraceful women” of the West.
Noor’s father allegedly ran her over along with another woman, Amal Edan Khalaf, as the two were walking across a parking lot at the Arizona Department of Economic Security, next to a local joint, Carolina’s Mexican Restaurant. Family and friends told police Noor had left an arranged marriage in Iraq to move in with a boyfriend; Amal was her boyfriend’s mother.
Veteran Peoria, Ariz., police spokesman Mike Tellef told me, “The suspect was very mad at his daughter as she had become too Westernized and was failing to comply with their traditional Iraqi values.” Noor’s brother told a local Phoenix TV reporter that his sister had also upset his father’s conservative Muslim values.
It's a message I heard regularly at my Morgantown mosque. From the pulpit another Friday, I heard the same professor’s Ph.D. student, a young man from Egypt, declare: “A Muslim woman should keep aloof from those callers who ask her to forgo her morals, asserting that practicing free sex is a biological process that has nothing to do with morals. To us Muslims, a woman’s honor lies in her chastity and modesty. Once she loses her honor, she is worthless.”
Each time, I sat stunned. This message completely contradicted the Islam my parents had taught me that honored and respected the best of the West while accepting that all societies aren’t perfect.
But it was no wonder some time later, when the local newspaper ran a photo of the engineering professor’s son in handcuffs, arrested for driving the wrong way down a one-way street, trying to ram his teenage sister’s car. Her sin: dating a high school classmate, a Morgantown High School football player, who happened to be a white Christian boy.
To me, that alleged crime was an “honor assault,” bred and fed by an ideology that demonizes the West, ironically by people who are often the beneficiaries of the West. And there is no doubt in my mind: Noor Almaleki’s alleged murder was an “honor killing,” or in the lexicon of activists who are trying to challenge the ethos of these crimes: a “so-called honor killing.”
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Paul Schrodt is a writer living in New York City. He has contributed to New York magazine, Radar, and Esquire.com.
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The Daily Beast is dedicated to news and commentary, culture, and entertainment. We carefully curate the web’s most essential stories and bring you original must-reads from our talented contributors.
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Asra Q. Nomani is the author of Standing Alone: An American Woman’s Struggle for the Soul of Islam. She is co-director of the Pearl Project, an investigation into the murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. Her activism for women’s rights at her mosque in West Virginia is the subject of a PBS documentary, The Mosque in Morgantown. She can be found on Facebook, and reached at asra@asranomani.com
Why Honor Killings Happen
Asra Q. Nomani is the author of Standing Alone: An American Woman’s Struggle for the Soul of Islam. She is co-director of the Pearl Project, an investigation into the murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. Her activism for women’s rights at her mosque in West Virginia is the subject of a PBS documentary, The Mosque in Morgantown. She can be found on Facebook, and reached at asra@asranomani.com
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Asra Q. Nomani is the author of Standing Alone: An American Woman’s Struggle for the Soul of Islam. She is co-director of the Pearl Project, an investigation into the murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. Her activism for women’s rights at her mosque in West Virginia is the subject of a PBS documentary, The Mosque in Morgantown. She can be found on Facebook, and reached at asra@asranomani.com
Mariafrania
What really irks me about Islam is that it puts women on a lower position than men. It's OK if a guy has premarital sex, but not a woman. You never hear about a woman refusing to marry a guy because he's not a virgin, do you? And what about those veils- a woman has to cover her hair in order to not tempt men into sin, ie. she has to be inconvenienced so that it's easier for men not to sin.
Islam, in the form that it is practiced by many people, is one of the most repulsive religions around, next to scientology.
mcasio
In fairness, Christianity also puts women in a lower position than men, and while it may not go to the same extremes (at least in some societies) there are countless examples of women being oppressed and abused and, yes, murdered, in the name of Christianity. I think that any religion that tries to exert control over one gender for the benefit of the other is disingenuous at best.
thebaker
Sure, mcasio, every week I pick up the paper and see that another crazy Christian has murdered his daughter for being immodest. (sarcasam intended) I would like to see some names of all these Christians murdering their child/wife. It doesn't help solve the problem to say that this is widespread among all religions when it isn't.
mcasio
I didn't say honor killings were widespread among all religions. I said that Christianity also puts women in a lower position than men and that this may include oppression, abuse, and killing. I specifically stated that the extremes may be different, however, my point was that if you are turned off by a religion that holds down women, then Islam and Christianity offer plenty to turn your stomach. I don't think it is fair to single out Islam for its treatment of women. There are plenty of other religious groups who are and have been awful to women.
Mariafrania
Maybe traditional Christianity from ages ago, or some small minority Christian sects still around today allow men to belittle or subdue women, but it's hardly the same ball park. In mainstream Christianity as we have it today, women enjoy all the freedoms that men have (college, driving a car, wearing shorts, smoking cigarettes, showing their hair, getting a job, traveling, etc.), while in very many large Muslim societies (see Saudi Arabia, for example) women are slaves of their husbands or fathers. In the more moderate cultures they enjoy more freedoms in the big cities, but are still treated as objects in small villages (eg. Turkey). In one of the more liberal Muslim countries, Kuwait, women finally got the right to apply for a passport without their guardian's permission, just now!
So, Christianity, even with all its flaws, is hardly comparable to Islam in this respect.
selahh
Christianity says that to God there is no male or female. It tells wives to submit to their husbands, but in the same breath it tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I'm pretty sure that if a man loved a woman as Christ loved the church then that woman would have no problem submitting to him, since he would never do anything to harm her.
As far as belittling women, there is no comparison between Christianity and Islam. Sorry.
mcasio
I concede. Well put.
Georealist
Please..that is facile nonsense. Christianity..for all its faults..wedded itself to the Western Enlightenment centuries ago..and has evolved. Name a SINGLE largely Christian nation where women are on a "lower" level politically or otherwise..by LAW...from men??
The real problem that MANY Muslims don't face is that their religion is an inflexible remnant of an age of tribal power. The baggage this rigid channelling religion lays on its people is evident in the lame an outdated defensive justifications for horrific acts.......
..."there are countless examples of women being oppressed and abused and, yes, murdered, in the name of Christianity." Really..when was the last time a young woman was murdered in the US by a practicing Christian because she was out of line socially??? Well..we are all waiting.
This was a disgusting act by a disgusting man who wouldn't know "honor" if it bit him in his pathetic hind end..justified by a religion that believes man's greatest reward is eventually end up in a room full of young virgins with an eternity to dominate them. Pathetic.
shootmyownfood
For all of those who don't think this happens in Christianity, Congo, anyone? Darfur? Kenya?
And don't forget those famous Salem Witch Trials (yeah, it was a couple of centuries ago, but absolutely a Christian event. What? You're female? You live by yourself? Without a man? You must absolutely be a witch!
itstrue
I have to believe this kind of thing is cultural and not religious. I think the religion provides the excuse because Islam seems to be very concerned with other people's behavior, and instead of leaving the matter between the individual and God, these clerics are teaching that it is incumbent upon others to enforce God's will. I don't agree with this, and I'd like to see it brought up by some Islamic scholars, what about "personal responsibility and leave everybody else alone - even if you don't like what they do, what they think, how they live - it's not your business" something like that would go a long way. That's the real road to a truly peaceful Islam - that and separating it from the political process.
Of course, this problem is worse in communities where the men feel emasculated. They feel that their authority is being threatened, especially when (as immigrants) they feel like the bottom rung of society's ladder so they have to exert their dominance all the more fiercely over their wives and daughters - the people they think they have a right to control.
At the heart of all this is a psychological question - why do these men feel that they have to dominate and belittle someone else in order to be men? rather than focusing on religion in these cases, group and individual psychology must be the answer. If someone can find a way to give young Muslim men purpose, meaning, and self respect in their lives, maybe they won't feel the need to dominate others. It's true that bullies are cowards and that's what they are - but what are they afraid of and why? Answering that question will go a long way toward ending this particular kind of violence against women.
Mariafrania
Of course this thing is religious! They don't just kill their daughters and sisters for fun, they do it in the name of Islam. Granted, there is a different way of practicing Islam in different parts of the world, but that doesn't change the fact that the religion which these people practice is the underlying reason why they do what they do.
pera2006
hey maria, i am a muslim guy in my thirties. i have two sisters. believe me they are not perfect (neither am i..) but my father never tried to kill them, can you believe it????!!!
you have to differentiate culture from religion. most people think they do stuff for their religion but it's all ignorance and tradition, it has no basis on their religion.
Mariafrania
Pera, I'm sure there are lots of Muslims who haven't assaulted their female relatives. I don't think it's a type of behavior practiced by most Muslims. However, honor killings do have an extremely high correlation with Islam. And honor killings aren't the main reason why I don't respect Islam (since it is a fairly rare phenomenon).
I respect Islam as much as Muslim countries respect women.
dinaragab
@Maria Frania
After your bigoted remarks you actually said something worth commenting on - "Islam, in the form that it is practiced by many people."
It is not the religion which breeds this discrimination but rather those (minority) who have used it as a vehicle, carte blanche, to dictate their insecure disposition onto women. Each of the examples you used, if you actually read the Quran, would be seen in a completely different light. The issues you brought up are societal rather than religious.
I would hope you don't have the same audacity to call Catholicism, Judaism or any other major religion repulsive before actually taking the time to learn about the actual spiritual and intellectual aspects of each. But then again, its always ok to ignorantly write about Islam, remaining unscathed, however any remarks criticizing the other religions would be deemed politically incorrect.
Perhaps you can move past the preconceived notions you have and actually start reading the articles you're commenting on. Asra is attempting to bring a new Muslim perspective which is practiced internationally but is very rarely reported on.
LEARN SOMETHING.
What happened to this young woman is awful and her father's actions are by no means condoned by any true believer in God.
hfb1053
Well, with your gentle persuasion I'm sure the rest of us with our audacity have really learned alot about Islam from you. Your remarks are even more bigoted than the original poster. If you were truly a believer of Islam you wouldn't have written with such harshness; that only proves that of the two you are the more ignorant poster. Congratulations!
Mariafrania
First of all, I wasn't talking about the Quran, but about Muslims, the way they are today. Yes, you're right that these are societal problems- they are problems found in Muslim societies.
But if you want to talk about the Quran... the Quran tells women to cover their hair (= their beauty) to make it easier for men not to sin, the Quran says a woman gets to make all the decicions that involve things around the house (eg. the color of the curtains) while the man makes the decions regarding things outside the house (eg. moving to another city), the Quran tells women to cover themselves, while men are only asked to cover their crotch.
Am I politically correct? No, probably not, but I live in Europe and am free to express my opinion without the contraints of having to adhere to what one would consider appropriate for the ears of a 10 year old.
phamo66
I totally agree this is religious.I have an experience to live together with muslim community, there are a lot of good, kind and peaceful people until it does not touch Islam, for those who is real practices Islam is very usual behavior when they hate west life more then they love their own children
aperturemad
There are idiots in every culture and every religion.
The fundamentalist psychosis is a far greater threat to the far far greater majority of reasonable humans on this planet than any other.
grbesq
Just more of them in Islam. Islam itself is a Groupthink cult, which resorts to violence matter of factly to impose itself.
NotForTheFaintOfHeart
Quite frankly, it doesn't matter whether it's cultural or religious, except for the fact that I can see it going to happen that someone is going to sue that an "honor killing" cannot be criminally tried. They'll say they are just practicing their religion and that our Constitution gives them the right to practice their religion. Then they will probably use the non-prosecution of polygamists as a point in their defense.
I'm really, really tired of people immigrating to our great country, reaping the benefits and then using the negatives to condone their own behavior. If it's so darned bad, then why don't they just go home, or at least, back from where they came?
Nits22
NFTFOH,
as an immigrant myself (from a Catholic country) I can guarantee that immigrants are well advised that they should abide by the laws of this country.
Of course laws have hyrarchies and I am sure that killing someone is punishable beyond the freedom of speech and religion. Otherwise, there wouldn't be anything stopping anyone from murdering people in the name of a God. I'm no lawyer, though, just using my common sense.
I do agree with you that immigrants should not complain about their new country, and that is mentioned in the article. if you are not willing to adapt to the new culture, do not immigrate.
However, this great country and its government have given me the opportunity and the privilige to live here and if the government decided I would be a good addition to this society, I don't understand why regular folks keep saying that they are tired of people from other countries moving to the US.
cherokeesister
Actually regular folks are saying they are tired of "ILLEGALS"...if you come to this country LEGALLY and actually contribute to the good of all, most
"regular folks" have no problem with it. I've personally met some really interesting people who immigrated LEGALLY and I am fine with that. I am NOT fine with ILLEGALs. They take from all LEGAL residents and citizens when they are ILLEGAL.
candyman101
Religion of peace, huh?
tumbleweed
This is religion at it's absolute worst! I realize there are those apologist's who do not want to believe that any religion is capable of such unmitigated cruelty but it to many times is. That religion is not involved in such deplorable practices as well as ethic cleansing which is in reality religious cleansing. The Honor Killing is pervasive in middle eastern cultures. It is unfortunately enough based on a erroneous religious belief that all women should be pure. And a belief that females are little more than a possession. When religion gets involved there is always that very clear double standard for behavior between men and women. For one not to be pure is a dishonor to ones family and deserves death. I don't pretend to understand the sick mindset behind this practice. Because as far as I am concerned it has to be one of the most deplorable practices to come out of Islam. But, the question I would like to ask of the girl's father? If your didn't want your daughter to become westernized they why the f... did you bring her to this country???????? I do not understand this. It is obvious he did not want to become an American in any way shape or form. Which means he should have stayed in the country he was from or went to one that was very similar to his home country. So therefore he bares the sole responsibility for why she became westernized. Fry the b.....!
mutterhals
This literally makes me sick. There are no words to describe the contempt I have for this man and others like him.
djanimaequeen
Me too. This definately makes me want to get involved and help. What irks me is that this bottom feeder moved his family out west but killed his dauther because she because to Westernized? WTF?!! I hope this sh*itbag gets the death penalty.
Siouxie921
Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've heard a story like this. In a similar case, a Mideastern father took both his daughters out in the car and murdered them both. This might have been covered on America's Most Wanted. The two daughters had become "Americanized" and were resisting his efforts to stay under his thumb, etc.
grbesq
Groupthink Rule # !: Muslims can do no wrong.
Groupthink Rule # 2: individual human beings do not matter in Islam; only Islam as a movement or entity counts; and
Groupthink Rule # 3: Muslims do not consider things in terms of right or wrong, moral or immoral; the only consideration is "Muslim or non-Muslim"?
Thus, acting in the name of Islam, the father, in his mind, could do no wrong. Having deviated from his notion of Islamic behavoir, the daughter's life was meaningless; Islam as an entity had to be kept pure. Since her actions were deemed un-Islamic, killing his own daughter was the right thing to do.
We must understand the dangers of Groupthink, which needs must rely on violence to be imposed.
GinaRN
When I see a veil, hijab or burqua, I see a klan robe or a swastika. I see a totalitarian mindset that brutalizes women,
and a cult that would make all women obey men in the name of "god". They would strip modern women of every hard-fought right we've achieved, and place us under male control.
I see the rise of fundamentalist religions as a reaction to women's rights. An attempt to rule women with fear and violence. It happens in most countries, and the fundamentalist christians and jews are no kinder to women than islam.
External
Do you have the same reaction when you see a Catholic nun wearing a veil and a long black robe? Just have to go to predominantly catholic cities to see them. I went to school where both the nun and the brothers who were teaching wore robes!!!!!!!!
rowland
But they weren't forced to wear them or face death at the hands of other Christians, were they?
PC = Poisoned Cognition
loloo33
I don't think anybody knows islam well enough to criticizing them unless you are one of them.
djanimaequeen
I think that a jerk off who runs over his dauther for becoming to westerinzed is deserving of critism and more. While your at it why don't you defend child molesters and rapists. You're on a roll.
loloo33
but how well do you know the news? this is the problem of America, thier people is so dumb. Why do you believe anything on tv? Maybe it's a complicated story, maybe that guy is simply a jerk, maybe his daugther is a slut so he was angry.....there are maybe, possibilities. Of course your news want you to believe that Islam is bad and you believe, when these people will wake up and realize that they are just a useful idiot?
shootmyownfood
loloo33 - being a slut does not make it acceptable to kill you - if your family doesn't like your behavior, they can always disown and disinherit you.
cherokeesister
@loloo33
sounds like you don't like American's. If I am so dumb, how come your spelling is off and your syntax too? I mean if you're going to post on an ENGLISH forum, get it right ok??
"maybe his daughter is a slut" ?? Again this is a power and control issue. She is living with her boyfriend and his mother. Doesn't sound like a slut to me. Of course "your news" would tell you that all American women are sluts and that we do all kinds of things that will get you sent to hell...what a crock of sh*t. You can't handle a woman who knows what she wants, what she will put up with and when it's time to show you the door if you decide you want to hit on and dominate her.
Honor killing my *ss, its MURDER.
mothnflame
Actually, I am one of them. I don't think honor killings have so much to do with Islam as they do with tribalism. It's the same thing with female circumcision. These are long standing tribal practices that were around thousands of years before Islam came along. The religion has just been tweaked to provide a defense for continuing the behavior.
But regardless of what we blame the behavior on, the reality is it is reprehensible and the muslim community needs to stand up and register its disgust.
External
Ding Ding Ding . These are cultural behaviours in patriarchal societies or those who follow wahhabism - the religious sect of KSA , the good friends of the USA.
loloo33
You are extremely paranoid, Bush is gone so good luck on that.
External
@loloo33
Give me a break - see who is working with KSA to bring down Iran . Check the real politics not Faux news. Since oil was found in KSA , the US has maintained friendship with the kingdom -otherwise you won't be able to drive your cars.
cherokeesister
we live in a free society and are able to comment on anything we want..that's what a free society is. IF you can't hang with that....too bad.
loloo33
American womens like to think they have freedom in their life and feeling better about themself, maybe that girl didn't look up to you because you have freedom or independent, maybe she just thinks....gosh...what a slut. And as you;ve admitted that you are one, so good luck to you and about my spell check--arte you still in 5th grade? why do I care about your reading skill? It's not like your eng. is perfect, why don't you go around telling black people to speak influently if you care so much.
Jessica150
Great article and really addresses the substance of the issue. Too many want to shy away and fail to address the fact that these killings ARE motivated by religion, but in our attempt not to offend other people by saying negative things about their religion, we are doing a disservice to humanity as a whole.
Let's call it for what it is--another negative consequence of another irrational belief.
RussianHatGuy
Most religions are dominated by old men who want to control a woman's sexual behavior and reproductive decisions. Christians have a long history of killing women they were afraid of (Spanish Inquisition anyone?) and so do Muslims.
No god of mine would celebrate the death of a daughter at the expense of a father's "honor". he is no man at all. a coward and a sissy is more like it. when old men are finally forced to accept their biological and social station, change will occur. only then.
Thank you.
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