For ‘London Whale’ trading losses.
No big whoop for a company with about $100 billion in annual revenue. JPMorgan Chase will be forking over $920 million in fines to settle potential liabilities over $6.2 billion in derivatives trading losses by the “London Whale” last year. Regulators cited the bank with improper risk oversight and keeping board members and financial regulators in the dark about the trades. “We have accepted responsibility and acknowledged our mistakes from the start, and we have learned from them and worked to fix them,” chief executive Jamie Dimon said in a statement. The payout doesn’t mean the biggest U.S. bank is totally out of the woods; it’s also under fire for alleged bribery in China and possibly fraudulent sales of mortgage-backed securities.
Will get $400 million jackpot.
A luck South Carolinian will get the Powerball lottery’s current $400 million jackpot, the lottery association said, after it confirmed that the winning numbers selected Wednesday night had been sold in the Southern state. The numbers were 7, 10, 22, 32, 35, and Powerball 19. A $448 million jackpot went three ways in August, and a Florida widow won the largest in history—$590 million—in May.
Winston Ross should be in Apple-nerd heaven with iOS 7, released Wednesday. But it ... won’t ... download. Defeated, he tries out the new iTunes Radio against old favorite Pandora.
Was it something I said, Apple?Over the years, I’ve bought your iPod, Mini, Shuffle, iPod Classic, new Shuffle, iPad 2, iPad Mini 3G (I sold the iPad 2), MacBook, MacBook Air, MacBook Pro, iPod Touch, another iPod Touch to replace the one I broke, iPhone 4 (I was poor and could only afford a dumb phone before that), iPhone 4s, and iPhone 5.Shouldn’t that qualify me for an iOS 7 upgrade the day it comes out? Shouldn’t I get to skip to the head of the line? I’m a fanboy, you guys.
At a Q&A session in Washington, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said the Obama administration’s spying programs “crush” innovation in other countries.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, in Washington to lobby Congress on immigration reform, took a none-too-veiled shot at President Obama for government spying Wednesday during a public appearance at the Newseum.“The response to the NSA [National Security Agency] issues that have blown up are a big deal for the global platform. Some of the government’s statements have been profoundly unhelpful,” the 29-year-old multibillionaire told Atlantic magazine editor James Bennet during a Q&A that was live-streamed over the Web.
In first 24 hours.
That’s quite a heist. On its first day on the market, Grand Theft Auto V made a record $800 million in sales worldwide (not counting Japan and Brazil, where the game has yet to launch), according to game-maker Take-Two Interactive. GTA’s opening sales blow away the previous record holder, Call of Duty: Black Ops II, which brought in $500 million in its first 24 hours. Some 8,300 stores opened at midnight to accommodate gamers, who lined up to get their itchy trigger fingers on the most highly anticipated (and graphically violent) videogame of the year, which is expected to cross the $1 billion mark soon.
Chairman Ben Bernanke announced Wednesday that the Fed will continue buying bonds and mortgage-backed securities, effectively warning Republicans that their insistence on austerity is keeping him from backing off.
On Wednesday afternoon, Ben Bernanke channeled Miley Cyrus. When it comes to having the central bank conjure up cash out of thin air to buy bonds and mortgage-backed securities in an effort to boost the economy, he effectively said: “And we can’t stop. And we won’t stop.”In response, stock traders began twerking en masse. Quantitative easing, the program of buying bonds and mortgage-backed securities, has been a boon to stocks. Why? It’s keeping interest rates down and pushing people into higher-yielding instruments like stocks.
To see if it’s good enough.
Now we know why everyone thinks America is so wasteful. The U.S. Air Force blew up an empty dummy “pirate” motorboat in the Gulf of Mexico with a 2,000-pound smart bomb that costs $23,700 to make. The laser-guided GBU-10 bomb is being tested to see if it’s capable of being deployed against small targets at sea, possibly with the goal of aiming at the speedboats used by Iran in the Persian Gulf.
She's about to turn 40.
Bunny ears and all. Playboy’s editorial director, Jimmy Jellinek, confirmed that Kate Moss will pose on the cover of the 60th-anniversary issue. The photos will hit stands this December and will feature the supermodel fully nude. “She’s a worldwide celebrity, is iconic, and crosses the boundaries from sexual imagery to upscale modeling,” Hugh Hefner said. “It’s a natural for us.” What Moss will be wearing: velveteen bunny ears, French cuffs, and silk stockings. “It started with Marilyn Monroe on the cover of Playboy 60 years ago, an icon for her time,” Jellinek said. “Now we’ve got Kate Moss!”
Owes $53 million.
Hopefully H. Ty Warner kept the tags on all his Beanie Babies, because he's going to needs $53 million fast. The creator of the tiny-animal empire that ruled the ’90s has been accused of federal tax evasion. Apparently, as billionaires are wont to do, he had a secret offshore bank account and did not report the money he made from it to the IRS. Though a lawyer for the 69-year-old has issued a statement saying that Warner plans to plead guilty and pay the $53 million fine, there is still a chance that he could go to jail. A federal-tax-evasion conviction could mean up to five years in prison.
Will keep buying bonds.
The Federal Reserve will continue buying $85 billion a month in bonds in an effort to spur economic growth, officials announced on Wednesday. It was a surprise move, as many analysts thought the Fed would be ending its stimulus campaign. But with another showdown over government spending looming, the Fed felt that fiscal policy was hampering the economy and that tapering off its bond purchases would threaten the recovery. The Fed also decided to keep short-term interest rates near zero. The news rallied investors on Wall Street as both the S&P 500 and Dow Jones industrials hit new all-time-high records. The S&P reached 1,709.67 after the announcement.
With an Ohio Walmart hosting a holiday food drive for its own workers, The Daily Beast's Michael Tomasky criticizes the notoriously stingy company for not paying them more.
Sunday's finale was the perfect conclusion to a series that has come close to perfection. To stick around any longer would have broken the spell.