Cheat Sheet

Roll Call is reporting that Vice President-elect Joe Biden has chosen Ron Klain as his chief of staff. A Washington lawyer known as an “influential insider,” Klain was Biden’s counsel on the Senate Judiciary Committee and served as Vice President Gore’s chief of staff. The pick, like Obama’s of Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff, is leaving some scratching their heads and wondering what all that “change” talk during the campaign was about. Not to fear: “It’s more evidence that Obama’s modus operandi is pragmatism,” The Atlantic’s Marc Ambinder writes. “The secret is that Obama intends use very pragmatic, temperamentally conservative means to achieve radical—not in the Bill Ayers sense but in the huge, big, transformative sense—changes in how Washington works and how it relates to Americans.”

The convening of Republican governors in Florida this week has provoked a fury of speculation over who the GOP’s 2012 Presidential nominee will be, but a better indicator may lie in Iowa. The Des Moines Register reports that both former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal have scheduled appearances for next week in Iowa, which will, as is tradition, hold the first Republican caucuses in 2012. Huckabee won the Iowa caucuses this election. Usually, contenders wait until two years before the race before they start showing up in the Hawkeye State.

When MSNBC reported Monday that the anonymous McCain aide who said Palin didn’t know Africa was a continent had outed himself, a number of bloggers rushed to post the news. Juicy stuff, except Martin Eisenstadt didn’t work for McCain—he isn’t even a real person, The New York Times reports. The man, his blog, and his think tank, the Harding Institute for Freedom and Democracy, are all fakes dreamed up by Eitan Gorlin and Dan Mirvish, two obscure filmmakers. The pair said they created the hoax to help them sell a TV show based on Eisenstadt, who “was no more of a joke,” they argued, “than half the bloggers or political commentators on the Internet or television.”

Ever wondered what Rome’s Coliseum, Forum, and Pantheon looked like in their prime? The already addictive Google Earth today offers a peek with Ancient Rome 3D: the city as it looked in 320 A.D., complete with 6,700 buildings and 250 place marks linking to key sites. “This is another step in creating a virtual time machine,” Bernard Frischer of the University of Virginia, which worked with Google on the Roman reconstruction, told the BBC. Rome is the first historical city to be added to Google Earth, and the 3D models are based on Plastico di Roma Antica, a plaster-of-paris model of the city built between 1933 and 1974.

The stock markets are gyrating; the financial crisis continues unabated. While some of us are shrieking, “All hope is lost!” others are watching the chaos and saying, “Great time to buy stocks!” That’s where University of Chicago finance professor John Cochrane comes in, sorting 30 years of research by behaviorists, efficient marketers, and economists in a Wall Street Journal Op-Ed to offer some advice to investors. His conclusion—though he warns that “history is no guarantee”: “If you’re less leveraged, less affected by recessions, and have a longer horizon than the average, it makes sense to buy. If you’re more leveraged, more affected by recession or have a shorter horizon, it might be the time to sell, even though you might be cashing out at the bottom. If you’re about the same as everyone else, do nothing and relax. If you’re wrong, at least you will have excellent company.”

A word of advice from The New York Times to contestants on Top Chef, whose fifth season premieres tonight: Small mistakes can easily overshadow the grandest of culinary ambitions. In past seasons, Top Chef contestants have burned pork belly, made noodles go limp, and—horror!—undercooked beets. The Times calls the Tom Colicchio-judged show "rife with inventive chokers, cooks who lack the stamina or emotional wherewithal to keep the flame under the magic burning." This season is spiced up by “xenophobic conflict” between American and snobbish Europeans. Catch it at 10 p.m. on Bravo.

Those few lucky people with money to spend on fancy TVs this holiday season may have nowhere to buy them. Two days after its main rival, Circuit City, declared bankruptcy, Best Buy has called the upcoming retail season “the most difficult climate we’ve ever seen.” Blaming “rapid, seismic changes in consumer behavior,” the electronics giant cut its earnings and revenues projections. It was hoping to expand into the vacuum left by Circuit City’s implosion, but admits now that it must cut both spending and inventory levels.

President Bush has admitted a mistake! Not the weapons of mass destruction, mind you, or the war in Iraq, Katrina, Harriet Miers, Guantanamo Bay, the firing of US attorneys…No, Bush has come clean about the “Mission Accomplished” banner that was displayed on the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 1, 2003. “It was a sign aimed at the sailors on the ship,” he told CNN, “but it conveyed a broader knowledge. To some it said, well, Bush thinks the war in Iraq is over, when I didn't think that. But nonetheless, it conveyed the wrong message.” He also regretted his “bring ’em on” and “dead or alive” taunts after the September 11 attacks.

From the occasionally accurate National Enquirer, here’s another “world exclusive” to be taken with an enormous grain of salt: Cindy McCain, the magazine reports, has been caught cheating. Or at least a woman with a Cindyesque mane of white-blond hair has been caught kissing a man who is definitely not John in a grainy photo. McCain and the mystery man (described by a witness as resembling a “washed-up ’80s rock musician”) have been seen at concerts and sporting events together. A witness who saw the pair at a Moody Blues concert says, “They kissed and cuddled. While other concertgoers stood up to cheer and sing, Cindy and the guy remained entwined in their seats.” Spare a thought for John McCain bravely turning up on the comedy shows while the National Enquirer puts the boot in.

Elizabeth Edwards long ago emerged from hiding (noticeably without her wedding ring), but John Edwards had stayed hidden until last night. Edwards gave a speech at Indiana University and answered pre-approved audience questions, though none about his affair with Rielle Hunter. The AP notes that Edwards “praised Hillary Rodham Clinton’s leadership and said his favorite superhero was Superman.” Let the analysis begin…

Want a good example of Wall Street’s excesses during its golden era? Before its implosion, Lehman Brothers collected more than 3,500 works of art. Enter the schaudenfreude: The bankrupt investment bank will now try to sell at least $8 million of its collection. This news comes on the same day that $20 million of Lehman CEO Dick Fuld’s postwar art collection, which includes De Koonings, Newmans, and Gorkys, is scheduled to hit the market at Christie’s.

Who was the real Eleanor Rigby, the lonely woman “wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door”? Paul McCartney, author of the 1966 hit, has always said people would never find out who was the original inspiration for the Beatles song and even hinted that the song could just as easily have been called Daisy Hawkins. But a document going up for auction later this month in London gives a hint to Rigby’s identity, The Independent reports. The page, from a log kept by the Corporation of Liverpool, shows wage pages in 1911 to one “E. Rigby,” a scullery maid. It’s expected to fetch up to $750,000 at auction.

Guantanamo Bay was barely discussed during the election (perhaps because the candidates agreed on it), but it looks as though President-elect Obama intends to make good on his promise to close it. The Washington Post reports that the Obama administration will launch a review of the classified files of the 250 detainees at Guantanamo Bay as the first step in an effort to close the controversial prison. The larger question of how the administration will prosecute suspected terrorists remains open, but during the campaign Obama seemed to favor trying them in federal courts.

In this trying time for the housing market, try to wrap your head around this: Ridley Scott is set to direct Monopoly (as in the board game), which he hopes to give a "futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic 'Blade Runner,'" reports The Hollywood Reporter. No word if he's cast favorite lead actor Russell Crowe as Uncle Pennybags, but the screenwriter of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride is on board. Game-maker Hasbro is collaborating with Universal Studios on several other projects, including Battleship and Ouija Board films.

Who’s the next customer in line for in line for bailout money? The Wall Street Journal, citing “people familiar with the situation,” says American Express has requested $3.5 billion from the federal government. AmEx has been hit by a consumer spending slowdown and an increase in delinquencies and defaults. The Journal reports, “An infusion would give AmEx greater flexibility in funding its operations but likely won’t help with the consumer-spending slump.” By one count, 52 companies are on track to collect bailout money.

Some surprising news from the world of independent film: Paris Hilton, whose credits include a sex tape and some B-list horror films, will have a role in the upcoming film of eclectic art director Todd Solondz. Solondz's last film, Palindromes, had eight actors of different races, ages, and genders playing a 13-year-old girl who, after her parents force her to have an abortion, tries to get pregnant and eventually falls in love with a pro-life zealot who plans to murder her doctor. No word on the plot of Solondz's next film, but if it pushes Paris into similarly challenging territory, we'll be more than pleased.

Liberals consider Fox News a scourge, but what if it's doing them a favor? Harold Meyerson pens a letter to Fox News President Roger Ailes, thanking him for "reinforcing those beliefs that marginalize the Republican right." The network's focus on wedge and cultural issues increasingly appeals to the least-educated and -diverse wings of the party by painting "people who hold different viewpoints as alien and threatening," Meyerson writes. "In that sense, your work remains dangerous and disintegrative to the nation. But it is also, more narrowly, tactically, for now, a great gift to liberals and Democrats."

Harrowing report from The Times’ Jeffrey Gettleman: Islamist rebels in Somalia seized the port city of Merka today, after government troops fled their advance. Rebels now control “most of the country”; Merka is a mere 60 miles from Mogadishu, which many speculate is the their next target. Making matters worse, Merka is the site the United Nations had used to disperse food and other aid. One official from the Somali government said, “We need help—urgently.”

All eyes are currently on Barack Obama as the nation’s first black president, but what about Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who, Politico reports, is now "the most powerful woman in U.S. political history"? Pelosi is "preparing to wield her gavel in a way that few, if any, recent speakers could match." Her power is cemented by the facts that she has no leadership rivals, is the "chief fundraiser" for House Democrats—raking in $26 million alone this cycle—and is also House Democrats' "leading communicator," assuming the House floor more than any other speaker in recent history. Pelosi's style is relatively low-key and nonconfrontational, but that shouldn't lead you to mistake her as anything other than, in the words of bitter rival and former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, "the most powerful speaker in a generation—she will be able to do anything she wants."

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced today that the government will use its $700 billion bailout plan to aid non-bank financial institutions that provide consumer credit, like credit cards and auto loans. “The important markets for securitizing credit outside of the banking system also need support," Paulson said. "Approximately 40 percent of U.S. consumer credit is provided through securitization of credit card receivables, auto loans and student loans and similar products. This market, which is vital for lending and growth, has for all practical purposes ground to a halt." Paulson also abandoned government plans to buy up troubled mortgage assets, which was the original goal of the bailout.

It seemed for awhile that, buoyed by oil money, the Arab states might withstand the housing downturn. But The Wall Street Journal reports today that the average asking price for homes in Dubai fell 4 percent in October and prices on upscale villas fell by 19 percent. In Abu Dhabi, housing prices fell by 5 percent. The global financial crisis froze up credit markets and scared away the international speculators who were so important to Dubai’s 6-year housing boom. Unlike its neighbors, Dubai has diversified its economy away from oil in recent years with heavy international borrowing. Its government is heavily invested in the property market, so falling prices raise concerns about its ability to repay its debt.

There’s no disputing that Pakistan is in a state of upheaval, but in light of the fact that it once elected the Muslim world’s first female prime minister (okay, before assassinating her), this news still surprises: The Guardian reports that Pakistan’s new minister of education, Mir Hazar Khan Bijarani, presided over a "jirga," which gave away five girls aged 2 through 5 to the family of a murdered man as compensation. Bijarani is positively forward-looking on women’s rights when compared to the minister of the postal service, Israullah Zehri, who defended the "tribal tradition" of burying alive women who tried to choose their own husbands. "Is this the politics of appeasement?" said Tahira Abdullah of the Women's Action Forum. "It almost looks like rewarding these men for their deeds against women." Said another critic: "Had Benazir Bhutto been alive she would never have allowed this."