Cheat Sheet

In Bahrain today, Defense Secretary Robert Gates issued a stern warning to those planning on “testing” Barack Obama. “Anyone who thought that the upcoming months might present opportunities to ‘test’ the new president would be sorely mistaken,” he said. “President Obama and his national security team, myself included, will be ready to defend the interests of the United States and our friends and allies from the moment he takes office on Jan. 20.” Gates, who later made a surprise stop in Iraq, went on to say America’s commitment to the war on terror hadn’t changed: “I can assure you that a change in administration does not alter our fundamental interests, especially in the Middle East.”

The Chicago Sun-Times is reporting that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has given himself a deadline—no pressure or anything—of early next week, “perhaps as early as Monday,” to decide whether he will resign. “He was blindsided by this,” a source told the paper. “He needs some time to digest what’s going on. He’s going to make his position clear shortly.” The “blindsided” governor, who was indicted Tuesday for allegedly trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat, has been under investigation for years. On Friday, he retained the services of one Ed Genson, lawyer to R&B singer R. Kelly and imprisoned media baron Conrad Black. Genson “typically doesn’t represent clients who plan to plead guilty,” the Sun-Times reports.

Amid all the predictable views about the failure of the auto industry bailout in Congress—Michael Moore: “It’s class warfare”; Wall Street Journal editorial page: Bush should just say no—comes a piece of canny political understanding from David Brooks on The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer. “Why should the unions or why should anybody make the concessions if they're going to get the money for free the next day from the White House?” he asked. “The bottom line is the American people or the political process has decided we can't let the auto industry fail. So if that's your underlying rule, how do you force restructuring?…Do we just keep giving $14 billion here, $14 billion there? Who's going to force the restructure?” The solution? As veteran Wall Street Journal Detroit correspondent and Pulitzer winner Paul Ingrassia said on the same show, “A government-sponsored restructuring that would be parallel to a bankruptcy restructuring, but not called bankruptcy, would be the only thing that would get the changes made in the compressed amount of time.” Over to you, Mr. President.

A motive for the triple killing of singer Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother, and nephew has been established, and it only makes the case creepier. William Balfour, the estranged husband of Hudson’s sister Julia, allegedly murdered her mother, Darnell Donerson, her brother, Jason Hudson, and her son, Julian King, because he saw a gift in Julia’s home that he thought came from another man. Prosecutors detailed growing tensions between Balfour and Julia Hudson that included a workplace confrontation and threats made to Hudson’s family. On the morning of the murders, Balfour went to the Hudson’s home and saw the gift; they fought, and he allegedly later returned to the house and committed the murders. Balfour maintains he is not guilty, despite the gunpowder residue that turned up in his car.

Obama has tapped Shaun Donovan, the housing commissioner for New York City, to head up the Department of Housing and Urban Development. The 42-year-old Clinton White House veteran is highly qualified for the position, having worked in both the private and nonprofit sectors, in academe and in government. Since going to work for Mayor Michael Bloomberg in 2004, Donovan has helped expand affordable housing and create a fund to help nonprofit housing groups compete for private land sales. Donovan is valued for “fresh thinking” that’s “unencumbered by old ideology and outdated ideas,” Obama said in his weekly radio address today. “He understands that we need to move past the stale arguments that say low-income Americans shouldn’t even try to own a home or that our mortgage crisis is due solely to a few greedy lenders.”

It may be good news for Malia and Sasha, but it seems rather strange. Bush’s aides have said the Obamas cannot move into Blair House, the government guest house that is the traditional home of presidents-elect while waiting to move into the White House, because it is already booked. “We explored the idea so that the girls could start school on schedule,” an Obama transition official told The New York Times. “But there were previously scheduled events and guests that couldn’t be displaced.” That means the Obama girls may not be able to begin at Sidwell, their new school, along with all their other new pals when classes start on January 5. Who is so important that they leave the Obamas scrambling to find temporary accommodation has not been revealed. They'd better be really important.

Even Charlie Crist’s closest friends didn’t expect to see this day. After 52 years enjoying the single life, the Florida governor has tied the knot with New York socialite Carole Rome, 39. As The Miami Herald put it, “The air was thick with perfume and nerves…The air-conditioner inside the chapel worked at full blast because the governor didn't want to get too hot…The kiss was tender and brief—perhaps too brief.” Among the guests were Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller, Tampa Bay Rays owner Stuart Sternberg, former Senator Connie Mack, Geraldo Rivera, Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Derrick Brooks, and Democratic Rep. Robert Wexler. Crist’s best man was his father, Dr. Charles Crist, and the bridesmaids were Rome’s two daughters from a previous marriage. The newlyweds emerged from the chapel to be greeted by protesters who favor gay marriage.

That Colin Powell is feeling a little distant from his party is no surprise, but the former secretary of state has no plans to give up on Republicans quite yet. Instead, he has plans for the GOP. "I think the party has to stop shouting at the world and at the country," Powell said in a interview airing Sunday on CNN. "I think that the party has to take a hard look at itself." Powell went on to criticize Republicans for trying to play "polarization for political advantage," urging his party to become more appealing to African-American, Hispanic, and Asian voters. But the most important step to get the GOP back into the majority? Get rid of the Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh. "Can we continue to listen to Rush Limbaugh?" he asked. "Is this really the kind of party that we want to be when these kinds of spokespersons seem to appeal to our lesser instincts rather than our better instincts?"

The life of the only member of the Clinton White House loved equally by the right and the left is slowly drawing to a close. Socks, the former first cat, has cancer and isn't expected to live much longer. The 17-year old tabby has spent the last eight years living well with Betty Currie, Bill Clinton's former secretary, whose husband once said Socks "lives better than I do." And he deserved it. According to Linda Kulman, who ghost-wrote Hillary Clinton's book Dear Socks, Dear Buddy: Kids' Letters To First Pets: "He was nothing but a gentleman. He was elegant and a perfect resident of the White House."

You can't blame a guy for trying. In O.J. Simpson's case, perhaps, you can. It emerged yesterday that Simpson allegedly paid off a witness in his Las Vegas trial in order to get him to alter testimony. According to an investigator from the Clark County district attorney's office, Alfred Beardsley, a collectibles dealer already behind bars, said Simpson gave him his Hall of Fame ring in exchange for lying in the witness box. The allegation came at a civil court hearing where Fred Goldman, whose son was killed alongside O.J.’s estranged wife, Nicole Simpson, asked a judge to order Beardsley to turn over the ring as part of the $33.5 million wrongful-death judgment against Simpson. The judge ordered Beardsley back to court next week to hand over the ring, which he planned to sell for $120,000. Beardsley's lawyers say he doesn't have it.

In a victory for "irony," "teasing," and journalism in general, a British judge ruled yesterday that a satirical column about Elton John in The Guardian didn't amount to libel. Published in July, the column was a spoofed entry from the Rocket Man’s diary about his White Tie and Tiara ball, which raises money for the Elton John AIDS Foundation. The glittery singer took offense at an implication in the cod piece that he threw the event "as an occasion for meeting celebrities and/or self-promotion," according to his lawyers, and argued that the writer had acted maliciously. The judge disagreed. He said the article was clearly "an attempt at humor" and that any reader would have known that it wasn't actually written by the Candle in the Wind singer. Anyway, "the transparently false attribution is irony," the judge said, and "irony is not always a form of sarcasm or ridicule."

And interview with Clint Eastwood is not quite what it seems. Although not quite as monosyllabic as his screen characters, he is still a man of few words. In an interview with the Rowdy Yates and Dirty Harry actor-cum-Oscar-winning director to be published Sunday, The New York Times’ Bruce Headlam’s many thousands of words contain only a few dozen from the great man himself. But they are worth heeding, particularly if you are an aging actor. “It’s ridiculous when you won’t play your own age,” said the 78-year-old. “You know when you’re young and you see a play in high school, and the guys all have gray in their hair and they’re trying to be old men and they have no idea what that’s like? It’s just that stupid the other way around.” Harrison Ford, 66, Jack Nicholson, 71, et al., please note.

It seems there just might be one market not getting crushed by the economy—sci-fi memorabilia. This week, a light saber used by Mark Hamill in The Empire Strikes Back was sold for $240,000 at an auction held by Calabasas, Calif., collector’s hub Profiles in History. Other shiny but altogether useless objects sold include C-3PO’s helmet from Return of the Jedi, which sold for $120,000; Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine suit from X-Men, $90,000; Marlon Brando’s Jor-El costume from Superman, $72,000; and a mini flying saucer from Forbidden Planet, $78,000. In all, the one-day sale grossed $3.5 million for more than 500 items. Bill Gates was not available for comment.

Any notion that golf is a courteous sport can be counted out after remarks by Tiger Woods’ caddy, Steve Williams. The off-fairway tension between Tiger, the world’s champion golfer, and the number two, Phil Mickelson, has spilled over into the public prints. Asked what he thought of Mickelson, the Australian caddy didn’t hold back. “I wouldn't call Mickelson a great player 'cause I hate the prick,” he said. Williams is not only Woods’ club carrier, Woods was also the best man at his wedding, and the two men are the closest of pals. Williams then told a story about this year's US Open at Torrey Pines, where Woods and Mickelson were paired together. The two were walking down the 17th fairway when a spectator shouted, "Hey, Mr. Mickelson!" When Mickelson turned and waved, the fan yelled out, "Nice tits." It’s the sort of thing you might expect to hear at a wrestling match. But golf? How times have changed.