Madoff victims, rejoice: On Thursday, the alleged Ponzi schemer will plead guilty to fraud charges, his lawyer said at a court hearing today. “There is no plea agreement,” Assistant US Attorney Marc Litt said. As such, Bernie has to plead guilty to all 11 criminal charges he faces, including securities fraud, mail fraud, wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, and filing false statements with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Litt said. Madoff, who is free on $10 million bail after allegedly defrauding investors of $50 billion, has been expected to plead guilty since last week and is likely to spend the rest of his life in prison.

Horrible news from Alabama, where Michael McClendon went on a shooting spree in two towns in the south of the state yesterday, killing at least 10 before turning the gun on himself at a metals plant. The Alabama Department of Safety says police are investigating at least four separate shootings, all by McClendon. The rampage began late Tuesday afternoon in the town of Samson, where the gunman killed five people in one house and one each in two others. He also wounded a state trooper, shooting at his car seven times, and then killed a person at a supply store and another at a service station, before going to a metals plant where he wounded the town police chief and killed himself. Among the dead are McClendon's grandparents and aunt and uncle. 

The good news: The Senate has given its final approval to a $410 billion omnibus spending bill to fund most of the federal government through 2009. The bad news (for some people): The legislation’s still laden with pork. The final bill—which was approved on a voice vote after 62 senators voted to cut off debate, overcoming strong Republican opposition and a few Democratic defections—includes thousands of earmarks inserted by members of both parties. The president is expected to sign the bill, though he’s said he has misgivings about the earmarks and will make an announcement about reforming the practice on Wednesday morning.

What goes down must come up, right? Today, the Dow Jones jumped 378 points, or 5.8 percent, to close at 6926.49, its best day in three months. The surge, which also boosted the S&P 6.37 percent and the Nasdaq 7.07 percent, was spurred by Citigroup’s 25-percent gain after CEO Vikram Pandit reported the bank is having its best quarter since 2007. The bank jumped an astonishing 38 percent, while the other big banks—J.P. Morgan, Wells Fargo, and Bank of America—all surged at least 20 percent.

Obama’s lost another appointee—Charles “Chas” Freeman has asked that his name be withdrawn as chairman of the National Intelligence Council. Freeman’s exit comes just hours after Director of National Intelligence Dennis Blair gave a forceful defense of the former ambassador, whose comments on Israeli policies have been assailed by a host of critics. Yesterday, all seven Republican members of the Senate intelligence committee blasted Freeman’s appointment, citing his views on Israel and past relationships with Saudi and Chinese interests. Today, The Washington Post’s 44 blog reports, Blair told Senator Joe Lieberman that as director of national intelligence, he could do a better job “if I’m getting strong analytical viewpoints to sort out and pass on to you and to the president than if I am getting pre-cooked, pablum judgments that don’t really challenge.”

The latest from the "Better late than never" category: Ben Bernanke has said that the methods of managing the financial system need "an overhaul." Speaking to the Council on Foreign Relations, the Federal Reserve chairman said, "Strong and effective regulation and supervision of banking institutions, although necessary... are not sufficient by themselves to achieve this aim," indicating that a broader change in culture at the Fed is necessary. Bernanke also called for the creation of a new government body geared toward risk management that would detect potential disasters like the housing bubble before they burst. And in a statement sure to elate anchors at CNBC, he called for "especially close" supervision of large companies like Citigroup and AIG that are often called "too big to fail." Bernanke's optimistic remarks were greeted very favorably on Wall Street, where the Dow rose over 300 points at one point early this afternoon.

Chinese auctioneer Cai Mingchao sabotaged Christie's Yves Saint Laurent auction last month—and he may loose his career because of it. Mingchao won a pair of Qing bronzes that were plundered by the French for $40 million, but has now announced that he's refusing to pay for them out of political protest. While many Chinese are praising him, Mingchao is being scorned in the art world, where defaulting at auction is condemned, and may have to close his business as a result. If only he knew that one of his underbidders was planning to give one of the bronzes back to China. "This has damaged me," Mingchao told Bloomberg. "I have lost the business that I love."

A suicide bomber attacked Sunni and Shiite leaders who were touring a market west of Baghdad after a reconciliation meeting. 33 people died in the second major attack in Baghdad in two days. The Associated Press reports “The bomber detonated an explosives belt as the tribal leaders were walking through the market in the town of Abu Ghraib, accompanied by security officials and journalists, according to the Iraqi military.”

A missing piece in the fight between singers Rihanna and Chris Brown has been revealed. TMZ.com is reporting that the woman who sent a three-page text message to Brown was his manager, 39-year-old Tina Davis. The text message is believed to have sparked the argument on the eve of the Grammy Awards that caused Brown to allegedly beat up his girlfriend, threaten to kill her, and leave her on the side of the road in L.A. "Law enforcement tells us the text message to Brown talked about hooking up later--and it totally pissed off Rihanna. She slapped and hit him and he then brutally fired back," TMZ reports. "The detective's affidavit refers to the text message as being 'from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.'" Brown has been charged with two felony counts but the couple have reconciled.

Have an ocean view or live in a low-lying city? Consider yourself warned. UN researchers are now saying that global sea levels are rising beyond forecasts and over this century will threaten the livelihoods of the 600 million people who live in low-lying areas. Seas could rise by over 3 feet—and that projection doesn't include factors like the polar ice cap melting or ice splintering off. "It looks very benign today but the North Sea can turn into a very ferocious beast," one environmental official said.

Are our children learning? Speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce today in his first education speech, President Obama challenged states to boost the quality of reading and math instruction and challenged teachers unions by reiterating his support for charter schools and merit-based teacher pay. According to The New York Times, “The address on Tuesday was the first step in laying out the president’s agenda to improve American schools, officials said, with more specifics to be outlined in the coming weeks to Congress. Mr. Obama set a goal of the United States having the highest proportion of college graduates in the world by 2020.”

Life for Real Housewives of New York City star Kelly Bensimon just got a little too real: the 40-year-old was arrested last week for an alleged assault against her boyfriend. She reportedly punched her 30-year-old boyfriend, Nicholas Stefanov, 30, to the extent that his cheek split open. "According to court documents, Bensimon, a former model, and Stefanov got into a verbal argument, and she struck him with a fist, causing a laceration below his left eye," Us Weekly reports. Her lawyer describes the charges as "unfounded." Stay tuned.

An elephant in Thailand who stepped on a landmine as a baby has been given a sleek new prosthesis. The three year old beast, named Mosha, ambles around an elephant refuge comfortably, feasting on 200 pounds of food a day, according to the BBC. After losing her leg, there was doubt that Mosha would survive; she refused food and was shunned from the herd. But a creative doctor fashioned a leg for her, and she has improved ever since. Her new prosthesis is made of plastic, metal and sawdust. Despite Mosha's unorthodox appearance, her fellow elephants have welcomed her with open... trunks.

A troubling report from Afghanistan: According to The New York Times, “The commander of a secretive branch of America’s Special Operations forces last month ordered a halt to most commando missions in Afghanistan, reflecting a growing concern that civilian deaths caused by American firepower are jeopardizing broader goals there.” The hiatus lasted two weeks and came after rising Afghan anger over the deaths of women and children in nighttime raids. The Army’s Delta Force and the classified Navy Seals “carry out dozens of operations each week, so any decision to halt their missions is a sign of just how worried military officials are that the fallout from civilian casualties is putting in peril the overall American mission in Afghanistan, including an effort to drain the Taliban of popular support.”

We knew the Republicans were battling with Obama over the budget—but the Democrats? The New York Times reports the president, who has invited five senior members of his own party to fill in some budget details, is getting a lot of pushback. The lawmakers—Senators Baucus and Conrad, and Reps. Rangel, Waxman and Spratt—have erased his proposal to limit tax deductions for the wealthiest 1.2 percent of taxpayers; his cuts in government subsidies to big farmers and agribusiness; and his planned cap on emissions. Obama “is taking a gamble in outsourcing the drafting of his agenda’s details to these five veteran lawmakers and others in Congress, each with his own political and parochial calculations,” The Times reports. But the president is not going to roll over: The White House is indicating it will push back against the senators.

A police officer has been shot dead in a republican stronghold in Northern Ireland—the third such killing in 48 hours. The violence is testing the province’s fragile peace, and loyalist paramilitaries may retaliate. “We are tonight staring into the abyss,” said a member of the nationalist Social Democratic and Labor Party. “I would appeal to people to pull back.” On Monday night, the officer and a colleague were responding to a call about “suspicious activity” in County Armagh when their patrol cars were attacked they were fired on; the second officer was injured. Two days earlier, a pair of unarmed soldiers were shot dead as they picked up pizzas in County Antrim. “Loyalist paramilitaries have so far resisted reaction, despite numerous attacks against police officers over the past 18 months,” The Times of London reports. “But while the death of soldiers is regarded as an attack on the British state, the murder of a local police officer may be interpreted as an attack on the local unionist community.”

Apple already got in trouble once recently for covering up Steve Jobs’ poor health. Is it stretching the truth again? Both Gawker and CNET are reporting that Apple laid off about 50 salespeople last week, but Apple has so far denied the reports. Silicon Alley Insider rites that Apple’s PR team may be “Fifty layoffs in a company of 30,000 is not big news. But it doesn't help us trust that Apple is telling us—or the public, or its investors—the truth.”

Finally, some sanity from the Octomom: Nadya Suleman agreed yesterday to allow her 14 children to be visited by foster-care workers for at least 6 months. “Octo” will also transplant the family to a new abode: a 2,500 square-foot, 4-bedroom house not far from where her parents live in La Habra, California. Money for the new home is said to come both from her father and from donations she has raised in recent weeks.

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Dalai Lama’s exile from Tibet. What has he to say? In a speech from the Indian town in which he lives in exile, the Dalai Lama said Chinese martial law and hard-line policies have “thrust Tibetans into such depths of suffering and hardship that they literally experienced hell on earth. The immediate result of these campaigns was the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Tibetans." He also warned that Tibetan culture and identity are “nearing extinction.”

Better late than never: According to The Times of London “a portrait owned for nearly 300 years by a family will tomorrow be claimed as the only known picture of William Shakespeare painted during his lifetime.” The painting was made in 1610, ten years before Shakespeare’s death and has been owned by the Cobbe family since the early 18th century, but the family was unsure of the subject's identity until 2006, when Alec Cobbe visited an exhibition of several pictures some had suggested were Shakespeare.

News of the first post-Travis skirmish in the war between humans and chimpanzees: A 31-year-old chimpanzee at the Furuvik zoo in Sweden has been found to be stockpiling stones overnight to throw at his human gawkers in the daytime. It turns out, this is an important scientific discovery, as Santino “may be the first animal to exhibit an unambiguous ability to plan for the future, a behavior many scientists argue is unique to humans.” According to one scientist, “Many apes throw objects, but the novelty with Santino is that he makes caches of these missiles while he is fully calm and only throws them much later on.”

Here's a sign of how bad things are in the United States: Iraqis whose immigration has been approved by American officials are now choosing not to come to the United States. America’s bleak financial landscape, foreclosed homes, and lack of jobs have turned off many Iraqi immigrants. The quandary is especially true for Iraqis who work with the US military or aid organizations—and therefore are at risk of attack from militants—who have been offered immigration into the United States. Although unemployment is higher in Iraq than in the United States, many Iraqis own their homes outright and are eligible for monthly food rations. “It used to be that going to America was a dream,” Raheem, a Baghdad native, told the Los Angeles Times. “No more.”

Somewhere in a cave in Pakistan, there’s a party going down: Today is Osama Bin Laden’s birthday. The Al Qaeda leader is, remarkably, only 52. Bin Laden was last heard from in January, when he issued a tape calling for jihad over Israel’s offensive in Gaza.

Is the toxicity of toxic assets rising? According to McClatchy, the five biggest banks reported that their current net loss risk from derivatives has surged 49 percent in 90 days to total $587 billion. J.P. Morgan, which has so far weathered the financial storm well, faces the largest exposure, with $241 billion in derivative investments; Citibank is next with $140 billion. According to McClatchy, “Federal regulators portray the potential loss figures as worst-case. However, the risks of these off-balance sheet investments, once thought minimal, have risen sharply as the U.S. has fallen into the steepest economic downturn since World War II, and the big banks' share prices have plummeted to unimaginable lows.”

As New York’s attorney general probes deeper into Merrill Lynch’s bonuses, more information is coming to light about the bank’s costly wager in Brazil. Its ambitious expansion into Brazil last spring—poaching 10 dealmakers there and offering them millions in guaranteed bonuses—is an example, The Wall Street Journal reports, of investment bankers costing their firm far more than they earned. Through December, Merrill’s investment bankers in Latin America cost at least $100 million in expenses while earning about $50 million. The loss may be a blip on the firm’s $27.6 billion hole in 2008, but they show how “how aggressively Merrill was willing to pay for talent as it revved up its ambitions outside the U.S., at a time when the firm was suffering from crippling trading losses,” The Journal reports.

Is this how Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and crew celebrate Osama's birthday? According to The New York Times, “The five detainees at Guantánamo Bay charged with planning the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks have filed a document with the military commission at the United States naval base there expressing pride at their accomplishment and accepting full responsibility for the killing of nearly 3,000 people.” “To us,” reads the document, which may be made public later today, “they are not accusations. To us they are a badge of honor, which we carry with honor.”

Are things at Citigroup getting better or worse? The Financial Times and The Wall Street Journal carry conflicting reports on the question: According to the Times, CEO Vikram Pandit told employees that Citigroup has had its best quarter-to-date since 2007 in the first two months of 2009, generating more than $19 billion of profit. According to the Journal meanwhile, barely a week after Citigroup’s third rescue, “U.S. officials are examining what fresh steps they might need to take to stabilize the bank if its problems mount.” The talks are just preliminary and in-case-of-emergency, and include, as these talks always do, discussions of creating a “bad bank.”

The Obama administration is preparing to take a tougher stance with America’s trading partners. The United States will seek new benchmarks in its negotiations with Colombia and South Korea, and will uphold tougher environmental and labor standards when negotiating trade deals. This comes at a time when many Americans are blaming job losses on cheap foreign imports, and the government has instated a “Buy American” provision in the stimulus bill. At his hearing yesterday, Ron Kirk, President Obama's nominee as U.S. trade representative, said: "I believe in trade and will work to expand it, but I also know that not all Americans are winning from it and that our trading partners are not always playing by the rules."

Alleged ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff arrived in a federal court in NYC this morning to determine whether he'll stick with his current lawyer despite three potential conflicts of interest. "A hearing has been scheduled for Tuesday afternoon to review the conflicts with Mr. Madoff and ensure that he understands his options and risks before he decides whether to proceed with Mr. Sorkin as his lawyer," the New York Times reports. Among the conflicts? Attorney Ira Lee Sorkin and his family had made investments with Madoff in the past. Madoff is also scheduled to appear back in court on Thursday, when he is expected to plead guilty to charges against him.