Don’t worry: We figure Lou Dobbs will be back on the air somewhere by then. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said that the Obama administration will push for a path to citizenship to some 12 million illegal immigrants as early as next year. Napolitano said she feared another wave of illegal immigration once the economy improves and therefore promised a “tough and fair pathway to earned legal status,” the New York Times reports, including stricter enforcement laws against illegal immigrants and their employers and a streamlining of the legal immigration system. Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) will introduce the bill in December. Predicting a big battle ahead, Gutierrez disagreed with Napolitano’s claim that increased enforcement has improved the chances of a comprehensive overhaul. Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) believe they can get 60 votes for the bill.

One sign of the United States' shifting priorities in the Middle East: According to the Army, mental health is improving for soldiers in Iraq, but is worsening for soldiers in Afghanistan. It marks the first time since 2004 that suicides are not rising in Iraq. While reports of psychological problems remain about the same as they were two years ago, an apparent shortage of mental-health workers may have led to the decreased morale in Afghanistan. The Army in Afghanistan has less than one mental-health worker per 700 soldiers, a standard established in the Army doctrine.

Sarah Palin’s long-awaited memoir may have gone rogue from the facts, according to the Associated Press’ advance look at her book. The former vice-presidential candidate depicts herself as someone who is frugal with taxpayer money when traveling and who rejected donations from powerful corporations, the AP says, but her record indicates otherwise. The former Alaskan governor stayed at a luxurious New York City hotel with her daughter in 2007. She says her gubernatorial campaign took mostly small donations from first-time givers, but more than half her war chest came from people and PACs who gave at least $500. And she blurs the lines between the Obama stimulus plan and the federal bailout that President George W. Bush signed. She implies that Ronald Reagan repealed the “death tax” (he didn’t). She says she stood against conflicts of interest, but pushed for a special zoning exception so she could sell her family’s $327,000 house. The book “has all the characteristics of a pre-campaign manifesto.”

Three-term Sen. Robert Bennett of Utah is facing one of the toughest reelection campaigns next year, even though no political or personal scandal has sullied his reputation. Bennett is certainly no liberal—he’s a successful Salt Lake City businessman whose grandfather was president of the Mormon Church—but some fellow Republicans now find him not sufficiently conservative to reelect. In fact, it’s his long résumé that’s also hurting him at a time when the country is in an anti-incumbent mood: In a national Pew Research poll, only 52 percent of registered voters said they would like to see their representative reelected next year. Bennett laments, “There’s not a place on the ballot to mark, ‘I hate what’s going on Washington.’”

A 16-year-old grey tabby cat’s death caused a bit of international hysteria this week. On Tuesday night, as 1,700 Conservatives luminaries gathered for a black-tie affair in Toronto, Canadian Transport Minister John Baird sent a short text message to a friend and fellow attendee that read, “Thatcher has died.” Though Baird was referring to his dearly departed cat, the message rapidly spread the rumor that conservative icon and former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dead. Phone calls flooded baffled officials at both 10 Downing Street and Buckingham Palace. A top aide alerted Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to the loss and “started preparing an official statement mourning the passing of the Iron Lady,” the BBC said. But once the news reached Canada that the 84-year-old Baroness Thatcher was still breathing, conservatives and Thatcher the Cat could rest easy.

Former Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was sentenced to 13 years in prison on Friday for taking hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes in exchange for brokering business deals in Africa. Famously, investigators in the case found $90,000 in cash stored in Jefferson’s freezer. Prosecutors had sought a sentence of 30 years.

Looks like it may take Carrie Prejean two hands to count “the biggest mistake of my life.” Radar Online is reporting that there are eight Carrie Prejean sex tapes total, plus 30 nude photos to boot. “On one tape, Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her own body in an alluring manner,” Radar Online reports. “Carrie can be heard moaning on a few of the tapes.”

Nicolas Cage has lost a lot of his national treasure in the past two weeks, and two New Orleans homes are the latest casualties of his financial collapse. The 45-year-old actor’s two historic French Quarter houses were purchased in a foreclosure auction on Thursday for $4.5 million. The sum, two-thirds of the real estate’s appraised value, went to Cage’s lender, Regions Bank, the only bidder in the auction. On Friday, movers were reportedly seen clearing out the Leaving Las Vegas star’s belongings. Coincidentally, Cage’s next film Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans comes out this month as he continues to sell off homes in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Rhode Island in order to pay off the $6 million he owes in federal taxes. Neither the actor’s representative or Regions Bank returned People’s calls for comment.

President Obama's tour of Asia has begun, with Air Force One touching down in Tokyo Friday. The president hopes to improve relations with Japan, which has drifted away from America in recent years on a variety of issues, including logistical support for the Afghanistan war. At a press conference Friday, Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama said that while Japan will no longer refuel ships that supply Afghanistan, it will offer aid for rebuilding civilian infrastructure, while Obama announced that his decision on the Afghanistan troop surge will come soon. The two countries focused on, as Obama put it, finding "ways to renew and refresh the alliance for the 21st century." Hatoyama promised to cooperate with the U.S. on climate change and nuclear proliferation. Both countries agreed that Iran and North Korea must uphold their nuclear commitments, and urged North Korea to return to six-party talks. However, the stickiest wicket in Japanese-American relations, the relocation of the Marine Corps Air Station Futenma on Okinawa, an issue that Hatoyama campaigned upon, has been mentioned by both leaders, but not yet resolved.

In a discovery that invalidates science textbooks around the world, NASA confirmed Friday that “large amounts” of water exist on the Earth’s moon—about “a dozen two-gallon buckets” worth, as one researcher put it. The evidence comes from an endeavor last month, when the agency crashed an unmanned probe into the moon’s south pole in a successful attempt to kick up ice. The results will likely mean a boon for space expeditions to discover the full extent of the moon’s natural resources and other signs of life. "We're unlocking the mysteries of our nearest neighbor and, by extension, the solar system," NASA’s chief lunar scientist explained. "The moon harbors many secrets.”

Sarah Palin intends to bring comfort and autographed copies of Going Rogue to the troops at Fort Hood on December 4: She announced the new stop for her book tour at the site of the recent tragedy in Texas that left 13 people dead and 38 wounded. It is scheduled for the same day as a stop in Dallas.

Embattled White House Counsel Gregory Craig announced Friday that he is returning to private practice. Craig had struggled to lead the effort to close the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay, which Barack Obama had promised to do within a year of being taking office. Bob Bauer, the president’s personal attorney and longtime adviser, will replace Craig, who also oversaw the president's overhaul of government policies on terrorism interrogations. In a statement from Japan, Obama called Craig a trusted adviser who took on a difficult job. Dissatisfaction over Craig’s management of Guantánamo policy had been brewing for months, and the change was expected.

Perhaps a preview of things to come? Lou Dobbs will be on Fox News on Monday, giving his first interview since his resignation from CNN to Bill O’Reilly. Last summer, O’Reilly defended Dobbs against critics who wanted him fired for his support of “birther” theories. Dobbs offered to appear on The O’Reilly Factor at the time, but quickly backed out, perhaps because of CNN intervention. Fox News and Fox Business have denied hosting talks about hiring Dobbs.

Jon Gosselin’s reality-television show may have been built around a supposedly regular dad who happens to have eight kids, but now fame has made Jon's life not quite so normal. In the midst of his legal battle with TLC, Radar Online obtained new court papers revealing an affidavit in which Jon claims he cannot find employment “because the enormous media interest, cameras, reporters and public interest makes it impossible … to find, secure and maintain a job with an employer who is willing to be exposed to the daily media intrusions that have impeded my life.” Jon also states in his affidavit that TLC both staged and rehearsed scenes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, including directing his actions and “suggest[ing] dialogue, words, responses and conduct.”

With seven bedrooms, seven bathrooms, an exercise room customized by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a 10-year run as the stomping grounds of political royalty, who wouldn't want the beautiful, White House-esque former digs of the late Ted Kennedy? Understandably, not Vicki Kennedy, the widow of the late senator, who has decided to sell their Washington, D.C., home to buy a smaller residence in Washington. The couple bought the 8,900-square-foot home in 1998 for $2.8 million. "What Teddy and I wanted was a welcoming house. We wanted to be able to entertain, but we also wanted a family home," Vicki told Architectural Digest in 1999. The current price for the home, which can be viewed by special appointment, is more than $6 million.

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," Kate Moss tells Women's Wear Daily in a new interview. The 35-year-old waif claims it as one of her mottos, though she says "it never works." Moss has been busy recently, designing a fashion line for Topshop, creating a new Coty perfume called Vintage, and is working on a hair-care line. Her next goal is to break into makeup. As for the definition of beauty, Moss said it's what's inside that counts. "It sounds really corny, but I think that if you're beautiful inside, it shows on the outside for sure. You can be a pretty face, but if you're not a nice person, it just doesn't work."

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the self-proclaimed 9/11 mastermind, and four other Guantánamo Bay detainees will face trial in a civilian federal court in lower Manhattan, blocks from where the World Trade Center towers once stood. Attorney General Eric Holder also announced Friday that he will seek the death penalty. From Tokyo, where he is visiting Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, President Obama said he was "absolutely convinced" that Mohammed "will be subject to the most exacting demands of justice." A handful of other detainees, including accused U.S.S. Cole bomber Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri will face military commissions, possibly in South Carolina. The endeavor is key part of President Obama's plan to close Guantánamo Bay. The trials of the alleged 9/11 terrorists could force the court system to confront legal quagmires surrounding counter-terrorism programs begun in 2001, such as harsh interrogation tactics. Mohammed was waterboarded 183 times in 2003 before the practice was banned. The 9/11 prisoners won't head to New York to face justice for many weeks, however, because they do not yet have formal charges filed against them.

Levi Johnston isn't doing Playgirl for attention, manager Tank Jones says, he's doing it "because he wants to do Playgirl," thus joining the proud ranks of Jim Brown, Burt Reynolds, and Mario Lopez. Johnston’s much-heralded photo shoot took place on Thursday in New York and was "fantastic," Jones said. Apparently Johnston wasn't at all nervous about posing nude. "People are going to see more of Levi than they thought," Jones added. "There was a hockey stick involved." Johnston is headed for a second shoot in the buff on Friday.

Daniel Radcliffe may be smoking the sort of thing that causes one to see house elves and believe in magic. The Daily Mirror says the Harry Potter actor smoked a spliff and allowed a woman to draw a comical mustache on his face during a house party at sometime-girlfriend Laura O'Toole's apartment. Radcliffe reportedly took a few monster hits, then walked around saying, "I love weed." Radcliffe's representative insisted that the smokables in question were not pot, stating, "Daniel does smoke the occasional roll-up cigarette, but he was not doing anything more than this. We are considering our position and will be taking all necessary action in relation to such allegations." Perhaps the sorcerer wasn't stoned after all.

If there were an index to Going Rogue, Levi Johnston would have a disappointing Washington Read in store: Sarah Palin’s new memoir makes no mention of the father of her grandchild, not even in scenes where he was present (like the 2008 Republican National Convention). We take that to mean that none of the book’s 68 color photos are of Johnston nude. Perhaps she’s heeded his warning that, if she does not leave him alone, he’ll leak dirt that will “hurt her”? Palin also says that she did not want her $150,000 wardrobe, but that the McCain campaign forced her to buy it.

Minnesota State Sen. Tarryl Clark is under fire from the state Republican Party for comments she made regarding Rep. Michele Bachmann's family. Bachmann, who once likened AmeriCorps programs to "re-education camps," raised eyebrows earlier this year when her son joined Teach for America, an AmeriCorps program. In an interview with The Daily Beast last week, Clark went after Bachmann, whom she is running against in the 2010 election, saying: "'We have three things in common: We're women, moms, and we both have sons in AmeriCorps. The difference is I'm proud of mine and we should be proud of our young adults giving something to the community.'" In a press release, the Minnesota GOP declared the comments beyond the pale, writing: "Tarryl Clark doesn't get it. The families of politicians are off-limits. The voters of central Minnesota won't vote for a candidate who doesn't understand that bringing the child of any politician into a political attack is always unacceptable."

Two more people have been arrested in the fallout of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme and are being charged with conspiracy and falsifying books and records for the ex-financier. The two men allegedly created computer programs that helped Madoff hide evidence of the fraud, working with him from the 1990s on. "Jerome O'Hara and George Perez allegedly helped construct Bernie Madoff's house of cards," said an attorney for the case. Both men face up to 30 years in prison for their programs, which changed the names of account holders, created false reports and client statements, and created false documents to create the appearance of business transactions.

Seeking to address an apparent example of hypocrisy, the Republican National Committee will no longer cover abortions as part of their employee health-insurance plan. "Money from our loyal donors should not be used for this purpose," chairman Michael Steele said in a statement. "I don't know why this policy existed in the past, but it will not exist under my administration. Consider this issue settled." The announcement came hours after Politico reported that the RNC's insurer, Cigna, covered elective abortion in its standard plans despite the Republican Party's official pro-life platform.

Guess we’ll just have to buy Going Rogue instead: Former CIA agent Valerie Plame lost her lawsuit to overturn the CIA’s efforts to black out the dates she worked for the agency prior to 2002 in her book Fair Game. The Second Circuit Court of Appeals said that the CIA had “demonstrated good reason” for keeping the dates secret, and that Plame is obligated by a secrecy agreement she had signed with the agency.

In 1982, China passed a virtual do-it-yourself kit for nuclear bombs on to Pakistan, according to the written accounts of the father of Pakistan's nuclear program, Abdul Qadeer Khan, obtained by The Washington Post. The cargo that the Pakistan military carted back from the Chinese city of Urumqi included enough weapons-grade uranium for two atomic bombs and a blueprint for a weapon that China had already tested, which helped speed Pakistan toward the bomb. U.S. officials have known about the broad-ranging secret nuclear deal for decades, and once privately confronted China about it, but have avoided raising the issue publicly. China gave Pakistan the materials after Khan, a metallurgist who worked at a Dutch centrifuge manufacturer in the 1970s, shared European centrifuge technology with China in order to speed its lagging uranium-enrichment program. In 2003, Libya confirmed that it obtained nuclear-design information from Khan's network, and U.S. officials worry that Khan also shared the information with Iran.

President Obama will spend 2010 trying to cut down the federal deficit, and the topic will consume much of his first State of the Union address in 2010, Politico reports. Obama's deficit concerns are both political and practical. In nine months, Obama has put more money into new programs than Bill Clinton did in eight years, leaving the country with an annual deficit of $1.4 trillion, which means that new spending initiatives are likely to fall flat. Politically, addressing the deficit issue could help Democrats keep the support of independent voters concerned about the budget during the midterm elections, although it will be a hard sell for Democrats to convince voters they care about spending after voting for the stimulus, bailouts, health care legislation, and a global warming plan. The White House is considering various deficit-reducing measures, including applying some funds from the $700 billion bailout bill to the deficit. It has also asked each Cabinet agency to submit two budget for next year, one plan that freezes spending, and another that cuts it by 5 percent.

Federal prosecutors seized four Shiite Muslim mosques and a 36-story New York skyscraper owned by a nonprofit Muslim organization with suspected ties to the Iranian government Thursday. The Alavi Foundation, which is part of the alleged front company Assa Corp., is being asked to forfeit all of their U.S. properties, totaling $500 million in assets. The foundation is being accused of laundering money back to Iran's state-owned Bank Melli, with which the U.S. has outlawed doing business because of its suspected role in Iran's nuclear program. The foundation provides imprisoned Muslims in the U.S. with educational literature and support for Iranian academics. There are few instances in U.S. history in which a religious place of worship has been seized, because of the First Amendment right to religious freedom.

Fresh off a massive $26.4 billion railroad deal, Warren Buffett is praising the U.S. economy for its resilience and growth potential. In a speech to Columbia University business students Thursday, Buffett gave both Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner "high marks" for handling the financial crisis, which he said had left its most dangerous phase. "The financial panic is behind us," Buffett said, according to Reuters. "Our economy was sputtering, still is sputtering some." The billionaire explained Berkeshire Hathaway's purchase of railroad company Burlington Northern Santa Fe Corp. as based on expectations of population growth and stricter environmental controls. "There will be more people in this country, 10, 20, 30 years from now," Buffett said. "They'll be moving more and more goods back and forth to each other and the most environmentally friendly and cost-efficient way of doing that is railroads."

A 26-year-old German citizen allegedly demanded $100,000 from Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber, claiming that he had a "sexy photograph" of the couple's 7-year-old daughter. Edis Kayalar said he stole the photo from a former nanny and wanted to return it to the parents so it wouldn't fall into the hands of the tabloids. He then turned around and threatened to sell the photo to the media if the couple wouldn't pay up. Court documents state that Kayalar claimed the photo exposed Crawford's daughter "in revealing clothing, bound to a chair and gagged." According to the court papers, the daughter told her parents that the nanny had taken the picture as part of a "cops and robbers" game. Kayalar was indicted Thursday, and the couple are making sure the photograph doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

Pakistan's main spy agency, which oversees counterterrorism in the border regions of Afghanistan, was bombed Friday. An Associated Press reporter on the scene says there were at least eight wounded or dead. The blast knocked down most of the building, which is located in the northwestern city of Peshawar. The area is a militant hub and has been the target of a series of attacks on security forces and civilians since Pakistan stepped up its national-security offensive. Since mid-October, Pakistan has heightened watch over the South Waziristan area, where the Taliban has a stronghold.

A legal battle between the two largest chip makers in the world is over. Intel agreed Thursday to pay a staggering $1.25 billion to settle a series of lawsuits from rival Advance Micro Devices. AMD had sued Intel in 2005, accusing the company of violating antitrust regulations with tactics like offering discounts to customers who stayed away from AMD products. Intel CEO Paul Otellini told Bloomberg News that the settlement was only a "small multiple" of what it risked losing if a trial went badly. The settlement may not end ongoing investigations by the New York Attorney General's office, the Federal Trade Commission, and the European Union, leaving Intel vulnerable to even more payouts in the future.

Italian officials have arrested 17 Algerians who were part of a "significant" international terrorist cell. The members, spread throughout Italy and Europe, allegedly raised approximately $1.5 million for terrorist activities outside of Europe. For the past three years the group had burglarized and commited theft to raise the funds, which were intended to be funneled to Algeria. The arrested had also made contact with North Africans who are under investigation by European countries. An Italian official that the group had been "dismantled."

Though no definite plans have been set forth, the still-to-be-determined strategy for Afghanistan will include careful consideration of troop withdrawal once the area has been stabilized, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said. Gibbs spoke to reporters aboard Air Force One on Thursday, en route to Alaska before continuing on to Asia, emphasizing that Afghanistan is a not a forever war. “It’s important to fully examine not just how we’re going to get folks in, but how we’re going to get folks out,” he said, adding that President Obama will not commit to an "open-ended conflict." Obama continues to seek advice and counsel regarding the next step on Afghanistan, though Gibbs predicted that a decision would be coming sooner rather than later.

Do we still get to call her a hero? Contrary to earlier reports, it now appears that Sgt. Kimberly D. Munley did not shoot the alleged Fort Hood killer, Major Nidal Malik Hasan. In an interview with The New York Times, another cop, Senior Sgt. Mark Todd, says that he brought down the gunman after Munley was wounded. A witness confirms his account. “Once I came around the front of the building, I caught his attention again, started shouting commands, and then he opened up a second time,” Sergeant Todd said. “And that’s when I returned fire, neutralized him and secured him.”

American journalist Euna Lee is set to write her own account of the 140 days she was detained by North Korean officials. Lee, who is a producer for Al Gore's Current TV, was arrested with fellow journalist Laura Ling on March 17 at the border between China and North Korea. They were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor for hostilities toward North Korea, but were pardoned following a visit from former president Bill Clinton. Neither Lee nor Ling has spoken extensively about her time as a captive yet. Lee's book will be titled The World Is Bigger Now: A Memoir of Faith, Family and Freedom. Ling is also pitching a book, with sister and journalist Lisa Ling.

Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue isn't out until Tuesday but leaked excerpts reported by the Associated Press are already setting off denials from John McCain's old campaign staff. In response to the Palin's reported claim that she received a bill from the McCain campaign to pay for expenses related to her own vetting process, a McCain official told CNN that the story is "one hundred percent untrue." The official added: "All those bills are from her personal attorney Thomas Van Flein, mostly relating to the Troopergate investigation and other ethics investigations. It is not legal to pay for those investigations out of general election funds, even if the campaign was so inclined." A spokeswoman for Palin, Meg Stapleton, wouldn't confirm whether the claim was even in the book as it is still embargoed before its release.